You Ain't the Only Ones Who Want to Live it Up

Alex POV: 

"Here goes nothing." Jack whispered nervously, more for his benefit than mine.

"Don't worry. They're supposed to be supportive right?" I smiled at him, trying to make him relax.
"I doubt it." Jack answered.
"Rian, shut the hell up!" as Rian continued with his endless tapping.

We were walking home from school, to Jacks and apparently my house. They arranged with their parents to meet there and talk about our band future.

Jack was insanely nervous. His mom hated the band idea since forever. He couldn't stop stressing over it.

"Jack, it'll be ok."
"We're here." Jack said anxiously, not hearing what I said.

We entered the house, and Rian suggested we make coffee or something for our parents as they'd come in about 15 minutes.

Jack was so nervous he managed to spill boiling water all over the floor. He muttered a muffled sorry but a few minutes later spilled sugar all over the counter. Finally Zack declared him a walking disaster and banned him from the kitchen.

I went outside with him. We sat on the porch steps,like little kids waiting for their parents to come home from work. Which I guess we kinda were.

I put my arm around Jacks shoulder and was about to tell him it would be ok when he pushed my arm off and blurted out "I'm such a fuck up. Did you see what I did back there? I'm so fucking clumsy!"

I stared at him for a few seconds. He was getting so upset and angry because of that?

"Jack you just spilled some things! It's not such a big deal. You're not clumsy. You're adorable. Why does spilling some sugar and water make you a fuck up? Now breath and tell me whats really bothering you."

He looked at me for a second,then that familiar amazing smile started to peek out. I smiled back and he started to giggle adorably as he said "It was kinda stupid wasn't it?" I started to laugh and he joined in.

We sat there just laughing happily.
No worries. No stress. No scary record deadlines. No parents. Just me and Jack, sitting and laughing.

And it was perfect. His dark brown eyes twinkled happily and his smile made me feel so warm and cuddly inside. The look in his eyes told me that he was feeling the same.

"I love you." I said. He smiled and his eyes were filled with emotion as he answered meaningfully "I love you too."

"Jack whats the matter?"
"I don't know. I just. I'm just so scared. My parents aren't going to like this. They expect me to go to college and be a boring accountant or something. They don't like the fact I play. They don't like anything I do. I guess I'm just scared they won't approve of this. They've always been so strict."

He took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. I wanted to help but I didn't know how.

Here he was talking about parents when my only experience with them was avoiding my dads punches. A part of me started to what my dad would think about the whole band thing. Would he be proud? Ashamed? Would he want me to do something else?

When I was little, when Tom was alive, he always supported my music and told me I was talented but after Tom died, when he began to abuse me he told me over and over how untalented I am, how I'll never do anything good with my life, and how Tom could have used my life so much better. I wonder what he thinks now. Does he consider music a good or bad choice?

I know he abused and hurt me so many times but he's my father and my blood. I love him. It's hard to admit it. The man who hurt, scarred, burned, best up, and hated me and here I am, loving him. Maybe there was someway I could ask him what he thought.

"Alex. You here? Earth to Alex!" Jack asked.
"What? Huh? Oh yeah." I answered still sunk in my thoughts.
"Not another one of Alexander William Gaskarth famous daydreams." Jack rolled his eyes jokingly.
"C'mon they're not that bad. Don't use my full name, Jack Bassam Barakat!"

He smiled at the full name and was about to answer when he saw his moms car. "Shit. Anyway thanks for letting me spill my heart and everything."

He took another deep breath and said "It'll be ok."

Mrs Barakat exited the car with Mrs Dawson,whos car broke down so she drove with Mrs Barakat. We greeted them politely, or as much as we could.

Soon enough Mr and Mrs Merrick came. We sat down at the long dining room table, Jack with his parents, Rian with his, Zack with his and me alone.

A awkward silence came until Zack, who was by far the best speaker of all of us,said " We wanted everyone to come here because as you know we just got a record deal and we're seniors so we finish high school this year. We were thinking maybe instead of college to pursue music. And we were wondering what you'd think about that."

Another silence filled the room, only this one was tense, the calm before the storm. And suddenly everyone was talking.

"Not go to college? But Rian you already got accepted and everything!" Mrs Dawson said as Mr Merrick quietly reasoned with Zack.

"Now see here, music is a dead end, career and moneywise. Why can't this just be a hobby?"

Mrs Barakat though was straight out yelling at Jack. "I knew I should have never allowed you to make this band! An outrage! Not go to college! Even suggest that! You can do so much better than them! You'll bring shame on our family! Each and every one from our entire family has a degree, and my son will have one too. "

And there I was, sitting quietly, with no parents or anyone who cares. But I don't want to pity myself.

I looked again at Jack. He was sitting there, eyes trained on the floor, slightly slouched down as his mother spewed about family honor. Jack hated when people yelled at him. I couldn't stand watching him like that, so crushed.

I stood up and yelled "People! Listen up! This is our choice. This is our lives. We want to have a civilized conversation with you. We love creating music and performing. And apparently we're actually kind of good at it." That got a smile out of almost everyone.

I continued "We already got a record deal. This is a big deal, no pun intended. Getting one is hard but we have and it's a great start. This is our dream. Please let us fulfill it."

"But college is such a learning experience." Mrs Dawson insisted.
"So is touring the world." Rian answered. 

"You know, at the end of the day, it's their choice. College can wait, record deals aren't there forever." Mrs Merrick said.
Zack smiled as he said "Thank you!" and hugged her.

Mrs Barakat stood there shocked as she said "You're actually allowing this? Ridiculous."
"Yes I am. It's their choice." She answered as she rubbed Zacks shoulders gently.
"I didn't raise you like this. " Mrs Barakat muttered at Jack. Jack kept looking down, hurt clouding his eyes.

Mrs Dawson meanwhile asked Rian "Is this truly what you want to do?"
"Yes."
"Well I know you'll be great at whatever you'll do."
"Well he is my son. I remember that day when I taught you how to play drum. You were a natural. 9 years old and playing like a 14 year old. I always wanted to be a drummer but life interfered. I'm glad my son gets that chance."Mr Dawson said proudly.

I was happy for Rian and everone but I couldn't help but feel slightly jealous. What would my parents say? I'd never know.

"My son will never do that." Mrs Barakat said.
"Joyce lets be reasonable. Did you see how talented he is? He loves it. Give him a chance." Mrs Merrick said. Jack shot her a smile and she answered with a thumbs up.

"I blame him!" Mrs Barakat yelled pointing at me, all eyes in the room turning. "Poisoning my son, making him gay" She whispered the word like it was a curse. "And now this. Giving up on college. I took you in." Mrs Barakat turned to me. "I helped you. You've been living at my house for more than two years. And look what happened. You ruined him."

I was about to answer but Jack beat me. "Alex saved me! I love him! He loves me! He helped me when none of you did. I was gay long before I knew Alex. Stop attacking him. If he leaves our house, so do I. And we're going to do this. With or without your permission." Jack finished proudly.

Mrs Barakat stood there speechlessly as Mrs Dawson asked curiously "Why does Alex live with Jack? Where are his parents? Do they know about this?" Rian tried to make his mom stop.

I stared on the floor, trying not to look offended. But I was. Mrs Dawson was right. My parents don't know about this. I don't know what they'd say. I'll never know.

I felt Jacks concerned eyes in me and I looked up. Jack smiled, trying to cheer me up. "Its none of your business! It's no ones business but Alex's. So just stop. Are we done here?" Jack said angrily, protecting me.

"I'm sorry. It was none of my business." Mrs Dawson said sincerely. "Mrs Barakat are we done?"

Mrs Barakat sighed and said "Do whatever you want."

We cheered and said thank you. The parents started to leave until it was just me and Jack.

"You ok?" I asked.
"Yeah. I'm ok. You?"
"I'm fine." I said. But I wasn't.

Mrs Dawson's word kept haunting me.
Do your patents know about this?
Do your parents know about this ? 
Do your patents know about this? 

The words kept doing around and around in my head.

"No!" I yelled inwardly.
They don't. They'll never know. Ill never have a chance to talk them. They'll never see me grow up.

I couldn't stop thinking about it.
What would they think?