Lost in London

As October turned into November, the boys' schedules picked up. And as the boys' schedules picked up, Reilly's slowed down. The boys, individually and collectively, had demanded so much of her time outside of school that she started feeling like she had to squeeze precious study minutes in wherever she could. It was hard to say no when one of the boys wanted to hang out, but she started feeling like she was drowning. And now, she was welcoming the slower pace and the extra time to focus on her studies.

It was Wednesday, in the early afternoon. Her classes were done for the day and she had already finished all her school work for the week, and even some for the following week. She felt like she could breathe again. And that's exactly what she was telling Lexie over Skype while she cleaned her already neat apartment.

"Seriously, Rei, what are you doing? Your place is already spotless. Sit down. Relax," she said. "You don't have to be constantly moving all the time."

Reilly turned to look at her. "I haven't been able to do a good, deep clean in weeks, first because of the boys, and then because I was catching up on school," she said, and went back to what she had been doing.

"Reilly. Seriously. Stop," Lexie said, using what could only be described as a 'mom tone'. With a sigh, Reilly abandoned the task and fell onto the couch. "You just said you finally feel like you can breathe. So breathe."

"I just don't want to be bored," she said. On the coffee table next to her computer, her phone vibrated once, then dinged, indicating she had a new text message. Wordlessly, she reached for it and turned on the screen.

"The leprechaun?" Lexie questioned in a teasing manner.

Reilly rolled her eyes at her friend. "No. Louis. He says, 'hang up your Skype call with Lexie. I want to talk to you,'" she read out loud to her friend, doing her best Louis impression. "Do you mind?" she asked.

"No. Not at all," she said, feigning sadness. "I don't mind in the slightest that you're replacing me with a new best friend. Go right ahead."

"Love you, Lexie. Thank you," she said, reaching forward to disconnect the call. The pretty blonde quickly told her to wait, and she paused, hand hovering above her keyboard. "What?" she asked.

"Just really quick, I haven't brought it up in awhile because I'm not trying to push it-"

"Haven't decided yet, Lex," Reilly interrupted. "Talk to you later," she said and hung up the call before her friend could say anything else. She wasn't trying to be rude, but it wasn't as easy as Lexie made it seem. Of course she wanted to know why, she just wasn't sure she was totally prepared to hear him out. And if Zachary really wanted the chance to explain himself, he would wait until she was ready to hear it, whether it took a few more weeks, or a few more years.

Within seconds of hanging up on Lexie, a call from Louis popped up on her screen. She pressed the button to answer and Louis appeared on her screen. "Don't you have a girlfriend you should be calling instead of me?" she asked.

"Believe it or not, her schedule is much less hectic than yours, Miss I-spend-every-waking-moment-at-school-or-studying. Plus, I've already spoken to her twice today. If I call her any more before we get back she might leave me," he said.

The boys had been gone for a week, doing whatever it was boybands have to do to promote themselves and their music, and they were due back late that night. Harry had been the first to jump on making plans with Reilly, claiming he missed her less than twelve hours after they left. She thought he was ridiculous, but agreed to breakfast Thursday morning since her classes were in the afternoon.

Reilly let out a tiny laugh. "Hi, Louis," she said, giving him a proper greeting.

"Ello, Reilly, Love. You're looking absolutely smashing today," he replied happily. Reilly looked down at the oversized shirt, his shirt that she had stolen, and leggings she was wearing, then back up at Louis. "Speaking of my bird," he continued, ignoring the look she gave him, "she's finally able to come down this weekend, and she's really excited to finally meet you. You have some free time, yeah?" he asked.

"For your lovely girlfriend, of course," she told him.

Louis pretended to pout. "But not for me?" he whined. She giggled but didn't say anything.

She could hear movement somewhere out of view of his webcam, and he turned to look at whoever was there. "That Reilly?" she faintly heard someone say.

"Yeah, mate," Louis responded to the person.

Within moments, Niall was leaning in front of Louis. "Hello, Reilly!" he exclaimed excitedly. "You mind?" he asked, taking a seat next to Louis and reaching for the computer.

"By all means, Niall. I wasn't trying to talk to her or anything." Louis said, his tone turning sour as he stood and walked out of view.

"Thanks Lou," Niall called after him. "You all right, Darlin'?" he said to Reilly and she responded positively. He smiled nervously. "So, I was thinkin' 'bout goin' home this weekend, thought you might want to come?" he said, but more as question than a statement.

"Ooh," Reilly said. "I just made plans to meet Louis' girlfriend sometime this weekend. And I think Liam said something the other day about," she paused, trying to remember. She'd been having so many rushed conversations with all the boys that she couldn't keep much straight. "I don't remember. Something."

His expression faltered momentarily, but he quickly smiled again. "Oh," he said, sounding a little sad. "What about next weekend?" he asked hopefully. His insides jumped in nervous excitement when she asked for more details. "Thinkin' 'bout leavin' Friday mornin', come back Sunday night. It's not a long flight. Couple hours," he explained.

"I have class Friday morning," she reminded him.

"We'll go after," he said.

Reilly tried to hide the sigh that followed, but failed miserably. "I don't know, Niall. Can I think about it?" she asked. "Who else is going?" she inquired.

"Don't know. Hadn't asked the lads yet. Harry might, or Lou," he said. But the truth was he hadn't planned on asking any of the boys to come with him, only Reilly. "Maybe everyone."

"Let me think about it?" she asked.

Niall nodded. "Sure thing, Darlin'. But let me know soon. Have to make the arrangements," he told her. "I'll give you back to Lou now," he said and quickly disappeared from the screen.

Moments later Louis returned and took in Reilly's perplexed expression. "What?" he asked. Reilly shifted her eyes to the side, silently asking if Niall was within earshot. "No, he's gone," he said, and she quickly told him about the conversation they'd just had. Louis only shrugged. "I told you. He fancies you. He had no intention of asking any of us to go. Trust me," he said. Then, without giving her time to argue, and he knew she wanted to, he changed the subject. "So, the reason I called. I wanted to talk about your last email," he said.

When the boys' schedules started to get busy, Louis had suggested that they write each other emails as a way to continue to learn more about each other. Emails were easy for him to check in between interviews and photoshoots and whatever else might be going on. Time for phone calls was harder to come by. Reilly had agreed, feeling that some things would be easier to write than actually speak about.

"It was a long one," he said.

Reilly nodded. "I was feeling divulgent," she said.

"Ooh, divulgent. Good word," he said, pulling out of his phone. Reilly gave him a curious look. "I wasn't very good in school, so I've started a list of words you use in emails and conversations that I want to incorporate into my everyday vocabulary to sound smarter," he explained. "I call it my Reilly list. Anyway, I'm working on writing you back, but there's something I wanted to actually speak to you about."

"What's that?" she asked.

"This Zachary character. Are you going to let him explain?" he asked.

Reilly sighed. She had been grateful she could easily hang up one Lexie when she'd asked, but that wasn't an option at the moment with Louis. "I don't know," she said.

"I really think you should," he told her.

"Louis," she said, "I really don't want to talk about this right now," she told him, looking away.

"Alright. When then?" he asked. She shrugged, still not looking at him. "I'm don't want to upset you, Love. But can I please just tell you why I think so?" he asked. When she didn't object, he continued. "It will let you stop wondering. It's not good for your mind or your spirit to keep the hostility you clearly feel toward him inside of you. You deserve to let yourself let that go," he said.

Reilly turned her head back to look at him. "Is that how you stay so chipper all the time?" she asked. He grinned goofily at her and nodded. She couldn't help the smile that broke out across her face. "Okay. I'll take that into consideration," she said.

"That's the spirit," he said cheerfully, but then his expression turned serious. "That last email you sent me really broke my heart, though. I can't wait to see you so I can give you a proper cuddle," he said. Reilly didn't know how to respond, so she just stayed quiet. "You know," he said after nearly a full minute of silence, "after my girlfriend, my mum, and my sisters, you really are one of my favorite people in the entire world," he told her.

She felt her cheeks heating up, but rolled her eyes at him. "How's that?" she asked.

"Well, for one, you are absolutely the most adorable thing ever when you get embarrassed, which is all the time," he teased. Her cheeks tinted darker, and she lifted her hands to cover her face. "And from reading your beautifully written emails, I realize that you have no idea how strong, and brave, and all-around wonderful you really are. That is rare these days," he said.

She blinked a few times before removing her hands from her face. Tears were forming behind her eyes at his sweet words. She didn't know what to say. "More than Harry?" she asked, making a joke of it.

Louis laughed accordingly. "Yes, even more than Harold," he said.

"What about Harold?" a low voice asked out of nowhere.

"I like Reilly better than you," Louis explained to him.

"You're speaking to Reilly?" he asked, and then suddenly his curly head appeared in the frame. "Ello there, Reilly!" he exclaimed, his face extremely close to the screen. "I can't wait to see you tomorrow."

Somewhere off to the side, another voice asked about her. The next thing she knew, Harry's face had moved away from the screen revealing two more boys were leaning in, greeting her excitedly. Within moments, Niall squeezed into the frame as well. Everyone acted giddy, as though they hadn't seen her in months.

It seemed a little strange to her, that five boys who had so much other stuff going on, and so many other friends, could be so excited about her. Just her. She didn't understand it, but the truth was it warmed her heart. For so long she'd felt like a burden to everyone other than Lexie and her family, and it was nice to feel wanted.