Status: Drabble - Complete 3/14/13
Home
This was where she wanted to die.
"Ronnie, don't start," Kenzie whispered as she looked up at Ronnie, a small but genuine smile on her lips as she touched his cheek with her fingertips. The touch shocked him - he hadn't expected such a gentle touch in a moment so painful.
"We have to go," he breathed out. "You have to go. Please."
She shook her head, her smile turning sad as she sat back down on the edge of the bed, looking out through the bedroom window at the wintry landscape. It had taken months to convince Ronnie to bring her back to Montana; back to her home. It was so far away from the good hospitals.
But it was home. And this was where she wanted to die.
"Ronnie, you know it won't do a bit of good. The doctors say I'm too far gone," she murmured, her eyes cast down to the wooden floorboards they stood on. "I don't want to spend the last few weeks of my life fighting. I want to spend it living."
"Babe," he whispered in a cracked voice. "You're not going to--"
"I am," she cut him off as her eyes met his. She saw the pain behind the beautiful brown color that she loved so much, and she wished more than anything that in that moment, she could take away his pain. But she couldn't. "Ronnie," she continued, reaching for his hand and squeezing lightly. "I'm going to die. We both know it. We've known it for a long time."
"You can't," he shook his head as he crouched in between her legs, looking up at her as he rested his chin on her knee. "Ken, you can't die."
"Everyone does," she murmured, swiping her fingers back through his bangs before she leaned her forehead down on top of his head. "Some just go sooner than others, that's all."
He shook his head again, and she bit her bottom lip when she felt hot tears hitting her sweat pants, soaking through the fabric. She felt her heart breaking; not for herself, but for him.
She loved Ronnie. In spite of everything - the chemo, the drug treatments, the rehabilitation that was supposed to have stopped her from reaching this point, she loved him. Her heart had never been affected by the cancer that burned through her body like a California wildfire, and she knew he felt that kind of love, too.
"Please stay," he begged her. "Baby, please...Please don't leave me."
Kenzie couldn't find the words to say. Her heart was breaking more and more each second, and so she just looked back out the window at the falling snow. It was such a pretty time of year, with the Crazy Mountains in the background.
She hadn't wanted to die in California, surrounded by smog and noise and all the light pollution. No, Kenzie had wanted to come home; home to the quiet surroundings of the big sky state; the land where she'd been born and raised. She'd wanted to come home to have her final winter with snow.
Ronnie had given that to her. But what could she give him in return?
Nothing, she realized sadly. She would be dead long before she'd get a chance to make this up to him. She just hoped that he realized how much his love meant to her; how long it had kept her strong. She hoped he never forgot it.
She hoped that he never forgot her.
"We have to go," he breathed out. "You have to go. Please."
She shook her head, her smile turning sad as she sat back down on the edge of the bed, looking out through the bedroom window at the wintry landscape. It had taken months to convince Ronnie to bring her back to Montana; back to her home. It was so far away from the good hospitals.
But it was home. And this was where she wanted to die.
"Ronnie, you know it won't do a bit of good. The doctors say I'm too far gone," she murmured, her eyes cast down to the wooden floorboards they stood on. "I don't want to spend the last few weeks of my life fighting. I want to spend it living."
"Babe," he whispered in a cracked voice. "You're not going to--"
"I am," she cut him off as her eyes met his. She saw the pain behind the beautiful brown color that she loved so much, and she wished more than anything that in that moment, she could take away his pain. But she couldn't. "Ronnie," she continued, reaching for his hand and squeezing lightly. "I'm going to die. We both know it. We've known it for a long time."
"You can't," he shook his head as he crouched in between her legs, looking up at her as he rested his chin on her knee. "Ken, you can't die."
"Everyone does," she murmured, swiping her fingers back through his bangs before she leaned her forehead down on top of his head. "Some just go sooner than others, that's all."
He shook his head again, and she bit her bottom lip when she felt hot tears hitting her sweat pants, soaking through the fabric. She felt her heart breaking; not for herself, but for him.
She loved Ronnie. In spite of everything - the chemo, the drug treatments, the rehabilitation that was supposed to have stopped her from reaching this point, she loved him. Her heart had never been affected by the cancer that burned through her body like a California wildfire, and she knew he felt that kind of love, too.
"Please stay," he begged her. "Baby, please...Please don't leave me."
Kenzie couldn't find the words to say. Her heart was breaking more and more each second, and so she just looked back out the window at the falling snow. It was such a pretty time of year, with the Crazy Mountains in the background.
She hadn't wanted to die in California, surrounded by smog and noise and all the light pollution. No, Kenzie had wanted to come home; home to the quiet surroundings of the big sky state; the land where she'd been born and raised. She'd wanted to come home to have her final winter with snow.
Ronnie had given that to her. But what could she give him in return?
Nothing, she realized sadly. She would be dead long before she'd get a chance to make this up to him. She just hoped that he realized how much his love meant to her; how long it had kept her strong. She hoped he never forgot it.
She hoped that he never forgot her.