Status: Writing <3

Isn't She Lovely?

Twelve

“That was the new Imagine Dragons record.” Nick turned to me and grinned, “how many times have you seen them play Blair?”

“Shut up.” I pouted as Nick laughed, “I’m not saying, it makes me sound like I right creep.”

“Tell the world how many times you’ve been to see them play.” Nick demanded.

“14 times.” I blushed as Nick cackled with laughter, “shut up! I love them! They are amazing live and you’ve seen them like 6 times!”

“Only cause you’re forever going to their gigs.” Nick defended himself and I rolled my eyes at him.

“Shut up. I love them and I’m proud that I’ve seen them so many times.” I huffed and Nick laughed.

“Stalker.” Nick coughed and I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Alright well that is it from us today.” I said cheerfully.

“So until tomorrow stay lovely!” Nick grinned.

“He’s been Nick Grimshaw.” I laughed.

“She has been Blair Louise Styles.” Nick laughed, “next up is Sarah Cox.”

“Have a lovely day!” I grinned and pressed play for the next record.

“So you’re seeing her today?” Nick asked as we walked out of the studio and I nodded biting my lip, “are you nervous?”

“I feel like I’m about to throw up.” I told him and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

“Do you have to go straight off?” he asked and I glanced at my watch.

“I can probably stay for like 20 minutes, why?” I asked and he directed me down the hallway.

“Let’s get a cup of tea in you to calm those nerves.” He squeezed my shoulder and I smiled.

“Thanks Nick.” I bit my lip as we walked over to the drinks machine.

I made myself a cup of tea and Nick had a coffee, he always got one from the machine and complained about how it always tasted burnt but it was just one of those things that he did out of habit. We sat opposite each other and I spun the mug around on the table.

“So where are you meeting her?” Nick asked.

“She’s coming over to the house,” I told him and sighed, “which is weird.”

“Why is it weird?” he asked and I shrugged.

“It just is, my mum is coming to my home.” I shook my head and sighed again, “I can’t even put it into words how weird this whole thing feels. I used to lay awake at night and think about all the different scenarios of when I would see her again.”

“What were they like?” he asked.

“They all took place when I’d be like 15 or 16.” I shrugged, “after that I kind of lost all hope of seeing her again and got on with my life. After I was like 18 I decided I wouldn’t see her, even if she wanted to see me, to much had happened. Yet here I am today.”

“Why are you seeing her?” Nick asked stirring his coffee.

“I guess I need answers.” I pursed my lips, “I’m curious to see what she’s like, how alike we are and just stuff like that.”

“You’ll be fine B,” Nick smiled softly at me, “it’ll be okay.”

“I hope so.” I ran a hand through my hair and bit my lip glancing at my watch, “shit, I should go. I need to get home and tidy the house and have something to eat not that I’m hungry really at all, no I actually feel a bit sick. God I hope Harry is back from his photoshoot, can you believe that? They just rang him this morning and told him he had to be there? What if we had had plans?”

“Blair.” Nick chuckled and I gasped for breath before giggling embarrassed by my rambling.

“I lost if for a second huh?” I blushed and Nick grinned laughing.

“Just a smidgen.” He shrugged before standing up and offering his hand, “come on, I’ll walk you out.”

Nick and I walked out of the radio 1 building and waited for the cab I’d rung on the way down. He kept his arms wrapped round me in a hug as I rested my head on his chest. Nick was one the best friends I had ever had, when Harry wasn’t around Nick was the easiest link I had to him and we had never been closer than we were at the moment. He’d spent countless nights staying over at our house when Harry had been away and Darcy was still small. He’d taken turns getting up and feeding her, cuddling her and telling her stories. He’d forced me to leave Darcy in the capable hands of Lou when he decided I was turning into an old lady and needed to go out, get drunk and dance the night away. He had been there for me when Harry hadn’t been able to be and we were both undeniably indebted to him.

“People are taking pictures of us.” Nick mumbled into my hair.

“Maybe they’ll speculate if I’ve managed to turn you straight and we’re having some sordid love affair behind Harry’s back.” I replied and I felt the chuckle in his chest.

“I bet they’ll make it into some kinky three way affair, they love the idea that Harry and I are gay together.” Nick laughed softly, “the idea of that boy being gay is ridiculous.”

“Preaching to the choir.” I laughed, “he’s as straight as the come.”

The taxi appeared and Nick gave me a kiss on the forehead, a squeeze of the hand and made me promise to text him to let him know how it went. I spent the entire journey home playing with my phone. Eventually I got out the taxi after paying the man and let myself into the house. I put my keys in the bowl on the sideboard, I quickly moved the flowers around that sat in the vase so they looked a bit nicer. I jogged up the stairs and into the bedroom pulling my jumper over my head and grabbing a white vest top and pulling a light denim shirt on, I swapped my jeans for a pair of beige shorts and threaded a belt through. I glanced in the mirror and was happy that I looked nice but casual, I touched up my foundation before bouncing down the stairs picking up discarded toys of Darcy’s from the kitchen and put them away in the toy box in the lounge. I fluffed the pillows up and picked up the mug Harry had had tea in this morning from the coffee table and folded the magazine he’d obviously started reading, I spotted that he’d circled something and saw it was a gig for David Ford, I smiled and placed the magazine on the side. I glanced around the lounge happy that it looked more presentable and went back to the kitchen making myself a sandwich quickly before sitting at the breakfast bar and grabbing a notepad sketching mindlessly as I listened to the cd Harry had left in the player, humming along even though I barely knew the songs. I glanced at the clock and noticed that it was almost time for my mum to get here. I tidied up the mess I had made from lunch before going back to my sketches, they were taking shape into a few cute tops and skirts that I thought about adding to the pile of clothes I’d love to make for my dream shop, I had started coming up with the idea of opening my own clothes shop a few months ago but hadn’t mentioned it to anyone. It was just one of those things I did for myself, Harry would tell me to do it but I wasn’t sure if I was in the right place to take on a project like that. There was a knock on the door and I pushed the sketches to the side and hopped off the stool walking towards the door. I opened it and there was my mother smiling back at me. She was in a pair of cream jeans and a white blouse with a pair of black wedges on her feet. I stepped to the side and gestured for her to come in.

“Hey,” I said softly and she smiled.

“Hello Blair.” Her voice was so soft, as if butter wouldn’t melt.

I watched as she looked around the hallway her mouth parting as she took in the light white space, her eyes followed up the stairs and along the balcony that showed the light yellow painted wall that connected our bedroom to Darcy’s and then further down you could see half a door that was one of the guest bedrooms. She looked at the flowers, her eyes scanned over the photos that sat on the sideboard before she looked to the wall.

“Are these your vows?” she asked pausing at the two canvases that hung pride of place on the wall so they’d be the first thing you saw when you walked in or walked down the stairs.

“Yea.” I bit my lip, “we thought we’d have them up so we’d see our promises to each other every day.”

“That’s a lovely idea.” She smiled softly as she started to read them.

I cleared my throat and she looked over to me, I didn’t want her to read the precious words Harry and I had exchange which I knew was stupid, I’d had them put on a canvas so it wasn’t like I didn’t expect people to read them but the idea of her knowing her promise, reading our personal jokes and realizing how much Harry meant to me made me feel sick, like if she knew he was my biggest weakness she might exploit it. It was irrational and I knew it but I couldn’t stop the thoughts.

“Shall we just…” I trailed off and gestured to the kitchen.

“Okay.” She nodded and started walking before stopping at the picture of Harry and I on our wedding day, “you look…wow.”

“Thanks.” I pursed my lips.

It was just a picture of Harry and I laughing as we danced, it summed up our relationship pretty well. We were holding each other so close, our foreheads pressed against each other’s as we laughed. It made me feel uncomfortable having her look at our pictures as if she was slowly invading those memories.

“So tea?” I asked and she snapped her head to look at me.

“Oh, I don’t like tea. Can I have coffee instead?” she asked and I nodded.

We were so different. I made the drinks and she hovered awkwardly in the kitchen. I picked the drinks up and led the way outside as it was sunny and I reasoned that keeping her outside would mean she couldn’t try and invade our memories anymore.

“You have a beautiful home.” She said as we sat down.

“Thanks.” I held the tea in my hands, “we’ve redecorated about 5 times. I’m never happy with it.”

“And Harry?” she asked and I tensed as his name past her lips, I hated the way it sounded.

“He just goes with it.” I shrugged, “I honestly think he’d be happy whatever I decided.”

“Are you planning on redecorating again?” she asked curiously and I shook my head.

“No. I don’t really have the time at the moment.” I shrugged, “anyway, I think I’m finally happy with it.”

She nodded and an awkward silence fell over us again, I sipped my tea and my knee bounced up and down.

“So are you close to Harry’s family?” she asked and once again I tensed hating how she spoke about him.

“How about we don’t talk about Harry.” I said and she nodded, “sorry, it’s just…”

“It makes you uncomfortable talking about him?” she asked and I shook my head.

“No. Not at all.” I spun the mug around, “he’s just…mine.”

“I know.” She nodded.

“You don’t know him.” I told her and she nodded again.

“I know that.” She looked at her coffee, “I’d like to though.”

“A lot of people would like to know Harry.” I responded, “that doesn’t mean they’ll get to.”

“He’s very famous.” She said and I nodded.

“He is.” I agreed, “but yea. Let’s talk about something else.”

“What about your daughter?” she tried and I tensed, “Darcy?”

“Yea let’s not talk about her.” I shook my head, feeling my jaw tighten slightly as my daughter’s name passed her lips.

“What would you like to talk about then? What would you be okay with?” she asked and I shrugged.

“Anything but Darcy and Harry.” I told her, “I just…I’m sorry but I hate the way it sounds when you say their names.”

“Because you hate me.” She said softly and I bit my lip, “it’s okay Blair, I know you do.”

“You just left.” I stated. “One day I woke up and you weren’t there anymore.”

“I know.” She nodded and shifted uncomfortably.

“I guess this is where we decide we shouldn’t talk about that either.” I said quietly.

“How about we talk about you?” she tried and I looked up at her.

“What about me?” I asked.

“Whatever you’ll tell me.” She shrugged.

“Okay,” I bit my lip, “I don’t know what you already know though.”

“You do live a very public life.” She smiled softly.

“I do.” I nodded, “it’s easier if we don’t hide things though.”

“Have you found it hard?” she asked.

I spun around the mug in my hands when I heard the door close and laughter. I turned my head to the sound and then Darcy appeared.

“Hey baby.” I stood up and scooped her up putting on my hip, “I thought you were with Uncle Louis?”

“Uncle Louis!” she grinned and I smiled.

I looked over at my mum who was watching us with a smile on her face. I turned away from her as Louis appeared. His eyes landed on my mum and he tensed, he remembered her.

“Louis.” She smiled at him and he nodded.

“Diana.” He nodded before walking over to us, “Darcy kept crying.”

“Why?” I furrowed my eyebrows together and looked at the little girl in my arms who was smiling up at me.

“I think she missed you.” He chuckled, “I also forgot her blanket so…yea.”

“Right.” I nodded and stroked her hair softly, “let’s go get you that blanket.”

She peered over my shoulder at my mother and waved, I tensed and Louis put his hand on my arm.

“Do you want me to stay?” he asked softly and I bit my lip, “okay.”

He walked over to the seat that was empty between us and sat down.

“I’ll have a tea if your making B.” he grinned at me and I chuckled, “So Diana, what have you been doing with yourself?”

I shook my head walking inside and put Darcy down, she held my hand as we walked into the kitchen for me to put the kettle on. I glanced at the clock and bit my lip, where was Harry?

“Blankie!” Darcy pouted and I nodded.

“Okay baby.” I picked her up and we walked upstairs and I grabbed it out of her cot placing it her hands as she smiled happily.

I walked back downstairs and went outside.

“Hold her for a sec?” I asked and Louis nodded.

I placed her in his lap and he started making faces at her making her laugh loudly and poke his face. I walked back inside and grabbed her playpen for outside, I had insisted on it due to the pool and the amount of nightmares I had had about her falling in. I put it up on the grass infront of us and went back to grab some of her favourite toys before placing her in it. She happily sat down and started playing quietly. After making a fresh teapot and some coffee I walked back outside.

“And then Blair just jumped.” Louis grinned, “Harry literally looked like he was about to pass out.”

“Ah, Australia.” I grinned sitting down and Louis nodded.

“Telling her about the jump you did that we were all too scared to do.” He told me and I nodded.

“That’s because you are all a bunch of pansies.” I chuckled and my mum smiled.

“You were always fearless Blair.” She told me, “even as a small child. You would just throw yourself into things and not be scared of anything.”

“Didn’t that scare you?” I asked looking over at Darcy watching her carefully, “that I’d really hurt myself?”

“Not really.” She shook her head, “I never let you do anything I wasn’t sure you were going to be able to deal with.”

“What like walking out on me?” I said before even thinking, Louis took a sharp intake of air.

“So did you see the picture of Blair on her wedding day?” Louis asked in an attempt to change the topic.

“I’m sorry.” She said, “I really am.”

“Yea, tell that to 13 year old me.” I replied.

“She looked beautiful.” Louis tried.

“She’s always been beautiful.” She said to Louis, “though I always thought you two would end up together.”

Both Louis and I looked at each other and laughed.

“That’s because you have never seen her with Harry.” Louis smiled, “never have two people been more perfect together.”

“I know you’re talking about Blair and I.” A voice said behind me and I spun around.

Harry walked over as I stood up and he pulled me into a hug, holding me tightly.

“I’m sorry I’m late.” He whispered into my ear.

“It’s okay.” I replied, “I’m okay.”

He pulled away and pressed a kiss to my lips softly.

“One second.” He told Louis and my mum before turning around and striding over to the playpen, “how is the most beautiful little girl in the world?”

He picked up Darcy and spun her round before pulling her close and nuzzling into her causing her to cackle with laughter. I smiled as I watched him with her, he was whispering in her ear and she was giggling even though she probably didn’t understand half of what he was saying.

“Now do you see?” Louis asked.

“He’s wonderful with her.” My mum said softly and I nodded still tense at her being so close to them.

“He is.” I nodded as he placed her down again with a kiss on her head before walking over to us.

“What were we talking about?” he asked sitting next to me and picking up my mug of tea taking a sip.

“How beautiful Blair looked on your wedding day.” Louis grinned and Harry beamed.

“Oh yea,” he turned to me, “makes a change from usual hey?”

“Shut up.” I hit him and he laughed grabbing my hand and placed kisses along my knuckles.

“You know I’m kidding, you’re the most beautiful woman I have ever met.” He told me and I rolled my eyes at him laughing softly, “but yea, she was beautiful on our wedding day. Took my breath away.”

“Aww.” I grinned, “though you do have to say that.”

“I don’t.” he assured me and I laughed softly, “I’m Harry by the way, sorry I probably should have introduced myself properly before.”

“Diana,” She gave him a soft smile and he nodded, “no need to apologize though, really.

I reached out and took my tea back and finished it before pouring another cup and handing it to Harry who picked it up and drank it. I saw my mum watching us curiously.

“So other than how amazing Blair is, what are we talking about?” Harry asked and I shrugged.

“How was Lou and Lux?” Louis asked.

“Lux is being difficult.” Harry sighed running a hand through his hair, “it’s driving Lou insane. She just refuses to speak to her.”

“Why?” I asked and he shrugged, “did she speak to you?”

“Not really.” Harry sighed, “she kept saying I’d replaced her.”

“With Darcy?” I asked and he nodded, “but you still love Lux.”

“I know, I told her that but she’s just not listening to anyone at the moment.” He shrugged, “I rekon Lou just needs to wait it out.”

“Lou is our hairdresser and friend,” Louis explained to my mum.

“Oh right.” She nodded.

“So,” I bit my lip, “what are you doing at the moment?”

“I, er, I’m a photographer.” She said and I nodded.

“That’s cool.” Harry nodded, “what kind of photography do you do?”

“Like family portraits.” She shrugged and I bit my lip, “I like the idea of giving someone memories to keep.”

“Right.” I nodded and looked over at Darcy.

Harry placed his hand on my knee and squeezed it gently, I looked over at him and he smiled softly and I placed my hand in his lacing our fingers together.

“So do you have a family?” Louis asked, she looked at me, “other than Blair.”

“Oh.” She bit her lip, “yea I have a husband, a son and a daughter.”

“I have a brother and sister?” I blinked a few times as I stood up, “I have a brother and sister and you are only just telling me now?”

“B.” Harry stood up.

“You’ve been sat there making small talk with me.” I shook my head, “asking me about my family when you’re hiding the fact I have a brother and sister. I have a brother and a sister. Why the hell haven’t you said anything?”

“B.” Harry put his hand on my arm speaking softly, “stop talking so loudly. Darce is literally just there, just breathe and calm down.”

“I have siblings Harry.” I snapped at him.

I shook my head and walked away before turning around and looking at her.

“Just leave, I don’t know why I even bothered asking you over or why you came if you weren’t going to be honest with me.” I glared at her and walked inside.

I walked up the stairs and into Darcy’s room, I sat on the rocking chair and pulled my knees up to my chest as I closed my eyes and pressed my head to my knees.

“B.” he spoke softly as he picked me up, “baby come on, I’m here. Everything is okay.”

I wrapped my arms around him tightly and he sighed rubbing my back.

“I don’t think I can do it.” I told him, “it feels like that morning every time I see her. I literally feel like I’m breaking apart.”

“You aren’t.” He shook his head, “you’re just a bit shaken up, you have a whole family you didn’t know you had and it’s understandable you’re upset about it. Louis’s shown her out and has Darcy downstairs.”

“I…” I bit my, “what is wrong with me? Why did I react like that? Like a complete crazy person.”

“You aren’t crazy baby,” he pushed a piece of hair off my face, “it’s just a lot to take in.”

My head was hurting as hundreds of things ran through my mind. All the things I should have said to her, the questions I should have asked and I questioned my reaction. My mind was going into overdrive and it hurt.

“Kiss me.” I said softly, “make me feel good again, make things make sense again. Please.”

He cupped my face in his hands gently and placed his lips over mine. It was soft and I laced my fingers through his hair tugging him closer as he pulled me against him harder, our lips working in perfect sync with each other. Harry’s hands stroked down my sides softly making goosebumps appear on my skin. In that moment the buzzing in my head stopped. All the questions concerning this new side of my family disappeared. All the worrying about what was going on with me melted away. All that mattered was this man in front of me and how much I loved him.
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It's taken me forever to work out how this was going to work out and to be honest I'm still not happy with it. I kind of feel like Blair is a bit of a mess in it and I'm not sure if I like that but whatever. Let me know what you think :)

Thank you to WhoAreYouJudy for commenting on the last chapter.

Thank you to everyone who's still reading this!

Also I think I might do another radio thing with Blair and Nick so if anyone has any questions for callers to ask her leave them in the comment section :)

I read a really awesome story today called Iridescent. It's just starting but I have a really good feeling about it so yea...if you fancy a new Harry Styles story :)

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