The Unusual Suspects

“And then I told her, ‘Okay Cass, you want to play the bitch game? Two can do that.’ Jersey! Are you listening?”
My best friend Jersey Montana twirled her coffee stirrer around in her hot chocolate. She was the only one of us who didn’t live on caffeine. “Yeah, Skye. Sorry.”
I sighed, “I mean, as long as Cassidy doesn’t bother me, I won’t bother her.”
“Right, because that’s totally likely.” Jersey scoffed, “It’s a small campus.”
“It’s a small dorm.” I corrected.
Jersey and I were sitting in the Newbauma Hall common room. The spacious meeting area was completely empty, because the rest of the dorm either had yet to arrive or were unpacking.
“It’s awesome that we get to be roommates again,” I said, “Especially because it’s senior year.”
“Where are the other Unusuals?” she asked. Jersey knew that if anybody knew about the whereabouts of our crew, it would be me.
The Unusual Suspects is my stellar group of friends here at Washington Arts Academy. Our school is a prestigious boarding school for the artistically gifted high school set. Don’t believe we’re important? The Prime Minister of Germany mentioned us in his election speech. We’re the kids that prove that in a sports-oriented world, arts still matter. The arts are the heart of humanity, and we are the Chosen Ones. Anyway, we rock. At our old schools we were social “rejects”—awkward, teased, pushed around, you name it. Here, we’re royalty. When we walk in the halls we turn heads. We’re the trendsetters of Washington Arts Academy and we wear it well. On the streets we’re nobodies—people look at us and think we’re weird combinations of facial piercings and bad hair dye who can’t be trusted—but in these neon-painted halls we’re fireworks. We are leaders of the future actors, singers, poets, and Pulitzer Prize winners of the world. We’ll be taking photos for the biggest newspapers and writing your comic books. We’ll be taking over your life before you know it.
“I just got Inkling from Donte. He and Jane are at the Starbucks kiosk and are on their way” The Quill was our school’s social networking site, a mix of twitter and Facebook. Basically, Inkling was a tweet or status post.
“But what about Jessica and Stella? Or Lucy and Maryah?” Jersey’s eyes widened with curiosity.
“Lucy and Maryah had another fight. I could hear them when I was walking in the dorm lobby. They’re gonna be a while” I took a sip from my coffee and rolled my eyes .
“A-gain?” Jersey gasped “It’s only the first day!”
“Some things never changed” I stretched and lazily put my hands behind my head.
“Aye, Aye, Donte Jones is in the house!”
I whipped my head around and there was Donte Jones, with his twin sister Jane lagging behind. She rolled her eyes at her loud brother and blushed a faint pink. Donte and Jane might’ve came from the same uterus but were completely different. Donte was that “cool kid” you wish you knew, who radiated swag and class at the same time whenever he walked. Jane was the shy girl who’s life revolved around Manga and comic books, and had a tendency to hide in Donte’s shadow.
“Donte!!” Jersey and I both screamed. We shot out of our chairs and attempted to embrace Donte without spilling our hot drinks. There was always a unique air of excitement when Donte walked in the room. It was just part of his swag.
“Is everyone else coming?” Jersey frantically looked behind Donte and Jane at the common room entrance
“Gosh Jersey, calm down!” Donte spoke, “Did you take your Ritalin this morning?”
“No, but I got my caffeine!” Jersey grinned goofily and threw her biodegradable Starbucks cup in the air. I smiled at her—she was so “adorablawkward”
“That’s not even caffeine!” Jane pointed out, finally speaking up “that’s hot chocolate”
“And you know it” Donte belted in his rap voice. Urban music was his passion-slash-area of study here at the Academy (basically the “bitches ‘n’ hoes” major). We all had one—it was required.
“Haters” Jersey mumbled, taking a sip of her drink
“I also found these two on the way over here” Jane pointed her finger to the doorway. We turned around again and found the infamous Lucy Hope and Maryah Lopez duo bickering as they walked in the common room.
“SOULMATE!” I screamed, pushing Donte and Jane aside to rush over and embrace Lucy. Two years ago we met while blending smoothies at the school Jamba Juice kiosk. We’ve been inseparable ever since.
“YOU WHACK!” Lucy cried back in my face. At the sight of me her anger at Maryah melted away and was replaced with her usual bubbly glow.
“Did you go up another gage size Lucy?” Jersey asked, waddling over to where we hugged. Maryah was awkwardly standing next to us, staring down at the tops of her Vans, looking unsure and troubled. I knew why, but no one else did.
“Oh-KAY, Lucy! I see you wit dem big holes in your ears!” Donte exclaimed in his angry-black-woman voice, waving his fingers in the air, suddenly bursting into this really old Kanye song.
“Not again” Jane muttered, rolling her eyes but hiding her grin
“Really guys? Still!” Jessica Smith—our more “practical” friend—walked in the common room in one of her original outfits~ a tangerine wrap dress she made in Fashion Design 3 for her final project last spring. Following closely behind her was our fearless, sarcastic friend Stella Justice, holding her brand-new Zelda hoodie (it was still August outside).
“What?” Jersey asked, still laughing
“Dude, that song is so old” Stella said. She hugged Baby Doll and Jane, then went up to Donte and pounded fist. I caught Maryah looking at Lucy, who still looked kind of pissed, from the corners of her eyes. I gave her a look, give her a break.
“Whatever” Jane rolled her eyes. Things were tense between Stella and Jane. Their sarcasm often clashed, and the consequences were epic.
“Okay guys, listen up!” I got down to business, “Our friend Donte took the liberty of finding refreshments, courtesy of his homie Big Tony. Vladimir is dropping some sick beats and Fernando’s bringing all his stoner friends”
“Is he going shirtless?” Lucy interrupted. She couldn’t contain her horny excitement.
“When has he never?” Jane replied
“He makes Taylor Lautner look professional” Donte remarked. Clearly he was jealous of Fernando’s abs, even though the two boys were close. They were both really chill guys. That’s why we loved them, as opposed to the many jerks and players that go to our school.
“ANYWAYS” I took the reins once again “Stella, Lucy, and Maryah—you’ve got your set list all figured out, right?” The three girls—and Fernando—were in an underground rock band, sponsored by the school’s Music Program, called “Diglett’s Cave” (if the faculty actually listened to the grungy, Emo lyrics they would not be sponsoring them). Stella was lead guitarist, Fernando was bassist (because bassists like to rip their shirts off), Maryah was drummer, while Lucy tore up the microphone with her sweet yet gravelly voice and ballad-y lyrics.
“Yeah, we put in some new stuff we wrote over the summer” Stella remarked excitedly
“And Fernando said he’ll be trying out some new pyrotechnic effects he learned from his redneck relatives in Georgia” Lucy piped
“He’s such a pyromaniac!” Jane said
“But he’s soo hawt!” Jersey smiled adorably
“Yeah, but he’s dangerous” Jane muttered
“Not in this outfit!” Lucy cried out
We all laughed hysterically again. Inside Joke #14: “Not in this outfit” is a good excuse for everything, from hooking up with guys you like who are already in relationships with other girls to not studying for your boring Art History exam.
“Swag!” Donte remarked, turning his red DC cap sideways over his unruly dark curls and crossing his arms over his chest in some awesome pose.
“This is gonna be the sickest back-to-school dorm party EVER!” Maryah bellowed
“How many people are coming?” Jessica inquired, spreading out the wrinkles in her wrap dress with the care and precision of a creator.
“Newbauma’s finest, plus the not so fine” I rolled my eyes
As if on cue….
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the Freakshow… and their Main Attraction” a hauntingly-familiar voice purred from the entryway
My heart hit full acceleration, pounding to a single beat: Oh no
It was Cassidy Love, the aforementioned bitch who stole my boyfriend right from under my nose last spring. I hadn’t seen her since I walked away from her and our group split right before the summer. We were supposed to do so much stuff together—Warped Tour, senior year coffee runs, getting our first tattoo—but I guess things change.
She did change, but for the worse. She dyed her hair an obnoxious shade of orange that made her greasy blonde hair that more nauseating. Over the summer she got snakebites and gained an extra few pounds—probably from all the booze she consumed in the sketchiest areas of Ocean City—peeking out from beneath a too-tight cropped tee. Flanking both of her sides were her new number-one bitches, the two former Unusuals who betrayed us by choosing her side over who really mattered: Jinx and Linzay. Jinx, her new beta, glowered from her right. Linzay, who was now guilty only by association, strayed a little bit on her left. Jinx had half-dyed her severe Victoria Beckham bob a weird shade of turquoise and got a whole new breed of facial piercings left over from her Body Art class. Linzay looked the same as always—ghost white skin, bright orange hair, wide blue eyes that I used to think were so innocent, and the uniform of a Hot Topic Mannequin—but her hair normally pulled back in a reserved ponytail hung limp around her shoulders and was slathered with too much hair gel that smelled like Cassidy’s sick-cotton-candy perfume. Follow her around long enough and soon she’ll have you smelling like the street corner too.
Word down Constitution Avenue was they called themselves the “Anti-Unusuals”. We just called them the “Band Sluts”.
My more faithful Unusuals quickly looked from the Band Sluts to me, worry filling each of their eyes as they waited for my reaction—and a possible showdown.
I had nothing to say to Cassidy and her new crew. Memories of what happened last spring filled my mind and all I had for her and her friends now was disgust. I was also hurt, but I couldn’t let my Unusuals—or Cassidy—see. Instead, I decided to let my disgust and newfound confidence-slash-leadership shine through.
“Oh hey, Cass,” I called her by her old nickname that I was sure she hated now, “I didn’t see you there. How’s business on the corner? Judging by your outfit—and lack of hygiene—I’m assuming the economy has affected it.”
She scowled, light blue eyes turning dark and lethal with hate. A collective “oh” escaped my beloved Unusuals. Maryah lost her bubbly energy and looked troubled once again. Donte stood there with his hands in his pockets. Jersey looked withdrawn—she was fearful of Cassidy and what she was capable of. Jessica and Jane exchanged a tense glance and hung back, not wanting to get involved yet ready to stand up for me if needed.
Suddenly, Lucy flanked one of my sides defensively and Stella grabbed the other side. If I was going to put up a fight with Cassidy and her Band Sluts, I needed Lucy’s toughness and Stella’s brash, super-sharp tongue. I had to thank Cassidy for one thing: She helped me figure out who my real friends were.
“At least she’s not a virgin!” Jinx stepped forward, defensive like a beta should be.
“Wait, but Skye’s not a virgin!” Jersey whispered
“Shut up Jersey” Jane hissed
Yeah I thought shut up. It wasn’t something I was proud of or wanted to think about. I wasn’t going to put my business on blast or take pride in it—like a Band Slut.
Cassidy held her hand up to silence Jinx, not steering her eyes away from me. Jinx reluctantly stepped back. She acted like she was loyal to Cassidy, but I had a knack for looking in people’s eyes and seeing the truth. She was just as fake as Cassidy, if not more desperate, and wanted what Cassidy had.
Linzay, meanwhile, said nothing and looked down at the floor. I could tell she felt guilty, but I wasn’t buying it. As long as she stood by Cassidy’s side, she was nothing but a speck of dirt that meant little to me.
“Not a virgin? Ha! You’re just as ‘bad’ as I am” she snapped
“YOU WHACK BITCH!” Lucy shouted, pointing her ducky-polished fingernail accusingly at her. What an amazing best friend.
“You’re such a slut Cass-hole” Stella lashed out her tongue like a fire-laced whip “You have the nerve to call Skye a whore like you when you stole her boyfriend from her and slept with every stoner and douche-bag on campus. You got more diseases than the waiting room at Planned Parenthood”
“BURN!” Donte exclaimed, bringing swag to the moment
“Why do you even hate Skye?” Jessica piped up. Always so collected even in situations like this. “You were the one who stabbed her in the back. What have you got against her?”
“Shut up Jessica, you retard!” Jinx fired back
“THAT’S ENOUGH!” I exclaimed, “You can talk shit about me all you want, but if you bring my friends into it, that...that’s fucking personal!”
“Yeah, Skye’s right!” Jersey stepped in the ring, and slowly everyone else followed--except Jane who hung back, but shot Linzay a cool glare.
“Skye has something that you lack—loyalty to her friends” she defiantly fired back.
Through the pain and anger that Cassidy effortlessly sparked within me, I felt an overpowering love for my friends. It surged through my veins and wrapped me with a special kind of warmth than even Cassidy couldn’t destroy with her icy attitude.
“Hey, well, guess what?” she took several steps forward until she was up in my face, her cigarette and Monster-laced breath fanning my skin as she screamed at me “Your little boyfriend came to ME! You know why?! Clearly you weren’t satisfying him!”
I was so close to ripping those snakebites out of her lips and revealing the herpes she tried to hide, but we were interrupted. Apparently while we were talking more students entered the common room in their sweats thirsting for early-morning gossip and chai lattes, and when the Band Sluts came the tension was obvious. Now that the confrontation became a full-blown war, someone had called our dorm supervisor, Shi Huangdi, to come quick before blood was spilled.
“Girls, GIRLS!” screamed Shi Huangdi, racing over to our circle in the middle of the common room and stepping between me and Cassidy. She kept us apart with both her hands before any one of us could rip each other’s hair out. She was dressed in baggy sweats rather than her usual I’d-rather-be-at-Harvard-right-now clothes and her hair wasn’t perfectly tied back like it usually was. She’d just woken up, and judging by the irritated purple sacs beneath her tiny eyes this was not the sort of thing she wanted to do at seven o’clock in the morning.
Shi Huangdi wasn’t the real name of our dorm supervisor. We think her name was probably something normally American like Rachel and something Asian like Lee, but she reminded us of China’s first emperor, Legalist dictator Shi Huangdi (you know, the one with the Terracotta Warriors beneath the well). We nicknamed her after an ancient dictator because she was anal, strict, and really, really annoying. She was always so prim and neat and OCD, and she never let cute boys in skater clothes linger by our dorms after eight or else she’d make us clean the furniture or vacuum the neon rugs in the common room or some stupid shit like that. One time Donte was rapping about haters and motivators in the quad around Newbauma hall—the one with all the artsy trees and the koi pond—and she accused him of disturbing the peace and made him clean the bathrooms the next day (need I mention, the bathrooms are straight out of a horror film project for Film II). We’ve had to put up with her since we graduated from the Lower School and were inducted in Newbauma Hall, so to cope with our suffrage we always pulled pranks on her. Some days we stole a carton of eggs from the dining hall kitchen—courtesy of my friend Ash (more on HIM later)—and did target practice on her Toyota Camri. Other days we stole some random animal like a parrot from the Animal Science lab and let it loose in her bedroom at around midnight. Luckily tonight was her night off, so the party was a go. Letting a dorm supervisor take her night off the first night a thousand weird, artsy, half-druggie teenagers are back home without parents? Good job Washington Arts, good job.
“That’s ENOUGH!” Shi Huangdi shouted, loosing her cool (well, you can’t loose what you never had, so never mind) “Fighting in the common rooms—or ANYWHERE on school grounds—is strictly prohibited! I don’t know what happened between you two girls, because last time I checked you were frolicking in the fields together—“ I mean, I guess I thought to myself. She was sounding really sarcastic, and I was already planning what the first Shi Huangdi prank of the year should be. “—If I catch you two fighting and disturbing the peace again—“ she tilted her head towards the crowd of curious, thirsty-for-drama upperclassmen gathering around us, but keeping their safe distance. She talked like they were offended by our fight, but it was so obvious they were horny for something juicy to gossip about in their art classes.
“—You two will serve weekend detention!”
“What?” we—Unusuals and Band Sluts—collectively gasped
“Wait, I thought the punishment was just cleaning or some shit” Stella interjected
“Not this year, my sweet children!” she grinned, using her trademark lame diction
Dictator… I aggressively thought
“That’s whack!” Lucy exclaimed
“Do you understand?” she asked us menacingly
We were silent. We exchanged another lethal glare before reluctantly nodding our heads in agreement.
“Good, now DISPERSE!” Shi Huangdi shouted not just to us but to the crowd gathering. Instantly, the students retreated to their dorms in pure terror of our advisor (oh, please). Finally she stalked back off to wherever her lair was, seeming pretty pleased with herself.
“That bitch!” Maryah hissed, breaking her conflicted silence
“Shut up Maryah” Lucy whispered, obviously bothered by everything but taking it out on her roommate as usual.
Maryah looked crestfallen, and together they walked back to their dorm. Lucy went out of her way to bump into Linzay on her way out. Linzay didn’t react. Jinx flipped her the bird when she wasn’t looking, but if Lucy had seen she would’ve tackled her right there and gotten all of us “weekend detention” with the Dictator.
“Come on, let’s leave this ho to find another man I can steal” Cassidy winked at me with a venomous smile, turned on her eight-inch spiked stiletto heel, and walked away. Jinx instantly followed, attached to her hip like some lonely desperate puppy. However, Linzay stayed where she was. She gave me some pathetic, longing gaze—begging for forgiveness—but I couldn’t look at her. I made it obvious that she wasn’t welcome in my sight anymore.
“Linzay!” Cassidy shouted, and she ran back over in a jolted panic. I watched as Cassidy threw her arm around Linzay and led her out, talking in a voice loud enough it was meant to be heard by me…
“So, Linzay, tell me more about this new roommate of yours…”
Senior year seemed to be getting off to a great start…