A Fragile Doll

Chapter 3

April’s POV:

I woke up to my all-time favorite song; Ed Sheeran’s “You need me, I don’t need you”. I looked at my phone; 6:30 a.m. Ugh, another day of putting up with a bunch of fake people. I took a quick shower and quickly got dressed putting on my red skinny jeans, blue and white striped shirt, and a black blazer. I looked for my black pumps and headed downstairs for breakfast. I quickly grabbed two bagel’s to go as I ran outside to Tyler’s car and passed one to him as he was waiting on me to settle down.

Steven’s POV:

I was sitting at the same seat as yesterday when April walked into the classroom. She looked amazing and I had to force myself to peel my eyes off of her. She took a seat next to me taking out her books and whatnot.

“Hey I’m sorry about yesterday” I said looking at her apologetically.

“It’s cool” she said a little hesitantly. I knew why she was ignoring me. I knew why she wouldn’t even look at me and I couldn’t blame her for the way she acted towards me. Just as I turned myself towards her two girls stood in between us looking down at April.

“Awh did someone pour ketchup all over you?” one of them said making a joke about her red skinny jeans.

“Oh no, but did you run out of clothes? Because that ‘skirt’ it barely covering your ass.” She said smiling and putting quotations around the word ‘skirt’. I couldn’t help but smile at her comment because it was true. The girl’s ass was literally hanging out.

Before the girl could make a come-back Mr. Doyle walked in telling her to sit down. I soon found out that the girl’s name is Taylor. I looked over at April apologetically but she just shrugged it off. After class I stood next to her desk looking down at her.

“Hey let me make it up to you, let me take you out tonight for dinner” I said hoping she’d say yes.
“Thanks for the offer but no thanks” she said standing up and walking past me. Did I just get rejected for the first time in my life? I grabbed her arm in the hallway and swung her around so she was looking at me.

“Why not? I just want to make up for the way I acted yesterday. I don’t know why I acted the way I did, but I overreacted and I thought you were in trouble” I said looking at her. My hand was still holding her arm and her eyes got wide as she looked at me terrified. She jerked her arm back from me and let me have it.

April’s POV:

Steven grabbed my arm swinging me around to look at him. The sudden movement scared me, reminding me of that night. Tears threatened my eyes as he apologized for last night and explained why he acted the way he did. I quickly jerked my arm back from his grip and spat back at him.

“Don’t you ever fucking touch me again. If you should be apologizing to someone it should be Ty not me. And for the dinner thing I don’t know you and I’m not interested in going out with a fucking player.” I said harshly as I stormed off into the girl’s room. What was all that about? He looked like he was sorry and I was really rude towards him. I don’t know him and I had no right to judge him from what I saw on Facebook. I ran into a stall and cried realizing how fragile I’ve been since the incident, how scared I can get. I walked out as the bell rung right after washing my face and fixing myself up.
My second class went by really slow. I had to find Steven and apologize for the way I behaved towards him. At lunch instead of meeting up with Riley like I normally do, I looked around for those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes. After looking around for a while I saw him talking to a few of the football players. I slowly approached him and tapped his shoulder.

“Hey can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked not looking him in the eye. He excused himself from his little group and walked to the side with me with a confused look on his face.

“I’m really sorry for the way I acted towards you earlier. I shouldn’t have said what I did…I had no right.” I said looking down not wanting to meet his gaze.

“Don’t worry about it, you acted out, I don’t blame you” he said looking at me. I looked at him and gave him a weak smile.

“Well I’m going to go find Riley, I’ll see you later” I said as I walked away looking to see my best friend already pigging out on a burger and fries. I grabbed a yogurt and sat down next to her.

“What’s poppin lockin?” she said with a mouthful of food.

“Uhm who says that nowadays?” I said looking at her weird.

“ME! Duh!!” she said making me smile. We sat there for the rest of the time talking about random things. As I got up to walk to my next class I saw Steven turn his glance away from me. No matter how much I tried to ignore him and tell myself that I had no interest in him , it didn’t work. I just couldn’t get over the fact of how gorgeous he is. You could honestly get lost into those deep brown eyes. I was snapped out daydreaming when I saw Taylor walking up to him and putting her arm around his neck whispering something into his ear. He looked a little surprised not expecting the sudden attention from someone like that so soon. I gave him a disgusted look and walked down the hall to Spanish.

The rest of the week went by really fast; Steven and I not making any sort of contact. It was a weird first period seeing neither of us said anything to each other and we just awkwardly sat there listening to the lecture. I guess him and Taylor were now dating because she was always all over him. It shouldn’t bother me because they were perfect for each other; both attention seeking whores. But for some reason I couldn’t help but feel a tad bit of jealousy; I couldn’t help the hurt I felt every time I saw them together.

Steven’s POV:

After the day that April apologized to me, I never knew what to say to her so I just decided to keep my distance for now. However, Taylor was all over me acting like we were dating and it was really starting to get annoying. She’d sit on my lap, put her arms around my neck, try holding my hand in the hallways, and try kissing me. I was seriously going to have to do something about her soon.
It was Friday night and I was lying on the couch watching TV when my baby step-sister came running to me telling me to pick her up. Kaylee just turned two a few weeks ago and this girl means the world to me. I picked her up and sat her on my lap as she laid her head on my chest and the both of us fell into a deep sleep.

April’s POV:

It’s a Friday night and I usually go out with Riley and Tyler; but I just wasn’t feeling it today. I laid in bed thinking of all the things I’ve been through in my life. I lost my dad just a few months ago, my mom’s struggling to keep food on our plates, she’s still trying to get over my father’s death; we both are, I can’t stand school because of the things that are said to me by some people, I have these weird feelings for a jerk, and to top it all off I was raped a few weeks ago by a sex offender who may not get the punishment he deserves. Admit it; my life is a living hell.

I turned my music up and started cleaning my room not having anything else to do. I came across my dad’s knife and just stared at it for a few moments. I grabbed it and sat down on the floor curled up in a ball thinking of the first time he showed it to me. Oh how I miss my father. He meant the world to me and now I have no one who will actually protect me; no one can care for me as much as my dad did.

While the tears were falling down my face and I was lost in deep thought about my life, I did something I wasn’t planning on doing. I took the knife and made a deep cut across my wrist, not deep enough to kill me, but deep enough to bleed. I then realized that physical pain is so much better than emotional pain. I’d rather go through cuts across my wrist then feel the pain of my damaged soul. I slowly made another cut right above the first one and let the physical pain take over my emotional one. I sat there scraping the knife barely across my skin and then digging it in.

When I heard the front door of my house open I ran into my bathroom and rinsed it off with cold water, cleaning the knife and the blood. I washed my face and put on a hoodie to cover up the evidence.

“Honey I’m home!” my mom yelled from the bottom of the stairs. I ran down the stairs and saw her getting dinner ready on the table.

“I drove all the way across town to your favorite Japanese restaurant just for you” she said just as I was about to tell her I wasn’t really hungry. We both sat down on the breakfast bar and ate in comfortable silence. After dinner I went back upstairs and laid down; once again crying myself to sleep.

I was in a dark place, some place I’ve never seen before. I looked down and I was tied to a chair. I struggled to get out but it was tied too tight. I looked up to the figure walking closer to me. As his face hit the light I realized it was the same guy; it was him. I screamed out for help but no one came to my rescue. I cried telling him to let me go but he didn’t listen. He came closer to me and slapped me across the face harder than ever.

“I told you to keep your fucking mouth shut didn’t I?!” he said screaming in my face. I was terrified; wanting to get away from this horrible man. He grabbed my throat chocking me and untied me. As I tried running away he grabbed me and threw me against the bed frame. He tied my hands once again and stripped me till I had nothing on. He took out a knife from his pocket and scraped it over my stomach leaving scratches until he put pressure on it and then he…

I woke up screaming in pain. It all felt so real, I felt as if he was really hurting me, as if that knife really dug into my stomach. I crawled up in my bed holding my stomach crying out in pain that didn’t exist. I wanted all this to end; I wanted this pain to go away. I couldn’t take the torture anymore; I hated feeling so useless, hated knowing that no one was there to protect me, most of all hating that I couldn’t protect myself. My mom soon came into my room observing my features. She turned on the bedside lamp and took me into her arms once again. I once again fell asleep in my mom’s lab as she caressed my back.

I woke up the next day feeling like total crap. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought to myself; why do I even try? What’s the point in life? Before I knew it I took my iPod and walked outside and starting jogging towards the boardwalk. I ran all the way to the pier; till I was out of breath. I was leaning against the railing staring down at the water right when I had the sudden urge to jump. And that’s what I did; I jumped.

Steven’s POV:

I woke up the next day feeling refreshed. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a while. As I got dressed for the day I had this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don’t know what it was but I knew that it wasn’t good.

Today I was thinking of going on a walk around the boardwalk. I haven’t really got to know this city since I moved here; plus I miss the beach.

I walked out of my house with headphones on and jogging my way towards the beach. I heard people say that Atlantic City, NJ has one of the best boardwalks in the world and now I know why. This is amazing. There are so many uniquely shaped casinos and the perfect view of the ocean. I reached the Taj Mahal casino and I think it was the best thing I’ve seen yet. You can tell that there was a lot of hard work put into this when first built.

I walked into the pier and saw so many people enjoying themselves on the rides and playing games. I’ll have to come back here someday with someone. I walked to the end of the pier and saw a girl leaning over the edge looking down at the water. She turned back once and then jumped. Oh shit. That’s April!