Isn't She Lovely?

“I know,” I ran a hand through my hair, “just talk to them Damon.”

“They aren’t listening!” He groaned and I bit my lip, “they want to drop the band Blair. They want it to just be me.”

“Who is saying this though? I haven’t heard anything.” I sat down on the sofa and grabbed Harry’s ipad from the coffee table.

“Management.” He huffed, “can they do this Blair?”

“Give me one second,” I typed in my password for my emails and scrolled through the 20 new ones I’d received over night, “I haven’t gotten anything about it, do you want me to just ring Simon?”

“What do I do if this is it?” He asked in a small voice, “I’ve worked my ass off to get here, it isn’t my fault that the guys are all slacking.”

“I know.” I put my head in my hand and sighed, “they need to stop going out and partying and settle into recording. You guys haven’t even released an album yet.”

“I know.” He groaned, “they’re partying like we’re the fucking Rolling Stones.”

“They are sick live.” I murmered and he let out a breathy laugh.

“You’re reassurance that I’m not going to have to kick 4 of my best mates to the curb is really great.” He said sarcastically and I smiled as I looked at my feet.

“Would you do it?” I asked biting my lip looking up as I heard Harry walk in the room carrying Darcy.

“I don’t know,” he sighed, “I really don’t know.”

“It’s a tough one,” I watched as Harry sat down with Darcy on his lap picking up a book from her selection of toys, “whatever you do it has to be your decision. Don’t let someone force you into something you don’t want to do.”

Harry looked up at me curiously as Damon sighed loudly on the other end of the phone.

“This is your career Damon, don’t let yourself turn into a puppet.” I told him, “you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

“I have some serious thinking to do, don’t I?” He asked and I hummed, “how are you anyway B?”

“Stressed,” I admitted and he chuckled, “I have a lot on, Simon wants me to meet this new band when we’re in their city and I just have a lot of stuff on in general. But I’m dealing.”

“Are you alright?” he asked and I nodded even though he couldn’t see me, “sorry for adding this to your load.”

“Don’t worry about it, we’re friends Damon. I told you I was here if you needed me.” I ignored the roll of Harry’s eyes, “we’ll figure this out. I promise.”

“Okay, well I should probably let you go. Say hey to Harry for me and thanks for everything Blair.” He said sincerely before hanging up.

I groaned throwing my phone to the side and putting my hands over my eyes. I could feel Harry watching me but I didn’t care. Despite telling the others I was pregnant three weeks ago I was still ridiculously stressed. I had been up all night with a cramp in my side which would not go away resulting in me feeling particularly stressed today.

“You alright over there?” Harry asked as Darcy tried to read from the book in front of her.

“No.” I shook my head, “do you think people do things purposely to annoy me?”

“What’s wrong?” He laughed softly until I peeked out from under my arm to glare at his laugh.

“Damon just rang and management are telling him that they only want him taking this forward.” I ran a hand through my hair and Harry looked confused.

“But they’ve been Rebellion since they were all in school together.” He bit his lip, “what’s he thinking?”

“That he’s been with them since school.” I sat up and rested my head in my hand sighing heavily, “I need to ring Simon and find out what the fudge is going on. I also need another painkiller, can you chuck me them from that bag by your foot?”

“Painkiller?” He asked tossing me the packet, “again?”

“Really bad cramps.” I told him standing up to lean over the table to the bottle of water, “hurts like hell.”

“Maybe we should get you to a doctor?” He suggested and I shook my head taking my pill.

“It’s just cramp Haz,” I walked over to him and sat on the arm of the sofa next to him and Darcy, “I used to get them all the time with munchkin here.”

I ruffled her hair as Harry wrapped an arm around my waist; he leant forward and kissed my stomach. I swatted him away and he laughed revealing those lovely dimples that I adored so much. I watched as he turned back to Darcy and pointed at a word pronouncing it slowly smiling as she started to copy him. It was moments like this that I cherished so much, the moments where it was just the three of us doing normal family things and I couldn’t help but rest my hand on my stomach. I allowed my mind to wander to the future where Harry, Darcy, baby Styles and I would have moments like this one. I would hope that they would be more regular than they had been with Darcy.

“What are you thinking about?” Harry asked and I shrugged.

“What are we going to do when the baby comes?” I asked and he bit his lip.

“I guess we need to have the conversation about me staying in One Direction don’t we?” He sighed and I groaned.

“I hate this conversation.” I pursed my lips and he chuckled.

“So do I.” He rubbed my back softly, “but I love you and our little family. We need to do what’s best for our family.”

“Band dynamics are obviously the theme of my day today.” I rolled my eyes and he smiled softly, “we have a while to decide this.”

“I know.” He pressed a kiss to the closest part of me to him which happened to be my arm, “plenty of time, no need to stress about it B.”

“Right.” I nodded standing up and stretching, “I’m off to get a cup of tea and something to eat. I skipped breakfast this morning because I was on the phone, I’m absolutely starving now.”

Harry rolled his eyes and I bent down to press a soft kiss to his lips before kissing Darcy on the head and walking out the room. I couldn’t get my mind off of the situation with Damon and the impending discussion Harry and I had to have concerning his future in the band. I wondered for a moment if the boys knew that we had to have this conversation, if the possibility had crossed any of their minds that doing this with two babies would be too much for Harry. They had seen the way he was everytime he had to be parted from Darcy, they had seen the relief when he saw her physically lift from his shoulders and I know that those things would only get worse when the new baby came, when it was double the pain for him.

“Looking a bit chunky there Blair.” Taylor stopped me in my tracks.

“Fuck off.” I rolled my eyes at her.

“Why did your brother have to leave?” She twirled a piece of hair around her finger biting down on her red lips as she watched my reaction, “he was such fun.”

“What is wrong with you?” I put my hand on my hip and shook my head at her, “seriously, this is ridiculous.”

“He was kind of cute,” she leant against the wall and I pursed my lips, “but do you want to know the best bit about him?”

“If it’s sexual I swear to God I will hurt you.” I narrowed my eyes at her and she giggled.

“Nah, he was pretty average in that department. Mind you everybody seems pretty average once you’ve had sex with Harry Styles. Don’t you think?” She cocked her head to the side and I couldn’t stop the growl from rising up in my throat, “what I was actually referring to was the reaction from you. It was pretty awesome.”

“You’re sick in the head, you know that right?” I sighed and she laughed.

“He thinks you hate him by the way,” she called out as I walked away from her, “I think he prefers me to you anyway.”

I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate my breathing instead of the anger I could feeling bubbling through my veins. My side twinged and my hand immediately went to hold it and try and massage the cramp away. I sucked in a breath and tried to tune out the comments she was calling down the corridor about the lack of communication with my brother since I had heard him having sex with the one human in the world I actually hated more than my mother. I walked into the kitchen and saw Tina the lady in charge of catering for the tour chopping up some carrots for lunch.

“Hey,” I smiled walking over to her, “you know you love me?”

“Did you miss breakfast again Blair?” She asked tutting as I nodded, “that’s not good for you, breakfast is the most important meal of the day and you’ve been looking a little under the weather recently sweetheart. You need to look after yourself.”

“I’m fine,” I defended and she raised an eyebrow.

“I have raised four daughters, don’t try and lie to me.” She shook her head as she moved to start cooking me breakfast.

“I just feel a bit weird,” I admitted biting on the side of my thumb as I sat on the counter watching her work, “I can cook if you want? I don’t want to put you out your way.”

“Nonsense, you look like you could do with a rest.” She smiled and I sighed thanking her and pulling my phone out to check my messages.

I had a few from Nick and Jenny both checking in on how I was feeling, how the baby was and what the situation with Taylor was like. I opened my contacts and my finger landed on my Dad’s details hovering over it as I bit on the inside of my mouth.

“Penny for your thoughts?” A voice next to me asked and I turned to see Louis.

“Just thinking about ringing my Dad,” I told him and held out my hand which he raised an eyebrow to, “my penny please.”

“You’re a trust fund baby that works ridiculously hard for Syco and you married Harry Styles, you have no need for my penny!" Louis put an arm over my shoulders as he batted my hand away, “Personally I think you should ring him, tell him the good news.”

“Who are you telling good news to?” Harry wandered into the kitchen pressing a kiss to Tina’s cheek as he passed her.

“My Dad.” I pursed my lips and Louis jumped off the counter heading over to the kettle.

“Cup of tea?” He asked and I nodded smiling at him.

“Always.” Harry grinned taking Louis place, “you okay?”

“Sure, where’s Darcy?” I asked and he looked concerned at my answer.

“Zayn and Niall took her to the stage, Niall is so obsessed with trying to get her to play drums and what do you mean sure?” He pressed his lips together watching me.

“I just feel a bit off,” I shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“Like off physically or off off?” He asked and I shrugged resting my forehead on his shoulder.

“I’ll tell you after I’ve had something to eat.” I mumbled, “maybe it’ll make me feel better.”

“Hopefully.” He put his arm around me rubbing my shoulder and pressing a kiss to my head, “did you want to tell your Dad?”

“He hasn’t spoken to me all tour, what makes you think he wants to speak to me now?” I asked and he sighed resting his lips against my head as he hummed.

I reached for a pen on the side and started doodling on Harry’s hand, he didn’t react further than smiling against my head and I tried to concentrate on the drawing rather than how off kilter I felt. The flower started to take shape when Harry finally moved to admire my artwork, Louis appeared with a cup tea for both Harry and I before going back to fetch his own.

“I like it,” Harry smiled as I shaded in part of a petal.

“If you get it tattooed onto you I’ll divorce you.” I told him keeping my gaze on my drawing and he laughed.

“But it’s so good!” His tone was playful and made me smile.

“It’s in a stupid place and would obstruct your cross.” I shook my head leaning to the side to pick up the cup of tea and took a sip.

“Here you go sweetheart.” Tina walked over and I smiled.

“Thank you,” I moved to sit on a stool, “you’re a star.”

“Just feel better okay? You’re pretty vital around here.” She smiled before walking out of the kitchen with a packet of cigarettes in her hand.

Louis pulled a stool around as I started eating the breakfast Tina had made me. Harry was spinning my phone around in his hand and Louis was texting someone before he sighed heavily.

“Have you spoken to your mum recently?” Louis asked.

“Nope.” I shook my head taking a bite of my toast, “why?”

He didn’t say anything but looked at Harry who looked confused, Louis pursed his lips and shifted awkwardly.

“Why?” Harry asked and Louis took a deep breath.

“She spoke to your Dad and told him you were pregnant.” Louis blurted out and I blinked.

“What?” I gaped and Harry moved to stand behind me his hand resting on my shoulder.

“My mum just text me asking if you were pregnant.” He spun his phone around, “so I asked her why and she said she had a phone call from your Dad asking her about it.”

“He rang your mum.” I stated quietly looking down at my plate and pushing it away to rest my face in my hands, “he didn’t ring me. Why wouldn’t he ring me?”

“Apparently he was really angry.” Louis told me softly reaching out to stroke my arm as Harry tried to pull me into him.

“Can I…” I stood up pushing Harry away gently, “I need space. I just need…I need to be.”

I walked out the room running a hand through my hair, I nearly ran into Liam who looked confused as I just nodded at him and continued walking. My was stomach twisting and turning, he hadn’t even rung me. He’d heard that I might be pregnant with his second grandchild and he chose to ring Jay instead of me. He really didn’t want to talk to me and I took a sharp breath in as a shot of cramp went up my side.

“Looking a bit peaky there Blair,” Taylor walked out of her dressing room as I walked past, she fell into step next to me, “and a bit chunky.”

“Fuck off.” I hissed and she giggled, “I mean it Taylor, I am not in the mood for this.”

“Did someone not let you get your own way,” she mocked and pouted, “poor baby Blair. It must be so tough when things don’t go your way.”

“Shut the fuck up right now.” I spun on my heel and pushed her against the wall, “you don’t know anything about me Taylor. You go around sprouting snarky comments about me and make digs at me in interviews and I’m so fucking sick of it. I’m sick of pretending everything is sweetness and light around you. I hate you. I fucking hate you. You’re nothing but a desperate manipulative back stabbing bitch and I really hope one day you get what’s coming to you.”

“Been working on that speech for very long?” She asked looking down at me and I narrowed my eyes glaring up at her hating that she had a height advantage.

“Unlike you I don’t need time to come up with intelligent things to say.” I shook my head, “everyone thinks your some kind of song writing genius but you’re not. You’re just a bitter little girl who feels like the world owes her something. It sucks that all those guys broke your heart and I genuinely feel sorry for you that you don’t have a love like Harry and I have. I really do. But can you not see how fucking pathetic it is that you’re still here fighting for him? Fighting for someone who is married with a child. For fucksake Taylor, Harry doesn’t want you!”

“He wanted me in New York.” Taylor pushed me back and I stumbled slightly as she backed me against the opposite wall, “he wanted me and he had me. He told me how much he cared about me, he kissed me and I knew he loved me.”

“He was pissed at me Taylor!” I threw my hands up, “he thought I was fucking his best friend.”
“You think the world revolves around you.” She narrowed her eyes at me.

“No, I just know Harry’s does.” I told her firmly, “our worlds revolve around each other. They always have done ever since I joined their first tour. From that meeting on our worlds revolved around each other, selfishly so in some cases and we hurt people. I’m sorry that you were one of those people. I really am, but I can’t let you go around here thinking that you have some right to him. You don’t.”

She narrowed her eyes at me and I gasped loudly grabbing my side as another sharp pain went down my side.

“Oh my god.” I tried to catch my breath and Taylor’s eyes widened watching as I grabbed hold of a box that held stage equipment, “oh my…fuck.”

I took another deep loud breath and Taylor back away slightly as my jaw twitched at the pain.

“Should I get Harry?” She asked her voice shaking and I closed my eyes hissing as the pain increased.

I nodded and I heard her start to run down the corridor, she was yelling his name and I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I felt like I was going to throw up, I tried to focus on a spot on the floor but the room started to spin which didn’t the help the nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach and I bit down on my lip urging myself to just focus. I started taking short deep breaths like I had been taught to do when I was in labor with Darcy, thinking that it might help calm down the fact that my heart felt like it was about to burst out my chest.

“Blair!” I heard Harry’s voice and I spun to look at him but the movement made the world spin and I couldn’t stop myself from falling off of the box I was perched on.

I groaned as hit the floor and Harry called out again, I vaguely felt him pick me up in his arms and yell at someone to get an ambulance but I lost my fight with conscious the room turning black and silent.