Status: Writing <3

Isn't She Lovely?

TwentyThree

“So after school finishes come over,” I smiled softly and my sister giggled.

“I’m excited!” she told me and I nodded.

“So am I.” I admitted as I grabbed an orange and out it in Darcy’s backpack.

I hung up on my sister as Ed carried Darcy into the kitchen. I grinned at them as Ed balanced her on his hip whilst he poured his cereal into a bowl, Darcy was pouting as she looked at the radio.

“Nick!” she pointed and I nodded.

“Yea baby,” I smiled at her, “Nick’s on the radio.”

“Uncle Nick!” she giggled and Ed chuckled

“And now it is time for school munchkin.” I sighed as she pouted at me.

“What are you up to today?” Ed asked between mouthfuls of cereal.

“I’m meeting up with the Rebellion boys and then…Darcy please put that down.” I asked as Darcy tried to put a picture of Harry and I in her backpack, “I’m meeting my sister for an hour then I have to organize to speak to my Dad. I also need to ring Harry’s management and then I need to fit in talking to Harry.”

“Wow.” He raised both eyebrows at I chuckled.

“I also need to pick this munchkin up from nursery.” I ruffled her hair and she let out a whine, “what are your plans?”

“I was going to start rewatching Nashville.” He shrugged and I laughed, “it’s a good show!”

“Boys in buses got a lot in common they both pick up speed when you try to stop. You could waste your breath you could scream and cuss em but there’s no use chasing after boys in buses.” I sung and Ed beamed at me.

“Told you!” he grinned and I laughed.

“Have fun.” I grabbed my bag.

“I can pick munchkin up if you want?” Ed asked and I bit my lip.

“Nah, don’t worry about it.” I leant across the counter and kissed his cheek, “thanks though.”

“Give me a call if you need help.” He shrugged before picking up the cereal bowl and walking into the lounge.

“Come on baby.” I held my hand out and Darcy took it.

I got her strapped in the car and she was giggling away as we listened to Nick on the radio. I could feel my phone vibrating in my pocket and I knew without looking that it would be Harry. I kept checking on Darcy who had her hand against the window. She pulled a face when we stopped outside the nursery, I parked and got her out the car holding her bag as she walked in front of me.

“Mummy.” She reached her hand out and I took it as we walked up the steps and down the hall.

A couple of the parents higher up in the school stared and one or two of the girls in the higher years nudged each other as they saw me. I smiled at them and for about the hundreth time since we’d enrolled Darcy here wished I could see their reaction when Harry dropped her off. We reached the classroom and I hung Darcy’s backpack on the back of her chair as she walked over to one of her friends. I was about to walk out when her teacher beckoned me over.

“Is everything alright?” I asked ignoring the vibration in my pocket again.

“Not really,” she bit her lip nervously, “I was going to talk to you yesterday but you didn’t pick Darcy up.”

“No Ed did,” I nodded and she sighed.

“There’s been some trouble with Darcy.” She told me and I furrowed my eyebrows together.

“What kind of trouble?” I asked glancing over at my daughter.

“She hit a member of the class the other day,” She told me and I my eyebrows shot up as my mouth fell open.

“She did what?” I managed to get out.

“She hit him,” The teacher told me, “she was acting weirdly all yesterday. She kept staring at the door and saying ‘Daddy’ over and over again. Is Harry away?”

“Yea.” I nodded running my hand through my hair, “he’s on tour at the moment. We’re not going to be seeing him for a couple of weeks. I can’t believe she hit someone.”

“It’s quite common,” she told me and I raised an eyebrow at her.

“I’ve never thought that Darcy had nasty bone in her body though.” I shook my head looking over as Darcy threw her arms around another little girl in a hug, “she’s always so affectionate and I just…”

“I know,” She bit her lip, “it’s difficult. If it helps I honestly don’t think it’s in her nature to be like that, maybe it’s because of the disruptions to your home life?”

That phrase cut me deeper than a knife ever could. I didn’t say anything as the buzzing in my pocket started up again.

“I…I…” I stuttered before clearing my throat, “I need to go. I have to go. I’m sorry. I’m really…”

“Don’t worry about it, I thought I’d just tell you about it.” She assured me as I backed away from her.

I ducked my head down and walked to the car ignoring the stares and even Jeremy calling out my name. I got into the car starting it up before I even had my seatbelt on, one glance at the time and I knew I didn’t have time to be heading where I was heading to but I needed this. I’d text the Rebellion boys and let them know I’d be an hour or two late, they were just rehearsing and I could do what I needed to do later. This couldn’t wait. I parked the car and got out locking it with the keys over my shoulder as I walked along the pathway. The distant sound of traffic started dying out as I followed the path into the park until I reached the tree I was looking for. It wasn’t the biggest tree in the park and to any passerby it was just another tree in a park full of trees but it meant something to me. It was everything and as I ran my hand over the back and took a seat at the bottom of it’s trunk I could feel my body relaxing.

Flashback

“I’m so hot I feel like death.” I groaned and Harry laughed, “you can laugh Harry you aren’t the one lugging a baby around with you at all times. My back hurts.”

“Come on,” He draped an arm over my shoulder and grinned.

I narrowed my eyes at him and his cheerfulness before reaching up and knocking that blasted fedora off his head.

“Hey!” he stopped walking to turn around and pick it up, “that’s not nice.”

“Nor is that fact you did this to me.” I pointed at my large bump and he rolled his eyes.

“I think you’re forgetting how much you enjoyed me doing that.” Harry grinned at I didn’t say anything.

He rolled his eyes before putting that hat back on his head and patting it triumphantly.

“We should have gotten out of London.” I huffed as Harry continued to lead me through the park.

“I did say that, Niall and Jenny are with Louis and El down in Brighton for the weekend. You said no. You said that you wanted to be in London, so London we are in dear wife of mine.” Harry threw his arms out dramtically.

“You’re an idiot for listening to me.” I huffed and he laughed, “I’m serious Harry, you should have made us go. I’m so hot, it’s like there is no air and I’m stuck in this dress that quite frankly is big enough to be a tent that sleeps four people comfortably.”

“I think you look beautiful.” He stopped me walking and stood in front of me, “even when you’re all tetching from the heat and the hormones.”

“Shut up.” I narrowed my eyes at him and he chuckled.

“I love you,” he told me softly and I bit my lip which caused him to chuckle, “you can say it back you know. I can pretend I didn’t hear it and you can go back to being angry at everything.”

“I love you too.” I told him and he grinned.

“What did you say?” he asked his eyes sparkling playfully and I laughed, “ah, that’s beautiful.”

“You’re such a loser.” I shoved him and he grinned

“You married this loser.” He pointed out and I grinned.

“I know, it pains me everyday.” I teased him and his mouth fell open in shock.

“Oi, you! That was just mean.” He pouted and I laughed.

“Really? What are you going to do about it?” I taunted him as he pursed his lips before lunging forward grabbing my waist and tickling me, “Harry! What about the baby!”

“Munchkin won’t mind,” he assured me as I continued to squeal as his fingers attacked me, “munchkin will understand.”

I was laughing as we both collapsed under a tree, I yawned and Harry grinned at me. We moved so I was resting with my head on his legs, he combed his fingers through my hair as I stared up at him. He looked down and smiled before tapping his finger on my nose which made me smile.

“You’re going to be an amazing Dad, you know that right?” I asked my hand automatically going to rest on my stomach.

“I know that together we’ll be as good as we can be,” he smiled softly at me as he continued to stroke my hair, “we’ll raise a little girl or boy who’s a complete mix of the both of us, I think that’s pretty amazing.”

“So do I,” I smiled looking at my bump, “Georgina.”

“No,” he shook his head placing a hand over my stomach, “what about Rihanna?”

“No.” I shook my head, “Rupert.”

‘The bear? No.” Harry shook his head and laughed softly.

“Oh yea,” I grinned, “I forgot about that.”

“Munchkin is a girl anyway.” Harry grinned laughing as I let out a whine.

“No! Munchkin is a boy.” I told him and he shook his head.

“What makes you so sure?” Harry asked and I shrugged smiling.

“Call it mother’s intuition.” I looked at my stomach, “munchkin is a boy, a boy we shall call…Dylan!”

“Dylan?” Harry pursed his lips together for a moment, “Dylan Styles…”

“Dylan Jack Styles.” I grinned and Harry bobbed his head from side to side as he thought about the name.

“Shortlist.” Harry nodded and I punched the air causing Harry to laugh, “when I was younger I had a cousin who was called Darcy.”

“Did you?” I cocked my head to the side as Harry bit on his bottom lip, “you’ve never mentioned her before.”

“She’s from my Dad’s side.” He shrugged and I nodded in understanding, things had always been slightly awkward with his Dad, “I met her like 3 times, she was amazing though and that wasn’t even just because I was really young either. She was a dancer.”

“What kind of dancer?” I asked enjoying the soft smile on Harry’s face.

“Ballet, I went to see her once. It was amazing. She was the most elegant and graceful person I’ve ever met,” he licked his bottom lip as he looked down to watch his fingers which were still playing with my hair, “she was beautiful, I remember thinking that she looked like she had just stepped out of one of the magazines my mum was always reading. She was like 19 at the time but she spoke to me like we were the same age. She told me she thought I had an old soul.”

“You do,” I said quietly, the edges of his lips twitches up briefly before he shrugged.

“I never felt like I had enough time with her,” he sighed nibbling on his lip again before looking up across the park as if he was searching for something.

“Why haven’t I met her?” I asked curiously.

Harry always saw the good in everybody and could find something in each person which made them stood out, their unique quality. There were few people that Harry held any strong distain for and it was a trait I’d always been slightly envious of. Dispite this trait only a select few people could bring out a stillness in Harry. I could never work out how to describe the stillness because whoever you were Harry would always give you all of his attention but the only way I could describe this part of Harry would be that the attention he gives is so great that he blocks out everything else around him. It’s like nothing else has ever mattered to him more than that moment.

“She was so gentle and magestic,” he sighed and looked up at the sky, “I sound like I’m in love with her and I wasn’t. Obviously. She was my cousin.”

I smiled as Harry shook that trail of thought from his head.

“Some people are born as things right?” he looked down at me, “like I honestly believe I was born to love you and that Eleanor was born to love Louis. Nick was born to make people laugh. Ed to inspire people. You know?”

“I was born to love you too.” I told him, he looked down at me and smiled.

The attention which he had had on his cousin immediately switched to me and the look in his eyes managed to bring goosebumps to my skin dispite the heat. When he turns that kind of attention onto you it almost feels like he sinks inside of you and sees you, really sees you with all the flaws and bad thoughts that you hide away from people but instead of focusing on them he sees your goodness, you’re heart, which is not only the most beautiful feeling in the world but also the most unnerving.

“What was Darcy born to be?” I asked him and he blinked a few times before looking up again.

“An angel.” He said so quietly I wondered if I’d even heard him, “she died when she was 20. The last time I had seen her was at that ballet performance.”

“Oh.” I watched as Harry continued to look at the sky.

“If our daughter is even half the person Darcy was I’d be the proudest Dad in the world.” He looked down and stroked my cheek briefly.

“Darcy Styles.” I smiled and he cocked his head to the side.

“She was Darcy Philips actually,” He told me, “she was my Dad’s sisters daughter, she had her Dad’s last name.”

“I was trying it out.” I told him, “I like the way it sounds.”

“You’d be okay with naming our daughter after my cousin?” he asked.

“I’d be okay with naming our daughter any name under the sun that put the same look on your face that you had just now when you spoke about your cousin.” I told him and he looked at me curiously and I shrugged, “you really adored her, didn’t you?”

“I did.” He nodded, “Darcy Blair Styles.”

“Darcy Anne Styles.” I corrected and he raised an eyebrow at me, “I’d rather her be more like your mum than me.”

“Why?” he laughed lightly and I shrugged.

“You’re mum is a better woman than I will ever be, it also has a really good ring to it.” I reasoned and he chuckled, “it’s irrelevant anyway. We’re having a boy not a girl.”

“We’ll see.” He grinned, “Darcy Anne Styles, you’ve got a lot to live up to.”

“Oi,” I hit his stomach, “don’t be piling on the pressure already! Munchkin is still growing. We’ll be proud of him no matter what anyway.”

“Her.” Harry corrected, “I know. With all our friends around her I know she’ll grow up to be the most loving and kind little girl ever.”

“Little boy,” I corrected and he laughed.

End Flashback

Darcy wasn’t a violent child. She was everything her names stood for and the fact that she had hit that little boy made my heart break. She was hurting and I didn’t know what to do about it. My phone started buzzing again and I pulled it out to see Harry’s name, dispite the anger I still had about the argument the other night I was so happy to see his name. I answered and pressed the phone to my ear as I leant my head back against the tree trunk.

“Good morning beautiful.” Harry’s low slow tone instantly relaxed the tense muscles in my shoulders.

“Hey you.” I managed to get out and he hummed in reply.

“What’s happened?” he asked causing me to purse my lips.

“Harry,” I shook my head at I could imagine him biting his lip as he decided what the best way to continue this conversation would be.

“What are you hurting about baby?” he asked and my heart fluttered like it usually did when he used the term of endearment.

“Darcy.” I mumbled.

“What about Darcy?” he asked and I could hear the worry in his voice.

“She hit someone.” I told him and he gasped quietly.

“What? Why?” He questioned and I looked down at my jeans before picking at a loose thread.

“Disrupted home life.” There was no emotion in my voice and I hated it, “that’s what the teacher said.

“Me.” Harry stated and I shook my head even though he couldn’t see me.

“No. Not you. Us Harry. We’re doing this together remember?” I hurried out as I could almost feel the pain that Harry was in right now.

“Only I’m not there.” Harry replied and I wiped a tear that rolled down my cheek.

“Together Harry. You promised.” I reminded him, “we’re in this together and this isn’t a big deal.”

“Then why are you crying?” Harry asked and my jaw dropped as I spun around trying to see if he was near me, “I can hear it in your voice B, trust me though that I wish I was there.”

“What are we going to do?” I asked quietly after we’d sat in silence for a moment.

“I don’t know.” He sighed heavily, “I really don’t know.”

“When did our lives get so complicated?” I asked him and he chuckled lowly.

“Probably around the time we fell in love.” He confessed and I hummed, “we’ve always made our lives difficult.”

“She’s a child, don’t all children hit other children?” I asked and I could imagine him biting his lip as he thought about it.

“Lux hit a couple of people.” Harry said and I felt strangely comforted by that.

“Where are you this weekend?” I asked and he paused for a moment and I could hear him flick through some pages, “how do you forget what country you’ll be in?”

“Hush.” He chuckled.

“I get you could forget what interviews you were doing but the country Haz!” I grinned as he shh’d be again.

“We’ll be in Denmark.” He told me, “I have interviews first thing in the morning on the Saturday, a gig in the evening and then two interviews on Sunday morning.”

“Do you think it’s worth it for a weekend?” I asked and he paused.

“If I only got to see you for an hour it’d be worth it for me B, you know that.” His voice was so soft and so sincere my skin erupted in goosebumps.

“Okay.” I nodded.

“Okay.” He responded and I giggled, “I love you B and Darcy will be fine.”

I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh that I didn’t even realize I was holding in. I had so much I had to do today but I didn’t want to move. I just wanted to stay under the tree we’d named our baby under with Harry on the other end of the phone and listen to him breathing. I was still annoyed but I couldn’t stay furious with Harry not when my body relaxed at the mere sound of his breathing. I knew I was being silly freaking out about Darcy hitting the other child but that wasn’t who she was. She was everything Harry and I thought she’d be, she was the most gentle and affectionate little girl I’d ever met and it was something everybody commented on. She wasn’t violent and I hated the sound of the teacher’s voice as she mentioned ‘disruptions’ in our home life, mainly because I knew she was right. I knew what missing parents did to a child and I wasn’t going to let Darcy be affected by it. Harry and I would make it work, we had to.
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I've been trying to figure out where I'm going to take this story and I'm slowly getting there.

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