Isn't She Lovely?

I gagged and closed my eyes as I threw up into the toilet again, I sat back pushing on the flush and groaned. I was a rubbish sick person anyway but after being told that there was no way I would be able to fly to Paris tomorrow to see Harry for our anniversary it was official that I was in the most awful mood ever. I pressed the balls of my hands into my eyes as I felt them start to water when I thought about not seeing Harry. It didn’t help that Lou had quarantined Darcy away from me, I knew it was the sensible thing to do but all I wanted to do was have a cuddle with my baby girl. But I can’t because then she’ll be sick and that would be worse than the current situation. I gagged again before moving to throw up anything that was left in my stomach.

“Calm down. I know. I know. The doctor said she couldn’t fly. I’d love to but she’s currently in the bathroom chucking up an internal organ. Sorry.” I heard Lou talking in the bedroom and I knew instantly she was talking to Harry.

I stood up flushing the toilet and moved to the sink rinsing my mouth with water before opening the door.

“Wait, she’s here.” Lou covered the mouth piece, “it’s Harry, I had to tell him.”

“I know.” My voice was hoarse from throwing up.

She past me the phone and I slid down the wall as I held the phone to my ear.

“Hey.” I tried to sound as best as I could but it came out like a croak.

“What’s going on?” Harry rushed out, it was always weird to me when he spoke really quickly.

“I’m sick.” I groaned and put my head on my knees, “really sick Haz and they won’t let me fly tonight which means I can’t see you tomorrow. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to do. I know you think I want to spend time with Damon but I don’t and god, I keep crying.”

I wiped my tears off my face and choked on a sob in my throat.

“I’m so sorry H. I really wanted to see you. I miss you so much it hurts.” I cried and gasped for breath between my sobs.

“Shh, baby.” His voice was calm and controlled, “you’re okay. Breathe.”

I tried to regulate my breathing as he continued to attempt to calm me down. Lou had left the room and I could hear her moving around downstairs.

“It’s okay, we’ll have other anniversaries love.” He said gently.

“But no time to see each other before America.” I sighed and he was silent for a moment.

“Well, no. But we’ll deal with it B, like we always do.” He reassured me, “is Lou looking after you well?”

“Yea, Nick’s popping over for a bit later so she can go home, check on the girls and grab some stuff.” I ran a hand through my hair, “I can’t stop throwing up.”

“You’re not pregnant are you?” He asked and I snorted, “what? You threw up a lot when you were pregnant with Darcy!”

“Well I’m not pregnant, I’m just ill.” I sighed closing my eyes ignoring the tears rolling down my face, “I’m so sorry Harry.”

“It’s not your fault, you didn’t ask to get sick baby.” His tone was soothing, it was one I recognized that he used on Darcy when he was getting her to sleep.

“I love you.” I mumbled

“I love you too.” He sighed, “so much, I hate you being sick.”

“Oh god.” I stood up and ran to the bathroom abandoning the phone as I threw up in the toilet.
I closed my eyes and groaned before flushing the toilet and grabbing the phone.

“You alright?” Harry asked and I huffed resting my forehead against the cool granite.

“I fucking hate my life right now.” I moaned.

“I know,” his soothing tone was back, “go back to sleep love.”

“Kay.” I yawned even though I didn’t feel particularly like I could sleep without running to the toilet again.

“I love you, so so much.” He told me and I couldn’t help but smile.

“I love you too H. So fucking much.” I sighed and he chuckled softly.

“Sweet dreams baby.” He hung up and I crawled into his side of the bed.

I laid there for a few moments before reaching out and taking a sip of my water. I coughed before closing my eyes and groaning. There was a knock on the door before Lou walked in carrying a piece of toast on a plate, next to the toast was a yellow antibiotic that the doctor had given us earlier on the day. She sat cross legged on the bed next to me, I sat up and grabbed her into a hug. I buried my face in the side of her neck as she stroked my back softly.

“You’ll see him soon lovely.” She promised pressing a kiss to my head, “now, are you going to attempt toast again?”

I nodded and she rewarded me with a smile as she thrust the plate at me. My phone buzzed as I brought the toast to my lips, I took a bite chewing slowly as I grabbed my phone off the edge.

Heard you were sick. Take it your not off to Paris tomorrow then? That sucks man, hope you feel better soon. Gimmie a call if you need anything yea? I could come over to chill if you fancied it? xx

I bit my lip taking another bite and locking my phone dropping it next to me. Lou raised an eyebrow at me.

“Not replying to whoever that was?” She asked and I shook my head.

“It was just Damon.” I shrugged.

My phone buzzed again and I looked down to see it was Nick, I unlocked the phone and his message appeared bringing a smile to my face.

My life sucks without you babe. I’m going crazy. Tell Lou to go home and I’ll come take her place. I bet you’d prefer my snuggles as well. I’ll make us tea and we can watch stupid films we know the endings to already….you’re not contagious right? God I miss your stupid laugh.

“Who is making you smile like that?” Lou asked after looking up from her twitter.

“Nick.” I grinned tapping in a response about how much I missed him, “he’s amazing.”

“You’re good to each other.” She smiled, “ah you’ve eaten!”

She clapped and I laughed taking the tablet quickly before placing the plate on the side table. I snuggled down as Lou reached out and stroked my hair off my face.

“You’d look really good dip dyed.” She told me and I grinned.

“Do you want to do it?” I asked and she nodded excitedly.

“Will you let me?” She asked and I shrugged.

“If you think it’d look good, I trust you.” I told her and she squealed.

“God I can’t wait to get my hands on this hair and make it mine!” She cackled and I snorted before laughing happily.

“You’re such a dork.” I shook my head and she grinned.

“How are you feeling love?” She asked and I bit my lip.

“Sick and tired.” I sighed, “what time is it?”

“Half seven.” She chuckled, “you should sleep though, you’ve been puking all day and if you sleep you wont throw up that food you just ate.”

“Silver linings.” I murmered closing my eyes.

“I’ll see you in the morning.” She pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“I was meant to be in Paris tomorrow morning.” I groaned, “fuck.”

“You’ll have other anniversaries.” She petted my head, “sweet dreams love.”



I groaned and rolled over to see where the weight on my side that woke me up had come from. My eyes widened when I saw the mess of brown curls and the smile that made my heart hurt.

“Hey sicky.” He whispered pushing my hair off my face.

“How? Why?” I gaped and he chuckled.

“You didn’t think I’d let us have an anniversary apart did you?” he pulled me closer tucking my head under his chin, “let alone let you be this sick without me here to look after you.”

“But you might get ill to.” I pointed out but wrapped my arms around his chest regardless.

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead, “you’re very sweaty.”

“I know. It’s really attractive right?” I closed my eyes as I inhaled the smell of him and my body practically sang in happiness at being near him again.

“I prefer it when I’ve made you sweaty.” He chuckled and I giggled despite how lame he was.

“You’re an idiot.” I mumbled as I felt sleep tug at my consciousness.

“One you married four years ago.” He stroked my back softly and I practically purred under his touch.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“1 in the morning.” He mumbled into my hair.

“Happy Anniversary handsome.” I moved back to look at him and he smiled.

“Happy Anniversary beautiful.” He pushed my hair off my face.

I smiled as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of my nose. I moved to kiss his before leaning to give him a butterfly kiss with my eyelashes, which caused him to let out the cutest giggle and made me smile happily as I pulled away from him.

“You’re on my side of the bed.” He told me and I nodded snuggling into him.

“It made me feel closer to you.” I told him and he hummed.

“You should sleep baby, I’ll be here when you wake up.” He promised.

“Okay.” I nodded, “if this is just a dream though, this is the best dream ever.”

I felt him chuckle underneath me and his arms tightened around my body as he pulled me even closer to him.



I yawned and stretched rolling over as I reached out for Harry only to find a cold bed. I groaned, he had felt so real last night and yet here I was waking up alone. I sat up and reached for the water taking a sip only to gag and have to run to the bathroom.

“Fuck.” I groaned as my stomach continued to contract and I rested my head on the wall next to the toilet.

I lurched forward as I felt someone rub my back and press a kiss to my shoulder. I reached up and flushed the toilet before turning to see Harry.

“Oh, you are real.” I sighed in relief and Harry chuckled lowly next to me.

“Did you think you were having a very vivid dream?” He asked stroking my hair off my face.

“I woke up alone.” I shrugged, “it seemed plausible.”

“Well I’m very real,” He promised moving to lean on the wall next to me.

My head fell on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

“How’s your stomach?” He asked and I groaned burying my face in his shirt.

“This is the least romantic anniversary morning ever.” I huffed and he laughed softly.

“Yet there is no place else I’d rather be than right here with you.” He petted my hair and I pouted as I pulled away from him.

“I’d rather be in Paris with you.” I told him and he rolled his eyes.

“Well that would be great but that wasn’t really an option so I’ll take this.” He smiled.

“You’re way too perfect.” I smiled and he grinned resting his forehead against mine.

“I’d love to kiss you.” He told me and I rolled my eyes before jumping away from him and throwing up in the toilet again, “is the idea of kissing me that disgusting?”

I reached behind me and hit him as he laughed. I finished retching and fell back into his arms that he wrapped around me, my back pressed to his chest and my head lolled back on his shoulder. We stayed next to the toilet as I gagged, retched and groaned for at least an hour and a half before he picked me up and sat me next to the sink. We both brushed our teeth as he ran a bath for us, I teased him about how cheesy he was but he swatted me away before going downstairs to fetch us pain au chocolats and strawberries which he had run out to buy this morning. Whilst he was away I couldn’t help but walk over to the bath and stick my hand in frowning, he always ran baths too cold and I giggled to myself as I turned the heat up knowing he’d groan and moan at me about it. I poured in some of my favourite bubble bath and sighed happily as the smell filled the room.

“Ta da!” He appeared in the bathroom and placed the tray on the sofa next to the bath.

He’d placed a small vase on the tray with a bunch of flowers arranged in to be identical to the ones I’d had in my bouquet on our wedding day. There was tea, pain au chocolats, strawberries and little blue tiffany box.

“Oh, Harry.” I sighed reaching out and wrapping my arms around him, “I don’t know what the hell I did to deserve you.”

“It’s me who doesn’t deserve you.” He mumbled into my hair holding me tightly, “now lets eat before we get in this bath.”

“Okay.” I grinned moving to sit on the sofa opposite him after I turned the tap off as the bath finished filling up.

I picked up a pain au chocolat and tentatively ate a piece, Harry munched on his watching me carefully before he poured out the tea and I put the food down to drink the tea.

“Alright?” He asked and I nodded.

“I’m okay,” I gave him a weak smile, “as long as I eat it slowly I should be okay.”

“Good.” He bit his lip, “how long did the doctor say you’ll be ill for?”

“I should stop throwing up by tomorrow.” I ate a strawberry, “but I can’t see Darcy for another two days just to be safe.”

“How is she?” He asked and I sighed running a hand through my hair.

“Good, Lou says she’s good but it’s just really weird not seeing her.” I bit my lip, “just knowing she isn’t with one of us is weird, you know?”

“Yea,” Harry nodded, “I’m going to pop over to see her later today. If that’s alright with you?”

“Don’t be silly,” I waved him off, “of course you should go see our daughter, just cause I might infect her doesn’t mean you shouldn’t see her!”

Harry grinned at me before picking up a strawberry and popping the whole thing in his mouth causing me to shake my head.

“You’re going to choke one day.” I tutted and he rolled his eyes.

“Shut up and open your present.” He passed me the blue box and I grinned taking it from him.

I undid the white ribbon and draped it carefully over the back of the sofa which made Harry shake his head. I bit my lip softly as I gently opened the lid of the box revealing a long white gold chain, I picked it up and held the large white gold locked that sat on the chain. I bit my lip opening it to see space for three pictures, one of Harry, one of Darcy and another of the three of us. I ducked my head down and pulled the chain over my head, it fell to just below my chest and I instantly picked up the locket loving the weight in my hand.

“This is so perfect.” I looked up from studying it to see Harry watching me curiously, “thank you so much.”

“It’s alright, I’m glad you like it.” He shrugged and I bit my lip shaking my head.

“I love it Harry.” I wrapped my hand around it holding it to my heart, “so much.”

“Good.” He smiled, “there’s room for a picture of our next little one, just take me out.”

“Our next one?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Yea,” he rolled his eyes, “just cause I said no about one at the moment doesn’t mean I said no to one in the future.”

“A child and a locket. God Haz, you really out did yourself this year.” I teased and he laughed.

“You’ll be the one giving me the child once you’ve grown it and such.” He gestured to my stomach and I laughed.

I finished off my pain au chocolat before we both got in the bath together and cuddled for a while before it turned into us making bubble beards which quickly escalated into a bubble war. The sound of Harry’s laughter filling the bathroom was enough to make me feel ten times better. After our bath we dried each other off playfully, Harry picked up the locket and placed it over my head.

“So perfect,” he smiled softly stroking down my jaw as I stood in front of naked except the locket. “Let’s get you dressed, you need to stay warm so you can get better.”

He wrapped his arms around me as we walked into the dressing room, I pulled on a pair of black joggers and a big House of Holland jumper which I was pretty sure I had stolen from Henry a few months ago when I had ended up at his house after a night out. Harry carried me down the stairs as I laughed at him but he insisted I was too ill to walk to the lounge.

“Which video shall we start with?” He asked as he pulled a blanket out of the trunk and threw it over me.

“I don’t mind,” I smiled softly, “maybe we should do the wedding video first?”

“Chronological order? How traditional, Louis would frown upon you!” Harry teased as he pulled a dvd out of the cupboard under the television.

“I just want to go from the beginning!” I groaned snuggling under the cover.

He pressed play before sliding in next to me pulling me against his chest as we did what we had done for our previous three anniversaries. Harry pressed a kissed to the side of my head as it showed the both of us getting ready. I had a glass of champagne in my hand as Lou curled my hair, I was laughing at something she was saying and I looked ridiculously happy. The video changed to Harry who was standing in front of a mirror fixing his tie as Louis stood next to him holding two glasses of champagne, they were both laughing as Niall walked across the background holding two empty glasses but lifted both to his lip drinking the dregs, I giggled. The camera was just behind me as I started walking down the aisle as the doorbell rang. Harry paused it instantly as he stood up and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

“I’ll go.” He told me and I smiled.

“I’ll come with you.” I told him going to stand up but he was halfway out the room already.

I yawned as I walked towards the front door, I could hear another male voice respond to Harry making me scrunch my eyebrows together. I made it to the front door to see Damon standing in the doorway, I smiled walking over to Harry and wrapping my arms around his waist.

“Hey Damon.” I squeezed Harry’s side as I felt how tense he was.

“Hey B,” he grinned and Harry wrapped an arm around me protectively, “you didn’t reply last night so I thought I’d pop by and make sure you were okay.”

“She’s fine.” Harry nodded and I pinched his side causing him to jump slightly.

“I’m feeling a bit better, do you want to come in?” I pushed Harry back allowing room for Damon to come in.

“Sure,” He grinned walking through the door.

“Head into the lounge, do you just want a cup of coffee?” I asked and he nodded.

“That’d be awesome.” He ruffled my hair before walking into the lounge.

“What did you do that for?” Harry groaned as he followed me into the kitchen.

“I want you to meet him so you can stop thinking there is anything more there.” I told him as I boiled the kettle.

“Why is he even here?” Harry huffed and I rolled my eyes at him.

“Go in there and play nice, I’ll make the coffee and bring it in.” I pushed him towards the door to the lounge and he groaned before walking into the lounge.

I made the cup of coffee whilst stifling another yawn. I walked out into the room to find them both in an awkward conversation about music. I placed the mug on the table in front of Damon and sat back down next to Harry.

“Thanks for replying to my text by the way.” He playfully glared at me and I rolled my eyes.

Harry reached out and took my hand in his squeezing it softly.

“Sorry we’ve been a bit busy.” I told him and he raised an eyebrow which made me blush, “not like that! I’m sick! Oh god.”

I put my head in my hands as he laughed awkwardly.

“I mean we’ve been busy making me stop throwing up and then this.” I gestured to the duvet and the paused television.

“What’s that?” he asked squinting at the tv, “is that you?”

“It’s our wedding video.” Harry answered.

“We watch it every year.” I bit my lip, “it’s tradition.”

“Wow.” He studied the screen for the moment before standing up and walking over to the screen.

I could see Harry watching him curiously as he stared at the screen showing me walking down the aisle. My wedding dress was backless and my hair was in loose curls tumbling down onto my back. I noticed Harry’s jaw twitch as Damon studied me.

“Want to watch? It’s just getting to the good bit.” Harry’s tone was friendly but I could feel how tense he was.

“Sure.” Damon shrugged sitting back down to watch me walk down the aisle.

“What did Louis say to you?” I asked Harry and he rolled his eyes at me.

“I’m not telling you, you ask this every year.” Harry chuckled and I swatted his chest playfully.

We sat in silence watching the ceremony, the camera zoomed in on our faces as we stood grinning at each other barely listening to what the priest was saying. When we started saying our vows I looked to the side to see Damon biting on his lip watching the screen intently, I was curious as to what he was thinking.

“You both look so happy.” He said softly as Harry picked me up whilst we were kissing on the television.

“One of the happiest days of my life.” Harry told him, “honestly.”

“It looks it.” Damon nodded looking over at us.

Harry placed a kiss on the top of my head before Damon stood up.

“I should probably head off, leave you two to your anniversary. I’ll see you soon yea?” He directed the question at me and I nodded.

“Course. We have two more meetings before you guys head to Oz.” I reminded him of the planned song writing trip and he nodded.

“I’ll see you out.” Harry stood up and the pair disappeared out the room.

He was back a few minutes later sliding onto the sofa next to me and pressing play. He stroked my hair softly as we watch our first dance, I bit my lip remembering how it was at that point of the day when it really hit me that Harry really was mine for life. That I would forever be able to reach up and kiss him. That I would always be able to listen to his thoughts and be there for him when he needed me.

“I love you.” He mumbled into my hair.

“I love you too,” I rolled over to face him, “so much.”

“Good.” He smiled softly push my hair off my face and tilting my chin up, “do you rekon I’d be allowed to kiss you?”

“If you don’t I’ll divorce you.” I told him and the left side of his mouth twitched up slightly.

“Well we couldn’t have that, it wouldn’t really be fair on Darcy.” He murmured and I shook my head.

“She’s at a very impressionable age.” I told him and he hummed.

“I guess I better risk it and kiss you then huh?” he stroked my cheek softly with his thumb as he held my face.

“I think that would be best.” I nodded.

He leant down and pressed the softest of kisses to my lips but I felt it all the way down to the tops of my toes. The hairs on my arms stood up and the butterflies were in a frenzy in my stomach. I opened my eyes to meet his as his lips moved the slightest bit away from mine, I could feel his breath on the wetness of my lips and it was completely intoxicating. We were still for a moment, just taking each other in in the simplest of forms. I was the one to break the stillness as I moved so my lips were just brushing his, I moved my tongue out to trace along his bottom lip slowly my eyes lulling shut. His hands went to my waist tugging me forward, resulting in our lips crashing harder against each other and he parted his lips to mine. It was the classic French kiss which we should have been sharing in Paris but instead we were on the sofa of our house in Primrose Hill after I had spent a good part of the morning with my head down the toilet whilst he rubbed my back but the crushing feeling of love I had felt as I stood in front of him at the front of the church four years ago was still there. I still couldn’t believe that someone as completely and utterly perfect as Harry would ever love someone like me, but he did. Four years on he had flown overnight to see me even though I was sick. So maybe we weren’t spending the night in the Maldives giving each other massages under the stars like we did on our first anniversary. Nor were we dancing under fairy lights on the top of a roof in New York like we had on our second anniversary, or even last year when we had spent the night in the most amazing country house in Ireland. But we were together and as he pulled away and pressed soft kisses up the side of my jaw before going back to kissing me softly again I honestly didn’t care that we were just in our house, in sweatpants and jumpers. I was just so happy to be wrapped up in his arms.

“I’m not wearing a dress and I haven’t given you your present.” I mumbled against his lips.

“I guess we’ll have to have a belated anniversary celebration when we’re in America then, when you’re all better.” He smiled stroking my hair softly.

“Have two anniversaries?” I asked and he nodded making me laugh softly, “I could go for that.”

“Good because you vowed to wear a dress for every anniversary we have and you can’t break a vow.” He reminded me and I giggled.

“I don’t intent to.” I promised snuggling into him, “I love you Harry Styles.”

“Mmmm,” he buried his face in the top of my head, “I love you too Blair Styles.”