You Ain't the Only Ones Who Want to Live it Up

Alex POV:

"Hello?"

I heard my dads deep voice with that english accent echo from the phone. My heart pounded like insane as I heard that familiar voice. I missed it.

"Hello?" I heard him ask again. Jack gestured for me to say something. But I couldn't. I felt so tongue tied, like I couldn't talk.

"Is anyone there? I'm going to hang up." He said. My heart stopped. Jack gestured desperately for me to say something.

I took a breath and said "Umm I um well, hello." Smooth Alex, real smooth.

"Who is this?" My fathers voice rang.

He didn't recognize me.

"Its me." I said frantically. "Dad it's me!"

A scary dark silence answered me. Tears filled my eyes as I realized my dad doesn't recognize or doesn't want me. I cuddled closer to Jack as the tears began to fall.

Suddenly I heard a muffled noise from the phone followed by "Bless my heart. It can't be."

"Dad?" I asked tentatively.

"Tom? How can this be?"

He thought I was Tom. It hurt. It felt like someone punched me in the gut. Everyone always said we sounded alike but my dad always could distinguish between us. Then I felt scared. I remembered how my dad always said I was always less then Tom and that he could have used my life better. What would he say when he'd learn I'm Alex.

"Tom? Answer me please?" He begged.

With great fear and sadness I said "Dad? It's not Tom. It's Alex." Then I waited anxiously for the response.

"N-not Tom? Alex?" He asked cautiously.

"Yes it's me Alex."

"Alex. My son?" I heard the tears in his voice.

"Yes Dad." I said taking relish in that word but still scared of his reaction.

"My son. My beautiful son." I heard the pride and tears in his voice as he uttered those words.

"Dad! I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Alex. So so much." I loved how his English accent made my name sound, like no one else ever said it like that but him.

"I, I never thought I'd get a chance to talk to you. I can't say how truly sorry I am for what I did to you. I regret it every second of my life. I shouldn't have blamed you for Tom's death. It wasn't your fault. I'm so sorry for everything I did and said. I ruined your life. I was a terrible father. I'm so sorry. I know you'll never be able to forgive me but I want you to be how to truly sorry I am. I stopped drinking. I got a job. I'm a therapist, helping abused children. I see what I did to you. I wish I could go back and fix it. I'd do anything to get a chance to fix it. I'm so sorry."

I couldn't believe it. He was apologizing. It was everything I ever wanted. My heart warmed, as I took another breath, I just couldn't.

I had to digest this. He missed me. He's sorry. His word ran around and around in my head like a happy carousel. "I wish I could fix it." "It wasn't your fault." What do I do now?

I could start judging him, ask him how he could stand to do that to his son. A part of me wanted to hate him, to blame and accuse, to direct all my anger and pain at him.

Or I could move on, forgive and have him as a part of my life.

I knew my choice.

"I forgive you. I don't know why you did what you did, but I forgive you. I want to start over, a fresh start. I want you to be a part of my life. Lets just start over."

"Alex, do you mean that? Do you really mean that? I'd love that so much. A clean slate. Thank you son." He said proudly and touchingly. "So what's going on with you? How are you? What's new? Whats changed in those two long years?"

My dad actually cared about what I was going through.

That thought made me want to cry,laugh,dance, and scream at the same time. It was ridiculous, a dream, but here it was happening. My dad cares.

"Well schools ok, I guess."

"Still great at English and history but hating math?" He remembered.

"Yep. Numbers aren't cool."

"Got that from your mom. She still hates math." I could hear his smile. "Any college ideas, I'm not going to stress you about it, I'm just curious." He asked.

"Well actually, the band go-"

"What band?" He interrupted.

"Mine, All Time Low."

"You have a band? Tom would be proud. Always loved music. My two talented sons."

He said two, not one like usual but two. I wanted to cry.

"Thank you." I said sincerely. "Anyway we got a EP deal and if the EP works we get a full record! A full record deal! So we're thinking to delay college for a while, to see how the music thing works out. What do you think? I asked anxiously.

"A record deal? Congratulation son! I'm so proud. Well I think you should go for it. You're extremely good at it, and you want to do this. Now that's a very powerful combination. I'm sure you guys will rock."

"Thanks dad!" He was proud of me. He was actually proud of me. It was a dream come true.

He then said "Alex, I was wondering maybe you'd like to perhaps move in with u-"

Jack who had been sitting next to me, supporting me the whole time said "Lex I'm really sorry I'm interrupting and I'm really happy for you but I need to go do my homework for tomorrow. Mr Lester, our technology teacher said he'd check it and however does it the best gets these really cool headphones. It's a super long essay about the history of radio. Ugh. Anyway I'll talk to you later. Happy for you babe."

I smiled. I loved it when he jokingly called me babe. He gave me a quick peck, our lips touching for a second and climbed upstairs.

"Alex? Are you there? Who was that?" My dad asked frantically.

"That was my boyfriend,Jack. Now what were you about to say?" I said carelessly,forgetting my dad doesn't know I'm gay.

"What do you mean boyfriend? Who is this Jack?" He asked worriedly,getting angrier.

"Jack, he lets me stay with him. I've been living with him for the past two years. We've been together for about the same amount of time." I said quickly.

"Alexander are you gay?" He asked, shocked and angrily, using my full name.

"Yes." I said proudly. I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not.

"My son? Gay? No. This can't be right." He muttered to himself. "But you had girl friends! What about Lisa, that lovely girl?"

"We broke apart a few years ago, it was a mutual decision. It wasn't working. Either way I love Jack."

Dad kept muttering angrily to himself until he said sweetly "What I was about to ask earlier was if you'd want to move back? I want you to live with me and repair our relation. You are my only son and I want to know you."

He wanted me to live with him? I was ecstatic. This was a dream come true.

"Yes! Yes I'd love that! Thank you." Jack could live without me, this is my father. I need to live with them.

"How about you move in next week? We can arrange everything then. Your mom and I miss you so much."

Next week. 4 day. I can't wait! Living with my family!

"Dad I'd love that!"

"So you want to?" He asked.

"Yes of course I do!" I answered excitedly.

"Well if you want this so much, I need you to do one thing,one small thing, for me." He said.

Without hesitating I said "What? I'll do anything!"

Living with my family is my dream. I love and need them so much.  

He answered "The only thing I need you to do us break up with that Jack kid. Look what bring away from us has done. You need your family more than a boyfriend or anything else. It's either him or me. I love you. I want to start a new life without any old boyfriends and history. It's your choice. Him or family. You knows what, come over to our house if you've chosen me. If not don't call or contact  again. I'll know what you chose. I know you'll make the right choice. Goodbye son."

The beep beep signaling the end of the call echoed in the room as tears slide down my cheeks at the thought of making that awful choice.