Status: Writing <3

Isn't She Lovely?

ThirtyOne

“Okay I’m in the house.” I told him.

“We’re reading it together yea?” he asked and I nodded even though he couldn’t see me.

“Together.” I repeated dumping my bag down and pulling the magazine in front of me.

“You look good on the cover.” He told me and I chuckled nervously, “you alright?”

“No.” I ran my fingers over my name on the cover, the interview I had been so nervous about was now able to be read by thousands of people and I kind of felt like I was going to faint at the thought.

“It’s going to be fine,” he assured me, “it gets checked over by some people at the label before it’s printed.”

“Label hate me. That doesn’t make me feel better.” I sighed.

“You might not be their favourite person but they have a duty to protect us.” He sighed, “ready to read it then?”

“I’m just going to skim read it.” I told him biting the inside of my cheek.

“Okay, I’m reading it now.” Harry opened the magazine at the same time as I did, my eyes instantly drew to the quote which overlayed a photo of me.

I know I’m lucky. I have someone who I love that I can do absolutely nothing with and be at my happiest.

“I like this,” Harry cleared his throat, “I didn’t marry Harry because he’s good looking, I married Harry because he’s beautiful on the inside. He has such a good soul and he can make me laugh, like laugh so hard my stomach hurts and I know that when we’re 85 years old and sat in wheelchairs he’ll still be making me clutch my stomach laughing.”

I hummed as I skipped the introduction and picked up on my first quote.

It hurt when she walked away and it hurt just as badly when she walked back into my life. I don’t think I’ll ever really be okay with it but I have gotten over it. I don’t speak to her and I don’t see her, at this point in my life I have absolutely no desire to. I have two women in my life that have been my mothering figures, they are both incredibly strong and caring people that I try so hard to take after. I’m a mum now as well and I hope I can be half the woman they are. My mum hurt me and I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive her for it but I try not to focus on the hurt she caused when I have a group of people around me that I call my family and I know they care about me just as much as I care about them.

Recently, however, Blair has found out that she has two other siblings. She spoke shyly about them and seemed her most nervous of the entire interview when we asked her questions about them.

They are both lovely and I feel incredibly lucky to be able to try and have a relationship with them, it would have been easy for them to have refused to even attempt to forge some kind of relationship with me. We’re stilling getting to know each other and it’s all really exciting at the moment.

Blair bit her lip and listening curiously as we asked her about her relationship with her husband. She instantly smiled at the mention of his name and played with her wedding ring throughout the interview.

People focus a lot on finding problems in peoples relationships in the press. They always try to find a weak point and then try and blow it out of proportion. Harry and I have been together for a long time and we are happier now than we ever have been. We’re good together and even though we’re miles apart we’re closer than ever.

In many interviews Harry has commented on his daughter and how having her has affected every relationship he has including his marriage to Blair. Curiously Blair just smiled when the topic was brought up, a soft smile that seemed to only be reserved for the mention of her daughter’s name. However when the topic of the press’s involvment in the young girl’s life is brought up there was a certain shift in Blair’s stance and a hardness in her eyes. A mother’s protection.

Darcy is the most important part of our lives. Everything Harry and I do revolves around her. She’s the first thing we speak about when he rings me, my first thought when I wake up in the morning and I worry about her when I’m not with her. We try and keep things normal around her, well we’ve tried to anyway. I’ve found it harder than Harry has with the attention she gets, I often get angry when people are shoving cameras in our faces as we put her in the car or when some guy will follow us around a park. I think I’ve always found it tough that people want to know her so much if that makes sense? She's just a normal little girl. She loves everything pink, is scared of the dark and absolutely idolises her Dad.

Blair paused for a moment as we spoke about the fans always wanting to know more about everyone who has anything to do with the band. She smiles as we mention how people love the five boys she calls best friends but when we mention the fans reaction to her she looks slightly uncomfortable.

I’ve always opted to stay somewhat away from the attention, this is actually the first planned interview I’ve ever done and this has been difficult for me. Mainly because I don’t think I’m honestly of any interest. At the end of the day I’m just a girl who fell in love with a boy and somehow he fell in love with me as well. The fans wanting to know me, who genuinely are just interested in who I am are lovely but then you always have people who want to know you to watch you fall and they’re the people who petrify me. It’s taken me a long time to love myself and then I’ve somehow managed to convince Harry to love me too so the thought of exposing myself to people who might try and ruin that is hard for me. It's hard for anyone. I think people believe I spend my time dodging hate mail from fans. Have I cried over something someone has said to me over twitter? Yes. More times than I’d like to count but then the fans I meet when I sneak out the back of shows are for the most part lovely.

As the inteview wound down Blair admitted to us her nerves approaching the interview, she was a lot less of the larger than life character the media has portrayed her as instead she was softer, more approachable and down to earth. She put it simply herself, she’s just a girl who fell in love with a boy. A boy who happened to be a member of a record breaking boy band, but a boy non the less.


“Wow.” Harry breathed out and I bit my lip going back to read the beginning again, “babe?”

I hummed as my eyes scanned over a couple of quotes I had missed reading the first time.

“You come across perfectly.” He told me and I sighed.

“You don’t think I sound a bit…weird?” I asked and he chuckled

“No you sound like you.” He let out a soft sigh, “makes me miss you.”

“Mmm I miss you too.” I told him closing the magazine and walking upstairs, “in fact I’m packing today.”

“I can not wait to see you.” He told me and I smiled softly as I fell back on the bed.

“It just sucks that Lou and El have cancelled the wedding.” I closed my eyes and heard Harry hum in response, “do you think it’s a good thing?

“I do actually.” He sighed softly and I could imagine him running his hand over his face as he thought about it, “she came out here and they just spent every minute that we didn’t have stuff on in a room talking and everytime they walked out the room they had both been crying. Love doesn’t do that, not love that should last forever. It shouldn’t hurt that much.”

I stayed quiet as my hand absent mindedly found the tattoo on my hip of mind over matter. Maybe love does make you cry, our love sure as hell hurt me.

“Sometimes love does hurt.” I said quietly, “like when you think the trust that the whole relationship is based on isn’t there anymore. That hurts.”

“I know, I know it does and I’m sorry I did that to us.” He sounded hurt and I bit down on my lip.

“We’ve moved past it H, I know that and I love you more than ever. I’m just saying I get where he is, you know? I also get that maybe he doesn’t see it that it hurts too much, that he doesn’t see how he deserves someone who makes him happy all of the time and that wouldn’t hurt him.” I bit the outside of my nail, “I just want to cuddle him.”

“No, I understand what you mean. I think the break might be good for them, you know, to really think about if they want to stay together.” He told me and I made a sound of agreement, “as for wanting to cuddle Louis, I hope that I’m at the top of your list of people you want to hug.”

“Maybe you are,” I shrugged, “maybe you aren’t.”

“Don’t be mean,” He growled making me giggle.

“But you love it when I’m mean,” I bit on my lip and I heard him groan softly, “when I’m dominating and controlling.”

“Blair.” He warned making my stomach clench.

“Fuck.” I groaned pushing my head back into the mattress, “fuck. Fuck.”

“I know.” He huffed, “I think frustrated is putting it mildly right now.”

“I just want to…” I trailed off letting out a growl of frustration.

“You just want to?” He asked and I pursed my lips, “come on B, tell me what you want.”

“Harold.” I warned and he chuckled that low chuckle that made me want to rip his clothes off.

“I should let you pack.” He told me and I glared at the ceiling.

“Or not. We could have phone sex instead?” I offered and he laughed softly.

“But if you don’t pack what will you wear in America?” He asked.

“How about nothing? I’ll just stay in bed being your permanent sex slave.” I offered and he laughed.

“As much as I would love that to happen, you need to pack and I need to go to lunch.” He told me.

“Who are you going to lunch with?” I asked him biting the edge of my thumb.

“Zayn.” He answered and I heard him moving around his room.

“He still hates me.” I told him and he laughed.

“No he doesn’t, he’s just pissed that you keep meddling in his love life.” I could imagine him doing that face when he knows he was right about something, “just like I told you he would be.”

“Shut it you. One of these days Zayn will be happy because it will all work out perfectly.” I huffed and Harry laughed.

“Sure it will. I love you beautiful but I really have to go.” He told me and I groaned.

“You suck.” I pursed my lips as I stared at the ceiling and he chuckled.

“I love you.” He sung down the phone and a smile twitched on my lips.

“I love you too.” I told him before he hung up and I stared at the screen for a moment before I heard the front door close.

I moved to the end of the bed before standing up and opened the door to see Nick walking up the stairs with a big bag in his hand making me squeal.

“Hey love,” he pressed a kiss to my forehead, “Henry made me his delivery bitch.”

“Henry is such a babe.” I grinned taking the bag and walking into the bedroom.

“You’re going on holiday not a catwalk.” Nick huffed, “I fail to see why you get free clothes.”

“Oh someone sounds jealous.’ I teased and he flipped me off but his face had dropped making me pause from rooting around int he bag and turn to him curiously, “alright grump, what’s up?”

“Harold has already fucked off. Henry told me he’s off to the south of france for a month to be inspired,” Nick moved his hands in quotations around the word inspired, “Gill’s off to see her family in Chicago for a couple of weeks and you.”

He glared at me and I put the top I had in my hands down and moved to stand between his legs, resting my hands on his knees.

“You.” He narrowed his eyes at me and I offered him a small smile, “my best friend ever. You’re leaving me as well and not only are you taking yourself away from me you are also taking my favourite ray of sunshine ever as well. My life official sucks.”

He groaned and closed his eyes clapping his hand over his eyes and I bit my lip. I’d only ever seen Nick genuinely upset a few times and it broke my heart to see him like this. I knew that dispite his choice of over dramatic words he meant them. I moved over to the the side of him laying down and pulling him into a hug. He rested his head in the crook of my neck as he pulled my body closer to his.

“I’m going to miss you so much.” I whispered into his ear and he squeezed me back in response, “I love you Nicholas.”

“I love you more Blair.” He huffed, “I wouldn’t leave you behind.”

“Come with us,” I smiled softly even though I knew that wasn’t a feasible option, “bring that radio show of yours on the road.”

“I wish I could but you know how much of a fun sucker Finchy is.” He pouted pulled away from me so our faces were level.

“We could get Harry to ring up and work his charm?” I suggested and he his lips parted in a smile, I reached forward and ran a hand through his quiff, “I love you Nick, I hate that I’m leaving you.”

He hummed and reached forward messing up my hair before standing up and walking over to the two other bags that were filled with new clothes I needed to sort through. He picked them up and placed them next to the bag he’d brought from Henry and grinned.

“Let’s pack your bag yea?” He asked and I nodded standing up grabbing him into a quick hug which he returned before sitting back on the bed cross legged, “now that’s enough of the emotional stuff, you’re so dramtic Blair. God I don’t know how young Harold puts up with you.”

I laughed softly shaking my head as I pulled out a couple of things and Nick instantly grabbed them from my hands and discarded them making a face at them.

“I caught your show today.” I told him a little while later as I stood in front of him in a matching skirt and top combo from Henry’s new collection.

“Did you now? I love that, put those nude heels on.” He told me.

“Yea you were chatting about me.” I glared at him slipping my feet in the heels, “fuck these are high.”

“They make your legs go on for years.” He chuckled and I couldn’t help but look down at them.

“I don’t think I can wear them.” I pursed my lips and Nick shook his head.

“Wear those heels and you’re going to get laid.” Nick shook his head and I laughed.

“Oh honey, I don’t need the help of these heels to get laid.” I smirked and he laughed.

“You’re something else.” He shook his head as I slipped my feet out of my heels and walked back into the dressing playfully swaying my hips, “if only I was straight huh?”

“If only.” I winked and he threw his head back laughing at me.

I wiggled out the clothes and we resumed how he’d spoken about the time I laughed whilst drinking red wine and sprayed it all over his white shirt on his radio show today.

“Just quit talking about me, it’s embarrassing.” I groaned and he laughed. I started pulling on the next outfit scrunching my nose up at the top.

“You should be flattered. It’s almost like I’m obsessed with you.” I heard him retort and I laughed shaking my head.

“But you’re not cause the only person you’ve ever been obsessed with is yourself!” I called out and he snorted.

“True that sister.” He laughed and I couldn’t help but laugh at the accent he put on.

“So you and Jeremy?” I asked walking out of the room and he pulled a face shaking his head pointing at the top.

“No. Just no.” He told me and I put my hand on my hip.

“Is that about my question or my attire cause I’m not sure.” I crossed my arms and he chuckled.

“I hate the top. Get rid of it, it’s offensive to my eyesight.” He told me, “but also no to Jeremy.”

“And why is that?” I asked as I pulled the top over my head and chucked it on the pile at the bottom of the bed.

“Cor Monroe are you sure Harry would be okay with you half naked in front of me?” Nick asked and I laughed.

“He’d probably care more that you still call me Monroe.” I grinned as I walked back into the dressing room.

“That’s cause women are icky to me!” Nick sung and I shook my head at him even though he couldn’t see me.

“So Jeremy?” I asked and he sighed dramatically.

“It couldn’t work out,” he told me solemnly

“And why is that?” I pulled the shorts off me folding them and placing them in a suitcase.

“Cause he ordered veal when we went out.” He told me and I actually walked out the dressing room to look at him, “what? Why are you glaring at me?”

“Are you being serious or is this one of those jokes I don’t get?” I asked putting my hands on my hips as i stood in front of him in my underwear.

“I hate people who eat veal.” He huffed crossing his arms and I shook my head.

“Is that seriously the only reason?” I asked in disbelief.

“He also wore a shirt that was the Burberry check and well…I hate that print.” He told me and I shook my head throwing my hands up in the air as I walked back into the dressing room, “oh come on! You hate it as well!”

“I wouldn’t break up with Harry if he wore it though!” I replied and Nick snorted.

“You wouldn’t sit through a meal at Groucho with him wearing it though would you.” Nick stated and I laughed.

“At this point? Yea I probably would.” I sighed and Nick groaned.

“Jeez you two don’t half go on about missing each other.” Nick tutted playfully and I rolled my eyes.

“Shut up, god I need to tell Henry that my boobs are bigger than he seems to think they are.” I moaned and Nick laughed.

“A little stuck in there babe?” He asked and I huffed as the doorbell went.

“Be a dear and get that?” I asked as I continued to fight with the dress to get it down over my boobs.

“You are so demanding!” He groaned before I heard him leave the bedroom.

I groaned struggling to pull the dress on, it finally pulled down and I sighed in satisfaction before looking in the mirror. To say the dress has been difficult to put on it looked like it had been made for me, I smoothed my hands down my sides and turned to the side.

“She’s just in here.” Nick said to whoever the person was.

I stepped out the dressing room before hearing the person respond. Damon coughed when he saw me and Nick’s eyes went wide.

“Hey.” I smiled trying to ignore the looks from the pair.

“You look…” Damon trailed off and I saw him swallow whatever the end of the sentence was.

“Insane. You look insane.” Nick grinned stepping in front of Damon and grinning, “our favourite boy isn't gong to know what hit him.”

I laughed softly as Damon shifted awkwardly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“Everything okay Damon?” I asked and he nodded.

“Yea, I just saw this and brought it for you.” He held up the magazine I was currently on the front of, “but it’s stupid, you probably already have it.”

“Yea I do but thank you, that’s really sweet.” I smiled and Nick picked up the copy he’d been reading earlier off the bed.

“It’s a great read right?” Nick grinned and Damon nodded.

“You’re good at interviews, though I already knew that.” He grinned and I shrugged.

“I guess I’ve spent a lot of time watching the pros.” I shrugged and Damon nodded, “so Damon you know Nick right?”

“No.” He shook his head at the same time Nick said yes and I giggled.

“I say yes because I feel like I already know you,” Nick said to Damon, “cause obviously you’re friends with my bestie and you’ve met our lovely third wheel.”

“Nick is Harry’s best friend as well.” I told Damon who nodded.

“Yea, you two are always photographed together.” Damon nodded, “I hope what you’ve been told is all good.”

“Oh I’ve been told all of your dirty little secrets.” Nick grinned and flicked his eyes deliberately from Damon to me whilst I fought back the glare and Damon coughed awkwardly.

“Sorry, what?” He asked looking confused.

“He’s just being a dick.” I pushed Nick onto the bed.

“Right.” He nodded, “I was actually also popping by to see if we could go out tonight for dinner or something? Cause I leave for Oz tomorrow and obviously you’re off to America.”

“To see her darling husband.” Nick grinned before looking down at his phone and sniggering about whatever he was typing.

“Twat.” I muttered and Damon gave me a half smile in amusement, “tonight? Yea I can do that I think. I just need to get someone to watch Darcy.”

“Not me, I’ve got a hot date.” Nick grinned and I snorted, “what?”

“Ringing up your booty call after watching Bake off does not equal a hot date.” I crossed my arms and he flipped me off.

“Fuck you Monroe at least I’ll get laid tonight.” He teased and Damon blushed slightly making Nick grin as he spotted it, “you have to wait a few more days till you and Harry can make up for lost time.”

Damon scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and I glared at Nick. I knew Nick was only playing half for his own amusement but also out of loyalty to Harry but it didn’t stop me feeling bad for Damon. I didn’t know if Damon really did like me like that but it didn’t make a difference to me. He hadn’t ever stepped over the line and he knew that I was Harry’s, that I would never be anybody else’s.

“I’ll ring up Harley, he owes me a favour.” I smiled softly at Damon, “8 okay for dinner?”

“Course, I’ll ring around and try and get a table.” He pushed his hands in his pocket and I bit my lip.

“Don’t worry, I’ll sort it out.” I told him grabbing my phone, “where do you fancy?”

“Are you pulling the Styles card?” Nick asked amused and I shrugged.

“If I have to. So Damon, anywhere in London. Where do you fancy?” I cocked an eyebrow at him and he chuckled.

xxxx


I ran a hand through my hair fluffing it up slightly before I got out the car. I kept my eyes down as the cameras started flashing, I would never understand why they wanted pictures of me and I was sure it would always annoy me. They started yelling things out at me but over the years I’d gotten better at blocking them out, putting myself in my own world that was until a hand grabbed my wrist. I paused and looked to see who’d gotten hold of me, it was a young girl about fourteen and she was smiling up at me. I could hear her parents calling to her but she remained next to me.

“You’re Harry’s wife Blair.” She said and I nodded even though what she said was a statement rather than a question.

“I am indeed, are you a one direction fan?” I asked her keeping my eyes cast downwards to avoid the flashes that were still going off.

“Yea, I love them.” She smiled and then moved to squeeze my hand, “my sister says you’re going to break Harry’s heart.”

“Pardon?” I leant down as she leant up to my ear, confused as to what I was hearing from this young girl.

“Please don’t break his heart, I love him.” She said in my ear and I blinked a few times.

“I promise, I love him very much.” I told her and she bit her lip, “you’re sister is wrong, I’d never hurt Harry.”

“Okay.” She nodded then smiled at me, “you’re very beautiful.”

“So are you sweetheart,” I took my hand from hers and stroked the top of her head, “have a lovely night.”

“And you.” She beamed before walking away.

I continued forward and up the steps to the restaurant, I handed my black jacket to the lady who asked for it before being led to the table. Damon was already seated and texting on his phone, he looked up at smiled when he saw me approaching and as I neared him he stood up and pressed a kiss to my cheek in greeting.

“Can I get you a drink?” The waiter asked and I smiled ordering a glass of rose wine.

“You alright?” Damon asked as we were left alone.

“Course,” I flashed him a smile before looking at the menu but I could feel his gaze on me, “what?”

“What’s wrong?” he asked leaning in slightly.

“Nothing,” I bit down on my lip before sighing and closing the menu to look at him, “a little girl just stopped me outside and asked me not to break Harry’s heart.”

“Why would she ask that?” He furrowed his eyebrows and I snorted.

“Are you blind? We’re everywhere Damon, literally on every magazine cover and yet I’m still sat here.” I bit my lip twirling my ring around my finger, “it just sucks that people think that of me, of us.”

“Thank you.” He said softly and I looked at him confused, “for sticking with me, we’re friends and I care about you Blair. I know that this has been tough on you but you still wanted to be my friend. I know Harry doesn’t trust me.”

I opened my mouth but he held his hand up.

“I know he doesn’t Blair, I’m not blind and I don’t blame him. He’s friends with Tom Atkin, I have no doubt he knows my past and yet he’s still been nothing but polite to me. He knows what mistakes I’ve made yet he’s still letting me sit here with his wife, his beautiful funny intelligent wife that any man would be crazy not to fall for.” He cleared his throat and chuckled lightly at the blush on my cheeks.

I felt slightly uneasy as to where he was taking this and was grateful when the woman came to take our order after giving me my glass of wine. I settled on the same thing I always had when I came with Harry for starters but his usual main course instead of mine, he had always been better at ordering food than me. I watched as Damon flirted with the waitress which put me a little more at ease, he if wanted to try and be with me surely he wouldn’t be flirting with the waitress?

“As I was saying,” he leant forward as we were left alone again, “Harry asked me not to hurt you.”

“What?” I scrunched my eyebrows together, “when?”

“When I came to your house on your anniversary. He didn’t warn me to stay away from you, he just asked me not to hurt you and I’m not going to lie I was shocked.” He rubbed the back of his neck, “he’s such a decent guy and you obviously love each other. I don’t want to get in the way of that.”

“Thank you.” I reached across the table and squeezed his hand.

“So aside from that,” he cleared his throat awkwardly and I grinned moving away from him, “how are you?”

“Giddy.” I admitted sipping on my wine.

“You leave in two days right?” He asked and I nodded, “where are you going before the tour starts then?”

“LA,” I shrugged, “Harry picked out a really nice hotel so we’ll spend a week there before we meet up with the rest of the crew. It’ll just be the three of us.”

“And the worlds media.” Damon pointed out and I rolled my eyes.

“It’s worth it.” I shrugged, “I’d be photographed every day till I die as long as I get to keep Harry.”

“I can’t imagine it.” He admitted and I raised an eyebrow questioningly, “being that in love.”

“Have you ever loved someone?” I asked him curiously as our starters arrived.

“One person.” He looked at his plate, “but it didn’t last as long as I wanted it to.”

“That’s what a lot of men say.” I grinned and he laughed, “sorry, inappropriate. You were saying.”

“She was married.” He told me and I hummed, “but I suppose you already guessed that.”

“Sort of. So you loved her?” I asked.

“At the time I thought it was love but looking back I’m not so sure.” He shrugged, “it was really messy and intense. I think she loved the drama of it all more than she ever loved me.”

“That could mess a person up.” I bit my lip and he hummed, “you should write about her.”

“Maybe.” He agreed, “so did you finish packing?”

I grinned and launched into telling him about how I’d had to go out and buy another suitcase for all my new clothes. Our dinner was filled with all the laughter, jokes and wine you’d expect from two friends who didn’t have any fixed plans to see each other for many months. We’d always been friends but since the conversation at the beginning of the meal I felt a shift between us. The nagging comments about Damon that I had in the back of my mind from various sources had disappeared. I liked Damon, he made me laugh and was so intelligent and hopefully one day soon he’ll find someone and be able to understand how Harry and I can love each other as much as we do. Maybe I’ll add him to my list of people to match make.

Heard you’re out with Damon, say hello from me. Zayn says he’ll ring you tomorrow if you promise to give the match making a break. I love you beautiful, by the way I love the dip dye Lou’s done on your hair. You look amazing tonight.

How do you know I look good tonight? Have you been pap stalking me? Did you sweet talk him into this? I’ll give it a rest for a month then I’m back to finding him his Harry. I love you, I’m giddy with excitement to see you and have you all to myself for a week. You, Darcy and me. Just how it should be.
♠ ♠ ♠
So I'm back at uni which hopefully means I'll get back into writing more regularly.

If you're still reading and putting up with me thank you so much. You honestly don't know how much it means to me that people still care about this little world that I have in my head. The top section of the magazine article is mainly to give you a better understanding of where Blair is at now she's a little more grown up, it's shockingly written though so I apologise. My journalism teacher would murder me.

Anyone kind of feel like Mibba has gotten quite quiet? Anyway, let me know what you think :) Predictions are always welcome.

Peace.Love.The1975