Lost in London

"I'm sorry, are we boring you?" Louis asked, interrupting himself mid-sentence as Reilly checked her phone for at least the tenth time in the last thirty minutes.

Reilly looked up, blush tinting her cheeks, and shook her head as she slipped her phone into her pocket. It was Friday night and she was at dinner with Louis, Liam, and Zayn. The other two boys had been invited, but Harry declined, stating that he already had other plans, and Niall had simply not responded. In fact, Niall had been not responding to Reilly all week, and was the reason she had been checking her phone so often.

"I'm sorry," she said. "It's just weird that Niall wouldn't even reply to a message about food, right?" she asked.

Louis looked at her carefully. He'd been trying to figure out what was going on with Reilly since before they'd left Ireland, but every time he asked she would just brush him off. It was clear that she didn't want to talk to him about whatever it was, but it was in his very nature to want to know everything.

Finally he shrugged at her as Zayn spoke up. "He's been acting really off all week. I went over to see him day before yesterday and he was quiet the whole time. That's so unlike him," he said, then cast a side glance at Reilly. "Did something happen in Ireland?" he asked. He was trying to sound casual, but she heard his underlying tone loud and clear.

"I don't think so," she said, shaking her head and praying the boys wouldn't see through her fib. It was none of their business. It wasn't anyone's business other than hers and Niall's. She just wished Niall would stop avoiding her so they could move past it.

As if he could sense just how little she wanted the conversation to continue, Liam very blatantly changed the subject. Reilly had never been more thankful for a person understanding her in her entire life than she was in that moment, though she knew that he would bring it up at some point when it was just the two of them. And while he wouldn't push it, he would let her know he was there if she wanted to talk about it. She both loved and hated that about Liam. He never forced her to open up, but sometimes she felt bad when she didn't.

She didn't feel bad about not wanting to talk about sleeping with Niall. She had told Lexie because she told Lexie everything. And Harry knew, though Reilly wished he didn't. It was something that happened, and something that would not happen again. Plain and simple.

Their food arrived and the conversation carried on. Among other things, the boys chittered away about their excitement for the upcoming performances they had at the beginning of December. Reilly was happy about the timing, because they would be away the week of her final exams, which meant she would be able to get in all the study time she needed.

The boys insisted on paying for dinner, even though she had been the one to extend the invitation to them, and she had fully intended on paying for their meals. While she tried to argue a little, she didn't put up much of a fight because she knew it would get her nowhere. The boys she was with, and the two who were absent, had been nothing but kind and generous and all around wonderful the entire time she'd known them. Every time they did something nice for her she tried to think of a way to eventually repay them, though she knew nothing ever really could.

The restaurant the boys had taken her to was in a park. None of them were ready to go home, so they walked around, still carrying on ever changing conversation. At some point Reilly had relaxed and temporarily forgot that one of her friends was avoiding her. She was enjoying herself and the people she was with, and it didn't matter.

Louis wandered off on his own after whispering something into Liam's ear. Though Reilly wanted to wait for him to come back, Liam assured her that everything was fine, and that he would catch up. She wasn't convinced because they didn't seem to have a specific destination, and the park they were wandering through seemed very big. But, again, she decided not to argue.

After walking for awhile longer, she saw Louis up ahead of them, holding a soccer ball under his arm. Her entire face lit up and she broke into a jog and trotted toward him. He greeted her with a big smile.

"I thought you might like this," he said when she reached him. She grinned and they waited for the other two to catch up. "Alright," Louis said when Liam and Zayn were within earshot. "Since Reilly got over here first, she and I are the team captains. And since I am a gentleman, I will let her choose her team first."

Reilly looked carefully between the boys standing in front of her, not knowing how to choose between them. "Okay," she said finally. "Which one of you was always picked last in gym class?" she asked. Liam and Zayn looked at each other for a moment and then looked back at Reilly. Slowly, Zayn raised his hand. Reilly nodded toward him. "I pick Zayn," she said. He grinned widely and walked over to her. She led him a few steps away from the other boys and quickly discussed strategy.

They hadn't been playing long when she started to notice people watching them. Small groups of teenage girls had started to form. There weren't too many of them. The boys noticed too, and would occasionally give a wave after a camera flash went off.

The flashes were distracting and Reilly called a timeout. She took a few steps toward where the majority of girls had gathered. "Hey," she called out. "You guys wanna play?" she asked.

Louis was at her side in seconds, eyes wide. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"They're just standing there," she said, holding her arm out in the direction of the girls. "Why not let them join?" she said. Louis stared at her for a moment and then shrugged and walked back over to the boys. Reilly turned back and looked at the girls. "Seriously, you can come play with us, if you want," she called.

The girls looked at each other before a few cautiously began walking over. A few more trickled behind them, and some just stayed where they were. When they reached Reilly, she led them over to the boys. Introductions on her part weren't necessary, because the girls already knew who the boys were, and didn't really care who she was.

"Alright," she said. "I guess you can choose which team you want to be on, but it has to be even. It's Liam and Louis against Zayn and me, and we're ahead by two right now," she said, motioning between Zayn and herself. As she was saying this, a few more girls had decided to join.

They all looked at each other as though they were trying to figure out if this was really happening. When they all seemed satisfied that it was, they quickly started scrambling toward the team of their choice. Once everyone had chosen, Reilly led her team a few feet away to once again discuss strategy. Louis and Liam did the same with their team. After a couple minutes they all came back together and suddenly their teams of two had become teams of seven.

They played with friendly competition for awhile. Reilly's team lost their lead but then quickly regained it, before things started turning silly. It started with Liam getting frustrated after gaining a lead and then losing it, and forcing one of the girls to switch teams with him. Reilly jumped ship and joined Louis' team after a couple of the girls begged her to trade with them. Hands were being used by players other than the goalkeeper. Girls were falling and being leaped over. Eventually they all dissolved into giggles at the ridiculousness of the game and everyone fell to the ground.

Once they'd all collected themselves, the boys decided it was time to call it a night. Liam and Zayn had both missed calls from their girlfriends, and headed off to go see them. Louis and Reilly hung back while Louis chatted animatedly with the girls who were still there. A couple of the girls had been eyeing Reilly with curious looks. She smiled at them, trying to pretend like they weren't making her the slightest bit uncomfortable.

One of them finally made eye contact with her. "Aren't you Niall's girlfriend?" she asked bravely.

Reilly's eyes widened. "Excuse me?" she asked, taken slightly aback by the inquiry.

One of the other girls piped up. "We've seen pictures of you out with him, holding his hand. And didn't you just go to Ireland with him?" she asked.

"Um, I did, with Niall and Louis," she said cautiously. "We're just friends, though," she told them, shifting uncomfortably.

"Did he tell you to say that?" yet another girl questioned.

Reilly was suddenly beginning to feel very overwhelmed. She glanced over at Louis, hoping to catch his eye, but he was very engaged in his conversation. "What?" she asked, looking at the girls before glancing over at Louis again. This time, he looked over at her just as she was beginning to shift her gaze back to the girls.

"Did Niall tell you to say that you're not his girlfriend? We know he's really private, so," the first girl said, leaving her thought hanging.

Louis had excused himself from his conversation and slung his arm over Reilly's shoulder as he came up next to her in time to hear the question. "Ladies, give her a break. She's just a good friend of all of ours," Louis said, keeping his tone light. "Our little Niall is still single as ever. You have my word," he told them.

The girls seemed to accept Louis' answer as gospel, and they turned their full attention to him. He talked with them for a little while before politely excusing himself and Reilly, explaining that they needed to get going. "We don't want her turning into a pumpkin, now do we?" he said, waving at the girls as he and Reilly headed toward his car.

"Sorry," he told her, once they were safely in the confines of the car and headed toward her apartment.

"For what?" she asked.

He took his eyes off the road and looked at her for a moment before shifting his gaze back to where it was supposed to be. "Our fans are very curious, and they are quite possessive. We're theirs, you know?" he asked, and Reilly nodded, even though she didn't totally understand. "I shouldn't have left you alone with them," he said.

Reilly nodded again and stared out the window silently for the rest of the drive. Her heart began to flutter unexpectedly as they neared her apartment. Louis pulled the car over and her breath caught in her throat when she saw a figure standing by her door.

"Want me to walk you in?" he asked, taking note of the person outside.

She shook her head and reached for the door handle. "It's fine. It's just Niall," she told him.

He looked at her curiously. "How do you know?" he asked. He hadn't seen her check her phone since he'd busted her for it at dinner.

"I just do," she said, pushing the door open and getting out of the car. She waved to Louis and he drove off as she walked toward the door. Just as she'd said, Niall was standing in front of her apartment. He had a guitar case resting on the ground in front of him, and a backpack slung over one shoulder. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Thought we could have another guitar lesson," he said, leaning on the guitar case. Reilly raised her eyebrows and stared at him. "Can we go inside?" he asked.

"No," Reilly said. She made no move to get her keys to unlock the door.

Niall's eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "No?" he asked, and she repeated the word back to him and folded her arms across her chest. "Why not?" he asked.

"Because you can't just ignore me for a week and then show up outside my apartment with a guitar and think everything is going to be just fine. That's now how it works. You don't get to just be my friend when it's convenient for you," she told him.

"That's not what I'm doing. I called you earlier this week," he said defensively.

Frustration swelled inside of Reilly. "You called me when you knew I was in class, didn't leave a message, and then sent me to voicemail when I tried calling you back later. Don't even," she said.

"Don't even what?" he asked, his frustration starting to get the better of him. "You weren't exactly open to talking last Sunday morning when you snuck out of my room before I even woke up," he said heatedly.

Reilly huffed and pushed past him as she dug her keys out of her pocket. She unlocked the door and he followed her inside. Both of them were ready to start shouting a week's worth of pent up thoughts and frustrations.

"It shouldn't have happened," she shouted as soon as the door was shut.

Red crept up Niall's neck to his face as he tried to keep his anger in check. "That's exactly why I didn't call you all week. Because I didn't want to hear you say that what happened between us meant nothing to you," he shouted back. "That wasn't just meaningless sex, Reilly," he qualified.

She stared hard at him for a moment, part of her hoping that her glare would break his face. "I didn't say that," she said firmly, her voice lowering. "I said it shouldn't have happened."

Niall closed his eyes and rocked back on his heels. "You know what?" he said, opening his eyes and looking straight at her. "You're right. It shouldn't have happened. But it did. And I'm not sorry about it. We shared something very intimate. You can't deny that," he said.

Reilly felt all the fight leaving her. She sighed loudly as she walked around him without a word. He followed her to her bedroom and leaned against the door frame. She stood in front of her closet looking for pajamas to change into.

"Can I stay tonight?" he asked.

"No," she said.

"Please?" he asked. "I want to take you somewhere tomorrow," he told her.

She shook her head, trying to fight the tears that were building behind her eyes. "No," she said again, grabbing a shirt and changing into it.

"Please?" he asked again, as she slipped out of her jeans and into a pair of pajama pants.

"No."

He walked over to her cautiously. She looked up at him and he met her gaze. "Reilly, please," he said softly, pushing her hair away from her face and wiping away the tears that had begun to fall. Her face tingled under his touch.

Without warning, she collapsed into him. He wrapped his arms around her, and she nodded against his chest. He guided her to her bed and she climbed in. He stripped down to his underwear and pulled a pair of sweatpants from his backpack and slipped them on before climbing in bed next to her. They laid in silence while she collected herself, next to each other but not touching.

Finally she rolled onto her side to face him, and he did the same. She reached out and traced a fading mark on his bare shoulder. "I really did a number on you," she said quietly.

A tiny smile played at his lips. "Sure did, Darlin'," he said, referring to more than just the mark on his shoulder.

Reilly caught the inflection and sighed quietly as she pulled her hand away. "You know I can't give you what you want, Niall," she said.

"I know you say that, but I don't understand why," he told her honestly.

She shook her head at him. "I don't know how to explain it. I just don't have it in me. You deserve someone who does. Someone who doesn't make you work so hard for what should be given freely. Someone who can give freely," she told him. "And that will never be me."

"Why not?" he asked.

Reilly shrugged and looked away from him. "I just don't have it in me," she repeated.

He reached out and lifted her chin so she was looking at him. "I think you do and you just don't know it," he told her.