The Departed

Ansley put the finishing touches on her makeup before admiring her appearance in the full length mirror, expertly placed on the back of her bedroom door. She was wearing a tighter fitting black band tee with a pair of tight fitting bell bottom jeans, the outfit pulling together with her favorite, beat-up Vans. Her style was her own. She knew what other girls would be dressed like at this party but then again, she was never one to follow a crowd.

Settling for curling her long locks for a change and applying only a little make-up, she gave herself once-over before deeming herself ready. She grabbed her jacket and went to leave, but not before yelling commands and a warning back up to Mira.

It was times like these she was thankful most of the town's big parties were held a mere twenty yards from her house, since Kellam was big on throwing parties. Brushing the thoughts aside, she let the sound of repetitive pop music lead her towards the party.

Arriving fashionably late had become part of her day-to-day routine, but this time it was on purpose. Mostly to make Kellam sweat for making her come. A huge bonfire made its way into her view, the large flames licking at the sky and teasing the people that stood around it.

The party was huge and over-populated, drunk teenagers roaming everywhere and shouting crude things in some attempt to be the "life of the party". It was pathetic all-in-all, but what high-school party wasn't? Why over-think it?

She shrugged inwardly, slightly amused to finally see Kellam on the other end of the fire being entertained by a brunette with skimpy attire and too much make-up. The girl was unrecognizable, so Ansley assumed she was from the local private school fifteen minutes away.

Walking straight up to the two, she observed that he was staring in disbelief as the young girl stumbled drunkenly around in her heels. He was seated in a lawn chair, an uncomfortable expression painting his face, so Ansley took it upon herself to save the girl from further embarrassment and took a seat right on his lap. Kellam mumbled his displeasure quietly as he adjusted his position to a more comfortable one but did nothing to make her move. The girl looked enraged as Ansley carelessly took the plastic red cup from his hand and began to drink from it, all the while Kellam still not doing anything but looking more and more entertained by the second. The girl stared at with a scowl before huffing and stumbling away.

Ansley began to snicker in triumph as Kellam returned the young girl's own disapproving look to her. But he couldn't hold it long before his signature smirk crept its way back onto his face.

"You just couldn't let me have a little bit of fun, could you?"

"What fun would that be for me? You made me come here; you're going to cater to me. Now," She extended her hand to him. "Get me another drink, slave!"

Chuckling, Kellam dumped her on the ground before bending down and removing the emptied and now broken cup from her hand.

"Anything for you, darling." He sent her a sickeningly sweet smile and she returned the sarcastic gesture with a fond eye-roll as he walked towards the keg a few feet away. As she began to brush herself off, the hairs on the back of her neck stood at attention. She turned and her eyes immediately clashed with a pair of dark brown ones. Daren Tyler, the goalie for their school's state champion soccer team, a huge jerk, and also, as Kellam liked to remind her, her first boyfriend.

His eyes roamed her body and he licked his lips. She snorted at his forwardness. He would never change.

Slowly, he began approaching her, never once breaking eye contact. The agitated girl hoped her expression displayed the revulsion she felt towards him, but it was apparent that she was doing a poor job seeing as he continued to approach.

When she felt a presence behind her, she knew who it was and she knew what he would be doing without even turning around. Suddenly, his arms were around her waist and their hands intertwined holding a single red cup. The one she had sent him after. Daren smirked, shaking his head slightly.

Seeing as she had her bodyguard protecting her, he rerouted his course and simply brushed past the two setting his sights now on the keg Kellam had just come from. Feeling relieved, she rested her head back on Kellam's chest and his arms instinctively tightened around her.

"What would I do without you?" His laugh reverberated through his body to hers causing her to shake with him. He rested his chin on top of her head after planting a soft kiss on that very spot.

"Honestly? I have no idea. Now that that is over with, are you ready to party, my friend?" He turned her around quickly, eyeing her mischievously.

"No, not really but as they say, when in Rome." She trailed off but couldn't hide the smile when Kellam began to sashay his hips and she realized that he was much to good at it.

From that point on, the party was in full swing for the both of them. Ansley sipped on her beverage all night and even played a few drinking games with Kellam, but eventually they split. She had seen him wander off with a very intoxicated blonde earlier, and she couldn't be bothered to go searching. So, she sat on the sidelines, calming down as she watched other party goers still dancing and talking.

This was yet another place the kids from the town could go and be accepted. At parties, it didn't matter. They were all the same, teenagers just trying to make the most of life. She saw the everyone: populars, the private school snobs, the 'emo' kids, the hippies, the drifters, the druggies, any type of person. You name it. That didn't matter.

Noticing that she was running low on her drink of choice, which may or may not have just been alcohol in general, she wandered over to where a rather large group of kids had gathered around a keg. They were all cheering as a guy named Joshua was placing his hands on the edges of the keg as two very muscular boys lifted his legs high into the air. Joshua was in all advanced classes and had taken advantage of every class that their school and local community college would offer. She had gotten to know him pretty well, seeing as they had attended the same school ever since middle school.

When the two lacrosse jocks lowered him down, he held up his hands in a manner that accepted the praise before his eyes found her own amused ones amongst the crowd of people. He rushed over and grabbed her wrist with his small bony hand and pulled her into the middle of the small crowd.

"Let's hear it for the one and only Ansley Porter!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. The crowd burst into cheers and the alcohol she had already consumed impaired her judgement so she sat her cup on the ground and stood in between the two jocks and placed her hands on either side of the large container, gripping the edges tightly. They lifted her legs high above her head until she was almost all the way upside down and Joshua held the tap at her mouth.

Once she was placed back on her feet, the cheers were resounding once again and she felt a little light headed but nonetheless smiled. She was never one to turn down a healthy amount of praise. Squeezing back through the crowd and finding her way back to the lawn chair she had sat at previously, she seated herself with knees pulled to her chest and her head back, staring at the stars. Up until she heard the crack of twigs alerting her that someone was in front of her.

"When did you turn into so much fun, Ans?" His voice was like nails on a chalk board. She gritted her teeth and raised her head to look at him.

"What do you want, Daren?" She questioned nonchalantly, her tone bored.

His hands raised in mock surrender before he handed her a can of beer. "Just here to talk, babe. No need to get defensive." Ansley crossed her arms, a noise sounding a lot like a growl coming deep from within her throat. "Oh, come on! It's not like you're going to die. It's just one innocent conversation."

Daren was anything but innocent. In fact, just saying the word in a sentence with his name felt wrong. She knew if there was one thing he loved, it was starting trouble, but nonetheless, she let him take the seat to the right of her and scooted as far as she could away from said boy.

"I'll give you one thing; your boyfriend can sure throw one hell of a party."

"He's not my boyfriend." She retorted all too quickly and defensive, whilst cracking open her beverage and taking a big gulp.

"Sure, sure."

They had been over this a thousand times but his tone was just as disbelieving and mocking as it has always been.

"He's not. But I'll tell you what he is. He's a great friend, and honestly, I'd be lucky to have him as my boyfriend. You know why? Because he treats me better as a friend than you ever did as a boyfriend."

Her words were harsh but he didn't even flinch. Daren simply shrugged his shoulders in a simple manner, nodding his head slightly.

"I was a horrible boyfriend."

"Yes, you were." She agreed pointedly, taking another large pull from the can.

"But you weren't a very good girlfriend either."

"Oh please, I was infatuated with you, treating you like a king and such. I did everything you asked of me. Don't tell me that you are blaming your cheating on me now?" Her voice gaining a slightly rougher edge, she allowed herself to frown and let her cool facade drop.

"Not entirely. You didn't do everything I asked." He stopped and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. She punched him in the arm.

"You are as much, if not more, of a pig than you were back then."

"And you are as much of a tease."

"I am not!"

"Then sleep with me." He said casually, as if he was asking Ansley to go on a walk with him.

"Absolutely not!" Her face began to heat up. Whether it was from anger or embarrassment, it was hard to tell. Maybe a touch of both.

"See, tease."

"I am not a tease. I am not wasting my first time on you." She seemed to register what she had just said when his expression was taken aback. Then he began to laugh. "That isn't funny." Her face turned a darker shade of red, almost crimson.

"No, it's not." He said in between breaths. "I just thought you had to have given it up to pretty boy Jay or maybe even Kellam."

"No, and I am not 'giving it up' to you either so just leave it alone!" He stood up slowly and turned back towards her.

"You're such a bitter prude, Ans. But-" He said dragging the word out as a smirk crept its way onto his face. "I heard someone's sister is here. In fact, I think might've saw her arrive just shortly after you. You think Mira might be down for some fun? She has turned into quite the looker." He trailed off whilst tapping his chin as if in deep thought. She didn't think Mirabel would disobey her direct orders to not come to this party but she didn't want to take any chances. Ansley stood up, getting right in Daren's face.

"You are two years older than me, Daren. Do you seriously have nothing better to do than prey on young girls? Stay away from my sister! Understand?" The malice in her voice was clear but as she stormed off, his expression remained neutral. Weaving her way in and out of groups of people, she scanned the crowd quickly for her sister. Seeing Jay and Cassandra cuddling a few feet away, she took a deep breath and marched straight up to them. She was greeted with warm but wary smiles.

"Have you guys seen Mira? It's important."

"Mira?" Cassy questioned, confused. "I thought she was suppose to be at home?"

Ansley sent her a look, and that was the end of that.

"I think I recall seeing some of her friends over that way." Jace spoke up.

"Thank you so much!" She yelled, running off. Spotting a young boy who she had seen hanging around with her sister on several occasions, who's name she thought was John or maybe James, she didn't hesitate to tap on his shoulder, pulling his attention from the group of similar age people to herself.

"Have you seen Mirabel?" The struggle in his eyes was prominent and in the end he settled on a lie, which didn't set right with Ansley. "Listen, I know she's here and it's very important that I find her." He opened his mouth to no doubt lie again but she cut him off. "You know, though, I am feeling quite famished. Maybe I should just give up on finding Mira and walk down to the diner. Your mom should be there preparing for tomorrow right. I know how she loves to cook. Maybe I'll take a late shift; we always have the best conversations when we work. Maybe I'll even bring up the riveting conversation we're having now. I'm sure she would love to know her son I having a great time at the party she allowed him to go to."

John/James thought for a moment more before deciding she had been very serious. Not saying a word, he pointed in the direction she was to go. Flashing him an appreciative smile, Ansley hurried off in the direction she was directed.

It wasn't hard to find Mira, considering the volume of the group. She could distinctly hear Macy and that's when she knew John/James hadn't lied to her. As the group came into view she saw Mira stand up and address the group while brushing herself off.

"I've got to get back before Ansley notices that I'm missing. I'll see you guys later, okay?"

Mira hugged Macy and another girl before hugging the few boys in the group. Ansley backtracked some ways and leaned against a tree, waiting for her sibling. When Mira came out, walking slowly towards their home, Ansley took that as her chance to make herself known.

"Mirabel?" The younger of the two jerked at the sound of her voice. Her hand rested on her thick jacket just over her heart.

"Ans, you scared me." She laughed a bit but her smile faded when she realized she was in trouble. Then at that moment she did what any teenager would do when being caught in the act. She lied. "I was just coming out here to look for you. I thought I heard someone in the house and I wasn't comfortable being alone."

"Oh yes, that's why you were with your friends? You thought they could help you find me, right?" Sarcasm dripped from every word but Mirabel wasn't giving in.

"Yes! That's exactly why I was with them."

Ansley rolled her eyes in frustration and lead the way back to their home.

"Just stop Mira. Don't lie to me."

"I'm sorry, okay? I was just bored and borderline mental when Macy suggested that we come to the party I didn't think it could hurt."

"Didn't think it could hurt? Tell me, who got you the drink that you were sipping on? Did you fill that cup up yourself?"

"Well, no, but Mike got it for me."

"Did someone else fill it for Mike or did you see him?"

"No bu-" She cut herself off, frowning. "No."

They were almost home and Ansley's was converting her worry into anger. They were now walking by the large lake that was a quarter of a mile behind their home. The older of the two stopped and turned towards her sister, looking her in the eyes. She didn't miss the hint of regret in the dark irises but Ansley needed to get it all out of her system before she could let it go.

"Exactly, Mira! It could've been spiked. There are some freaks out there and I don't know half the people at this party. Most probably don't even live in the Valley."

"What about you, huh? I saw Kellam get you a drink. You have no room to talk."

"Kellam skewers any guy who even looks at me wrong. Do you actually think he would hand me a drink that was potentially spiked? I don't think so."

"Well, what if you had been attacked? Kellam's no where to be seen. You would've been screwed."

"I wouldn't have." Ansley pulled out a small black tube from her pocket, PEPPER SPRAY marked on the front in an obnoxious yellow color. "I came prepared."

Mira crossed her arms in defeat. Ansley stopped, sighing, mentally drained from the nights events and ready to be home. Maybe she could snuggle in her large comforter and watch Supernatural reruns. That sounded nice in her drunken state. "I was just worried about you."

"Don't be. I can take care of myself." She stormed passed Ansley,and once again,the older girl breathed out a long sigh which materialized then disappeared as quick as her good mood. She knew her sister hated to be taken care of. She was very independent and hated to be treated like a child, but it needed to be said.

She was deep in thought as she ambled along slowly behind her sister. She heard the crack of ice as her sister passed by the corner of the lake where the rain had caused it to flood that winter but only her subconscious picked it up. Maybe if she had been paying attention she wouldn't have stepped on the already cracked surface. Maybe she wouldn't be struggling for breath in the ice cold liquid as it muffled her screams as it had in her dreams. But that was wishful thinking.

The truth was she was now underneath the ice and living through her worst nightmare. Ansley was disoriented she wasn't sure which way was up or down and she could see nothing as the thick sheet of ice above her shielded the lake from the moon's penetrating rays of light. The alcohol certainly wasn't helping.

The water was cold. No. It was beyond cold; It was frigid. It was a shock to her system. As the icy sensation began to sink deep in her bones Ansley felt like she was being burned. She struggled to swim to the top as she began to lose feeling in her limbs. She couldn't think straight but her body sprung into action. It had one thing in mind, survival. The water was clear but very dark. The icy sheet above her was almost illuminating from the light on the other side. Ansley's eyes began to sting as she felt around searching franticly for the opening in which she had fallen through but even with the small amount of light she could see no hope of salvation.

It didn't matter how many times she lived through the dream. Each time was more terrifying than the last. She could only hope she had fallen asleep on her bed before the party and was going to be woken up by Kellam or her sister any minute now just like so many times before.

This time, though, she saw several shadows on the ice running around franticly. Until one finally stopped right above her. She was slightly relieved seeing this but she wasn't sure if they were the good shadows, shadows of her friends and people trying to help, or the dark ones, the ones that just stopped above her and watched as she drown. Never moving a muscle as she struggled for her life. Her lungs were on fire. And slowly but surely the terrified teen started to lose first her sight, then her hearing, before losing the most important of them all. The sense of feeling.

She remembered swimming in the public pool with Kellam and Mira when they were fourteen and Mirabel was eleven. They would hold their breath, letting out a little air at a time until the fire that ignited in their throats was just too much to handle. Whoever lasted the longest would win, and it was always her.

She remembered the relief that came with the large gulp of air that she would take after surfacing. But as she thought about the relief, the harder she found it to remember what that actually felt like. What breathing even felt like, because right then the burning was the only feeling that she remembered. It consumed her being until she just had to take a breath.

Instead of warm air that took away the burn and wrapping her in its intense relief, her lungs were faced with a flood of an icy cold blaze. She felt the currents flood her body through her nose and mouth but couldn't move to stop it.

She wasn't cold anymore, in fact a warmth consumed her body taking over the burn slowly and a calmness was taking over the fear. The calm she was feeling was a feeling unlike any other. She wasn't worried about school, boys, friends, or parents. She was just there wrapped in her own little bubble of safety and comfort.

In her mind, she knew she was gone but she was okay with that. She had grown up in a religious family and was never scared for her own fate, but the fate of the ones she loved. She worried what would happen to them if she ever came face to face with death at a young age. But it was over and she was aware of that. There was nothing else that could be done and she was no longer scared of death. She had never felt so at peace.

Maybe dying wasn't such a bad thing after all.