A Far Cry From Innocence.

As I neared the bar, I found myself getting nervous. I wasn't sure what state Brian would be in when I picked him up. I didn't think he'd be angry but I really wasn't sure I wanted to have him wailing and crying over the face that I had left Casa del Syn. I didn't know how long I'd be gone and him whining about it would just make me want to be away from him that much longer.

I pulled into the empty parking lot and groaned, rubbing my temples. I didn't want to find out what madness awaited me, what mess Brian had made that I would have to clean up. It was too typical for him to walk through a room and leave it like a tornado had ripped through it, then I would come walking along behind him to clean up the mess.

Finally, after some mental preparation, I opened the car door and slid out. It was pretty quiet, no one on the roads. Of course, how many sane people were out at 3:30am on a Thursday night? Or Friday morning? Whatever... I walked up to the doors and pulled on them, finding them locked. I sighed I walked around to the back, finding the door open so I walked in. "Hello?"

I heard my brother's wailing, then what sounded like a little bit of a struggle before what was the definite sound of someone falling on the ground. As I walked toward the bar, I sighed and heard my brother complaining. I walked in and looked at Johnny as he pulled Brian up to his feet. "Hey, Johnny."

He looked up at me quickly and smiled in a relief. "Hey Avigaiel." Brian swayed, holding onto him for balance. Johnny sighed and shook his head, "I don't know what you two are fighting about but it's obviously got him in a bad place. You two need to talk."

I nodded, casting my eyes downward as I felt a little ashamed. I don't know how Johnny was able to take on such a fatherly-tone and make me feel bad about what I had done. It wasn't even like I'd done anything wrong, it was just Brian taking it badly. I sighed and looked back up at Johnny. "Thanks for baby-sitting my big brother for a while. Sorry for him being an inconvenience or anything he may've broken."

He waved his hand to excuse it. He smiled politely and reached out to ruffle my hair. "Hey, kid, you know you guys are like family. Don't worry about it. Just make sure you talk to him," he said, poking the top of Brian's head.

Brian glared and pouted, running his hand through his hair to fix it, as if Johnny's simple gesture had completely ruined his hair. I noticed that his hair was in pretty unsightly disarray, considering this was Synyster Gates. He looked at my and frowned sadly, tilting his head to one side. "Are you still mad at me?"

I ran a hand through my hair and averted my eyes from his, not really wanting him to have another sobfest like he'd had over the phone. I sighed and reached out for him, "Come on, let's go home." He stumbled over to me, leaning the majority of his weight on me to stay balanced. "Say thank you to Johnny for taking care of you until I got here."

"Thank you, Johnny." He looked down at me and smiled proudly, like a child expecting praise from a parents for doing something good. He wrapped his arms around me in a burly, clumsy hug.

I half smiled at Johnny and gave him a wave before heading back out the back door. The pace was slow and I felt more like I was dragging my brother than leading him. He stumbled and swayed, nearly bring us both to the ground more than once before we were even to the car.When we finally made it to my Jeep, he stopped and looked like he was about to hurl. I made sure he had a good grip on the car before I leapt back in panic, barely putting enough distance before he did just what I expected. He groaned and rubbed his arm over his mouth. He looked up at me pathetically and averted his eyes, mumbling an apology before getting into the car.

I looked at the messy puddle and tried not to roll my eyes, knowing this would be left for Johnny to clean up before he left. I walked over to the driver's door and climbed in, putting the key in the ignition. I looked over at my brother as he stared intensely at the dashboard. What could he possibly be thinking that took so much concentration? I figured anything was possible when you considered how drunk he was. I started the car and pulled off, feeling more tired than I had felt all night.

After a few minutes of silence, I looked back at Brian. He was still staring at the dashboard, and it didn't look like he had moved an inch. "Hey, quit thinking so hard. You're smoking up my car," I teased, mostly to get him out of such deep thought since it was kinda weird.

He looked at me like I was crazy then he looked down at his hands. He sighed and sat back, closing his eyes and groaning. He rolled his head to one side, looking out the window. His groaning was an obvious sign that he wanted to talk but his looking out the window contradicted that. It was probably only a matter of time before he let his thoughts loose.

I pulled the Jeep up to the curb in front of the house and sat, back, pulling the key from the ignition. I played with the old charms on their key chains. A devil teddy bear whose pitchfork had gone missing, a glow-in-the-dark giraffe with purple hair, one of Syn's guitar picks. I looked up and opened my door, sliding out of the seat. I couldn't wait to get inside and go to my bed and just crash, even if I did have school in a couple hours. I reached up and touched the bump on my head and wondered if I could call off and just sleep for a while instead.

I opened the passenger seat for Brian and helped him out, making sure he didn't trip over the curb and do a face plant into the lawn. We stumbled up to the door and I unlocked it, him insisting he could walk by himself and not doing a half bad job at it. Well, he wasn't doing bad until he got to the stairs. He looked down at them for a long time then turned his head to look at me. He pouted then looked between the stairs and me. Finally he closed his head and let his head fall back, whining, "Avi, help me!"

I laughed and shook my head, rolling my eyes. I walked over and put his arm around my shoulders. "Take it slow. If you fall, I fall, and we both die." We took the stairs one at a time until we got to top, then I helped him into his room. "You gonna be okay from here?" I watched as he nodded and turn on the light as he began to fiddle with his clothes, trying to take them off.

"Avi, will you sleep in here tonight?" He looked at me after he pulled off his shirt. His eyes were pleading and he pouted to make it look even more pathetic. "I don't wanna be alone." He looked down sadly, his shoulder drooping in a very defeated way.

I wanted to say no. I wanted to just go lay down in my own bed in my own room and go to sleep and not wake up for a long time. But the pathetic, defeated way he looked was too heartbreaking and I couldn't say no. I groaned, "Fine. But only to make sure you don't puke and die, okay?" Some spirit seemed to return to him as his shoulders lifted a little and he looked up at me, eyes a little bright. "Now... finish getting undressed and I'm gonna go put on my pajamas."

I walked into my bedroom and flicked on the light. I looked around and thought about missing all this if I left Casa del Syn. I'd have to take my old room back home with dad and Suzy, and it wasn't as big as my room here. I'd be leaving a lot here anyway, just because I couldn't take it back to dad's house. I sighed and opened my pajama drawer. I changed and brushed my hair then took one more look around my room before heading back to Brian's.

Was leaving really the best idea? I mean, Brian was an adult and needed to no be so reliant on me, but was just up and leaving him the right thing? I didn't want to be leaving the place that had been my home for almost four years and give up everything that came with living with my brother. However, I also didn't want to put up with the stupid way he'd been acting lately. Especially if hitting me or his best friend was becoming a new hobby. Maybe I would feel different if I slept on it.

I walked into Brian's room and saw him sprawled out on his bed on his back, his mouth hanging wide open. I rolled my eyes and walked over to him. I punched him in the shoulder so he woke up, but he barely responded. I pulled him onto his side and pulled the trash can from the corner of his room. "Bri, don't sleep on your back. If you have to puke, please make sure you get it in the trash can." I turned off the light and crawled under the blankets on the opposite side of the bed with my back to my brother.

"Avigaiel?"

I turned my head to look at him, but couldn't see in the pitch black darkness. I pulled the blankets up to my chin. "Hmm?"

It was quiet for a long time and I wondered if he had passed back out but I felt him stir and roll over, almost stealing all the blankets. I tugged them back toward me and he snickered, then went quiet for a little while again. "Are you really gonna leave me?" The hurt and sadness in his voice was all too obvious.

It was my turn to be quiet. I wasn't sure I had an answer. Maybe I was just getting cold feet about having to go through all the changes of moving on top of everything that had gone down in the last couple days. It seemed like so long ago, I had a hard time believing it was really only last night. I glanced at the clock, the red number telling me it was almost 5am. "I don't know... Go to sleep, Brian."

I had gotten three hours of sleep, sporadically. Three lousy hours in the five hours I spent tossing in turning in my brother's bed. Finally, I crawling out of the bed when his clock said it was just after 10am. I was glad to find a text from my dad on my phone saying that I had been excused from school today to rest from my accident. That would be fun to explain to everyone at school...

I walked down the stairs to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, knowing I'd need at least a cup before turning into the She-Devil. I still didn't have any clarity on my situation and that was annoying. I was slumped over the counter top, watching the fresh coffee drip into the pot when the doorbell rang. I grumbled but stayed where I was, assuming it was some guy wanting to talk to me about Jesus. The doorbell rang again and the person on the door knocked five times in a familiar pattern. I groaned and stomped to the front door, grumbling in annoyance. I threw the door open, "What do you want!?"

I glared into the shocked face of Zacky, only softening my expression a little. His eyes were wide and he had reared back a little. He smiled meekly and chuckled nervous, "I see someone hasn't had her coffee yet this morning." He cautiously looked around me into the house. He chewed on his lip for a minute then looked at me again, "Is your brother home?"

I shurgged and nodded. "Yeah, but he's still asleep... Bound to have one hell of a hangover when he wakes up, though." I shook my head and walked away from the door to go back to the kitchen, leaving to door open for Zacky to come in. I heard the door shut behind me and Zacky's quiet footsteps following me. "What happened to staying away from here?" I asked, going back to my position slumped over the counter top to watch the coffee pot.

I heard a chair slide back from the island in the middle of the kitchen. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye as he shrugged. "I was hoping I could talk to him." He looked at me and raised a brow, "Haven't you ever heard that a watched pot never boils?"

I shrugged and rolled my eyes. Some old wives tale wasn't going to make me move from my spot in front of the coffee maker. No way in hell. And, if Zacky knew what was best for him and the rest of the world, he wouldn't suggest otherwise. "You saw what happened when you tried to talk to him yesterday. Even after you bailed that motherfucker out of jail." It was my turn to raise a brow skeptically at him.

He shrugged again and stayed silent, picking at the crumbs on the counter top. The thick and awkward silence was both uncomfortable and annoying and I could tell he was thinking about something. He looked up at me finally, "So, are you really leaving Casa del Syn?"

I shrugged and poured the coffee into a mug. "Want some?" He shook his head and continued to stare at me, obviously waiting for an answer. I sighed and sat down, taking a sip of the hot coffee. I didn't know what to tell Zacky since I didn't even know what I was thinking about the situation. I didn't know what was best for me and that was frustrating.

Zacky nodded and pushed the little pile of crumbs that he had collected around the counter. After a while, he cleared his throat and straightened his posture. "Think your brother would kill me if we went and had some lunch? I'm starved."

I raised a brow and took another slow sip from my mug. I kept and straight face and half shrugged as I raised a brow, "Probably." We looked at each other for a while before I sputtered a laugh, unable to hold the facade any longer. "Yeah, I'm down for lunch. Just let me get dressed." I finished the last of the coffee in the cup before setting it into the sink and going up to my room. I changed into a pair of light grey skinny jeans, a black Pantera tee, and pulled a red slouch beanie onto my head after I brushed my hair.

I wrote Brian a note and took a glass of water and some aspirin to his room, setting the items on his nightstand so he could see them when he woke up. I knew he would be mad if I went to hang out with Zacky and I knew he would find out sooner or later, but I needed to talk to him and this was the perfect opportunity.

I grabbed my phone, wallet, and keys and walked down the stairs again. I poured some coffee in one of my to-go mugs and looked at Zacky. "Let's roll out." I followed him out the front door and locked the door behind us. I slid into the passenger seat and sighed, hoping my brother wouldn't be too mad. Though I understood now why he'd been so mad at Zacky and had wanted me to stay away from him.

"So, food?" Zacky asked as he slid into the driver seat and started his car. He looked at me questioningly and I knew he wanted me to pick since he didn't care. He was like a vacuum, eating whatever you put in front of him.

I thought for a minute. "I could go for some pizza." He nodded at me and headed off toward a pizza place while I messed with his radio.

We sat at the booth, waiting for the waitress to bring out our meat lovers pizza. I sipped at my Dr. Pepper and tore the paper wrapping of the straw I wasn't even using. I'd been wanting to ask Zacky about what my brother had said about him while we were at the hospital, but now I was chickening out.

Suddenly, he leaned forward, crossing his arms on top of the table. "Avi, I need to talk to you." His eyes looked urgent and he searched mine. He sat back again, rubbing his arm and looking around the building. He looked back up at me.

I blinked, slightly confused and worried. He was acting strangely and it was really weirding me out. But I nodded and looked at him, "Alright?"

He sighed, flustered, and scratched the back of his neck. His face was twisted in his own thoughts, unsure of how to say what he was on his mind but desperately wanting to. He chewed on his lip for a minute. "You know how Brian called me a... Well, how he said I was a..." He cleared his throat and swallowed hard, closing his eyes, "He said I was a... Pedophile." He said the word like it was foreign and his brow furrowed.

I nodded slowly, cautiously. He'd said Zacky wanted to fuck an underage girl, that he was in love with a kid. That was creepy and all but I knew there was more to it. My heart raced again at the thought of finally getting down to the Gates vs. Vengeance mystery. "You don't really want to... you know, fuck a kid, do you?" I looked down awkwardly, feeling like blurting that out to him was wrong.

He looked at the people in the other booths, though they were too far and caught up in their own conversations to hear us. He sighed and slouched lower in his seat. He struggled again to find the words to say, his brows raising and lowering. "Not a kid, no. Syn's just being a drama queen, you know how he is..." He forced a smile as he looked at me but it quickly vanished as he looked away. He was avoiding eye contact and that was probably the only thing giving him enough courage to actually talk. "Jesus, I should've picked somewhere a little less public," he muttered, putting his head in his hands.

"Hey, it's alright. Calm down, you don't have to talk about this now." I really wanted to and I wanted to hear his side of the story. I was relieved to hear this girl wasn't a kid and I had figured Brian was exaggerating, but it was good to know. However, his obvious struggle and nervous about the subject was hard to watch.

He shook his head urgently as his intense eyes met mine. "No, no. I need to talk to someone, and I really want it to be you... I, uh..." He shook his head and sat up again, leaning forward over the table. He looked over my face, searching for something. I couldn't tell if he found it or not as his eyes quickly darted to the waitress bringing our pizza. She left it at our table and left, politely telling us to enjoy our meal, and then Zacky looked back at me quickly. "I just can't let Brian keep manipulating the situation and making it look so much worse than it is, you know? And... I really feel like you deserve to know." He sighed and closed his eyes, and I could feel the whole mystery was about to slam shut with what he was about to say next.