For The Love Of You

Twenty years ago, Ryan Madden watched her father walk out the door. She watched it every other year since she was born. He came back to screw with her mother's emotions. When she wasn't having a lazy drunk for a boyfriend, she let him.

All of Ryan's memories of her father Jack were the same. He was leaving and she was try trying to make him stay. She remembered one time when she was four, it was one of her first memories, if not the first. She wrapped herself around his leg and held on all the way to his car.

There were two things Ryan knew about herself with no doubts. She had daddy issues and she was born in effort to keep her father around. That went well. Jack gave her a drum set one Christmas when she was eight and that was that. She was determined to be Keith Moon.

"Ryan, hurry up!" Jamie, Ryan's cousin screamed running into her apartment.

Ryan wasn't a 'go out and party' kind of person. She was the kind of person that sat in her apartment drinking whiskey from the bottle and watched horror movies. That was equal to clubbing, to some people. She liked being left alone. It was safer that way.

"Jesus, woman. Shut up before I shove a straw down your throat." Ryan shot back.

Jamie was hyper. Too hyper for her own good. Ryan walked out of her bedroom wearing jean shorts and a Blink 182 tank top making Jamie shake her head and pull her cousin back into her bedroom. She made Ryan sit down on her bed and went through her closet.

"You have no dresses?" Jamie asked, shocked.

"I don't really see a reason to pimp myself out, unlike you." Ryan said.

"I'm not pimping myself out. I just wanna meet a guy." Jamie said.

"So you can have sex with him." Ryan finished.

"So? You need to get laid yourself, Ryan." Jamie said.

"I have a booty call for that, don't worry." Ryan winked.

"You have a booty call!? Oh, my god!" Jamie screamed.

"Can you shut up?" Ryan asked.

"No. You have a booty call!? Who?" Jamie asked.

"None of your business." Ryan said as she stood up.

Ryan didn't want to know who Jamie had sex with, so she wasn't going to tell Jamie who she had sex with. Ryan was used to being dragged to clubs with Jamie and her friends. She just sat at the bar and drank. Replaying in her head how her life ended up that way.

"What can I get you?" The bartender asked her the moment she sat down.

"Jack." She told him.

Ryan tapped her fingers on the bar, like she did everywhere she went. She was a drummer. She had a band, they were just taking a break because their lead singer's girlfriend just had a baby. She downed her whiskey, thinking about her band, Madden.

"Ryan!" One of Jamie's friends, Marie slurred coming over to her.

"What's up?" Ryan asked her.

"You are so cute with your little dimples. Do you have dimples on your back?" Marie asked.

"I do." Ryan said slowly.

"Oh, you're so cute." Marie smiled.

"Okay. Well...alright." Ryan started to turn away only to have Marie kiss her.

"So cute." Marie said cheerfully and walked away.

"Alright, then." Ryan said slowly wiping her lips on the back of her hand.

"Did I just see that happen?" A guy asked from a couple of stools over.

Ryan looked over at him and the first thing she saw were his tattoos. Everywhere. She nodded slowly taking a sip of her latest drink. Tattoos, everywhere. She smiled. She was a tattoo person, she always had been. Not to that extent, but she loved them.

"I think you did. Did she ask if I had dimples on my back?" Ryan asked him.

"Yes, she did. You said you did." He told her.

"Whoa. That hasn't happened since high school." She said slowly.

"Who could really blame her?" He said.

"What's your name, smooth talker?" She smirked.

"Mike. She said your name was Ryan?" He said.

"Yep. That's probably Michael, right?" She asked.

"Yeah. Ryan's probably just Ryan." He said slowly.

"You'd be correct. My middle name's Milo, though. That's kinda weird." She said.

"Kinda. Do your friends always kiss you when they're drunk?" He asked.

"My friends do. She's my cousin's friend." She clarified making him laugh.

"That makes a difference?" He asked.

"I guess not. What's up with all the tattoos?" She asked.

"What's up with yours?" He asked.

"I don't have sleeves or my neck or my hands. I have my wrists. That's all that's visible to you." She said.

"I like them." He shrugged.

"Don't we all." She said as Jamie came over to her and wrapped her arm around her neck.

"Did Marie just make out with you?" Jamie cracked up.

"She kissed me." Ryan said.

"That's so weird. Savannah was the one that wanted to make out with you." Jamie said before she walked away.

"What the fuck is up with chicks wanting to make out with me?" Ryan asked herself.

"I can almost tell you one hundred percent, it's not just chicks. Take a look around slowly. That guy at the end of the bar, green shirt, he's been eye fucking you for like an hour." Mike told her.

"Eww." Ryan shook her head after she looked.

"We'll get the attention off of the hottest girl in the room." He said as he moved over to sit next to her.

"This will do what?" She asked.

"Relax." He told her before he put his arm around her.

"You are so fucking cold!" She told him making him smile.

"I said relax." He said.

"Alright, I'm relaxed. Cold, but relaxed." She said.

"Green shirt's off your back. Now for black shirt and gray shirt." He said.

"Oh, my God." She groaned.

"Now, now. Don't make me get in line." He said. She laughed shaking her head.

"What's next?" She asked.

"Lean in." He told her.

"Leaning in." She said slowly leaning into him.

"Okay, not doing it. Put your arm around me." He said. She rolled her eyes and did so.

"You rolling your eyes isn't helping your case here, Ryan." He told her.

"Fine, fine. No more rolling of the eyes." She mocked making him smile.

"Gray shirt's gone." He said.

"Good." She said.

"Ever kissed a stranger in a bar?" He asked.

"Who hasn't?" She said.

"That's the next step." He said.

Ryan knew that wasn't the next step. There could've been many more, many different steps to take. Many different actions. Did it really bother her that she'd kiss an attractive stranger in a bar? No. So, she did. For a solid ten minutes.

"Well. They're all gone." Mike sighed after she pulled back.

They didn't move. They probably wouldn't have if Jamie and her friends hadn't walked over and told her that they were ready to go. Ryan had never noticed the attention she got from guys and that night changed that. It changed it completely.

"Thanks." She told Mike after she stood up.

"Anytime." He cleared his throat.

"This was memorable." She told him before she left.