Lost in London

It took some convincing but Reilly ended up sleeping at Harry's. Neither he nor Lexie thought it was a good idea for her to be alone with her thoughts. If it had just been one of them, she probably would have gotten her way, but with both of them insisting, and Harry refusing to drive her, she ended up giving in. He drove her home in the morning and made breakfast for her while she got ready for the one class she had on Fridays and then insisted on driving her to school. She felt like she was being treated like a child, like no one thought she could take care of herself just because she'd had a fight with Niall.

Though it was impossible to say for sure, if she'd been allowed to be alone the night before, she may not have spent her entire class dwelling on what had happened. And she might not have started blaming herself for it. But that's exactly what happened. By the time she got home, she had managed to completely convinced herself that everything that happened the night before, and also in general between her and Niall was her fault.

She walked through the door to her apartment to find Harry sitting on her couch, eating a sandwich and watching her TV. He looked over at her when she walked in and smiled, motioning for her to come sit with him, but she stayed where she was.

"How did you get in here?" she asked with a tired sigh.

"Left the door unlocked when I took you to school. I thought someone should be here when you got home," he said, turning his attention back to the TV.

Reilly sighed again and shook her head. "I don't need a babysitter, thank you very much," she said.

They were both silent for a few moments, and she started to get frustrated that he seemed to be ignoring her. She was just about to tell him to leave when he finally spoke without looking over at her. "Lexie told me that you would, undoubtedly, want to go see Niall," he confessed.

That was the problem with having a best friend who knew you inside and out. She knew how Reilly would react in almost any situation, and now that she was in contact with Harry, that information was apparently going to be passed along.

"And so I thought to myself, 'Harold, you should be there when Reilly gets home so you can drive her to Niall's so they can have a conversation like grown ups.' Wouldn't you say that's a good idea?" he asked.

Reilly raised an eyebrow at the curly haired boy. "Fine, let's go," she said, finally putting her textbook on the table. She turned and walked toward the front door.

Harry had barely pulled the car onto the road when Reilly cleared her throat. "What exactly are your intentions?" she asked.

He gave her a sideways glance. "Excuse me?" he asked, clearly confused.

"With Lexie."

A laugh tumbled from his mouth. "Well, I don't quite know. We've only just started speaking. She's a nice girl. Very pretty," he told her.

Reilly nodded in agreement. Anyone who saw Lexie would agree. But she wasn't leaving it at that. "I'm going to tell you this now, and I want you to keep it in mind," she said. Harry's eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "If you break her heart, I'll break your legs," she said simply, but there was a firmness to her tone that told him how serious she was.

Such a threat coming from someone of Reilly's size was an easy thing to brush off, but Harry nodded. "Duly noted," he said. He was quiet for a moment before adding, "I like that you're looking out for her."

"I'm going to tell her the same thing about you," she admitted.

A grin broke out across Harry's face. He took one hand off the steering wheel and reached over to ruffle Reilly's hair. She made a face and swatted his hand away, causing him to chuckle. "You're a doll," he told her.

They were quiet for the rest of the drive. Reilly stared blankly out the window. She had no idea what she was going to say to Niall, or if he would even talk to her. And before she knew it, she was standing outside his door, lifting her hand and ringing the doorbell. Liam answered moments later and motioned for her to come inside, placing a kiss on her cheek as she did so.

"He's in the shower," he told her before she could say anything.

"How is he?" she asked.

Liam shrugged. "He was really angry last night. I kept him awake for as long as I could and made him drink massive amounts of water. He seemed much better this morning, but he's kind of pouty. I think he'll feel better once he's clean and dressed. You know," he said. Reilly nodded. "And since you're here now, I'm going to go. Unless you need me to stay."

She shook her head. "I'll take it from here," she said, leaning in and giving Liam a big hug. She was grateful he hadn't asked her for details. "Thank you," she mumbled.

He hugged her tightly. "Anything for you. You know that," he told her and placed a kiss on the top of her head before letting go. "See you later," he said and disappeared out the door.

Reilly wandered further into the house and sighed at the mess. He had either been very angry or very drunk, because chairs had been overturned. She pushed resurfacing memories from her mind as she picked them up and then began cleaning up. Part of her wondered why Liam hadn't cleaned anything up, but she mostly just figured that Niall had been a handful.

She was nearly finished when Niall came down the hallway. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her and just stared at her for a moment. His hair was flopped across his forehead, wet from the shower and dark against his pale, Irish skin. His eyes were bright, but he looked understandably tired.

"Reilly," he said finally. "I didn't expect to see you." He reached up and scratched the back of his neck and looked around at the nearly clean rooms, and then walked over to Reilly and took the garbage bag from her hands. "I was going to get to that. Liam told me I had to clean up my own mess. Literally and figuratively," he told her, and began gathering the last of the mess.

"Oh," she replied. "He didn't tell me that."

"He probably thought you would feel the same way," he commented, dropping the last few bottles into the bag and tying it up. He went into the kitchen and came back empty handed moments later. "Thank you for your help," he said quietly, almost nervously.

They stood in silence for a long time, both unsure of what to do or say next. Both of their hearts were pounding, wanting the other to speak first. Wanting the situation to fix itself. But they knew better.

"Can we talk?" she asked him finally. Niall nodded slowly. Reilly sat down at the table, putting one foot up on the chair and rested her chin on her bent knee. He sat down next to her, but kept a good distance between them. "I think I need to apologize. This is all my fault," she said.

Niall quickly interjected. "No. Don't do that. Don't blame yourself for this, Darlin'," he said.

She shook her head and continued, determined to say what was on her mind. "You told me how you felt, and I basically just led you on. Even before you told me how you felt, I had Louis, and Harry, and to a point, Liam telling me how you felt. And I just ignored them. I guess, truthfully, I'm no different than any other girl. I liked the attention you were giving me. And that was incredibly selfish of me. I should never have let it go as far as it did," she said.

A frown pulled at the corner of his mouth, and he reached over, gently brushing his fingertips against hers. Sparks shot through her body and it took all her self control not to yank her hand away from him.

"It's just as much my fault," he told her. "I kept saying one thing and doing another. It's like, I heard you say that you didn't want more than friendship, but I kept thinking that maybe if I showed you that I would treat you well without anything in return that you would change your mind. And I like giving you attention. I like making you feel special, because you are." He paused and tried to catch her gaze, but she kept shifting it to avoid his. "But I've been thinking about what you said last night. And if my choices are friendship, or nothing, I want to be your friend. That's assuming you still want to be my friend after the way I acted last night," he said.

"Of course I do, Niall," she said, finally meeting his gaze. "I just think we need to set some definite boundaries."

They spent the next hour, or maybe longer, talking. The more they talked, the closer their chairs moved together, inch by inch. It was like a magnetic force was pulling them toward each other, and there was nothing either one could do to stop it completely.

Eventually the conversation shifted, and then drifted off and the quiet settled around them. Neither minded. In the short time they'd known each other, it had always been okay that sometimes words weren't needed.

They sat with each other, losing themselves in their own thoughts, and Reilly found that she wasn't ready to forgive herself fully. It didn't matter what Niall said, she wasn't convinced that he was at fault for where they were. She should have been stronger, instead of letting herself get caught up in the way he made her feel.

"Can I ask you something?" Niall asked, shattering the silence and breaking her from her thoughts. Reilly looked up at him and nodded. "I remember last night, you were crying. And I remember that you looked really scared, like, pure terror at one point. Was I that bad? I mean, I know I was in bad shape, but," he trailed off, letting his thought hang.

Reilly breathed in deeply and then let it out with a heavy sigh. This was one of those conversations she didn't want to have, but some part of her felt like she owed it to boy sitting next to her. "No," she said. "I was just," she paused and collected her thoughts. "My father was a really angry drunk after my mom died. He would yell and break break things and just," she sighed again and shrugged. "It was always directed at me. I would clean up after him once he finally went to bed, but he really scared me sometimes. That's not something anyone should have to deal with, let alone a thirteen year old who just lost her mother."

A look of sadness filled Niall's eyes. "Did he," he began and then paused, unsure if he should ask the question that was on his mind. He didn't want to push Reilly, but she was giving him a look that said it was okay to continue. "Did he hit you?" he asked, his voice wavering.

Reilly shook her head quickly. So quickly that he wasn't sure if she was being entirely honest. "No. He never hit me," she said. Niall looked into her eyes, searching, and she could tell. "Niall, I promise. He never hit me," she told him.

He reached over and covered her hand with his, giving it a little squeeze. "I'm sorry, Reilly," he said, and she gave him a curious look. "I'm sorry I scared you last night. That tears me up inside knowing I made you feel unsafe. I'm not that guy. And I'm sure that's the excuse every asshole gives, but I really mean it. I never, ever want you to feel like I'm going do anything that would harm you."

The corners of her lips turned upward the slightest bit and she reached over and put her hand on top of his that was covering her other one. "I know, Niall. The whole thing just brought back bad memories. I was scared of my father. I wasn't scared of you," she said.

"You're sure?" he asked, and she nodded. With a quiet sigh, she sat back in the chair, letting her hand slip off of his. He slowly pulled his hand away from hers and stared at the table. "I guess I should probably go apologize to Lou."