Euphoria
No Ones Coming Home Tonight
Years passed since my mother got laid to rest. I still have trouble coping with it at times, but for the most part I have come to accept my situation. The past never changes. It's a fact that some of us find a hard time accepting, but it's something that must be done.
I spend my days working which is a helpful tool to mask the loneliness that I actually feel. I am acquaintances with most of the staff and laborers, and I still have a strong friendship with Phil. It was because of this friendship that I was never the same after he died.
I've seemed to block the memory of that night from my head because it was different than the loss of my mother. It wasn't an expected tragedy; instead, it was was that haunted me. The screams and cries coming from the other side of the phone as I laid in bed that night seem to echo over and over in my head.
When I had came to my senses, I realized that Phil's wife was telling me that Phil had been in an accident. Struck by a drunk driver as he was coming home from staying late on a sight. I wanted nothing more than to tell her to keep calm, but no words found their way out of my mouth. The cries on the other end continued as I slowly faded away from myself. The rest of that night became a blur over the past year since it happened.
His funeral was strange. Much stranger than my mother's because I realized just how many people Phil had in his life. They all had the same mournful face painted on them as they reflected on a man that they held dearly. I started the funeral procession with a yearning to talk to my only friend one more time. As it came to a close; however, I began yearning to repair the damage left to his family.
I was encouraged by Phil's wife and close family to give a speech seeing as how we had gotten so close over the years. It never felt right. I only wished that his death wasn't the reason I had to write something about him. It's a shame that we express how we really feel for someone when they can no longer hear it and appreciate your words. The speech I gave faded from my memory, and I choose to not try and remember it. However, the final part of my speech still sticks with me because it was when I became aware that the last few sentences on my paper meant that I would have to stop talking about him.
"His goal was once to step out of the shadow that laid over him created by his siblings, but as he grew older his goal became never allowing a shadow to exist in his own family. However, Phil did leave a shadow. A shadow that will watch over his family and friends for the rest of our days. This world has a cruel way of taking away the things we love when we least expect it, but where there is tragedy there is remembrance. I advise all of you to take this tragedy as a reminder to truly appreciate those around you and those that have passed. Remember the memories that you have shared with the ones you love. Because if you truly remember, then they will live on forever in your heart."
They clapped. Applause at a funeral seems morbidly ironic, but I believe it was well earned. I took that applause as a final cheer for a life that did so much more than what they had set out to achieve.
I spend my days working which is a helpful tool to mask the loneliness that I actually feel. I am acquaintances with most of the staff and laborers, and I still have a strong friendship with Phil. It was because of this friendship that I was never the same after he died.
I've seemed to block the memory of that night from my head because it was different than the loss of my mother. It wasn't an expected tragedy; instead, it was was that haunted me. The screams and cries coming from the other side of the phone as I laid in bed that night seem to echo over and over in my head.
When I had came to my senses, I realized that Phil's wife was telling me that Phil had been in an accident. Struck by a drunk driver as he was coming home from staying late on a sight. I wanted nothing more than to tell her to keep calm, but no words found their way out of my mouth. The cries on the other end continued as I slowly faded away from myself. The rest of that night became a blur over the past year since it happened.
His funeral was strange. Much stranger than my mother's because I realized just how many people Phil had in his life. They all had the same mournful face painted on them as they reflected on a man that they held dearly. I started the funeral procession with a yearning to talk to my only friend one more time. As it came to a close; however, I began yearning to repair the damage left to his family.
I was encouraged by Phil's wife and close family to give a speech seeing as how we had gotten so close over the years. It never felt right. I only wished that his death wasn't the reason I had to write something about him. It's a shame that we express how we really feel for someone when they can no longer hear it and appreciate your words. The speech I gave faded from my memory, and I choose to not try and remember it. However, the final part of my speech still sticks with me because it was when I became aware that the last few sentences on my paper meant that I would have to stop talking about him.
"His goal was once to step out of the shadow that laid over him created by his siblings, but as he grew older his goal became never allowing a shadow to exist in his own family. However, Phil did leave a shadow. A shadow that will watch over his family and friends for the rest of our days. This world has a cruel way of taking away the things we love when we least expect it, but where there is tragedy there is remembrance. I advise all of you to take this tragedy as a reminder to truly appreciate those around you and those that have passed. Remember the memories that you have shared with the ones you love. Because if you truly remember, then they will live on forever in your heart."
They clapped. Applause at a funeral seems morbidly ironic, but I believe it was well earned. I took that applause as a final cheer for a life that did so much more than what they had set out to achieve.