Lost in London

"Well, you won't be able to stay here since we gave your old room to Zachary," Reilly's father said through the phone line.

Weeks had flown by. The boys had surprised her, undoubtedly at Lexie's suggestion, with a Thanksgiving dinner. It had always been her favorite day as a child. She had many fond memories of helping her mother prepare dinner, mostly by being the 'official taster' as her mother always called it. By the time she was eleven, she had been put in charge of making the pies. She would spend the entire day prior to Thanksgiving making different kinds, with pumpkin being her specialty.

It was now December and she was trying to get her holiday plans set. She was in the middle of her final exams, and the boys had been gone for a little more than a week, and weren't set to return for another week. She had spoken with them sporadically, whenever they both had a few free moments at the same time. And though she wouldn't want to admit it, she had started to miss them being around.

Reilly didn't bother to ask why the guest room, which had previously been Zachary's room, wasn't available. She had no desire whatsoever to stay in the house she grew up in. "Yeah, I heard," she said, trying to keep her tone even. Starting a fight with her father was the last thing she wanted, next to having to talk to him at all. "I can stay with Lexie. I figured I would spend Christmas eve with her family, anyway, and then go to Grammy's for Christmas brunch, and have Christmas dinner wherever you guys are going to be, at the house?" she questioned, and continued before he had a chance to respond. "If that's okay with you," she finished.

By the way it took him an extra second to answer, she could tell he was only half listening to her. "That's fine," he said. "We haven't decided on dinner yet. We may just have a quiet night and not make a big deal about it. If that's the case you can just have dinner with your friend's family," he said dismissively. She had been friends with Lexie for years, and but that was how her father had always referred to her. It was just one more way he told Reilly how little she mattered to him. "I'll book your flight this week," he told her.

"I can do it. I just wanted to make sure it didn't interfere with whatever you already had planned. If you all were going away for the holiday, or something," she said.

"I'll take care of it," her father said, a slight edge to his tone.

Reilly was all too familiar with that tone, and knew to let it go. "Thank you," she said meekly, holding back a sigh. Tears welled behind her eyes, and she blinked rapidly to make them stay where they were.

"I'll send you an email with your itinerary when I have it," he said. And before Reilly could even squeak out an 'okay', the line disconnected.

She let out a heavy sigh set her phone down. The tears begged to fall, but she blinked again and sniffled, determined not to let her father get to her. She was going home to see her best friend in a couple weeks. And that was something she wouldn't let anyone ruin.

Before going back to studying, she went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer. Her refrigerator was well stocked with it due to the fact that the boys always brought more whenever two or more came over together. And they had been over a lot the week prior to them leaving, knowing they were going to be gone for over two weeks.

She returned to her couch and grabbed a textbook, losing herself in it almost immediately. Most people found studying to be a grueling task, but she loved it. Learning had always been one of her favorite things.

It wasn't long before the ring of a Skype call sounded from her open computer. She looked up from her text book and was surprised by the name on the screen. A tiny smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she pressed the answer button and a dark haired boy appeared on her screen.

"You almost never call me. To what do I owe this pleasure?" she asked. The previously tiny smile had stretched across her face the moment she saw him.

He grinned goofily at her. "Well, I was doing a little doodle, you know, like I do when I'm bored, and it came out kind of looking like you. And I realized I was thinking about you, and I kind of felt like I should call you. Are you okay?" he asked.

Reilly just shrugged. "I just talked to my father. It went about as I expected, but I needed to get my holiday plans figured out." She waved her hand through the air, as though she was waving off the interaction with her father. "No matter, it's set, now. I'm glad you called. Show me this doodle you speak of?" she asked.

Zayn grabbed a piece of paper and held it up so she could see. It was covered in drawings of all sorts. Animals, space ships, aliens, and in the bottom right corner was a girl. She had long hair, and was clutching large books to her chest. Her cheeks were dark and a tiny smile graced her lips. On her feet were ballet slippers laced up her legs and one foot was resting on top of a soccer ball. It was all very Reilly, but what really sold it was the ring he'd drawn on the middle finger of the girl's left hand. Such a tiny detail that could have been so easily overlooked.

Without really thinking, she reached down and twisted the pearl ring she'd been wearing since she was thirteen years old. "She's blushing," Reilly commented.

He laughed. "You do that a lot. Even still. I really thought you'd stop after you knew us better," he said. "Anyway, thought I'd save it for you. Maybe you can hang it on that board in your room, yeah?" he suggested.

It didn't take long before the other boys caught wind that Zayn was talking to Reilly. Over the next hour they were all popping in and out of the frame, pushing each other around and making each other leave. It was enough to put Reilly's troubled mind at ease, and almost make her forget the exchange with her father. Almost.

After shoving Harry away from the computer and yelling that he just wanted two minutes, Louis smiled widely through the computer. "Can I just say that I wish you could have come with us?" he said to her. Reilly blushed and shook her head at him, like he being ridiculous. "We all miss you. It's ridiculous, isn't it?"

She giggled. "You are all ridiculous. I can''t even grasp why you all seem to love me so much. I'm not anything special," she told him.

"That is where you are completely wrong. You are quite special, and we're all so happy that you gave in and became a part of our little family. And speaking of," he said, not giving her a chance to argue, "Cara is finished with her exams on Friday, and she'll be coming down to stay at my place until I get back. She would love to see you, if you're not going to be too busy."

"Sure," Reilly said with a nod. "I'm done Friday, also. I'll have all the free time in the world for her. Just give her my number and tell her to call me whenever," she said, thinking how nice it would be to have some one on one time with another girl. She spent so much time with the boys that she'd almost forgotten what it was like to have friends who were girls.

"Fantastic. She is going to be so excited," he told her and then looked off to the side. Someone was talking to him, but she couldn't hear who it was. "I literally just started talking to her, Mate," he said and whoever he was talking to started to argue with him. He rolled his eyes and looked back to Reilly. "Niall is giving me those bloody puppy dog eyes, and I don't feel like listening to him whine, so I'm going to let him talk to you. But I'm going to try to call you tomorrow. You look like something's wrong, and I want to talk to you," he told her.

She shook her head and waved her hand in the air, dismissing his concern. "I'm fine, Louis. You should enjoy your free time instead of spending it talking to me. You really don't have to worry about me," she said.

"Well, I do worry about you, and you're just going to have to accept that," he said and then blew a kiss at her before getting up and disappearing from the view of the camera.

She sighed quietly to herself and waited for Niall. It didn't matter how long she'd been friends with them, she could not get used to having people worry about her. Of course, Lexie had always been there for her, but she showed her concern in a different way. The boys always acted like they had to protect her and take care of her, but she was so accustomed to taking care of herself.

Niall finally came onto the screen and immediately started talking her ear off, telling her stories of things he'd done, and all the places he'd seen. He was acting like he hadn't talked to her in months, when in reality it had only been a few days. But the more he talked, the more she relaxed. Something about him calmed her and made her feel like everything was going to be okay, like nothing else had to matter. But other things did matter, and as soon as he was gone, those things would creep back up from the back of her mind.

When she reached for her beer and took a drink, he raised an eyebrow at her. "Drinking alone?" he asked, and she nodded. "Everything alright, Darlin'?"

She nodded at him again, but once the question fell from his lips, every single truthful answer she could give weighed on her. "It's just," she paused and let out a slow breath. "I don't know. Never mind. I don't want to burden you. I know you're busy," she told him.

Worry creased his forehead and he stared at her for a long moment. "You're not a burden," he said finally. "I wish there was some way I could make you understand and believe that. Can you just tell me what's on your mind?" he asked.

Reilly stayed quiet for a long time, and Niall waited patiently. The way he was so calm made it seem like he would wait forever. "Well," she said finally, "I know you guys are in New York, and you have a couple days off. I was just," she sighed and bit her lip, unsure she really wanted to continue. But she collected and rephrased her thoughts. "Were you planning on visiting your family in Boston at all while you're over there?" she asked.

"I hadn't really thought about it. Why do you ask?" he inquired. She shrugged and dropped her eyes down to the floor to avoid his gaze. Even through a computer screen it still made her a little uneasy the way he could get her to open up just by looking into her eyes. "Reilly, tell me," he prodded gently.

She brought her eyes back to screen and caught his. "Well, I don't want you to go out of your way or anything like that. So, if you were planning on going, I was going to see if I could ask you a favor. A really huge one," she said.

"Anything, Darlin'. What is it?" he asked.

***

Two days later Niall found himself walking through a cemetery in Boston, Massachusetts. In his arms was a large bouquet of lilies. It had taken some coaxing, but Reilly finally opened up to him. And he was true to his word that he would do any favor she asked of him.

He took his time walking the path she had explained to him, taking in his surroundings. What she had asked of him was extremely personal, and he was trying to understand just a little bit of what she might feel. His heart was heavy at the thought of her heart breaking with every step she had taken through the cemetery in the years before.

The winter air was cold, but he didn't let that rush his when he reached his destination. He set the flowers down and studied the headstone. It contained the standard "In Loving Memory" along with her name, Laney Quinn, followed by her date of birth and date of death. It was the etching underneath that he read over and over.

Dance to the song of my heart
Walk by the light of my memory
In love I am with you always
In death I live on through you

He stood there for a long time before pulling his phone from his pocket. He scrolled through his phone, and then brought it to his ear. It rang, and rang again before Reilly's soft voice came through the line. Something about it was off, and he was almost positive she had been crying. "I'm here," he told her. She sniffled, affirming his suspicious. "Talk to me. Tell me about her. Anything you want. I've got all day."