Final Curtain

Mel's POV

Anxiety was a monster growing inside of me. I stood by the door, staring at it intently. Aric and Anna left, to where I didn't know—I didn't want to. I had pretty much forced Nathaniel to go into our room and stay there. Pacey was coming over right now. I was nervous—a mess of out-of-control nerves. It was one thing to think about what you're going to say, it's another to actually say it. The more I waited the more my heartbeat accelerated—I wondered if people felt like this before having heart failure. Did it speed up so much that it could explode?

Stiffness gripped my body inside and out. I was utterly petrified when the ding-dong from the doorbell showed up. I should just walk over to the door and get it over with, it would be nice to get rid of one problem. But who was I kidding? It wouldn't just go away because of one talk. It was never that simple—never.

Before opening the door I breathed in and out. I thought of things I liked, I tried to dose my fear. Just before putting my hand around the knob, I saw how they were sweaty. I hadn't noticed but all of my clothes felt like fire against my skin, it was absolutely suffocating. I had to get a grip. This wasn't just for me—it was for Nate and Anna. Pacey wasn't the police, he wasn't going to interrogate me. He had no reason to, because I wasn't a crazy lunatic who killed people without a justifiable reason—but I was a killer. Argh, this wasn't the moment for guilt trips. I rubbed my hands on my jeans, then finally, with a last shaky breath the door opened.

“Hey, huh... sorry for...” A very distraught-looking Pacey stammered swallowing multiple times—I wasn't the only one sweating.

Getting my mouth to work was easier than expected, “It's fine... just come in. Sit,” I just hoped it would be as easy to shut up, I didn't want to tell him things I shouldn't.

“You're alone?”

“Yeah,” I looked down the hallway feeling evil for forcing him to stay there while I handled business. “Hum, Nate... Nate's not home he's out—not here at all...” I said pursing my lips.

Pacey's gaze turned up, following mine.

“Did you lock him in the bedroom?” My eyes had to be really anxious—he read me like a book, not good.

“No, of course not. I mean, he's out of the house—apartment...” I gave up when he smiled a tiny smile, it didn't reach his eyes—but with the news he'd received... it didn't surprise me in the least.

“Ha, you're a terrible liar.”

“I know,” I tried not to drag it on too much. That was a really big problem right now. “I told him to stay in there so we could talk more privately, I didn't think you'd like him to be here... for this talk.”

Pacey's dark eyes—the ones that haunted me—locked with mine. “Listen about that, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before.” His jet black head fell, chin touching his chest.

I sat in front of him trying to act normal. I just wanted my legs to stop their insane shaking.

“Huh?”

“About Parker,”

“Oh,” I breathed. “Ginger... she mentioned it. I wasn't going to say anything because it was Ginger who told me and... you hadn't told me and...”

“And we're broken up.” The statement was terribly broken, I wanted nothing more than to hug him, but if my fingers brushed his hand he'd feel me tremble.

“So, what happened?” Like I didn't know.

“I don't know. He just went missing. He stopped showing up for classes—he went missing.”

A lump in my throat was forcefully dislodge so I could keep up the charade, “And...?”

“And... about two days ago the police got this anonymous tip about Parker being seen going into a house, never coming out of it. That house isn't a house anymore. Its rubble—burnt down rubble. They say that the house was either burned down or... blown up to pieces.” A dark chuckle rippled the air startling me to some level—I'd never heard Pacey being so... well, dark. “The strangest thing is there isn't another house or anyone nearby.”

“But you said they found...”

“Cyrus' dog-tags, he always carried around. He never took them off.” His hands rubbed together feverishly. “Which means...” Pacey's voice got lower, his hand got wiped from his forehead—it was dripping water. “Which means... that...” This moment was too agonizing and, still, there I was. I was sitting beside my best friend holding the answers, knowing Parker was dead—I couldn't tell him. I had to watch him suffer so me and other people I loved wouldn't.

“He's... he's not dead. He might be alive.” Oh my God I'm lying, I'm lying! I'm lying to my best friend... “He might be alive, Pacey.” Please, someone, make this stop.

“I'm not so sure... I... I don't know.” This was torture, not just for me or him—for both. “Damn—he's like my brother, Mel. And... I already lost Cyrus, now losing Parker...?” A rough breath left him. “It's like my life is falling apart, you know? Ginger? She won't even look at me.” I knew how that felt. To see your life crumble in front of you, not being able to stop it. I knew the despair. “The worst thing is that... we might never know. We might never know what happened to him... but they think—they he's dead.”

“That's...” What could I say? Nothing would make this right, not even the truth. It wouldn't bring Parker back. “That's horrible.”

“It's...” Pacey began—then jerked his head up. Eyes boring into mine. “Hey, you were with him, weren't you?”

I scooted backward, hoping he didn't find it strange. “Me? When?”

He nodded to himself.

“When you were in your road trip five months ago, weren't you? Philadelphia.”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was. I went there to get my CD's but I didn't find them—because he's so messy, you know? So I left. I just met with him once at a club he hung out in—the... the...”

“Blue Vine,”

“Yes,” I forced the squeak. “Yeah, we met there. He gave me his house key and I went over there and couldn't find the CD's. I left the house keys in his mailbox and went away. I never saw him after that.” Which is true, I just saw his chopped off ear, but he didn't want to know that. “That's what happened.”

“Did he tell you anything? Was something wrong with him?” Pacey looked like a detective on a hot trail.

My lungs begged for oxygen, I couldn't provide very well. “I don't know, but... we didn't really talk much—like five minutes. I had no idea what was going on in his life.” Anna's idea worked like a beacon in the fog. “Except for... maybe... there was this girl he was sort of seeing.”

“A girl?”

My nails dug into the couch.

“He sounded pretty hooked on her.”

“You're sure?” Nope.

“Positive.”

“That's weird.”

Red flags flared. “Why's that weird?”

“He never told me anything.”

“It might have been recent. That's all he told me. He asked about Nate, so I asked about his love life. That was it.”

Pacey looked let down—who could blame him?

“Do you know that girl's name?”

“No, I don't think he even said it.”

His mouth parted, nothing came out. We sat there for a while until a music flew from him—a pocket. Glancing at his phone he got up in a haste. He looked so pale... I was afraid he'd pass out. Was he alright to be on his own?

“Look I have to go—it's my Mom calling and... I have to go.”

“Whatever you need, you know I'm here for you.” I wanted to sound honest, I wanted to be there for him, but I didn't know if I could live up to it.

“Yeah, I know that.” He stopped at the threshold. “I'm sorry.”

“About what?”

Another smile took his lips—turning sadder by the minute. “About me not being here for you when you lost your parents.”

“I was the one who wasn't here.” I tried for a little joke; his smile came out a grimace. “But thanks again. Don't go through a guilt trip, it's over. It's done.”

“I'm still sorry. I've been a really lousy best friend.”

He had no idea how bad of a friend I was being right this second. “Believe me you haven't. You've been the bestest friend in the whole world.”

“Bestest is not a...” He trailed off cracking up a bit, it was hollow—void. I couldn't actually tell this was Pacey, the lighthearted guy who I'd grown up with.

“A word, I know. Don't teach me English.” The phone began ringing anew. “Go, your Mom...”

Pacey went with a wordless goodbye. As soon as the door slammed behind him I felt my legs jelloey. I walked back once—not more because a pair of arms embraced my waist, lifting me off the ground. A set of lips pressed side-to-side to mine, I sighed blissfully.

“Did you just lie?” Nate's grin really wasn't appropriate for the moment. “You just lied. I am so proud of you.” He sat on the couch, I wriggled in his lap.

“I locked you in the bedroom!” I hissed rubbing my temples.

He snorted throwing his head back.

“I know how to pick a lock.”

“Don't talk about picking locks. It brings me bad thoughts...”

“Sorry about that.” He feathered kisses down my neck—stopping below my ear. “But you just lied—it wasn't half-bad either. The start was a little rocky, but you picked up the slack towards the middle.”

“It's a start.” I caught myself mumbling, his lips made wonderful things happen—like distracting me from all around us.

“A start? You planning to make a habit out of it?”

I blinked, “Huh—I hope not. I hope I only have to lie when... when—never. I hope I never have to lie...” Now the guilt was welling up. “Jesus, I just lied to Pacey.”

“Don't go through a guilt trip—” My eyes slit and I pinched leg.

“Don't mock me, Nathaniel.”

“Okay,” his breath ran me over smoothly, my eyes closed. “But it was good. He bought it.”

“Yeah, he bought it and it didn't go as badly as I thought it would. It went well.” Nate's fingers hovered above wrists—when I leaned away. “It was horrible...” I dropped my head in my hands. “I did something horrible. I was talking to him, lying, and all I could think about was the sight of Parker's ear—then the house blowing up...”

“It's okay, princess. It's done with now. You don't have to think about it anymore.” His hugged from behind gently.

***

Three days turned like book pages. Nothing happened, when I said nothing I meant there wasn't a swarm of FBI agents crashing through my door. Also there were no texts, or creepy messages left in strange places. Pacey was staying home for the last two days; I wasn't sure how he was doing. The day after our talk I saw him at campus—fleetingly, he was in a hurry to get to his next class. He wasn't picking up the phone or answering my messages. I could call his house, though I thought they'd rather be left alone then having to deal with me bothering them. That and I was afraid of confess to something I shouldn't. I was still surprised at how well I'd dealt with the whole lie thing, it wasn't like me.

Aric traced the cell phone and as he'd predicted: burn phone. It led us to the Hudson, so nowhere. We were still in the blank. I was too worried over our mystery creeper to be bothered to talk to both him and Anna about their sneaking around—when we were on the run from The Order I let it slide, I thought it was a faze, that Anna was living up to her plan to pump more information out of him, about why he was helping us, and about why he hated Nate—apparently, I had my doubts. Now we weren't on the run—it didn't mean I wasn't scared, I was—why were they still sleeping together? There were tons of guys, why was Anna still monopolizing my brother? Maybe the answer was easier than I thought, perhaps not. I didn't know, my mind was too damn cloudy at the moment’s notice. Like worrying about our hides wasn't enough, I had to worry about money—about Nate getting a job. He started looking that afternoon after Pacey left, in fact, he was on his way to an interview now. What bothered me was that he didn't tell me for what it was.

“Melissa,” Ms. Halden called out coming to my stool, paper in hand. “I was very pleased to see improvements in your art work since last year. The shades on this portrait were…” She shook her head looking down at it, I began to smile. I couldn’t control it, who didn’t blush and felt their chests swell with pride when their work was praised? “They are impeccable, really something to be fascinated by—as well as the face lines, especially the cheekbones.” She held out the thick paper with Nathaniel’s portrait, giving it a final look over. “Very, very good,”

“Thank you, it means a lot.” It was easier to draw something or someone if you had tons of time to observe and memorize them.

“Out of curiosity,” I turned my eyes away from Nate’s drawn face to my thirty-somewhat year old teacher. “Would you be interested in attending an art program in Rome? It’s in the summer, I know it’s early to ask you, but the spots are filled up early.” I bit down my lip. Was it okay if I squealed? Probably not, I didn’t want to pass for an insane person. “I’ve known you for two years now, and I have to admit I was afraid your skills would suffer when you stopped showing up last year—” My failed sophomore year, yes, I remember after shooting Drew that my hands didn’t stop trembling—I’d been afraid I couldn’t hold a pencil right again. “I’m glad I was wrong.” She smiled.

I nodded clearing out my throat subtly, “Do I need to give you an answer right now?” Because if I did, it would be a ‘no’ there was no way I could take this opportunity, not when I didn’t know what tomorrow was going to bring. For all I knew I could be dead by summer—or Nate could be in jail or worse—everything about this situation gave me the chills. Our enemy was in a blind spot, the hit could come from anywhere. We wouldn’t know. And there was the money problem…

“No, of course not, but think about it and when you decide come talk to me. Okay?”

“I will,” I rolled up the paper putting it in my drawing case.

“Just for the record,” Ms. Halden said as I walked to the door. “I think it’s a great opportunity, and I know how much painting means to you…”

“I’ll think about it, thank you again.” I grabbed my jacket on the way out and smiling feeling good about myself, as I walked out the doors of Dodge Hall I was stopped before walking down the very first step. “Seriously?” I mumbled when Anna’s agitated face came into view.

“Yes, seriously, I’ve really been waiting out here to take you home.”

“We’re doing this again, the whole bodyguard business?”

“No, we’re carpooling together… and when I drop you off I’ll take the subway back here.”

“Fine, we’ll order take out?” She nodded looking over before putting on a pair of dark sunglasses. “Where’s Aric?” I unlocked my Ford.

“I have no idea.”

I slid into my car making the engine start after a minute of locking my eyes with her.

“You seemed to keep track of him so well in the last few months, it’s a little hard to believe you’re telling me the truth.”

Her lips twisted into an uptight line.

“It was his fault, he was the one that stuck around but didn’t tell you.” That wasn’t exactly comforting to hear, I should just ignore it. It bothered me that I was flung aside when he didn’t need me anymore, but was that really what it was? Nate and Aric were related too, so I shouldn’t be surprised if he needed time off just as Nate did sometimes.

“Whatever,” I turned the radio’s volume down. “You really don’t know where he is?”

“No, we haven’t spoken since yesterday. Why?”

“Just… I think I saw Nate leave with someone this morning.”

“And you think he left with Aric? Those two rather tear each other apart than voluntarily spend time together.” True, but how many people owned a red Viper? Not many and I saw that car parked outside our building when I’d gotten out the garage this morning.

“I don’t know,” why would they be together? Unless… “Are they working on something?”

“I don’t think so. Aric traced the cell and it ended in nothing, I don’t think there were other leads for any of them to go on.” I didn’t either, but what if they weren’t telling us the whole story? What if they were keeping us in the dark for our safety? Nate loved me, he’d do anything if it meant we could be left alone—Aric, well he liked me and seemed to like Anna, enough to stick around and let her know.

“Nate’s hunting for jobs, lawyer stuff—so I doubt I saw right and even if I did… they were probably…” Yeah, I was drawing a blank on that. “Talking?”

Anna snorted, “About what, the weather?”

“They’re not doing so badly in the relationship department. They worked together when we were taken hostage.”

“Not like they had a choice.” Anna crossed her arms looking to me. “I really wanted to tell you, I did. I would have—”

I held up a hand not taking my eyes off the road, “Okay, it’s fine. I’m getting over it. Just let it go.” I rubbed my head when we got stuck on a long line. “Hey,” I turned to Anna now. “Reed’s going over today, we’re finally going to talk—about whatever it is he wants to tell me. Do you have any idea what it is?” I was actually skittish about it. How many more things was I going to uncover?

“No,” she shrugged. “Maybe he wants to make a generous donation?” I arched my brows. “Because Nate’s parents stole his money? You guys are living together and your money won’t stretch. I know you don’t want to hear this, but it’s true. If he doesn’t get a job… how are you going to live, Mel?” She was right, yet that seemed the less problematic situation.

“We’ll just move in with you.” I laughed at her startled expression. “Joking,” I shook my head. “I’m not worried about money.” I mumbled in a breath.

Anna and I ate together. Now that she had left I was staring back at my front door. What if someone walked in again? No, I couldn’t get my brain wrapped around that. I wasn’t going to be paranoid. I wasn’t going to live every second of my life in fear. With that in mind, I rolled off my couch making a grab for the cordless phone on the coffee table. It wasn’t long before I had the number dialed. It rang and rang giving me time to saunter into our bedroom—I placed the drawing case between my legs, turning the lid with my free hand.

“Is everything alright?” The voice on the other side made me jump, it came on all of a sudden with all the deepness I knew it for.

“Yes, I’m alive, safe at home. My day has been very good so far, thanks for asking. How’s yours been going?” I smirked knowing he was rolling his eyes wherever he was.

“Better now,” I heard the smile behind the hushed words. “Why are you calling?”

“Huh, because I wanted to talk to you? I didn't know I needed a reason to call my boyfriend. Sorry,” I frowned hearing dry sounds—and groans...—in the background. “Where... are you exactly?”

“At a club,” I blinked, he was at a club in the middle of the afternoon? That was weird. “Just having a look around and—” I stopped hearing him, static seemed to be paying us a visit.

“Nate?” I hoped he heard so he'd go to a better spot—one that had signal. Nothing happened, I tried again. “Nate, I can't hear you—can you hear me?” I shook the phone a while trying to figure out what was going on—until I heard a muffled sound from the other side. “Hey, I thought I lost you. What were you saying about the club?”

A short pause gripped my heart.

“This is only temporary—” He must have moved to a quieter spot because all the sounds were gone. “I got a job, it's part-time. Only until I can't find a permanent one as a lawyer.” The quiet pauses and suspense told me I wasn't going to enjoy this new occupation—great. What was it this time?

“Alright,” I sighed fearing the worse—it couldn't be worse than killing, could it? I hoped not. “Lay it on me.” When he snickered I rolled my eyes with a guilty-pleasured smile. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Belanger. We're adults, this isn't the time for that.”

“You don't even know what I'm thinking, princess.” I wouldn't be so sure about that, he knew I knew. “Fair enough...” He whispered defeated when I didn't carry on. “I'm a bouncer.”

“You're a what?” My voice went a few degrees.

“A bouncer, you know one of those guys that keep people in line—like I said, it's only until I find something in my area.”

“Okay... so, what you're telling me is that you're going to leave me home alone at night?”

I could picture Nate's grimace, “Not every night.”

“That's right because you'll be working part-time.” I chewed my lower lip, wondering how much damage I could do until it became permanently scarred. “How much will you make?” It sounded materialist of me—very, I knew that—i was just looking for an excuse to tell him not to work as a bouncer. I wanted Nate with me at night—but on another hand I wanted him to have something to do before he went nuts.

“It... depends. If I work some extra hours sometime I might get more, but we haven't really talked about it—we'll do it after my first shift tonight.”

“You're starting already? Tonight?” I said being explicit. "As in, you're not coming home until it's tomorrow and I'm asleep?"

“Yeah,” Great... I was going to stay home—alone—going out of my mind wondering if he was looking at some other girl... now I was being stupidly insecure. Right? Nate wasn't a cheater.

“Can I go?” I perked nearly jumping off the bed.

“Go where?”

I pressed my lips together feeling a light headache coming on, “To the club where you'll be working? Can I go there?”

“No!” His voice gripped my brain, making me hold the phone away.

“Why not?”

“Because it's not a place for you.” I fumed. What a chauvinistic thing to say!

I crossed my legs, gripping the phone a little harder.

“Oh, then what is the place for me?”

“Hmm,” he dragged lazily like he'd woken up. “In my bed... with me.” My face got flushed, a real red-beat color—his voice was freaking delicious when he lowered it so much.

Grasping reality with a shaky sigh, I asked, “And... if you're not in our bed?”

“In that case,” he paused making me want to go to wherever he was to shake him. “You'll still stay in our bed waiting for me.”

“I hate you,” I muttered taking the drawing outside of the container.

“No, you don't.” He cackled getting on my nerves some more. “You love me.” He dragged the word 'love' making me shiver, and it was like I had swallowed a bouncy ball—my heart jumping everywhere. “I'm sorry for how I answered the phone. It wasn't nice and you don't need a reason to call, it's just I hadn't figured out a way to tell you about this. I know you don't like it.” At least his head was still in the right place. “Did something good happen? You said your day was going great.”

Smiling softly, I pushed the news about him being a bouncer away—it was only temporary, anyway.

“Yep,” I jumped from bed going down the hall, into the kitchen. “Remember that drawing I made of you?”

“The one you wouldn't let me see?”

“Until it was finished, yeah.” I trapped the cordless phone between my ear and shoulder, holding the portrait against the freezer, placing a magnet over it. “I got it back today,”

“Really?”

“Hmm-hm, Ms. Halden liked it a ton.”

“You're saying she liked me?”

“Well, yeah—but only because I drew it perfectly.” I stuck my tongue out—feeling royally stupid because he couldn't see. “You're smirking, aren't you?”

“You know me so well, Sullivan.”

“I know, it's scary, isn't it?” He laughed richly—my stomach flip-flopped only to be interrupted by the door bell. That was probably Reed and I was so not ready to talk to someone other than Nate—I missed him, hell I hadn't gotten a good-morning kiss today. “I have to go, Reed's here for our talk.” The pained intone was present, if he were with me he'd kiss my temple and stroke my hair—I was being clingy, wasn't I?

“Gotta face the music,” yeah, only what was I supposed to face? Surprises were not good in my life—not lately.

The bell rang again—more insistent. I scowled, “Love me?”

“Always.”

I smiled when the line went dead—the door bell was going to end mute if he kept pressing it so much—I threw the phone onto the couch. Again? Really—was the guy in a hurry?

“I'm going,” I ground out under my breath.

I turned the keys, still in the key hole, and it came open—a sweet-smelling rag was shoved into my face, my nose—I struggled lashing out with my arms, making my hands curl into fists to strike the guy across the face. I couldn't get a clear shot, my head was beginning to get woozy, drowsy—that thing... on the rag... must have been—hands gripped me by the shoulders. My legs kicked into motion, the only problem was that everything became heavier, my heartbeat should have been pumping reaching critical levels from the adrenaline. It was slowing down. A cry rang out, it wasn't from me that left me pleased. I ripped something... something from him. I couldn't tell what but liquid was running down my fingers—a hard, round surface beat against my head.