I Just Wanted to Hear Your Voice

June 10th, 2008, 7:19 pm

“Hey Alex…um, I guess it’s probably a good thing you didn’t answer because this is maybe the awkwardest, wait, shit, is that even a word? Damn it. Whatever. Anyways, this’ll probably be the most awkward conversation ever, so thank god I’m just saying it over voicemail. Uh, so, I, I, uh, I really like you, like more than friends like you, and I dunno if you’ve ever noticed that or not, but if you haven’t, this is me telling you that I like you. And I may be completely misreading things, and if I am then I’m really sorry and let’s just pretend I never said anything, but sometimes I think that maybe you might like me, too. And, uh, if that’s the case, then do you think that maybe you’d maybe wanna go on a date with me? Um, call me back when you get the chance.”

June 10th, 2008, 8:26 pm

“Jack, first off, you used the word ‘maybe’ way too many times in that, so I’ve got a list of synonyms for you: possibly, probably, perhaps, perchance, but please don’t say perchance. I might have to slap you. Secondly, I’m pretty sure you didn’t answer when I called because you’re scared of what my response to be. Third, FINALLY. I was starting to think you’d never ask me out. I haven’t been subtle about my feelings or anything. Day after tomorrow, movies and then perchance some food. Scratch that, definitely some food. Can’t wait!

June 13th, 2008, 1:14 am

“Lex, just calling to say that that was the best date ever—and don’t even bother to point out to me that it’s the only date I’ve ever been on, ‘cause that wouldn’t matter, it was fuckin’ awesome and any other date I would’ve had if I’d ever gone on another one would have just been blown out of the water and I’m tired and obviously going to regret this sleep-deprived voicemail in the morning, so goodnight.”

June 13th, 2008, 1:19 am

“Damn it, I was in the shower when you called! I missed you by five minutes and you’re already asleep. Typical. Just so you know, your tired rambling is one of the cutest things ever. Sweet dreams, Jack.”

December 25th, 2008, 12:00 am

“Leave it to you to be gone for our first Christmas together, Lex. Ah well, I’m still calling you at midnight to wish you merry Christmas and tell you I love you. Oh, and you so owe me a mistletoe kiss when you get back; I don’t care that it’ll be two days late. I have a present for you also. Merry Christmas, Alex. I love you!”

December 25th, 2008, 9:42 am

“You’re so corny, Jack. It’s adorable. Don’t worry, you’ll get your mistletoe kiss, and maybe more than that if you’re lucky. I bet the present I got you is cooler. By the way, I’m in another time zone right now, so you actually called and told me merry Christmas at ten PM. I expect another call later so you can tell me when it’s actually Christmas. Merry Christmas, I love you too.”

June 9th, 2009, 10:56 pm

“I think you’re in the shower now and I know I was supposed to call you at eleven but I’m fucking exhausted and I don’t think I can stay up that much longer, even though it’s only a few minutes. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Alex. Love you.”

June 10th, 2009, 12:01 am

“I always leave the cheesy stuff to you, but I’m doing this one. It’s June 10th, and if you don’t know what that means, then I’m gonna reconsider our relationship. It’s been a year since you finally got up the courage to ask me out. I know it’s not our official one year anniversary yet, but I want you to know that this has been the best year ever with you, and I can’t wait to see where the future takes us. I love you to pieces, Jacko.”

June 12th, 2009, 12:00 am

“I tried calling you but it went straight to voicemail, so either A) your phone is off, B) you’re talking to someone else, or C) you’re also trying to call me at midnight on our one year anniversary, which is cute as hell and just another reason for me to keep you around—lemme know if you ever want a list of ‘em—and I’m really hoping it’s C or maybe A, ‘cause B is just unacceptable at this hour, baby. Happy anniversary! I love you, Lex!”

July 19th, 2009, 3:33 pm

“Jaaaack, I don’t care how whiny I sound right now. When are you coming home? I’m so bored and I kind of miss my boyfriend right now. You’ve been gone two weeks and I’m lonely and you’re not answering your phone. Love you.”

July 20th, 2009, 7:21 am

“Alex…it was a fifteen day cruise thing, silly. I’m on my way home now. And I told you I wouldn’t have service while we were on the boat because my phone’s stupid. Oh, my mom has kindly informed me that it’s not a boat, it’s a ship, and in case you can’t tell, I’m rolling my eyes right now. Love you more.”

July 20th, 2009, 4:06 pm

“I bet you’ve already crashed ‘cause you’re probably super tired, even though nobody actually goes to bed at four. Wait, do they? That’d be a horrible way to live, wouldn’t it? Can’t wait to see you tomorrow!”

October 31st, 2009, 2:41 am

“I don’t care if you’re asleep right now, you are getting up and coming over and we’re figuring out costumes because it’s Halloween and by god, we’re going trick-or-treating tonight. And just so I don’t sound like a total controlling dick, I’m adding in a please at the end of this. So, pleeeeease Alex?”

January 1st, 2010, 6:17 am

“No idea why the hell I’m up so early, considering how late I was up last night, but seriously, Jack, new years kisses had better become a tradition because that was a hell of a way to kickstart my year and I’m so glad to have you in my life and I know I tell you this all the time, but I really don’t know where I’d be or what I’d do if I didn’t have you. I love you so much, Jack.”

January 1st, 2010, 1:45 pm

“Aww, when did you become such a sap, Alex? Don’t stop, ‘cause I love it. What you said reminded me of that song from the credits of Monsters, Inc, you know, the one that goes ‘I wouldn’t have nothing if I didn’t have you.’ Yeah, that basically sums up how I feel about you. I’m so crazy about you and I love you too.”

January 1st, 2010, 3:12 pm

“We’ve really gotta start coordinating our calls better than this ‘cause this is our third voicemail within a day, Jack. But I’d like to point out that I love you more, and that’s pretty much the only point of this call.”

February 14th, 2010, 5:55 pm

“I hate Valentine’s Day because, well, it’s just a stupid made-up holiday, but any excuse to tell you I love you is a good one, so happy Valentine’s Day, Lexy. I love you!”

May 29th, 2010, 11:11pm

“WE DID IT! We are officially graduates. We are so fucking awesome, and as soon as you get done taking pictures with your parents, we’re embarking on the greatest senior trip ever!”

June 12th, 2010, 12:03 am

“God damn it, I couldn’t get my phone to turn on and now it’s not midnight anymore, but what-the-hell-ever. Alex, I know we’re only eighteen and just barely out of high school and we’ve only been together for two years, but holy fuck, I can say without a doubt that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re my best friend and the best person I know and you can always make me laugh and you’re cute and funny and sweet and some day down the road, I swear to god I’m asking you to marry me. But for now, I’m content to tell you that I love you so much and I’m more than thrilled to be able to call you mine.”

August 3rd, 2010, 9:12 am

“Jack, hurry up and get your ass over here. We’re supposed to finish packing up all my stuff for college ‘cause I’m lazy and put it off till the last second. You know I don’t have the motivation to do this all by myself, so—oh, never mind, you’re pulling into my driveway now, so just ignore this.”

November 5th, 2010, 7:19 pm

“I know you’re studying and stuff and your phone’s off, but I almost forgot to tell you: it’s the four hundred and fifth anniversary of the Gunpowder Plot and if that’s not exciting, I don’t know what is.”

November 6th, 2010, 2:13 am

“So I guess I could just wake you up because you’re literally a few feet away from me, or I could wait and tell you this in the morning, but thanks for reminding me what yesterday was. You know how much I love that kind of stuff. And I’m leaving you a voicemail about it because one of my favorite things about us is that even though we’re room mates and together almost constantly, we still leave each other voicemails, and that’s something I’ve always loved about our relationship. I dunno why, but it’s just really amazing to pick up my phone and be like, oh, hey, my awesome boyfriend just left me a voicemail, and that way I can listen to it again later and hear your voice whenever I want to.”

December 31st, 2010, 10:34 pm

“Holy balls, traffic is shitty, but I swear I’ll make it back in time for us to have a midnight kiss, Alex.”

June 12th, 2011, 8:18 pm

“Just leaving you a quick voicemail while you’re out getting food. I’ve said it like a million times today, but Jesus Christ, I love you so fucking much, Jack. Happy anniversary! I can’t believe it’s already been three years. Every day with you is a day well spent.”

September 27th, 2011, 6:41 pm

“I’m on my way back to the dorm, but I’m so excited that I couldn’t wait to get back and tell you. I got accepted! I get to study in England for a semester starting in January!”

January 2nd, 2012, 2:06 pm

“Your plane just took off, so I figure you’ll get this when you land. I’m so happy for you. I know I was kinda moping around, but that’s just ‘cause I’m gonna miss you like crazy while you’re off in Europe, but seriously, Jack, I’m really happy that you get this opportunity. Just don’t let any cute English boys steal you away from me. Call me when your flight lands. I love you.”

January 9th, 2012, 6:19 pm (England time)

“Damn it, I think you’re in class now, aren’t you? Gah, it’s only been a week and I already really miss you. Um, just call me later? I love you, Lex.”

January 9th, 2012, 8:57 pm

“God fuckin’ damn it, I hate time zones. That’s pretty much all I’ve got to say, besides I love you more.”

May 4th, 2012, 6:12 am (England time)

“First and foremost, May the fourth be with you. Second, I’m boarding my flight in a few minutes and just wanted to remind you that I love you so much and can’t wait to see you again. Oh, and if you don’t run to me with open arms when I get off that plane, our relationship is over. Love you!”

October 23rd, 2012, 4:04 pm

“I finally got a new phone and figured the best use for it would be to leave you a voicemail ‘cause I haven’t been able to do that with my own phone for a while, and you left your phone at the apartment, by the way.”

December 10th, 2012, 6:52 pm

“So…I’ve been waiting here for like an hour and you haven’t shown up, so I have a hunch you’re not coming. Uh, I’m gonna grab a bite to eat before I come home. See you later.”

December 10th, 2012, 8:15 pm

“Shit, shit, shit, I’m so sorry, Jack. I completely forgot about our date! I got caught up with work and just, fuck, I’m sorry. I’m at home and I’m almost a hundred percent positive that you’re ignoring my call on purpose, so if you don’t answer the next time I call, I’ll take drastic measures.”

December 10th, 2012, 8:19 pm

“I warned you, Jack, but you didn’t answer and it’s time for some desperate measures, so I’m fucking serenading you. Over the phone. And, I, wait, you’re calling me now. Thank god, I didn’t actually want to have to sing. Not that I don’t…oh, forget it…”

April 2nd, 2013, 9:00 pm

“Hey, Lex, it looks like I’m gonna have to stay later than normal tonight, so I’ll see you when I get home. I love you.”

April 3rd, 2013, 7:18 am

“Jaaaack, where are you? Please come home so we can talk this over. I’m really sorry and I love you.”

April 4th, 2013, 4:44 pm

“I’m not coming home, not for a while, Alex. I can’t fucking believe you! I had to work late and when I come home, you’re in our bed with some other guy! What the hell kind of boyfriend does that? And now you won’t answer when I try to call, yet you say you want to talk it over? Don’t bother saying you love me when you don’t mean it.”

April 6th, 2013, 12:09 am

“To be fair, you’re ignoring my calls, too, although I guess you actually have a reason to. Look, I was drunk and lonely and I know that that’s no excuse, but I am so fucking sorry and I really want to work things out because even though I really fucked up, I love you more than you could possibly know.”

May 1st, 2013, 4:17 pm

“You have to stop calling and texting me that you love me, Alex…it’s really hard to believe right now. Give me some time, because I really do love you, but it’s really hard to think about you without crying right now. I’m dropping by later to get some of my stuff.”

May 12th, 2013, 6:15 pm

“Jack, I want you to know that I’m sorry for what I did and that I love you and it’s killing me that I hurt you and I seriously can’t take this anymore. I fucked up and I just…I don’t know. I’m done.”

May 12th, 2013, 7:30 pm

“Your voice in that last voicemail is kind of scaring me the more I listen to it. Please call me back just so I know you’re okay.”

May 12th, 2013, 9:18 pm

“Seriously, Alex, please answer your phone. I’m really starting to worry.”

May 12th, 2013, 10:41 pm

“That’s it, I’m coming home. I’ve left you like thirty messages and I’ve called you at least two dozen times and you’re still not picking up. I swear to god, Alex, if you’ve done something stupid, I’m not gonna forgive you.”

June 12th, 2013, 4:16 pm

“I’m just calling because I miss hearing your voice and I should probably cut your phone off soon, but I can’t bear the thought of losing this last connection to you, since I deleted all of your cute voicemails when I was pissed at you. God damn it, Alex, why the hell did you do this to yourself? You knew I love you, I just needed a little time because you hurt me. I didn’t want you to end it like this…I, I miss you. It’s been a month since it happened, and today would’ve been our five year anniversary and I fucking love you and I fucking miss you and I’m sorry and I, I, I…just, fuck, why did you do this to me? Why’d you have to leave like this? We were supposed to have years and years together and now our time got cut short and I want you back and no matter how much I wish for it, you’re not coming back. I love you so much, Lex.”