Nuclear Family

"Mae, get some shoes on. You and I are going out for a few hours." Billie Joe told his daughter on a Saturday in early October as she sat in the living room watching Jack play Xbox.

"Where are we going? I may have plans." She looked up at Billie inquisitively, trying to figure out where they were going based on his outfit. He was wearing black jeans, a white shirt repping some band with the collar cut out of it, and a leather jacket with his favorite Converse.

"It's a surprise, but I think you'll like it. Just go throw some Chucks on and let's go."

Rita stood up from the couch and smoothed out her dark purple skinny jeans and her black v-neck, then headed over to the front door to pull on her worn high tops. She stuffed her phone in her back pocket, then waited for Billie to head out to the car. She was confused when he didn't go into the garage to the BMW and instead went out the front door to his black, old Ford.

"Dad, seriously. Where are we going?" Rita sat in the front seat, looking at her father in anticipation.

"We're gonna go to a few of my old hangouts. You're gonna see how I lived and survived for years until I finally made it."

Billie wanted to show her these places so she could see how easy she had things at home. It was important for his kids to know where he came from and all the shit he had to go through to get to where he was today.

Billie Joe drove to Tightwad Hill, and father and daughter sat at the base of the hill, where he told her about how he used to come up and do drug deals all the time.

"Your mom used to come up here and do homework sometimes, just to get away from everything, but I kept telling her that it wasn't safe because of all the druggies, when I was one of the people she should've been watching out for."

Rita watched Billie sigh and look at the hill sadly; that had been a phase of his life that he didn't really want to share with his kids, but he figured he'd start with Rita first. Once Jack was almost 16, he'd do this with him, too.

"Drugs were a hell of a lot cheaper back then, I'll tell you that right now." Billie chuckled as they got back in the car and headed to the next place.

They went to Christie Road, Telegraph Avenue, and across the tracks to his first apartment. When Billie parked outside of a warehouse, Rita looked at him skeptically.

"What happened in there?" After hearing all of the stories he had told her on their drive, she was afraid of what he was about to tell her.

"I lived here with a bunch of other people I didn't really know. They were all in bands, and I needed somewhere to stay, so they let me live with them. I would be high for days at a time here…"

"You lived in a warehouse?" Rita scrunched up her nose, making a face and Billie laughed.

"Yeah. I did what I had to do. I couldn't live in my apartment anymore; it hurt way too much after your mom-" He cut himself short, not wanting to think about it.

"After mom what, Dad?" Rita looked at him now, her eyes gleaming with questions. Of course he didn't want her to know, but now she was going to annoy the hell out of him for it if he didn't spill.

"Mom left me for a couple of years. I had to get my act together. This was way before you and Jack, though."

"Yeah, but she loves you so much. How could she just leave?"

Billie Joe ran a hand through his hair, scratching his head and sighing.

"She thought that I did some things on tour that I shouldn't have, but I didn't do any of it. It was miscommunication, and she left. I didn't see her for almost two years before I ran into her at the Foxboro apartments I pointed out when we drove here."

"Mom lived so close but you didn't see her?! Weren't you looking?" Rita was trying to piece everything together, but it wasn't working since Billie was being vague.

"I thought she was in Florida with family. It hurt too much to go to Amoeba, where she worked for ever, or any of the places she loved."

"You're an idiot, Dad. That'd be the first place I'd go looking."

Billie rolled his eyes at his child, sighing at the fact that she wasn't showing any sympathy. She was acting like he would if someone else had told him this.

"Mae, I've loved your mom for 30 years, and I'm 38 now. That's the majority of my fucking life. When she suddenly was gone, I didn't know what to do and I shut down. It'd be like if in ten years, Drew stops talking to you and you don't see him for years."

"Except for the fact that I'm not in love with Drew. He's my best friend." Rita crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the warehouse, avoiding eye contact at all cost.

"Yeah, your mom and I started out as best friends, too." Billie shot the girl a knowing smile before putting the car in drive and taking off down the street to buy her lunch.

They sat across from one another at a small diner, Billie Joe with a coffee and Rita with a Dr. Pepper, idly talking about sports as they waited for their meals. It was a rare occurrence for the girl to get her father to herself, so she was making the most of it.

“How did you know that mom was the one?” Rita asked suddenly, breaking Billie out of his thoughts. “Like, you guys weren’t together for that two years and you probably dated other people. Did some light go off and you were like ‘this is it’ or something?”

Billie thought about it for a few seconds, racking his brain for a way to explain his feelings to the girl without sounding like a total idiot. He smiled, glad that she felt comfortable asking him about something so personal, so he wanted his answer to be useful to her.

“I guess I tried seeing other people but every time I was even near a girl I couldn’t stop comparing her to Grace. I don’t wanna sound cliché but I felt like part of me was missing, almost, and drugs didn’t help to fill that void..” He trailed off for a second, realizing something he had almost forgotten. “Nothing filled that void until I saw her again.”

“Ugh that’s so gross and cute at the same time. I’m glad you found each other again, well obviously because I wouldn’t be here, but because I can’t picture you without mom, or her without you.” Rita flashed a caring smile that reminded him of Grace, and took a sip of her soda.

“Well I’m glad I could make your stomach churn with my mushy love saga,” Billie grinned, his hands making some grand gesture as he spoke. “You’ll get to experience your own at some point. But not anytime soon, young lady.”

Rita Mae rolled her eyes, pushing her bangs out of her face and saying that the day she fell in love would be the day the world ended. Billie shook his head, laughing at the girl as their waitress delivered their food.