Closer

Avery

“Yes I do!” His words were urgent. I’ve only known him for a week or less. “You’re just saying that so i’ll stop.” I said through tears. “Yes, because, you’re about to enter a place you’ve never been.” He explained. “Why can’t you just do what you did with those girls with me?” I asked. “Because I actually like you. Love you now.” He wiped the tears that kept falling.

“I feel like you don’t want to touch me.” I whispered, hurt. “Avery,” He took my face in his hands. “I want to touch every part of you. I don’t want to do it without you knowing that’s what you really want.” He said, gently. “I want it so bad.” I took his hands away from my face. “God i do too. But, I feel like you’re forcing yourself on me.” He brushed a piece of my hair behind my ear.

“Well, I am.” I stated. “I just want you to be comfortable and feel good.” He kissed my cheek. “I do!.” I said, frustrated. “Avery. You do NOT want to lose your virginity in the back of my piece of shit car.” Matt reminded me.

I nodded. “You’re right. Okay.” I wiped the tears out from under my eyes. Matt lifted me and I crunched myself back into the passenger seat. He did the same and started the engine.

*********

The next morning, i woke up to the smell of pancakes. I sniffed again, to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. That’s odd, my mom never makes pancakes unless.... I bolted downstairs and slid into the kitchen. “Well good morning sport.” Julie’s dad greeted me. I smiled at him. Weirdo. “What’s this for?” I asked, gesturing to all the pancakes stacked on the plate.

“They’re for your big morning back!” Mom exclaimed. I didn’t believe her. Julie trudged downstairs and asked the same question that I just asked. “What’re all the pancakes for?” Her hair was poking in every which way. My mom and her dad looked at each other excitedly. “I’m pregnant!” My mom yelled. “What!?” Julie and I asked in unison.

“Yep! I’m going in for another checkup in a few weeks!” She threw her hands in the air and did a happy dance. I glanced over at Julie who looked like she was going to be sick. She walked back upstairs and shut her door.

“What do you think honey?” Mom had a sparkle in her eyes. I haven’t seen that sparkle since before she and Dad split. I walked over to give her a hug. “Congrats Mom.” I said. She hugged me back. I grabbed two pancakes and drowned them in syrup. I walked back upstairs and started wolfing them down.

My phone chimed. I looked over at it. Who was texting me at nine in the morning? Well whoever it was, was going to have to wait. My hands were sticky with syrup. I finished eating and took the plate downstairs. I rinsed it off and washed the sticky substance off my hands. I dried my hands on the soft rag that hung by the sink.

I headed back upstairs to check my phone. It was a text from Christian. He wants to hang out today.

I typed back: Is Heidi coming?

He immediately responded: Nope. Had family stuff to do.

I scrunched up my nose. That didn’t sound like Heidi. I replied back with: Sure. What time and what are we doing?

Another immediate response: Park @ 2.

I replied: Sounds good.

At 1:30, I shrugged into some shorts and a tank. I let my blonde hair hang down around the nape of my neck. It was still curly from last night. I smiled. Matt was amazing. I took the stairs one step at a time. “I’m going to the park. Is that okay?” I asked Mom. “Sure honey.” She was glowing with happiness. I was happy for her.

The walk to the park was perfect. It gave me ten minutes to think about everything that happened last night. I was so close to losing my virginity. I put my hands over my face in embarrassment. Matt probably thought I was trying to get it over with. Was I? I don’t know. All I know is that I like Matt and he loves me.

I arrived to the park to find Christian sitting on a swing all by himself. “Hey.” I called out. He waved, “Hey.” “What’s up?” I took the swing right next to him. “Just wanted to talk.” He said. “What about?” I asked him. “How are you and that guy you asked me about?” He ignored my question. “What?” I asked. I never asked him about Matt.

“You asked what makes guys talk to you when they haven’t talked to you at all.” He reminded me. A light bulb went off in my head. “Ohh! Uhh. Things are a little rocky.” I said truthfully. “How come?” Something about Christian was different today.

“Some things happened last night. I got a little worked up.” I chose my words carefully. His eyes widened. “Did you...?” “No!” I cried. Christian held up his hands, “Sorry.” I shrugged, “It’s fine.” Christian knotted his fingers together. He looked nervous.

“Avery, I like you.” He said softly. What?! “Since when?” I asked, cool on the outside, but screaming on the inside. “A few weeks ago.” He admitted. So that’s why it felt weird between us. He liked me.

“I know you have someone in your life right now, but I really want to be with you.” He reached out and grabbed my hand. I didn’t pull away and I didn’t grab his hand. “I like Matt.” I told him as gently as I could. Christian couldn’t just come into my life, tell me he’s interested, then expect me to drop everything for him. Rage bubbled up inside of me, but I tried to remain calm.

“That stupid jock?” He spat. I tore his hand away from mine. “You don’t know him. Don’t judge him.” I glared at him. “Does he even like you back?” He snorted. He was making fun of us. “Yeah actually, he told me he loved me last night.” I rubbed it in his face.

His face twisted with jealousy. “He’s just trying to get into your panties.” Christian retorted. “No! We had a talk about it! Quit trying to act like you know everything about my life! You can’t just expect me to drop everything and come running to you!” I yelled at him. Christian took a step back. He left the park without saying a single word to me.

I turned on my heel and sprinted back home.