Ignite.

Harry and I arrived at the venue about forty-five minutes after doors had already opened. Thankfully the line had gone down considerably, since Harry and I really didn’t feel like standing in it. I was going to do enough standing tonight, thank you. I didn’t need an extra hour in these heels. It’s not that I minded wearing heels, especially since these ones were so comfortable, but I was going to be on my feet the entire show, and then Harry had surprised me, saying that we’d be going to one of his old friend’s place for a party afterward. So naturally, I had to be party ready!

So anywho, by the time we had gotten our car parked in the garage next door and made it to the line, we were pretty close to the doors. Harry had held onto the tickets for safe keeping after he’d presented them to me, so he whipped them out of his wallet and had them scanned for us as we made our way into the building. The whole place was buzzing, and I’d forgotten how amazing the energy was at concerts. My hand was tightly clasped around Harry’s as he led me into the crowd, finding a spot where we could still see, but weren’t too smushed by all the people around us.

And that’s when things got shaky.

Two leggy girls who looked like they could be supermodels appeared seemingly out of nowhere, sidling up to Harry and striking up a conversation. Typical. Couldn’t take him anywhere, could I? I tried to brush it off at first, expecting them to go away. You think they would have after Harry blatantly said that he was there with me. But they both spared me a small glance, before sharing one of their own and then going back to ogling Harry, their eyes wide and sparkling. And what was Harry doing? Eating it up. Yes, he took their compliments like a champ, just as he always did, and he even dished some right back, that playful little glint in his eye. I mean, Jesus Christ, boy -- you were still holding my hand! The opening band started then, much to the girls’ dismay, so all conversation came to a halt.

But it would seem that the half hour set didn’t shake them. As soon as the band left the stage, the two were right back to talking Harry’s ear off. And it was like I wasn’t even there. Yes, his fingers were still tangled with mine, but I don’t he’d looked my way since the middle of the set. The three were back to palling around and suddenly one of the girls called, ‘Oh, Harry!’, playfully slapping his arm and giggling. Yeah, I was about to give her face a playful slap. Her hand ended up lingering there as she shot him a flirty smile, and finally I couldn’t be there anymore. So without even thinking about it, I slipped my hand out of Harry’s, which finally got his attention.

“You alright?” he asked as he turned to me, the little crease forming between his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just gonna run to the bathroom before The Fray starts,” I told him, keeping my voice as even as possible. I even threw in a pretty convincing smile, if I do say so myself.

“You want me to come with you?” he shot back quickly, his focus completely abandoning the pretty girls. But I shook my head and had to refrain from rolling my eyes.

“I’ll be fine.” And with that, I spun and quickly made my way away from him. I didn’t actually have to pee, so I slipped past the bathrooms, dying for some fresh air. But large signs above the exit clearly read ‘NO REENTRY’. Well, fuck. My eyes scanned the lobby area then, looking for I don’t even know what, when I saw a few people heading for one of the exits, unlit cigarettes dangling from their fingers. Ah, yes, a smoking section! It made sense, most venues had them, right? And a cigarette did sound good right about then. I hadn’t had one the entire trip, because I knew how much Harry didn’t care for it. But you know what, he was too busy with those girls, so damnit, I was going to have a smoke. I quickly followed the other people outside, lighting up as soon as I could and leaning against one of the rails, my eyes following the cars that sped down the street. Christ almighty, what had I gotten myself into? I mean, of course he was talking to other girls. We weren’t together. I don’t know why I thought he would suddenly stop just because we came to New York together.

Now, it’s not like Harry flirted with girls every time we went somewhere. He was normally very focused on me and my needs and all that jazz. But there had been a number of occasions where he would throw a wink or a flirty comment at another girl. And again, we weren’t dating or anything, so I suppose I never let it bother me. But this weekend was supposed to be different, wasn’t it?

“This doesn’t look like the ladies’ room,” that deep voice sounded from behind me. I almost didn’t turn to look at him, wanting to be stubborn and upset for just a minute. But I broke, rather quickly, and spun to face him. His eyebrows were knit together as he stared down at me, a frown playing at his lips. “What’s going on?” he asked, his large hands coming up to rub at my arms, but I was quick to pull away.

“Nothing, just wanted a cigarette,” I answered cooly, trying not to make too much eye contact. His eyes narrowed a little at my nonchalant answer, not buying a second of it.

“Okay, but what’s actually going on? What’s wrong?” Before I could answer, a large security guard was tapping on Harry’s shoulder, prompting him to turn to face the man.

“Excuse me, but if you’re out here, you need to be smoking. There’s a no reentry sign everywhere else for a reason.”

“Yeah, alright,” Harry answered, turning to face me again.

“Jude, seriously, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing-”

“That’s bullshit. I can tell that you’re upset, but I don’t know what’s wrong and-”

“Dude, seriously. If you’re not smoking, you need to go inside,” the security guard cut in again, and I watched as Harry’s eyes shut tightly for a moment. Besides being interrupted, Harry did not like being told what to do.

“Yes, alright,” Harry answered once again before his eyes came back to me. He was giving me a pleading look, but my face remained void of emotion as I stared up at him. “Jude-”

“Listen, light up or get back inside, got it?” The security guard stopped him once more, and Harry’s eyes nearly bugged out of his skull.

“Christ!” he cried exasperatedly as he snatched my clutch from my hand and pulled a cigarette from my pack.

“Harry, what are you doing?” I practically squeaked as he lit up. He couldn’t even stand the smell when I smoked and he hated the idea of it and now he was smoking?

“I am trying to have a conversation with you, Judith,” he huffed as he thrust the clutch back into my hand and shot the security guard a look that said ‘here, I’m smoking, happy?’, to which the security guard rolled his eyes and wandered off.

“Yeah, but you’re smoking!” It’s not like he was just holding the slender stick to appease the guard. No, he was taking drags from it, releasing smoke from his mouth every so often.

“I don’t care about that right now, I care about you. So what have I done to piss you off?” He was running his free hand through his hair, looking incredibly frustrated as he stared down at me. I thought about brushing it off again, telling him I was fine, but something just wouldn’t let me pipe down.

“You haven’t done anything. I guess I’m just not entirely settled by the whole arrangement-”

“What arrangement?”

“Us! Like, I get it, we’re not exclusive or anything, but I don’t like standing there while you flirt with other girls!” The people closest to us had glanced over due to my outburst, but no one watched on for too long.

“Jude, I wasn’t- I wasn’t flirting with them-”

“Harry, please, I’m not blind. Give me a little credit,” I snarled, taking a long drag from my cigarette.

“I wasn’t! They were flirting with me but-”

“You don’t even realize you’re doing it. Harry, those girls were getting vibes right back from you. But maybe I shouldn’t even be upset. We’re not dating. You’re free to flirt with whoever you want. Sorry.” I shook my head slightly, tossing the butt to the ground and stomping it out before brushing past Harry and heading inside. This time I actually did go to the bathroom, ignoring Harry’s calls from behind me as he followed me into the building. Thankfully there was no line, and I quickly tossed myself into a stall and locked the door behind me before resting my head against the chipping paint.

Why couldn’t this just be easy? Why couldn’t I just know what we were? Harry and I had had a discussion what felt like eons ago. It wasn’t even about us, just labels in general. Harry didn’t care for labels, which wasn’t too surprising, honestly. He just thought people should live, and whatever kind of relationship they had with people is what they had. Labels brought guidelines, he had said, and I had agreed with him. But that was a lie. Because I wanted a label, I needed a label when it came to us. This was just all too confusing. After another five minutes of wishing I’d never come to New York, I forced myself out of the stall and back into the lobby.

Harry was waiting a bit away from the door, and as soon as he saw me, he started for me. I tried to walk away from him, heading back for the crowd, but his hand quickly caught mine and he pulled me away from the doors and the stream of people.

“Jude, please. I’m sorry about earlier. I know I need to be more aware of how I’m acting, okay? I do. But please know that they meant nothing. I promise.” His hand was squeezing mine as he gave me quite a guilty look and I could feel myself breaking.

“Okay. I believe you,” I finally answered, allowing him to kiss me. He pulled me close and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hug him back tightly. There was just something about Harry.

--

The rest of the show was rather amazing. They played all the songs I loved and Harry was more than willing to jump around and scream the lyrics with me. Everything felt right again, and I was feeling silly for ever having doubted him. I mean he brought me to New York to see my favorite band play on New Year’s Eve. That had to mean something. When they played “Look After You”, Harry wrapped his arms around me from behind, his head coming to rest on my shoulder as we swayed slightly. Chills ran down my spine as he whispered all the words in my ear, leaving small kisses just below my ear now and then. In fact, that was enough to leave me giddy for the rest of the show, and for our argument earlier to be forgotten. Midnight came while we were waiting in the parking garage for Harry’s car, and the kiss we’d shared had been probably our best to date. It was passionate and fiery, but definitely not sleazy, as we were in a crowded parking garage.

Soon we were heading to his friend’s apartment, which also happened to be in a swanky high rise. But I suppose I shouldn’t have been too surprised, really. We rode the elevator way up, and Harry didn’t bother knocking when we reached the door.

The party was obviously in full swing at that point, so we went rather unnoticed as we entered the room. That is, until Harry’s name was being called and a blonde boy was bounding over to us.

“Haz, you made it!” The boy cheered, and I was quick to pick up on a bit slurred version of an Irish accent. Harry hugged the boy back tightly, saying that of course he was here, why wouldn’t he be? “You must be Jude! I’m Niall,” the blonde called then, grabbing my hand and twirling me around. “You’re quite the looker.” A dreamy look was on his face as he grinned at me, but soon Harry was pulling me back into his side.

“Yes, she is and she’s off limits,” Harry called stiffly as his arm wound around my waist possessively. Niall waved a hand at him distractedly before telling us to grab a drink and make ourselves at home. So we did just that. Harry led me to a giant kitchen, an alarmingly large myriad of alcohol sitting on the island. “I’ll only have one,” he promised as he grabbed himself a beer and mixed me up something that tasted amazing.

We spent a good portion of the night dancing among the sea of people, and a fair bit of our time was spent making out in a corner, but I’ve got no shame. More dancing came after that though, and I soon found myself in need of a wee. So I excused myself, Harry promising not to move an inch, and then I dashed off to the bathroom.

I’m not sure if I was surprised that Harry was not where I left him. I mean, I guess I couldn’t stop myself from being a little let down. Not to mention worried, as I was eighteen and alone in an apartment full of people in their twenties. I didn’t miss the lusty looks that were shot my way now that I wasn’t on Harry’s arm, and I was desperate to find him. I waded my way through people as I moved on the outskirts of the crowd, hoping for a glimpse of those curly locks of his. I mean, he was giant, surely it shouldn’t be this hard. And it wasn’t. I had found him. However, I would have much rather preferred him to not be sitting on the couch, a busty brunette on his lap. His hand was weighing heavily on her waist and they were both cackling at something.

“Y’alright?” I heard from beside me, startling me out of my trance. It was Niall, and his eyebrows were knit together as he took in the look on my face.

“I- yeah, I’m fine, I just…” My eyes trailed back to Harry, who was grinning up at the gorgeous girl on his lap. Niall followed my gaze before letting a long ‘ah’.

“So he’s still like that, then,” Niall muttered with a small shake of his head.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, back when he used to live here, he was like this. Harry was never one for labels, y’know? He just saw what girls he liked at the time. He was always flirting with people though, even if he was kinda with another girl. He never really had girlfriends though. And I guess, I just thought- with you, he just- he talks about you a lot. He’s really into you, Jude. I know he’s trying, but he’s not good with this stuff. Don’t hate him too much, alright?” I nodded sort of numbly after Niall’s explanation and soon he was offering to get me another drink. So I nodded again and let him lead me to the kitchen, where he concocted something much stronger than what Harry had given me earlier. He introduced me to a group of his friends, who all seemed rather nice. However, any lingering gazes they might have been giving me were abruptly halted when Niall told them “she’s Harry’s girl”. And that put an end to that. We’d all been chatting for about twenty minutes, and I’d barely touched the drink Niall gave me. It was just too strong, honestly. Though I suppose I couldn’t blame him.

“Jude, what the hell happened to you? You disappeared!” Harry’s voice cut through the room and soon he was right behind me, his hand coming down on my shoulder.

“Yeah, so did you,” I shot back, forcing myself to take a large gulp of my drink, and then forcing myself not to wince at the burn in my throat. Harry was silent for a few long moments, having no comeback to that.

“Why don’t we go home?” He finally spoke, puling me toward him.

“But I’m making new friends-”

“Jude, please. Let’s just go home.” His eyes bore into mine as his hand found mine and once again I wished I had a better tolerance for his intense gazes.

“Okay,” I sighed, handing my drink to Niall. I gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before calling, “It was nice meeting you, boys!” to the others. I didn’t receive a response, and I was willing to bet it had something to do with the glare Harry was sending their way. Drama queen.

--

The ride back to Anne’s was silent and the two of us refused to speak until we were back inside Harry’s bedroom. I was slipping my blazer off and starting to untie my shoes when Harry finally sighed.

“What the hell was that?” he huffed, kicking off his short boots.

“Could ask you the same question,” I scoffed as I pulled out the earrings he had bought me and placed them on the bedside table.

“Dunno what you’re talking about.”

“Harry, I can’t do this,” I sighed as I spun to face him, not having the energy to be snippy anymore. His eyebrows immediately creased at that.

“Can’t do what?”

“Whatever this is,” I muttered, gesturing between the two of us. “I can’t deal with you flirting all the time. I saw you and that girl at Niall’s.”

“Babe, that wasn’t- she didn’t-”

“Mean anything, I know. I get it. But this sucks. I like you, Harry. I really, really do. And you said you liked me too and then- I go the bathroom and you’re all over another girl? I can’t deal with that. I didn’t want to believe that I was just some plaything for you to cart around, but-”

“You’re not! How could you think that?”

“How could I not?” I screamed back, and I was so thankful that Anne had chosen to go out and then stay with a friend that night. I really would not have wanted her to hear this. “I mean, I would have thought that after what happened at the show that you have- I don’t know, given it a rest for the evening? But I guess not. I guess not.” Harry’s face was falling with every word I said, but this time I couldn’t bring myself to give into him. This was something that was majorly bothering me and I couldn’t just compromise on this one.

“I’m not- I’m not good at this stuff, Jude. You’re the first girl I’ve been this close with in a while and I’m rusty, okay? I don’t even think about it, it just sort of happens and-”

“Well you need to start thinking about it. Because I can’t be in an open relationship. So if you want to be with me, I need a conscious effort. Or I can’t do this anymore, because it hurts too much.”

“You’re giving me an ultimatum?” His voice once again had that smoothness to it, like he was taking control of the situation. It was almost a little incredulous, like you’re giving me an ultimatum? Do you know who I am?

“Yeah, Harry, I am,” I replied flatly, not letting him intimidate me for once. He stalked toward me then, stopping just inches from me so that I could feel his breath fanning over my face.

“Okay, then,” he whispered, causing my eyes to jump up to his.

“Okay wh-”

“I want to be your boyfriend.”

“Harry, I’m not joking around about this. I need you to-”

“Jude,” he cut me off, his hands coming up to cradle my face. “I want to be your boyfriend. I don’t want anybody else. Just you. I’m yours.” His eyes held mine for the longest of times as I looked for any kind of doubt in his gaze. But there was none to be found. His lips connected with mine then as he pulled me in, his hands dropping from my face as he wrapped his arms around me. My hands came up to tangle in his hair as I sighed into the kiss. Things got heated rather quickly and soon we were on the bed, his body hovering over mine as he nibbled at my neck. A soft moan escaped my lips as he found a particularly sweet spot and stayed there. Finally his lips came back to mine in a heated kiss and then his hand was lightly pushing the skirt of my dress up.

“Harry, wait-,” I gasped, grabbing on to his hand. “I don’t want to have sex, I’m sorry,” I sort of mumbled, my eyes refusing to meet his. He took my chin in between his thumb and index finger, angling my face toward his again.

“That’s fine,” he whispered before placing a delicate and caring kiss to my lips. “Just let me make you feel good?” He watched me for a few moments before I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded gently. His lips met mine again in a heavy kiss, his teeth catching my lip as he pulled away before sliding down and settling between my thighs. Jesus Christ.

--

I was woken up the next morning by light kisses being placed all over my face. A small smile flitted to my lips as my eyes slowly fluttered open and were met with Harry’s grinning face.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he murmured, capturing my lips in a soft kiss. A soft mewl escaped my lips as he pulled away, the grin immediately back.

“Mm, good morning.”

“How was last night?” He was watching me intensely now and I knew he was talking about what happened after our fight.

“Harry, it was- amazing.”

“That was just my hand. Imagine the things I can do with my mouth.” A wolfish grin came to his lips at my somewhat shocked reaction. I’d never really been spoken to like that before. But I couldn’t deny the delicious pang that once again resonated through my body.

“Well, perhaps I won’t have to imagine for too much longer,” I finally forced out. I mean, the idea of sex and all that was still a little terrifying. But last night was a good first step for us.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Harry assured me, pecking my lips once more and then pulling me into his chest. I snuggled closer to him and placed a delicate kiss to his collarbone, letting out a contented sigh.

Yeah, New York was alright.