A Far Cry From Innocence.

Brian slowly shook his head, more to himself than to me. Finally he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, petting my hair. "I'll tell you if you tell me what happened." It wasn't a question.

I nodded, taking a shaky breath. I couldn't remember anything and that scared me, I had never been that drunk before. I was scared of the answer but I had a feeling I knew what it was, to have Roni get so mad and Zacky to feel so bad... I just hoped I was wrong.

Brian sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I could tell he didn't want to tell me, but I knew he would do it. He looked at me apologetically and shook his head, "Jimmy said he dared to to kiss Zacky. Zacky tried to protest and said you didn't have to, but you did it anyway."

Okay, it wasn't quite as bad as I had thought... But it wasn't far off. I sighed, feeling my stomach twist and flip-flop, and I put my head in my hands. Now Roni's freak out made a little more sense, though it didn't make it any less crazy. I couldn't believe I had done that.

"Uhm. Jimmy said you did it happily, without even a hint of dislike about even being dared to do it. He said you had drank a lot, but... I know you. Even when you're drunk, you wouldn't do anything you wouldn't do sober." He was quiet for a minute, probably thinking, but I didn't have the courage to look at him. I didn't even want to look at myself. "Avi... What's going on?"

I couldn't even begin to come up with an explanation for that, it confused even me. Maybe it was because I had never been that drunk before, maybe it was because I didn't like Roni... I groaned as the muscles in my stomach tightened, threatening to toss whatever was left. I wanted to cry, this was unbearable... The confusion, the anxiety, the hangover... It was all too much to be dealing with at once.

It wasn't long before it was time to hold up my end of the bargain. My brother moved my hands and ducked down to look at my face. "Avigaiel, what happened? Please?"

I looked at him, his big brown eyes begging me to shed some light on the current mysteries. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I stumbled over words, trying to figured things out and decide if I wanted to tell him. If I told him Roni was a crazy bitch, would be believe me? Would he treat her like the bullies I had dealt with growing up?

"Yo, guys, come on! We gotta get moving and we can't without you two!" Johnny hollered out at us, waving. He stopped and stared for a minute, curious.

He sighed in defeat and pat the back of my head. "You can tell me later." He looked at me, searching my eyes, and he nodded. Standing up, he looked at Johnny. "Alright, midget, we're coming! Fuck." He looked at me again, walking to the bus when I waved him off.

I needed a minute to collect myself, to clear my mind enough to go back to the bus and face that lunatic. I took a deep breathe and sighed, forcing myself to stand up. My stomach flip-flopped again as I headed for the bus and I hoped I would make it to the bathroom. I pushed my way through everyone and into the bathroom as Zacky was brushing his teeth, barley making it to the toilet as I threw up acidic stomach bile.

The sound of Zacky brush his teeth stopped for a second. "Oh, wow, Avigiael. Very attractive. Just irresistible," he teased sarcastically, his toothbrush making it sound a little funny. He continued brushing his teeth.

I flushed and grabbed the roll of toilet paper, ripping off a few squares to wipe my face. I looked at him and rolled my eyes, tossing the toilet paper in the trash. I stood up and nudged him out of the way with my hip, grabbing my toothbrush and travel tube of toothpaste off the sink. I heard him snicker and it made me smile ever so slightly. I started brushing my teeth, hoping to rid myself of the sour taste, but wondering how long the minty fresh breath would last.

It was quiet, an awkward silence as we brushed our teeth. He put his hand on my hip and leaned around me to spit in the sink. As he went to stand up, he came inches from my face and froze. I could feel his warm breath, smell the cool mint. Our eyes met and I turned, putting my hand over my mouth. I spat the toothpaste into the sink and rinsed my face off. When I stood back up, Zacky hadn't moved. "Avigaiel, I-"

I put my hand over his mouth and shook my head. "Zacky... No. There's a reason Roni is here, and it's you." The look in his eyes went from pleading to defeated. He nodded slowly and I went to move my hand before he snatched it between his teeth. I half smiled and yelped, laughing lightly; that made him smile and clamp down a little heard, snarling playfully. I lightly flicked him on the nose and giggled when his scrunched his face up and released my hand.

"What was that for?" He pouted.

I shrugged and crossed my arms, "I dunno, isn't that how you're supposed to scold a dog?" I smirked and pushed past him to go out of the tiny bathroom. I squealed as I was suddenly lifted from the ground and thrown over his shoulder and he walked into the lounge, shutting the door that divided it from the rest of the bus. "Zacky, put me down," I squealed, pounding lightly on his back.

He dropped me on the couch and sat down beside me, looking at me. "Avigaiel, I need to talk to you..." He awkwardly looked down at his hands as he wrung them. His fidgeting didn't seem like a very good sign and I wasn't sure I wanted to have whatever discussion he needed.

With a sigh, I crossed my legs and turned to face him. "Alright, Zachery, what's up?" I already had a feeling that he was going to bring up what had happened last night. Maybe I could get some answers out of him, answers that could help me figure things out.

He leaned forward, propping him elbows up on his knees. He seemed to be thinking for a minute as he chewed on his lip rings. "Last night you, uh... You..." He swallowed hard, trying to get the words out.

"Zacky. I know. Well, I know that Jimmy dared me to kiss you and I did."

He sighed, a little relief touching his face though it was barely enough to lift a shadow from his worried expression. He reached around to scratch his shoulder blade, apparently having to rethink what he was going to say. "Do you really not remember it?" He looked at me, searching my eyes.

I thought hard about it, recalling short moments. Dancing with Johnny, getting my nails done by Val, passing a joint. I thought harder, really trying to remember for Zacky's sake since I wouldn't be able to stand his hurt face at my expense again. I thought and thought, and it was like the flood gate had opened for that short minute. The memory was vivid, like it had just happened just moments ago, and I looked at him as I realized something...

I loved Zachery Baker. My brother's best friend, a man that had been in my life and looked out for me for years; I loved him and I had never realized it before.