Lost in London

The inside of Louis' place was nothing less than to be expected. It was filled with the same sense of whimsy and youthful exuberance that he was. Those characteristics were part of what drew her to him and made it so easy to become close with him in such a short time. Reilly smiled as she looked around at all the things he had on display. There was little rhyme or reason to it, and it felt very homey.

He gave her a quick tour, ending in the guest room where he left her with a pair of pajamas that belonged to his girlfriend, while he went to make tea for them. She changed quickly and took her hair out of the ponytail she had pulled back when she danced the last song with Olly.

She took a seat on a stool at the counter across from Louis and opened her messages to see if there was anything she had somehow missed from Niall. An apology. A rant. A reason. A joke. Anything. But there wasn't. She sighed and shut the screen off. Louis raised his eyes from the tea cups in front of him, keeping his head down, and watched her. She had an air of sadness about her, but her expression was a mix of confusion and defeat.

"He fancies you, you know," he said, breaking the silence. She looked up at him quizzically, but he had shifted his eyes back to the tea cups. "Niall," he clarified.

"No, he doesn't," she said. "He told me doesn't."

"Did he?" Louis asked, still not looking at her.

Reilly sighed. "Well, not exactly. But he didn't tell me I was wrong when I said that I knew you were just giving him a hard time when you said it," she said with a shrug. "What am I supposed to think if he doesn't say otherwise?"

Louis handed a cup of tea to her across the counter, and then walked around and sat, facing her, on the stool next to her. "You have a 'back off' kind of air about you," he began. "Niall is very shy with girls. He's testing the waters and trying to see if you might be interested, but he doesn't like the vibe you're giving off. It's quite hard for him, because he really is a nice guy." Reilly's expression had changed to one of almost anger, and she was shaking her head. "What?" he asked.

"I hate that, so much. Guys do this thing where they're like, 'oh I'm a nice guy, girls never like me, boohoo,' but the fact of the matter is that they're bigger assholes than other guys. I saw it all the time with my friend Lexie. You saw the pictures of her. She gorgeous," she said, and Louis nodded in agreement. "Guys would make friends with her and she was like, 'oh cool, this guy wants to be my friend,' but then after a few months or whatever when they established a friendship and she was showing an interest in a different guy, the friend would get his nose all out of joint and then dump on her that he had feelings for her but she didn't notice him because he was just a nice guy. It's such bullshit. You can't expect someone to just read your mind. Be up front about your intentions. It's no one's fault but your own if you're not."

Again, Louis nodded at her. "He's really trying, Reilly. He tells you that you're beautiful. And he ran to your side last night and slept on your sofa because he didn't want you to be alone," he said.

She raised her eyebrows at him. "He told you that?" she asked.

"No," Louis responded. "But you just have. I suspected that's where he was when he didn't come home until late this morning. What happened?" he asked.

Reilly sighed and stared down into her tea cup. "I had a meltdown," she mumbled.

"What happened?" he asked again.

She looked up at Louis and gave a quick rundown of the previous night, leaving out details that would require extra explanation. The energy to get into those eluded her. She mostly just wanted to sleep, but she knew she could either have this conversation with Louis now, or in the morning. Getting it out of the way seemed like the better option.

"So, he thought he was making progress, and then you kissed Olly-"

"I didn't kiss Olly," she said, cutting him off. "Olly kissed me."

"Doesn't matter, Love," he told her.

"I had no control over the situation. It's not like he planned it. He didn't warn me that it was coming. What was I supposed to do?" she said exasperatedly.

Louis shook his head. "Not much you could have done. I'm not blaming you. But let me ask you something. Are you interested in Niall? Do you fancy him?" he asked.

Reilly stayed quiet. If she was being totally honest, she didn't know. She had never really found herself in the position of having feelings deeper than friendship for anyone. And at that, she never really had a lot of friends either. She tended to either keep to herself, keep herself busy, or spend time with Lexie.

She had some very casual friendships with other dancers she took lessons with, both boys and girls. But she would rarely see them outside of dance, or celebrations for dance related things. The same went for the soccer team at her school. She never spent much time with any of them, other than Lexie, outside of team functions.

But there was the lingering question of why it bothered her so much that he was angry with her now. Why she couldn't stop thinking about him while she was at school, which was the ultimate reason she had decided to go out with him and the boys. Why she asked him to come over when she could have easily called Liam. Why it upset her that he didn't talk to her for the better part of the week. There was a lot going on in her head that she didn't understand. But there was one thing she knew.

"I don't have time for a boyfriend right now," she told Louis.

"That's not the question I asked," he said.

She didn't know what to say other than the truth. "I don't know. I like being around him. I like talking to him. But I like being around you and talking to you, also. I don't know where the differences would lie. I'm not good at having feelings, other than not being good enough," she said. The last part came out quietly, and her eyes averted to her tea.

Louis' heart broke into thousands of pieces for the girl sitting in front of him. He set his tea cup on the counter as he slid off the stool and wrapped her in a warm hug. They had been acquainted for less than a week, and he knew little of her background, but he found himself wanting to protect her, wanting to listen to everything and anything she had to say, because, as he had suspected from the very beginning, she had no one.

"You are good enough," he said, giving her a squeeze. "You are sweet and smart and funny and kind and if there's anyone in your life that doesn't love you it's through no fault of yours. You're better than good enough," he told her.

She hugged him tightly as a tear slid down her cheek. She didn't fully believe the words he said, but he sounded so genuine, and she believed that he believed them. "Thank you, Louis," she said. He gave her another squeeze before letting go. "Do you mind if I go to bed?" she asked.

"Of course not, Love," he said, pushing the hair that had fallen in her face behind her ear. He kissed her forehead and she smiled as she slid off the stool. "There's a brand new toothbrush in the cabinet in the guest bathroom," he told her. She thanked him and disappeared down the hallway.

Once she was alone, she found it difficult to clear her mind enough to sleep. She alternated between reading the book she had put in her purse and laying in a dark room. After a couple hours of this, she sat up and slid her socks onto her feet.

It was dark when she opened the bedroom door. Louis was probably fast asleep in his own room. She walked toward the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, scanning the contents. She couldn't decide if she should just have some water, or if she wanted something to eat. Then her eyes fell on the bottles of beer in the door of the refrigerator. She grabbed two and quietly headed for the door.

Streetlights lit the sidewalks as she walked, quickly, sure of herself, then slowly, second guessing her snap decision. Before she had time to make up her mind, she found herself in front of a door, hoping she had the right one. She lifted her hand to ring the door bell, and then dropped it before she did. After a moment, she lifted her hand again and knocked.

After a few long moments, just as she was getting ready to walk away, the door flew open. Niall stood in front of her in gray sweatpants and a white tshirt. He blinked a few times when he saw her, but it didn't appear to be from having been woken up.

"What are you doin' here? Aren't those Lou's bird's pajamas?" he asked, confused.

"Operating under the assumption that a 'bird' is a girlfriend, yes," she said.

Niall nodded. "What are you doin' here? It's near two in the mornin'," he said.

"I'm sorry," she said.

He looked at her. "For what?' he asked.

Reilly shrugged. "For whatever it is you're mad at me for," she said.

Niall shifted his weight from one leg to the other. He grimaced, Reilly assumed from the stress it put on his bad knee, and shifted it back. "First, I'm not mad," he said. "And second, if I was, that's not how it works."

"I know," Reilly said. "But you just took off, and before that you wouldn't talk to me, and I had no idea what you were upset about. And I'm just really sorry about whatever I did," she explained. "I don't know why, but I really don't like the feeling of you being mad at me," she told him bluntly.

"I'm not mad," he repeated.

Reilly shuffled her feet, the cold from the ground seeping through her socks. "You said that. But the fact of the matter is, you still completely shut down on me earlier without explanation. And I realize I may not be the most open person, but you're the one who told me you wanted to be my friend. Is there something else?" she probed gently, hoping he would either confirm or deny what Louis had told her.

Niall looked down as she shuffled her feet again. "You're not wearin' shoes," he said.

"Overrated," she told him.

"Come inside, Darlin'," he said, taking a step to the side so she could get past him. "What do you have there?" he asked, motioning to the bottles in her hand as he closed the door behind her.

"Peace offering," she said, lifting up the beer bottles.

Niall laughed as he took them from her and led her to the kitchen. "Girl who knows the way to my heart," he said. "Love it."

"Well, I know how the Irish are, from personal experience," she reminded him.

"Ah, that's right. Girl after my own heart as well. Even better," he said, popping open the bottles. He handed one to her and picked up his own. He tipped it toward her and clinked the necks together. "To bein' Irish," he said. She repeated him, and then took a drink.

The room fell silent for a few moments while they slowly drank their beers. Niall's place was significantly different from Louis'. She hadn't noticed before, but he kept Irish paraphernalia all over the place. Most of it was small, so it wasn't overwhelming, like the cup of toothpicks with Irish flags that was on the counter, and the shamrock magnets on the refrigerator. Like Louis', his home reflected his personality. She couldn't help but wonder what the boys had thought of her own bare apartment, littered with textbooks and school work, when they'd been in it.

"Why'd you kiss Olly?" Niall asked suddenly. "You don't even know him," he added.

"I know," Reilly said, setting her beer down on the counter. "I didn't kiss him. He kissed me," she said.

"Same thing," Niall replied, taking a drink of his beer. "You like him?" he asked casually.

Reilly could feel herself getting worked up, but she did her best to remain calm. "First of all," she said, "it's not the same thing. Second of all, it's like you said, I don't even know him, so how could I like him? And third, he's ten years older than me," she said.

Niall nodded, "Fair enough," he said, walking from the kitchen toward the hallway. "You comin'?" he called over his shoulder.

"Where?" she asked, but followed him anyway. The next thing she knew, they were in his room. She was curious why he had led her there, but more curious about what she had Louis had discussed earlier. "Why does it matter? About Olly?" she asked.

Niall just shrugged and sat down on the bed. "Doesn't, I guess."