Lost in London

The week went by in such a way that seemed both incredibly slow and extremely fast. Reilly spent it immersed in her studies, just as she'd done before she met the boys. She answered a phone call here and there, and occasionally responded to a text message, but mostly she avoided the boys. She didn't feel like talking.

Niall hadn't attempted to contact her at all, and she didn't blame him. She hadn't exactly handled the situation well. Being in unfamiliar territory, she'd handled it in the way that seemed best at the time, and now what was done was done.

A knock on her front door on Thursday evening brought her out of the zone she'd gotten into. She looked at her watch as she stood up, and raised her eyebrows, surprised that it was still early. When she opened the door, she was half surprised to see Louis standing in front of her, and fully surprised that he was wearing his bitch face.

"Hi," she greeted him with a soft sigh, suddenly feeling exhausted. He stepped inside, and despite the look on his face, leaned in and kissed her cheek.

He continued into her apartment, and she followed him to the kitchen table, where he sat. She sat also and when he didn't say anything, she turned her attention back to the open textbook, quickly getting lost in it. It could have been seconds, or minutes, or hours maybe, she didn't know, before Louis finally spoke up.

"Are you sleeping with Niall?" he asked very bluntly.

Reilly looked up from her book and stared at him for a long moment. "I'm not having this conversation with you," she told him plainly.

"Why not?" he asked

She looked back down at her textbook. "Because who I am or am not sleeping with is, quite frankly, none of your business," she said.

"Really?" Louis asked, stretching the word out. Reilly nodded, keeping her eyes on the book. "I think it becomes my business when I get proper told off by a certain drunk Irishman who is suddenly too big for his britches," he said.

Reilly's head snapped up and her eyes locked onto Louis'. "No," she said. "Please tell me you're joking."

Louis' eyes narrowed. "Does it look like I'm joking, Love? He came over earlier and started yelling about how you won't be with him because of me, because I put ideas into your head, and I'm ruining everything you have. You being you and him," he clarified, and then continued. "And then he said that you told him you only tell me things because you feel like you have to."

"That's not what I said," Reilly argued defensively. "I said that you're very adamant about knowing things. But if there was something I didn't want you to know, I wouldn't tell you, simple as that," she said. Louis nodded and waited for her to continue. "The rest of it," she said and paused. She sighed heavily. "He's very angry with me right now. I told him I need some space. That's why I haven't been as responsive to you this week."

He nodded again and reached out, covering her hand with his and giving it a little squeeze. "Alright. I'll talk to him," he said.

"No," Reilly said, shaking her head. "I'll take care of it." She stood up and Louis cocked his head to the side, shooting a confused look at her. "Well, come on," she said, heading for the front door.

Louis got up and followed, brushing past her when she stopped to slip her feet into a pair of shoes, noting that she was wearing pajama pants. He mumbled that he didn't realize she meant now as he pulled open the door and disappeared outside. She grabbed her purse and keys and followed him to his car.

They drove in silence most of the way. It wasn't until they were near where the boys lived that Louis turned to look at her for a moment, lips pressed together tightly. "So," he said, turning his attention back to the road in front of him. "Just to clarify, you have been sleeping with Niall?" he asked.

Reilly shook her head. "I'm still not having this conversation with you," she said dismissively. "Though I do find it interesting that, with everything you know about me, you think I would just casually sleep with someone," she commented, staring out the window.

"Ah," Louis said. "I never said anything about it being casual, Love. It is Niall, after all."

She whipped her head around and looked at him. Louis found her shock amusing and let out a chuckle. Her eyes narrowed momentarily. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.

He laughed again. "Well, I think what I'm trying to say is that it is rather obvious that you have feelings for Niall, just as he has feelings for you."

Reilly huffed as the car came to a stop and threw her door open. But before she could get out, Louis caught her arm. "I need to go talk to him, Louis," she said yanking her arm from his grip and hitting her wrist on the dashboard in the process. She groaned. "Ow," she groaned, dragging the single syllable out.

Louis looked like he wanted to say something, but Reilly shot him a look and he sighed, pushing his own door open. She quickly started toward Niall's. "Do you want me to come with you?" he called after her.

Reilly only shook her head in response. She both wanted and needed to do this on her own. When she reached Niall's door, she rang the doorbell. Moments later, an unsteady blond boy pulled open the door. He was wearing wrinkled jeans and a dirty tshirt. His short hair was tangled and obviously dirty. Reilly's heart nearly stopped at the sight of the mess he was in front of her.

The moment his eyes met hers, his face fell. "What do you want?" he asked. "Thought you needed space," he shot at her.

Reilly rolled her eyes and pushed past him. He closed the door behind her a little harder than normal, and she jumped at the sound it made. Angry drunks were not new to her, though she was a little out of practice in dealing with them. She closed her eyes for a moment and pushed away the memories of her father screaming at her, breaking glasses, toppling furniture, and slamming doors shortly after her mother died out of her head. This was not the same. Niall was not her father.

Beer bottles littered his living room and kitchen. A heavy sigh escaped her as she began collecting them. "Tell me you did not drink all these today," she said.

"Nope," he said, coming out of the kitchen with two beers in his hands. "Started on Tuesday," he told her. He set one of the beers on the counter when he saw her hands were full of empties. "You can just leave those. Relax. Have a beer," he said, bringing his own bottle to his mouth and tipping it up.

"You need to stop, Niall," she said, continuing to fill her arms with empty bottles. She walked into the kitchen when she couldn't hold any more and carefully set them down on the counter. She turned the faucet on and began rinsing out the bottles. When he looked over at her, she grabbed the full bottle he'd set down for her and poured it into the sink.

"What did you do that for?" he exclaimed, a horrified expression taking over his face.

She turned the sink off and wiped her hands on her pants. "You need to stop, Niall," she repeated. "What are you doing? What's wrong with you?" she asked, her voice raising with every sentence. "You completely lost your shit and went off on Louis, when none of this has anything to do with him."

Niall took another drink of his beer and glared at Reilly. "You won't be with me, and it's because of him. It's because you don't want him to know. Why is that, Darlin'? You want to be with him? And I'm just," he paused long enough to take another drink of beer. "Just the second choice. Your consolation prize?" he shouted.

Reilly closed her eyes momentarily. "You think I have feelings for Louis just because I told you that I don't want to sleep with you anymore?" she shouted back as she took a few steps forward and snatched the beer from his hand. She walked back to the sink and dumped the remaining contents down the drain before dropping the bottle into the sink with a loud clank. "You didn't even stop to consider that maybe I just don't want to sleep with you?" she shot at him.

As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them. Niall's face fell and his expression alternated between hurt, confused, and angry, and then became a mix of them all. Silence fell between them, neither one knowing what to say next. With a sigh, Reilly turned and took a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. Cautiously, she took a few steps toward Niall and held the glass out to him. He stared at it for a moment before taking it from her and setting it on the counter.

"So, that's it," he said. "You just," he paused. "You just don't want to sleep with me. That's it."

Reilly shook her head, blinking back tears. "That's not it, Niall. It's so unfair to you. Because you give and give and give, and all I do is take. I don't give anything back," she said, her voice wavering. Niall just shrugged. "You can't date me if I'm not dating you. You just can't." Tears escaped her eyes and slid down her cheeks. "I care about you, Niall. I do. I want to be your friend, because that's what I can give."

"No," Niall said pushing the water glass back and forth between his hands, not looking at Reilly. "That's all you choose to give, Reilly."

She closed her eyes and shook her head. Tears were now pouring down pouring down her face. Her heart was aching in an unfamiliar way and her knees felt weak. She gripped the counter for support. "No. You don't understand," she said.

"Then explain it to me," Niall yelled and slammed the glass down on the counter. Water splashed everywhere, and it was a miracle the glass didn't shatter.

Reilly flinched and kept her eyes closed. Niall may have noticed if he were sober, but his level of intoxication prevented him from being aware of her reactions. She couldn't look at him. "I can't. I don't know how," she said quietly.

He laughed dryly. "Maybe send me an email when you figure it out," he said.

Opening her eyes, she met his hard stare. "You know what? I'm done here," she said. She walked over to the refrigerator, legs wobbly at first but regaining strength as adrenaline pumped through it. She opened it and took out all the beer he had left in it. "And so are you," she said.

He tried to stop her as she walked past him but she pushed him away. The fact that he was intoxicated worked to her advantage in that moment. She stormed out and immediately went Louis', not even bothering to knock on his door.

He looked up as she walked in, taking in her tear streaked face and red eyes, and arms full of beer. Before he could say anything, she put all the beer on the counter. "You need to keep this away from him," she said. "And you also need to stay away from him for now."

With that, she turned on her heel and stalked out, heading straight for Liam's. She pounded on the door until he answered, concern written all over his face when he saw her. "You need to get over to Niall's right now and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. He's on a three day bender, and he's pissed at me, and he's pissed at Louis, and he's probably pissed that I took his beer away. Do not let him drink any more. I mean it, Liam."

Before he could respond, she turned and ran to Harry's. She briefly considered going to Zayn, but she didn't want to burden him. And besides, Harry knew more than anyone else about what was going on. He answered the door and upon seeing her, immediately wrapped his arms tightly around her and pulled her inside.

He led her to the couch and sat down, holding her close to his chest as she cried into his shirt and whispered to her that everything would be fine. It wasn't until she stared to calm down that she realized Harry had no idea why exactly she was in hysterics. When she finally managed to collect herself, she told him everything. Once the words started flowing, they wouldn't stop.

Harry rubbed her back until she finished explaining. "It's alright. You're alright. He's just upset. This isn't like him. But once he sobers up he'll be fine. He's going to feel really badly about what he's done and said. But you'll both be fine," he reassured her.

Reilly sighed and collapsed against the back of the couch. "I don't know, Harry. I don't know if he and I will ever really be fine again. I think I handled the situation very poorly, and I think he's handling that really poorly," she told him. "I think he wants to hurt me the way I hurt him," she said quietly.

Before he could respond, the laptop that was open on the table next to the couch made a noise that Reilly would know anywhere. It was the ring of a Skype call. Harry stared at it, seemingly unsure if he should answer it. Reilly looked over, curious about what his hesitation was, and was shocked to see the name Lexie James on the screen. She gave Harry a confused looked before reaching over and pressing the button to answer the call.

Lexie looked just as shocked to see Reilly as Reilly had been to see her best friend's name on Harry's computer screen. "Oh, hey Reilly," she said. "Um, I was going to tell you that Harry and I have been talking a little bit, but you were really upset on Sunday and, honestly, you don't look much better right now. Are you okay?" she asked, and then continued without waiting for a response. "Anyway, the timing never seemed quite right, and I'm really sorry," she said.

Reilly shrugged and shook her head. "No, it's fine," she said. "I just didn't know boyband was your type," she commented.

Harry looked at Reilly like she was crazy. "I'm sitting right here, you know," he said and Reilly shrugged again.

Lexie laughed. "He's not so much boyband. He's more dirty hipster," she said.

"I'm sitting right here! I can hear you," Harry exclaimed.

They giggled together and Reilly felt some of her burden shift. Being silly with her best friend was exactly what she needed. Both girls looked at Harry. "Get used to it," they said at the same time.