Ignite.

The second we were in the cab and Harry had rattled off his address, my hand was on his thigh and my lips were attached to his neck. People did this in the back of cabs all the time, right? A small noise emitted from the back of Harry’s throat before his hand came over mine and pried it away.

“What are you doing?” he asked in a hushed voice, his head ducking down to meet mine. But I didn’t give him an answer, just slammed my mouth onto his. He was stiff at first, but soon his arm came around my waist and his lips started moving in sync with mine. The ride was only ten minutes, and soon the two of us were stumbling out of the taxi, hands groping anywhere they could find. Somehow we made it into the elevator and up to his floor and down the hallway and then he was pulling his keys off his belt loop. I was behind him then, my arms around his waist and my lips nipping at any skin on his neck that I could reach. Finally the door was open and as Harry shut it behind us, he spun to slam my body against it. Soon his mouth was attacking my neck, leaving wet kisses and bites all over the sensitive skin. Kisses and bites that were sure to leave marks by morning. And I was so okay with it, because it all just felt so good. The way his body was pressed firmly against mine, the heat of his mouth on my neck, the way his curls felt tangled between my fingers.

And suddenly I realized that I could do this. I could be sexy and desirable and all the things that I knew Bri was for Alex. And that sent me into autopilot. Because let’s be honest, the normal Jude would be shaking right now. But this Jude? This Jude knew exactly what she wanted and how she was going to get it. A small moan escaped my lips before I practically begged Harry to take me to his room. And he complied. In a tangle of limbs, we somehow made it to his room, collapsing on the bed together. We were on our sides, arms wrapped tightly around each other as we kissed and soon my hand was walking itself down his chest. It was like I wasn’t even controlling it anymore. Because in one quick and completely fluid motion, my palm was resting on his crotch and giving a gentle squeeze. A loud groan filled our mouths as he lurched forward, clearly not expecting that one, and that just seemed to egg me on. His hands were gripping hard at my hips as he tried to gain control of the situation and suddenly his lips were pulling away from mine with a loud smack.

“Jude, stop,” he gasped, his hand taking mine away from his body. My eyebrows had crinkled as I gazed up at him, confused as to why he was cutting this off.

“What’s wrong?” I murmured, sitting up and turning to face him.

“What are you doing?” he asked almost incredulously, and I could feel the normal Jude coming back to me.

“I just wanted to make you feel good,” Ballsy Jude answered innocently as my hand reached out for him again. But he grabbed it in his own, keeping it far away from his lower half.

“Not like this.” A sigh left his mouth and before I could even stop her, Ballsy Jude was speaking again.

“Did you want me to blow you instead?” His eyes nearly bulged out of his head at that before he roughly shook his head, moving away from me.

“No, no-”

“Do you not want me?” There was a small crack in my voice and I was almost certain that normal Jude was back in control.

“Jude, I-”

“It’s fine, I get it.” In a flash, I was off the bed and locking myself in his bathroom. Of course he was quick to follow, his hand making contact with the door as he practically pleaded for me to come out. But at that point I was so embarrassed. How could I have done that? “Harry, just go away,” I called through the door, my hands gripping roughly at the counter to steady myself, because at that point I was shaking.

“No, I need you to come out. Please.”

“Go. Away.” I heard him let out a loud groan before his steps retreated from the door and out of the bedroom. I tried to take a few deep breaths, but I really wanted to cry. I just felt so stupid. Of course he didn’t want me. Why would he want the completely inexperienced girl who made an ass of herself? I was suddenly overcome with fatigue and while part of me wanted to hail a cab and get the hell out of there, the exhausted part of me was stronger. So as quietly as I could, I’d unlocked the door and moved to his closet, grabbing the first tee shirt and pair of sweatpants I saw. Then I practically ripped off my clothes, placing his shirt and pants over me and diving into his sheets. And almost as soon as I was wrapped up in his amazing smelling blankets and my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.

--

When I woke up the next morning, I was alone, as anticipated. I wouldn’t want to be around me either if I were him. The blankets were all mussed up on his side though, so he had slept with me, which made me feel a little better. The smell of eggs was wafting through the apartment this time, and I decided I should probably see how much damage I’d caused. So I dragged myself out of bed and to the kitchen, where Harry was making omelets, the little shit. I leaned against the doorframe and watched him for a few minutes, trying to collect my wits and speak to him. But he seemed to notice my presence, and without even turning around, called,

“Good morning, beautiful.”

A deep blush settled on my cheeks as I forced out a small ‘hi.’ How had he known I was there? Fucker. Finally he turned to me, holding out his hands as a way of beckoning me over. So with a deep breath, I pushed myself off of the doorframe and crossed the room, letting my hands tangle with his. He pulled me close, placing a gentle kiss to my lips and I immediately blushed harder as I remembered how aggressive things had been the night before. He pulled away shortly after, giving my hands a tight squeeze.

“Veggie omelets alright?”

“Y-yeah, that’s great.” I mustered up the best smile I could, but I knew he could tell I was internally freaking out.

“There’s orange juice in the fridge, or we could make tea or something-”

“Juice is fine!” I got away from him as quickly as I could, busying myself with setting the table and pouring juice for us. But soon he was joining me at the table, placing an immaculate looking omelet in front of me.

“I hope you like it,” he murmured sweetly, placing himself opposite me and giving me a warm smile.

“I’m sure I will,” I muttered more so to myself, pulling off a large piece and shoving it in my mouth. Harry had barely picked up his fork when he set it down with a sigh.

“Shall we talk about this then? Because I really don’t want you shutting down on me.” There was a pleading look in his eyes and I found it hard to swallow, taking a big gulp of my juice to get it down.

“I- I’m not-”

“Jude, please.” His ankle hooked with mine under the table as he continued to stare at me.

“I just feel stupid, it’s fine,” I mumbled, pulling off another piece of the omelet.

“Why would you feel stupid?” he asked, his eyebrows knitting together and that adorable little crease forming in between his eyebrows. A humorless chuckle escaped my lips at that.

“Why wouldn’t I? I made a complete fool of myself last night-”

“No you didn’t. I just...wasn’t expecting all of that.”

“Do you not want that? Do you...not want me?” I could literally feel my eyes get sadder at the idea of him not wanting me anymore, and it absolutely sucked. A small smile graced his features though, perplexing me even more.

“Jude, I absolutely want you. I can’t even explain how much I want you-”

“But why would you want me when you could have someone who’s more experienced?”

“I don’t care if you’re inexperienced. I’ve told you before, sex isn’t my priority with you. Which is a bit different for me, honestly. But I like it. And it’s not that I don’t want you or that I’m not into you, because I am! I am so utterly attracted to you, Jude.”

“But you could have better…” His eyes closed then as he took a deep breath through his nose, his nostrils flaring before he finally looked at me once more.

“Don’t. Do not do that. There is nothing wrong with you.”

“But-”

“You’re not going to change my mind on this, Jude. You should know that by now, I stalked you, remember? Now eat your breakfast.” I rolled my eyes a bit at that because it just boggled my mind how I could be feeling so horrid and then he just. Made it go away. And I felt like I could breathe properly again and I was actually able to eat my breakfast without feeling like I was going to be sick at any second.

“So!” Harry clapped his hands together, spinning to face me after placing our dirty dishes in the dishwasher. “I believe I have a Christmas present for you.” He crossed the room to me, extending a hand and pulling me up from my seat.

“Harry, seriously, you didn’t need to get me anything!”

“Jude, seriously, I did though, so you should really just accept it.” There a was a cheeky grin playing at his lips as he led me into the living room and sat me on the couch before swiping an envelope off a table in the corner. “Merry Christmas, beautiful,” he murmured as he placed the envelope in my hands.

Jude x

I quickly ripped it open, pulling two slips of paper out of it. As my eyes scanned over one of them, I literally thought I was going to have a heart attack.

The Fray
Hammerstein Ballroom
December 31, 2014 8:00PM

“Are you serious?” I barely managed to get out, my eyes drifting up to meet his, which were sparkling as he gave me one of the biggest smiles I think I’d ever seen on him.

“I thought I could see those sweet dance moves again?” I was up from my seat in an instant, throwing my arms around his neck and holding him tightly. A string of ‘thank you’’s left my lips as he held me tightly and soon I was placing kisses all over his face.

“I can’t believe you did this! The show’s been sold out for ages!” I cried as we pulled apart a bit, but his arms stayed wrapped around my waist, keeping me close.

“Well, it took a bit of searching, but I finally found a pair of tickets.”

“These must have been a fortune. I can help pay-”

“You’ll do no such thing! I wanted to get them for you so I did.” He kissed me then and when we pulled apart he just looked so damn proud.

“You’re amazing,” I whispered, placing my lips delicately to his once more. He smiled against me, pulling me in tight again. When he finally let me go, I could not contain myself, jumping around the room and letting giddy giggles float past my lips. And all Harry could do was watch, with that same stupidly proud smile on his face. I quickly snapped a picture, sending it to Bri with the caption,

HARRY’S TAKING ME TO THE FRAY I CAN’T EVEN WHAT IS HAPPENING.

that’s amazing, babe! guess that means no hamptons though?:/

And suddenly I felt horrible.

oh god, bri, I’m so sorry! I promise I’ll make it up to you!

it’s fine, don’t worry. I mean I still hate him, but I’m glad you’re getting to see them. I know how bad you wanted to go.:)

“Bri says she hates you,” I called to Harry, who had slipped off to use the bathroom and was just returning.

“Oh good, something new and different then!” he chirped, flopping down next to me and throwing his arm around my shoulders. I cuddled into his side, resting my phone in my lap and just reveling in the moment I had with him.

“Thank you so much for this,” I practically whispered, tilting my head to look at him.

“You’re welcome, babe. I just want to make you happy,” he answered softly with a smile before leaning down just slightly to capture my lips in his own.

“I am happy. So so happy.” Then I cuddled into his side even more as he snagged the remote from a side table and flicked on the TV. The Disney Channel was playing Lady and the Tramp, so we decided on that. I rested my arm over his middle as he pressed a light kiss to my hair, his large hand softly rubbing my shoulder.

--

“I thought you were going to the Hamptons with Bri,” my mother said as the two of us sat at the island having tea on the 30th. My eyes leapt up from the Vogue magazine in front of me and I mentally recalled the story that Harry and I had come up with.

“I am! I’ve just been feeling a little under the weather the past couple days, so I’m going there tonight and staying until school starts.”

“How are you getting there? Surely you’re not paying for a cab for that far.”

“No, Alex had some stuff with work, so he’s going tonight as well. He said he’d drive me.”

“Oh, well that’s nice of him! I’m sure you’ll have a great time.” She smiled politely at me then, and I reciprocated, glad that I had gotten through that. I mean, a part of me knew she would buy it, but there was the off chance that she would ask questions. Then she shooed me away, saying that I should start packing. And so I went.

Harry was picking me up around ten since he had to close the shop that day, meaning he wouldn’t be leaving the city until around nine-thirty. I felt bad making him backtrack, but he wouldn’t let me take a cab to meet him. He said he didn’t want me spending the money, but that was kind of silly because we both knew I could manage and we both knew that he would cover anything in New York, no matter how many times I would offer to.

A text came through from Harry just a little after ten letting me know that he was waiting at the end of the driveway. So once I did one last quick mental checklist to make sure I had everything, I flicked off the light and tore down the stairs. My parents were thankfully already in bed, since they had an early morning the next day or something, so we’d said our goodbyes earlier. This made it a hell of a lot easier getting out of the house, because I was certain that they would have wanted to say hello to Alex, and well, he wasn’t there.

Shutting the front door quietly behind me, I quickly made my way down the driveway, pleasantly surprised to see Harry standing by the car waiting for me, even though it was freezing and he could have stayed in his nice heated seat. But he didn’t and I couldn’t keep the grin off my face as I dropped my bag to the ground and tossed my arms around his neck, chirping out a quick ‘hi!’. And before he could even get out his usual ‘hi, babe’ I’d captured his perfect lips in my own, holding him as tightly as I could.

“Well hello to you, too,” he grinned as we pulled apart, placing one more quick peck to my lips. A smile was stapled to my lips as he led to me to the passenger door and helped me into the car. Soon he was in the driver’s seat, plugging his iPod in and selecting a mix he had made for the trip, which wasn’t nearly as surprising as it could have been. Harry liked mixes for different occasions.

A bubbly feeling overtook my stomach as we started down the street. I just couldn’t wait for what this trip might bring. I couldn’t believe it was even happening, to be honest. I mean, every time I saw Harry it felt like a new adventure, but this? This seemed to go above and beyond that. Harry’s hand found mine and he gave it a tight squeeze, his eyes flickering over to me momentarily.

“Are you excited?” he asked suddenly, and I could just hear the smile in his voice.

“Is that even a question?” I scoffed, squeezing his hand back.

“That is not an answer, Jude. I said are you excited?” He was shouting now, actually shouting, and I couldn’t fight the laughter that was bubbling up my throat. His eyes had gone all wide and glittery as he looked over at me again, shaking my hand around this time.

“I’m excited!” I cried back, giggles still falling from my lips.

“I don’t think I can hear you!”

“I’m excited!” We were both screaming over the music now, laughter in our wake before we held each others gazes briefly. Harry was positively glowing and I couldn’t help but notice the tightening in my stomach. Butterflies, if you will. I’d never felt them before Harry, it would seem. And now that I had I never wanted them to go away.