The Departed

Ansley was standing next to the lake looking out over the icy surface in the early morning sun. It was beautiful. As the rays of the sun bounced off of the frozen surface, the ice shown like it was composed of millions of tiny diamonds. There was a thick fog that lay near the ground and gave the entire scene a mythical feel to it which Ansley enjoyed quite a bit.

She had never been to the lake this early in the morning. In fact, she didn't even remember how she had gotten there in the first place. Confused, she turned her gaze to her dark house and wrinkled her forehead in an disgruntled manner. Had she slept walked here? She couldn't even remember returning home after the party. She remembered hanging out with Kellam then, then, nothing. She didn't feel sick nor did she feel tired or weak in any way which was strange since she should probably have a killer hangover at this point.

Looking down, she noticed she wearing the same attire from the night before. Ansley was worried, although, she didn't detect any signs of injury. There wasn't even a spot of dirt on her clothes. In this lighting her cloths could be seen quite well and in the white-blue aura that the sun put around her she actually appreciated the beautiful simplicity of such an outfit more than she ever had.

Her body felt light. It almost felt like a dream. A thought came to her mind and a smile broke out onto her face. She was lucid dreaming. It was the only explanation. She looked over the lake and admired the beauty once more. To Ansley, this lake was a refuge. It made sense that this is where her mind would take her.

Ansley began to practically skip home through the woods wondering, if like normal, Kellam would be sprawled lazily across her bed or leaning over the toilet. This made a smile come to her face as she shook her head in disapproval of his carefree demeanor. She reached the house in about ten minutes and was met with a completely empty house. Her brow creased once more in confusion but she knew nothing could be done if no one was around. She walked up the stares checked her room, the attic, and she used the intercom system to check the garage which was her and Mira's own personal art studio. Heaving a heavy sigh she set off in search of her phone. Having no luck, she decided on heading back outside. If this was really a lucid dream then she intended on testing the theories that many people had. When she reached the top of the half-hidden half-visible staircase she heard the front door open.

Light sobs filled the quiet space as she watched her parents walk in through the railings on the stairwell. Her mom was in tears and her dad's exaughsted face showed signs that he too had shed a few of his own but he was trying his best to keep it together. No one said a word until her younger sister entered the house, a stoic look gracing her facial features.

"I am going to shower then head back to the hospital to sit with Kellam. I will take him a change of clothes to. You two should stay and get some rest. I'll just walk." They nodded back to her without speaking a syllable and continued to the kitchen. She walked down the stairs to her bedroom in the basement and Ansley tumbled down the stairs quickly worry consuming her. Forgetting momentarily that this was a dream, all that she could think about was the confirmation of her best friend's well being.

As Ansley practically fell into the kitchen, her eyes wild as she watched the broken expressions of her parents as they silently made coffee. Never speaking a word only providing comfort when the other needed it.

"Mom! What happened? Is Kellam okay?" Her mom continued right passed her joining her father at the kitchen table. "Mom! Dad, what happened? Why isn't Mom speaking? What happened to Kellam? Dad!" Her dad didn't even look her way. Lucid dreams were suppose to be under your control but apparently her mind had other plans.

She stormed from the kitchen and down the stairs and opened the door to her sisters room. She sat on the bed as she waited impatiently for her sister to exit the bathroom. When she came out five minutes later she was dressed in an oversized band tee, which made her seem smaller than she already was, and a pair of bright red skinny jeans. She dried her hair roughly with the towel and then flipped it over pulling the damp strands into a messy bun.

"Mira!" Mirabel jerked upwards and put her hand over her chest.

"Jesus Christ Ans, you scared me." She stopped registering what she had just said. Their eyes collided and her mouth hung limply. "Ansley?" Her eyes filled with tears but the tears were not ones of relief. Rage poured off of her. "Y-You stay away from me. You are not real!"

"Of course I'm real! Your the one who isn't real. You are a figment of my imagination and you are suppose to be telling me what thoughts lie in the deepest parts of my mind. Why am I dreaming that Mom and Dad won't talk to me? Why am I dreaming that Kellam is in the hospital?" She was calm but a tinge of irritation bled into her words. She knew that this state of dreaming was very fragile and she could wake up at any time; she knew she needed answers. To say she was confused would be an understatement. "Now I want answers Mirabel." She paused for a moment taking a breath. Her expression becoming more desperate. Mirabel still looked just as angry.

"God, even my hallucination of you is annoying." She wiped her face angrily and stormed off without another word.

Ansley watched as Mirabel grabbed her things and a pair of Kellam's cloths from the hallway closet before heading upstairs. Following her, they passed their parents, once again Ansley mumbled a few parting words to her parents which was acknowledged with silence. Ansley hung her head in defeat and headed out the door behind Mira and up the drive.

Mirabel walked faster than Ansley had ever seen her walk; she constantly shot dirty looks behind her in her older sister's direction. Ansley picked up her pace until she was walking along side Mira. Mira rolled her eyes in exasperation and stopped quickly.

"What do you want from me. I can not deal with this! Stop following me! It's bad enough I have to see you everyday the way you are. Why must you plague my thoughts as well. You must be my subconscious right? You are here because I am feeling guilt? Jesus, can this get any better?" She asked sarcastically whilst looking to her right. An elderly man with a hunched form, a cane, and small glasses was squinting in their direction from across the street.

"What? You've never seen a girl yell?" She fussed at the old man.

"Mira!" Ansley squeaked out, eyes bulging slightly as she scolded her irritable sibling. The old man and Mira both turned and began to walk in separate directions. Ansley soon began to trail behind her sister silently, trapped in her own thoughts and trying to piece what she had said together. Things just weren't adding up. She craved to ask more questions and get answers, the itching feeling of obliviousness scraping at her skin with each step, but she wouldn't. Mira would only ignore her if she tried, anyways.

By the time Ansley had hopelessly mulled over her options a few hundred times, the hospital was quickly coming into view. Anxiety stirred in her veins; her walking slowed. Her teeth jutted to catch her thumbnail between them, worrying it involuntarily. Stealing a glance to her right, she watched Mirabel run her hands through her hair for the hundredth time in their ten minute walk. Mira was feeling just as antsy as she was, she concluded. It didn't take long before they were barging through the large, hospital doors that opened automatically for them and heading toward an elevator in which Mira pressed the button for the sixth floor, the ICU section was located there if she recalled correctly.

She could feel Mira steeling glances her way as well but she knew she was trying her best to ignore her presence. Ansley felt a tinge of pain in her heart at this action. Sure, they didn't get along very well. Only on occasions did they exchange pleasantries, and that is if they were both in great moods; but never had she felt such a coldness from her.

A small sheen of sweat collected on Ansley's nose as they walked down the all too familiar corridors of the hospital. The hospital was buzzing with energy as doctors and nurses shuffled around completing their given tasks but everyone that passed her seemed to look past her sister and right through her. A few more rights later they had arrived at their destination. Ansley chewed on the inside of her cheek as Mira turned the long metal handle and opened the door slowly after peeking inside.

Ansley followed closely and when she peaked around to see Kellam sitting in a chair beside the patient she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hey Kellam." Mirabel spoke causing him to lift his head from its perched position in his own hands; he turned to face them. Kellam's expression was solemn and he looked too broken to even express himself through tears. Ansley had only ever seen him this way one other time. She longed to reach out and touch him, to comfort him, but he didn't even acknowledge her presence. He was treating her as everyone else had up until this point. This betrayal was like sandpaper on her nerves. She only hoped it was something she could fix.

The dream like feeling never disappeared but there was a nagging thought in the back of her mind. It was like that time she had forgotten her sister at school and in the back of her mind she knew there was something important that she was forgetting but couldn't recall. It was like her subconscious wanted her to remember something, even more important and just trying to remember made her shiver in displeasure.

"Kellam, thank God you are okay. I was so worried." No response. Just as the others. He looked right through her. "Kellam, speak to me!" Ansley begged becoming overwhelmed with all of the secrecy and the lack of attention that she was getting; it was, her dream after all.

The heart rate on the heart rate monitor on the other side of the room picked up slightly for a few moments and Kellam jerked his head quickly becoming alert.

He fawned over the mystery girl that lay in the bed and a hint of anger tugged at her heart. Who was this girl? What did she mean to him? And what happened to her? So many questions plagued her mind and she was beginning to feel more and more overwhelmed by the moment.

Those questions were squashed by the prospect of who could've been laying in that bed. Kellam's sister, Cassandra, someone in her own family possibly?

The loud beeping continued to quicken and Kellam marched past them and to the door.

"I am going to get the doctor."

"Who is that Mira?" She began to voice the questions that consumed her mind but Mirabel simply walked to the opposite side of the bed. Ansley followed, walking slowly until the mystery girl's face was visible.

She jerked her body away from Mirabel and the bed as if she was being lead to her demise. In some ways, she was. Ansley's mouth hung wide open and her left hand now covered her horror struck expression. She could feel her own heart beat and it was in steady rhythm with the monitor. As the speed of her heart increased rapidly so did the sound on the monitor.

No one made a move. Mirabel, entrapped by the scene, was unable to look away although all she wanted to do was to turn around and for the moorage to disappear. She couldn't however, instead she watched her sister closely as she remained frozen in place. After a few moments Ansley walked over to the bed and looked over the girl she once knew. Her skin was ghostly pale and a place on her head had been shaven and bandaged. She reached a gentle hand out and touched the rough gauze and questions of how she had ended up here consumed any other thought that could've been running through her mind. Ansley's eyebrows knitted together as she tried but failed to remember what had happened to her. She stroked the girls white-blond hair until she came to the face that mirrored her own.

She looked peaceful but the rapid beeping on the heart monitor said otherwise. She picked her hand up to place it on her cheek when the door burst open. Ansley jumped back and held her own hand as she watched Kellam emerge with a tall man, who's thinning hair and attire suggested that he was indeed the doctor that Kellam went to find.

"What's wrong with her?" Kellam asked, his tone impatient.

"I am going to have to ask you two to wait outside." But before they could object there were nurses pushing them into the hallway in a hurry. Ansley was the first out, needing to get out, feeling as if the walls were closing in on her. The short, plump, grumpy looking nurse slammed the door in Kellam's face. He breathed out a tired breath and leaned against the wall with his hands covering his face. Ansley saw a tear come from underneath his hands so she walked over and stood right in front of him. Standing on her toes, she gently placed her hand on his broad shoulder and kissed his jaw where the tear rested. Jerking a bit, he took his hands off his face and wiped the tears of frustration away.

"What's been happening?" Mirabel questioned quietly.

"Her heart rate has been doing this weird thing for the past hour or so. They aren't sure what's happening." Just by looking at Kellam, Ansley could tell there was more.

"He isn't telling you everything." She spoke to Mira, determined to fish out the truth even if she couldn't do it herself. Mirabel grimaced at the sound of her sister's voice. She was hoping she had disappeared by now. Her subconscious was really working on her last nerve but she decided to listen to her since it was, after all, her own thoughts.

"What else aren't you telling me?" He paused looking at Mirabel curiously before he looked away. His eyes followed a new mother who was taking her child out for a walk around the hospital.

"Sometimes you remind me so much of her, you know that?" He paused and Mirabel was quiet, not knowing what else to say. He huffed realizing she wasn't going to drop it. "They aren't sure if she will make it through the night with the stress these attacks are putting on her heart." He stopped, choking a bit on the last word. "I told them that I was her brother and that I would tell your parents but I can't bare to. They don't look as if they can handle anymore. I didn't want to tell you either but I never could hide anything from Ans." He spoke with a humorless chuckle. "I guess the same is true for you as well." Sinking down the wall Mira soon followed suit as Ansley stood watching the two interact. A flood of emotions coursed through her. She didn't know what she was feeling. Overwhelmed would be best word. She wanted to be there to comfort him as Mira was doing but he was upset because of her.

"I am here, Kell. Tell him Mira! Mira!" Mirabel looked at her and with a quick shake of her head before she put her focus back on Kellam. Turning her back from the two, Ansley stormed off down the hallway trying to get away from herself but no matter how far she got the situation just seemed to weigh more heavily on her. She stopped tears coming to her eyes as she finally realized that she was dying and no one could see her; with the exception of Mirabel; who thought she wasn't real. A single tear slipped past the barricades she had placed for herself but just then a small crashing sound interrupted her pity party.

She came to a room with an open door and as curiosity overtook her, she peered in. A young boy about the age of four or five sat playing with a racecar alone in a children's play room. His head was bald and he wore a small robe. Her heart reached out to this boy and soon she gravitated towards him.

Feeling her presence the boy turned and when his big brown eyes met hers, the coldness that began to surround her heart melted away.

"Hi!" He chirped happily.

"You can see me?" She asked in disbelief.

"Yes." He said simply whilst rolling the small red sports car in her direction. He stopped for a moment and extended his left hand which held a equally as small blue truck. She accepted the offering and sat in the floor beside him.

"My name is Brice. What is your name?"

"Ansley."

"Ansthley?" He spoke with a slight lisp and it brought a small smile to Ansley's face. "That's a weird name." He stated bluntly. She laughed at his truthfulness.

"Yeah, I guess it is." He jumped the car over a pile of blocks and made a noise when it landed safely. "What do you think my name should be?" He looked up curiously this time. Getting a better view of his face she saw that all of his features, nose, ears, lips, were very small and they provided a nice contrast with his large bright eyes. His eyebrows were dark which lead her to believe that his hair was either a dark brown or black. He was one of the most perfect children she had ever seen and it broke her heart to think that he was stuck in a place like this instead of being with other children his age, playing and making memories.

He paused only for a second more before decision filled his eyes. Looking back to her, he smiled brightly.

"Jane." The name was plain yet nothing so simple had ever held so much beauty in her eyes. Up until this point nothing in her life had been simple and the simplicity of the situation was enough to bring tears to her eyes. He did not wait for approval before going back and playing with his toy car. Driving the blue truck in his general direction she crashed it into his. At first his expression was bored but when he looked up to her once more the beautiful white smile entrapped her.

For hours they sat talking, giggling, and playing and for that moment in time Ansley was completely at peace. She had forgotten that her body lay idle on the other end of the hospital. She had forgotten the technically she was dead. She did not want to return but when the nurses entered the room she knew that her fleeting moment of happiness would quickly dissipate.

"Honey, are you ready for your session?" The beautiful woman that had enter the room behind the nurses spoke up. It was no doubt who the young boy, in which she had befriended in the past hours, had gotten his Latino features from. Flicking her hair behind her shoulder, she bent down and extended her hands forward to pick up the young boy. The boy looked at the woman lovingly and ran up to her, jumping into her arms.

"Mommy, this is Jane. She has been playing cars with me." Ansley tried to quiet Brice by placing her pointer finger at her lips but it was already too late. Her eyebrows came together as she searched the room curiously for a girl named Jane but when she came up empty she switched her curious look to Brice.

"Brice, Honey, I don't see anyone." Brice took it as any child would, he giggled and pointed in Ansley's direction.

"She's right there." He giggled once more as if they were playing a game.

"Is Jane your imaginary friend?" His expression was serious now as he shook his head furiously.

"She is real." Worry passed through his mother's eyes as she held him that much tighter. She didn't believe him, but who would?

"Okay, Sweetie, say goodbye to Jane. We don't want to keep Doctor Stanley waiting." He perked back up and waved a small hand at Ansley as his mother carried him away.

"Bye Jane!" She waved her free hand at him until he disappeared. Looking down at her hands in her lap, she fiddled with the small car; a ghost of a smile still visible on her lips. Standing up, she knew she had to return to reality. She made her way through the hallways and before she knew it she stood in front of the door that was in the way of her finding out the truth.

Curiosity ate away at her as she peered through the small window at Kellam's hunched form. She wanted to open the door without alerting him but she knew that wasn't possible. As she pressed her hands to the wood, she could feel the solid grainy matter but as she concentrated and pressed a bit harder her hand went inside of the piece of wood. Her mouth lay agape but she continued all the way through.

The feeling of passing through a solid object was unusual. It reminded her greatly of swimming and being completely submerged and surrounded by the water. Forcing her way through the clear matter was much like forcing herself through the door. It wasn't soft or painful. It was actually slightly uncomfortable. It was a violating feeling; feeling as if she was actually apart of the wood itself.

She now stood on the opposite end of the room, after having walked through a solid object, staring at Kellam as he hovered over her almost-lifeless body.

What now?