A Far Cry From Innocence.

It was the first day back from the tour and I was sitting alone in the living room my brother was out enjoying some time to himself. The last two weeks had been a lot less stressful, though Zacky seemed to avoid me just as much as he had before Roni had left. It hurt, but I guess I deserved it. As long as she was gone, I had no complaints.

I looked at the clock on my phone and tapped my fingers impatiently. I was waiting for Nathan to come over so I could finally talk to him, and tell him what had happened while I was gone. I sighed and rubbed my face, not looking forward to how he might react. I knew I deserved for him to mad at me for what I had done, and I knew he would be, but it was scary nonetheless. I stood up and walked out to the front porch, sitting on the step and pulling out my carton of cigarettes. I had just taken the first drag when Nathan's motorcycle pulled up in front of the house.

He pulled off his helmet and waved at me happily before walking over. "Hey baby!" He sat down beside me and kissed the top of my head. His smile faded at the worry I'm sure was written all over my face. "Are you okay?"

I sucked hard on the cigarette, nearly choking on how bad it burned my throat and lungs. I exhaled sharply and scratched my head, "Yeah, I guess so." I eyed him cautiously.

He nodded, obviously not believing me but not wanting to push the subject. He ran a hand through is black hair and sighed. "So, how was the tour? Did you have fun?"

I shut my eyes for a brief second at the tone in his voice. He wasn't very happy. I nodded with a shrug, staring at the burning end of the cigarette. "It was pretty good, I guess. There was this stupid psycho that Zacky brought on. We hated each other and I'm glad I never have to see her again." I rolled my eyes and took another drag, shaking my head.

"Sounds cool, except for the psycho. How was she a psycho?"

I rolled my eyes again and rolled my head to look at him. "She threatened me. She acted sweet and innocent around everyone but, once it was just her and I, she was a raving lunatic." I stared straight ahead again.

He smirked and chuckled quietly, shaking his head. I pushed him playfully, rolling my eyes and stifling a laugh of my own. It was quiet and awkward for a minute before he cleared his throat. "So, is that why you stopped talking to me?" he asked quietly.

A knot formed in my throat and I took a drag. I turned to look at him , blowing the smoke out my nose, and I sighed. It was now or never, and he did deserve to know. I tossed the cigarette in the ash tray, despite it being barely half gone, and I stood up. "Let's go inside..." He rose to his feet and we walked into the house, sitting in the living room. I rubbed the back of my neck and sighed. "She isn't why I stopped calling and texting you. Something... happened... while I was gone." He looked at me, his expression guarded, and I looked down at my hands. "I was hanging out with the guys after a gig one night and I got really drunk. I guess we were play Truth Or Dare or something and... Jimmy dared me to kiss Zacky." I peeked up at him.

His jaw line was tense and his nostrils flared. "Did you?" he asked through grit teeth, staring me down.

I bit my lip and nodded hesitantly. "Yeah... Zacky said I didn't have to, but... I did." I shut my eyes tightly and shook my head. "But I didn't remember until the next day. I can't remember anything else from that night. And I told Zacky that we're just friends and it was a mistake!"

Nate stared at me and I could see the fury in his eyes. He stood up and paced, running a hand through his hair. I watched him cautiously, not daring to say anything else until he spoke to me. "Do you regret it?" he finally asked, barely pausing a beat.

I swallowed hard and stared at him. I hadn't really thought about that... But I felt no regret about the situation, I only felt scared of Roni and sad about lying to Zacky. Nathan looked at me and I hung my head, shaking it.

His breathing became harsh and he paced, stopping by the wall and punching it, "Fuck!" He hissed and pulled back his arm, holding his hand. He turned and looked at me, glaring coldly. "I should've known I couldn't trust you on tour, but I never thought it would be a tour that wasn't for your band. This time, you were the fucking groupie," he spat, stabbing a finger in my direction.

I stood up and walked toward him, tears streaming down my face at the insult. "Nathan, you can trust me! It was just -"

"A drunk mistake, I get it. But that's no excuse, Avigaiel! You cheated on me!" His voice was harsh and I could see the clear fury, but the tears in his eyes were a dead giveaway of his hurt. "You whore," he breathed, turning to look away from me.

I calmed myself enough to talk, my emotions boiling over and confusing me. "Nathan, you can't dump me the come back like nothing's changed! You never asked me to be your girlfriend again, you just expected everything to go back to the way it was before," I choked back a couple sobs that made my voice crack. I looked at him as he continued to avoid looking at me, and his breathing was wracked as he tried to keep from crying. "I can't cheat on you if we weren't together." I walked over to the front door and opened it, "Now get out of my house."

He snapped his head over to look at me, his mouth gaping. He glared and walked out the door. "Fuck you, Avigaiel," he barked, getting on his motorcycle and revving it before speeding off.

I slammed the door and collapsed on the floor, curling up into a ball and letting the sobs loose.