You Keep Me Safe and I Will Keep You Wild

Kodi's POV
I hadn’t planned on staying the night at his place but for some reason this man was making me want to stay. I wanted to stay in his arms and have him hold me.

Why? I never felt like this. I never let a one night stand get to me and believe me I had a lot of practice at shutting those emotions out. But for him I didn’t want to and that pissed me off.

He looked so peaceful as he was sound asleep and I was fighting with myself to not leave. But I had to. I could never be with someone like him, my life was too messed up for that.

“Goodbye Evgeni,” I lent down and kissed his lips before leaving him there.

“Kodi,” I heard my dad’s dull voice call from the lounge room as I walked in the door.
“Yeah?” I walked in to find him dressed and ready for work, “what are you doing? Sit down.”
“Kodi,” he sighed as I pushed him back into the sofa.
“You are not going to work today you need to rest.”
“I am fine,” he insisted.
“Dad if you collapse one more time…”
“Kodi please I don’t one of these people dying in a hospital bed.”
“And that’s exactly what you will be if you don’t stop.”
“I won’t.”
“Ugh you’re so stubborn sometimes. It’s alright for you, you’ll be dead and I will be the one stuck here grieving over you,” I grumbled and stormed off to my room.

I hated my dad sometimes. He was sick and wouldn’t admit to defeat. His pub was his life and nothing would stand in his way.

I guess it meant that he was strong. He was though but sometimes I saw it as being stubborn, I saw him being unfair to me. I just never thought my dad would leave. He was my hero, he was always there, always helping me out. But the day I found out he was dying, I felt like someone had pulled the rug out from under my feet and I was just waiting to hit the ground.

I didn’t go to University after high school, I was too busy working for my dad. I wanted to be there for him like he was for me, I wanted to pay him back and help out as he had done everything for me growing up.

My dad was the best. So many people told me he looked like Robert Downey Jr only taller, but my dad was cooler than him. He had been there for me through everything. He was the most amazing person in the whole world and no matter how old I got I would always be his little girl.

I was about 12 years when my mother left. She had bigger and better plans then being a stay at home mother while my dad worked endless hours to keep us going. That’s how I became his little girl, it was just us, me and my dad and that was just how our life was.

It was for that reason I never got close to anyone. I didn’t want to let my dad down. I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to make sure nobody left him ever again like my mother did. That was why escaped his house before he woke up. I couldn’t be there for my dad while I was distracted by some guy. Because there was more of a chance that he would be just ‘that guy’ and I wasn’t throwing anything away for anyone.

I didn’t really want to work but the only way I knew my dad wouldn’t was if I did.

My shift was just like any other. The usual costumers getting drunk and watching the pens games but they made my nights eventful. Well they did until now. Until I met him and for the first time I wasn’t slacking off and cheering along. I didn’t want to because I knew if I did I would go crazy thinking about him.

“Hi what can I get you guys?” I looked around as all the men quietened down.

They spoke in Russian amongst each other and I couldn’t help but let my eyes land on him. I wanted to reach out and touch him. I wanted to say sorry over and over but I wasn’t going to.

“Kodi?” he looked up at me and I knew I had to leave before he got to me.
“I will be right back with your drinks,” I smiled to the others and hurried back to the safety of the bar.
“Kodi,” he followed right behind me.
“What?” I turned around furious that he wouldn’t just leave me alone.
“You didn’t have to leave,” he admitted going bright red.
“Well I am not interested in a boyfriend so don’t even bother… I will put you down for a beer,” I walked off.

I turned back around to see him sitting at the table with his friends. I felt so bad, he was slumped over and he looked hurt.

Maybe there was some point in my life where I would have to stop all this. Stop the running, stop pushing people away, stop hurting others and maybe stop hurting myself. But right now I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to stop from getting away. I had to be there for my dad and my feelings always came second.