Lost in London

Reilly stared hard at herself in the bathroom mirror. The girl who stared back had dark circles underneath tired eyes, ready to admit defeat. Her skin was dull, mouth turned down in a permanent frown. It had been a few months since the last time she'd seen this girl, but she was all too familiar with her.

With a heavy sigh, she looked down at the dress she was wearing. It was the third one she'd put on that evening, black with wide shoulder straps and fitted throughout the bodice but loose enough in the skirt for her to move. The hem hit just above her knees, and with three and a half inch heels appeared to elongate her legs. Silver studs trimmed the sweetheart neckline, went down the front in three rows that stretched her slim frame, and in parenthesis on the skirt of the dress, accentuating the curve of her hips in a flattering manner.

She sighed again and rubbed at her face, trying to wipe away the new-old look she had taken on over the last few days. When it didn't work, she practiced forcing her smile, trying to make it look real. The last thing she needed was the boys worrying about her. The night wasn't about her, it was about Louis, and she didn't want to take a single moment away from him.

When she finally emerged wearing her best game face, Fallon was waiting for her. She wore a short, black strapless dress with red trim and a poofy a-line skirt. Her hair was loosely curled and pulled back into a messy-looking ponytail that had probably taken entirely too long to perfect.

"Are you really wearing your hair like that?" Fallon asked of her sister's long waves falling down her back and draping over her shoulders. Reilly responded only by glaring at the older girl as she opened the hall closet to retrieve her coat. "I admit, I was actually shocked when you said we were going to a party tonight for one of your dumb little boy band friends," she went on. "If this thing sucks, we're not staying."

Reilly didn't even try to stop herself from rolling her eyes. "There's going to be an open bar, so you can get shitfaced and pass out and not remember a thing tomorrow, just like you do at the frat parties you go to at home," she said as she buttoned her coat. A car horn sounded outside. "That's us," she said, reaching for the door. Louis had insisted on sending a car to pick the girls up and wouldn't even begin to hear her argument. It was his birthday, and he was going to do what he wanted whether she agreed with it or not. "Don't forget your coat."

It wasn't a long drive and before they knew it, the car stopped outside a beautiful building. Before she got out, Reilly reached into her purse to offer a tip to the driver, but he assured her that everything had been taken care of already, and bid her a good night. She slid out of the car and walked past her sister without a word and into the building.

After checking their coats, they made their way into the party that was already well underway. Reilly scanned the room quickly, looking for a familiar face. Her eyes landed on Louis and she pasted a fake smile on her face and headed toward him with Fallon in tow. When she got close he saw her, and his face brightened like a child on Christmas morning.

"Reilly!" he exclaimed, dragging out her name as he wrapped his arms around her, and placed a kiss on her cheek. "So happy you're here, Love," he said. He had clearly been drinking already, and Reilly just chuckled to herself. His hand slid down her arm and took hold of her hand. "I recall specifically asking you not to look better than me at my party, and you show up looking proper fit in that number," he said, lifting her hand in the air and spinning her around. "What ever am I going to do with you?"

Reilly cheeks flushed as she giggled at his comment. She was just about to say something when Fallon cleared her throat behind her. "Right, where are my manners? Louis, this is my sister, Fallon," she said, turning and motioning toward the slightly taller girl. "Fallon, this is the birthday boy, Louis."

Louis eyed Fallon carefully. "Ah, the sister," he said, extending his hand toward her. "It's nice to meet you, Fallon." She took his hand and gave it a slight shake. "There are several wonderful bartenders who will make you any drink your heart desires, and loads of food. Please help yourself, and if you need anything, just let me know," he said.

"Thanks," she said, eyeing Reilly for a moment before looking at Louis. "I think I will. Help myself, that is. I doubt I'll be needing anything from you," she said. With that, she turned on her heel and walked toward the bar.

Louis watched her walk away and give a low whistle. "Wow. You're weren't joking about her, were you?" he asked, bringing his eyes to meet Reilly's. She shook her head in response. The fake smile she'd practiced earlier was not even something she could think about attempting. "I'm worried about you," he told her honestly. "You look unhappy."

She raised her eyebrows at him. "My family being here is every bit as awful as I'd imagined it would be, and then some," she said. "But you know what? I don't want to bring you down tonight. Well, or any night, actually. But especially not tonight."

"You could never bring me down, Love. But I understand what you're saying. Have a drink, relax, and enjoy yourself. You are among people who love you," he said. Something caught his attention and he turned his head for a moment. His face brightened again and he turned back to Reilly with a huge grin. "You must meet my mum. She's going to adore you. Come with me," he said, taking hold of her hand and leading the way across the large room.

Shortly after Louis made the introductions, Cara bounced over to them. The girls gushed over how pretty each other looked and got carried away in conversation. Liam, flying solo for the night since his girlfriend had already gone home for the holidays, joined them at some point. Being surrounded by her friends put Reilly at ease and she almost forgot that her sister was there somewhere, doing God only knows what.

She had excused herself and gone to the bar to get some water when she heard a low voice behind her. "Well I do believe I've found the prettiest girl in all of London tonight," he said, his voice slow.

Her cheeks tinted pink even though she knew exactly who it was, and she turned to be greeted by Harry's warm eyes. He wore black slacks, a white button down shirt with the top two buttons undone, and his signature smile, that slowly stretched into a grin at the sight of her flushed face.

"I don't know, Harry. I think you might have me beat," she said.

He put his hand on his chest dramatically. "Really? You think I'm the prettiest girl in the entire city?" he asked, batting his eyelashes furiously at her. She giggled and nodded as she leaned in to hug him. He placed a kiss on her cheek and returned the embrace. "You smell very nice tonight, as well," he told her. "I also like when you wear heels. Makes this whole thing a lot less awkward. And speaking of awkward," he went on, "I heard from Louis that your sister is here."

Reilly nodded at him, and then quickly steered the conversation in a different direction. The last thing she wanted was to talk about her family and start feeling bad again. It was never hard with Harry. If she even hinted at not wanting to talk about something he would let it go. Instead they people watched, and made up conversations people might be having across the room. A couple times Reilly tried to get Harry to dance with her but he refused, until a slow song came on and he let her drag him to the dance floor.

But when the song changed, Harry was finished. She grudgingly followed him back the the side of the room where they joined Zayn and his girlfriend. It wasn't long before Reilly felt a pair of eyes staring her down, and she knew immediately that it was Fallon. All she wanted was to not be in her sister's line of vision.

As luck would have it, someone familiar walked by and she quickly reached out and caught his arm. He turned, looking confused for just a moment, before understanding took over his expression and a smile broke through. "I didn't know you were going to be here," she said to him.

Olly grinned at her. "Well, I just thought I'd stop by for a few. I'm not staying long, I don't think," he told her.

"No, come on," she said quickly. "I'm dying to get out on the dance floor, and no one will dance with me. Except Harry, but he will only dance to slow songs."

He laughed and gave a nod. "Alright. I don't see how I can say no to a pretty girl asking me to dance with her," he said, holding out his arm. She happily took it and let him lead her to the dance floor.

Once they were out there, Reilly got lost in the music. Her body moved almost on its own, and all her worries seemed to float away. Just as she remembered, Olly was not the best dancer, but he didn't care and was having fun, and that made up for it. They danced together for several songs, and she could tell he was getting tired when he breathed an obvious sigh of relief when the music slowed.

He looked at her for a moment before hesitantly holding a hand out to her. She took it immediately and he pulled her toward him. "I remember when I first met you on the stage at my show, I unintentionally caused you a bit of trouble," he said. "Did you and Niall ever get things sorted?" he asked, looking her in the eyes.

She returned his gaze and gave a little shrug. Not long after they'd started dancing, her heart began flutter, and she knew Niall had finally made it to the party. She'd been doing her best to ignore it, but it had suddenly become nearly impossible.

"He and I are in a weird place right now," she said vaguely. It would be entirely too difficult to try to explain the entire situation to Olly, so she left it at that. He hummed in response, and she suddenly felt like he knew something she didn't. And he did.

Seconds later, someone cleared their throat behind her. "Can I cut in?" the Irish accented voice asked. Olly gave her a questioning look and with a sigh, she gave a slight nod. He dropped his hand from her waist and stepped back, allowing the younger boy step into his place.

"You're avoidin' me, Darlin'," Niall pointed out as he gently rested one hand against her hip. Her skin tingled when he took her hand in his.

She shrugged. "I get kind of lost when I dance," she told him. It wasn't untrue, but he wasn't wrong either.

He chuckled at her response, or lack thereof, really. "I told you I'm not mad," he said softly as they swayed to the Elton John song that was playing.

Reilly nodded and let out a sigh. "I know. But I am," she said. He gave her a questioning look. "At myself," she clarified, "for hurting you. And for letting myself get caught up in the way being around you makes me feel. But mostly for hurting you."

"Ya know," he said, "I've been thinkin' a bit about what you said the other night. That being around me makes you feel good." He tried to catch her gaze but she refused to oblige, and he let out a soft sigh. "Reilly, being around people you care about should make you feel that way. That's how it's supposed to be. If I make you feel anything other than good, I'm doing something wrong," he told her.

A million thoughts raced through her head and she looked anywhere but at Niall's face. "I don't want to talk about this," she said. "I know you're not going to let me avoid this conversation forever, but," she paused and let out the sigh she was trying so hard to hold back. "Can we just dance for now?" she asked quietly, finally bringing her eyes up to his.

Niall's bright blue eyes bore into hers and he gave a slight nod. She let out a slow breath, thankful that he agreed, and let her eyes fall away from his. Looking at him had become difficult for reasons she couldn't even understand, or possibly that she refused to acknowledge.

When they'd started dancing there had been a fair amount of space between them, but as the song played on, the space lessened inch by inch. Reilly didn't even realize it until she felt Niall's face against the side of her head as he softly sang along to the song.

"Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man. Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand and now she's in me, always with me. Tiny dancer in my hand," his sweet voice sang into her ear. He pulled her closer until their bodies were touching. Reilly closed her eyes and rested her head against his, breathing in his scent. He smelled clean, familiar. She felt safe, and that scared her in a way that made no sense to her.

As the song was coming to an end, Niall let out a heavy sigh. "I kissed someone," he said before she could even look up at him.

Her stomach sunk as his words hit her ears, but she did her best to play it off like it didn't matter. By her own doing, they weren't together, and she knew she had no right to be upset. "You don't have to tell me that, Niall," she said, glancing up at him.

"Yes, I do," he said. "It was the other night, after I walked you home," he said, taking a step back from her as the song faded out and switched to something more upbeat, something louder. Suddenly, it was very difficult for them to talk.

But that was fine with Reilly. Her chest felt tight from his confession and she felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. There was a part of her that wanted to yell at him, or slap his face, anything to make him feel the slightest bit similar to how she was feeling. But the rational part of her said that she had to accept it.

He gently grabbed her arm and led her out of the room the party was in and into another, smaller room, and shut the door behind them. "It was the other night," he said again. "I went to the pub after I walked you home. This girl I know was there, and I haven't seen her in awhile. Just, both been busy. You know how it goes. Anyway, we had some pints, and it just happened," he told her.

Tears stung her eyes, and she did everything she could to hold them back. Her chest ached from the tightness. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked, trying to keep her voice even.

"It was a sort of public thing," he said. "I just didn't want you to be surprised if you saw something about it online. I thought you should hear it from me."

Reilly shook her head and stared at him. The tears begged to break free as anger brewed inside, bubbling to the surface before she had a chance to stop it, and every rational thought in her brain was gone. "How can you tell me that you're supposed to make me feel good in one breath, and in the next tell me about how you're kissing girls? How is that supposed to make me feel good?" she yelled.

Niall's eyes widened at her reaction, but before he had a chance to say anything, the door flew open, and Harry poked his head inside. "Reilly, you need to get out here now. Your sister's fallen over," he said. Reilly closed her eyes for a moment and tried to compose herself. She wasn't done yelling at Niall, but she knew she had to go take care of Fallon.

She followed Harry back into the main room. A small crowd had gathered and they pushed their way through. Sure enough, Fallon was passed out on the floor. With a heavy sigh, Reilly bent down and grabbed her sister by the arm and pulled her into a sitting position. She put her Fallon's arm around her neck and wrapped an arm around her waist and lifted her up. The older girl groaned and leaned against Reilly nearly causing both of them to fall over.

Harry quickly caught the both of them though, helping Reilly steady her sister by sliding his arm around her waist also. She shot him a look of gratitude, and let out another sigh. "I have to get her back to my apartment," she said.

Harry nodded. "I've got her. You go get your coats. I'll meet you at the car," he said.

From then until when Harry dropped Fallon onto Reilly's bed was a blur. He left the room almost immediately, saying he was going to go make some tea, allowing Reilly to get her sister out of her party dress and into pajamas.

As she was situating her sister on her side so she wouldn't choke on her vomit in her sleep, the older girl stirred. Her eyes barely opened into slits, but Reilly could feel her stare. "I needed Mom, too, you know," Fallon slurred.

"I know," Reilly replied quietly.

Fallon sniffled and a single tear escaped her eye. "That's why I told Dad about you and Zachary," she said.

Reilly looked carefully at her sister at the mention of their step brother. "What are you talking about? What did you tell Dad?" she asked curiously, though she mostly assumed her sister was rambling about nothing.

"That you were sleeping together," came the mumbled response.

For the second time that night, Reilly's blood boiled. Her sister had said and done a lot of things over the years, but this was probably the worst. "Zachary and I weren't sleeping together. He was just the only person in that house who cared about me," she said firmly, but kept her voice down so Harry wouldn't hear.

"You didn't deserve to have anyone care about you after what you did. You still don't. The way all those stupid boys looked at you all night like you light up the world, especially that blond kid," she said. "You took Mom from me. I needed her." Moisture filled Reilly's eyes as she listened to her sister. "You ruined everything."

A tear slid down Reilly's cheek. "I know," she said, turning away from the older girl and walking toward the bedroom door. Harry was just down the hallway sitting at the table, waiting for her, with two cups of tea. She wiped away the tear and let out a slow breath. "Trust me, I know."