Lost in London

"You know what I think is really interesting?" Lexie said. She wasn't looking at Reilly, but instead was focused on something else on her computer screen. Reilly hummed in response and the blonde continued. "You say that you and Niall aren't together, but he says nothing to dispel the rumors, and you two are photographed all over London looking very couple-y. I think that's really interesting," she said.

Reilly rolled her eyes. "I think it's really interesting that you are able to go to the source for answers, yet you still actively seek out gossip on the internet and passive-aggressively comment on it while talking to me on Skype," Reilly replied, being rather passive-aggressive herself.

"Ooh," Lexie said, finally looking at her. "I like when sassy Reilly comes out to play. Tell me what the deal is with you and the leprechaun. Because these pictures online make it look like you two had quite the makeout sesh at the airport before he left," she said. "And, by the way, I heard your eyes rolling all the way across the Atlantic Ocean."

The day after Niall left, Reilly had gone back to her apartment to pick up a few things. Her laptop, phone charger, some toiletries, and the letter from her mother were among those things. She had made sure to go at a time when she knew none of her families members would be there, so she wouldn't have to see them.

A heavy sigh escaped her. "Seriously, Lex, why do you read all that trash? Niall and I still haven't kissed. We might have come close at the airport but I hesitated long enough that he got the message, though I'm not really sure what that message was, to be completely honest with you," she said.

"What I still can't wrap my head around is that you have slept with him on three occasions now and never kissed him. Like, you don't find that weird?"

Reilly shook her head. There was nothing weird about any of the times she'd slept with Niall. But she didn't know how to explain to her friend that it felt completely natural. It wouldn't make sense if she said it out loud because she wasn't with Niall, and even though she'd told Niall that she didn't know, she had no plans of being with him.

"I've never set out to have sex with Niall. Even when we're hanging out, I don't look at him and think, yeah, let's get in bed and get down. Honestly. It never crosses my mind. It always just," she paused, "happens. And it's like nothing I've ever experienced before."

Lexie raised her eyebrows and she remained quiet for a moment. Suddenly a look of concern shadowed her face. "You're being safe, right, Rei?" she asked.

"Seriously?" she asked, giving her friend a pointed look. Lexie returned the look and waited for Reilly to answer. "Yes. Of course I'm being safe. I'm not stupid. I mean, Jesus, Lex, I've been on the pill since I was fifteen thanks to the lie my sister told my father. Which, you know, it suddenly makes sense why my stepmother was so adamant about getting it for me, now that I know Fallon told him that."

The blonde nodded in understanding. "I just had to ask, you know? I'm a little worried about you lately. You're," she paused, choosing her words carefully, "different." Reilly's face twisted in confusion, so she quickly continued. "It's just, what you're doing with Niall, it's not like you. I'm just trying to make sure you're okay," she explained.

"Lex," she said with a soft sigh. "I'm fine. Niall's a good friend. I know this isn't like me. I'm trying to figure out how to make it right. But maybe I can't. Maybe it's gone too far for me to ever be able to make it right."

"Do you love him?" Lexie inquired.

Reilly was quiet for a long time. It was probably the one question no one had asked her yet in regards to the situation. The one she hoped no one would. She stared at Lexie at first, and then looked down and stared at the floor in Harry's living room. Lexie didn't say anything either, patiently waiting for her friend to answer.

Finally, she gave a slight shrug. "I don't know, Lexie," she said. "Don't ask me that."

"Yes, you do know, Reilly. Do you love Niall? It's a simple question," she persisted.

Frustration quickly grew inside of Reilly. "But it's not a simple answer, Lex," she exploded. "It's not something I can just say yes or no to and be done with it. There's more-"

In the middle of her rant the front door opened and a low voice called out. "Reilly?" he said. "Reilly, are you here?" he asked. Reilly spun around to see him walk into the living room. "I love what you've done with the place."

She jumped up and practically ran in his direction, and launched herself into his outstretched arms. He kissed her cheek and hugged her tightly for a long moment before bending to put her down. "You're not supposed to be back until tomorrow, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"Well, actually," Harry said, "I told everyone I was going to be back tomorrow, but I really planned on being here today. I like to come back a day early to get a little time to reacclimate. I guess I probably should have told you, since you're staying here. Sorry," he said.

Reilly grinned at him. "No, don't be ridiculous. You live here, not me. You don't have apologize for not telling me every detail of your holiday plans," she said. "I'm really happy you're back though."

"I'm happy I'm back too, Love," he said, giving her a look that could only be described as adoration. Over her shoulder, he saw Lexie on Reilly's computer screen. "Oh. Hello, Lexie," he said, giving a wave, unsure if he was even in view of the camera. She waved back lazily at him, and he said to Reilly, "I didn't realize you were in the middle of something. I'll go unpack my things so you can finish up." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head and then disappeared down the hallway.

Reilly returned to the sofa to find Lexie giving her a look she couldn't read. "What?" she asked, her eyebrows pulling together in confusion.

"Is that why the answer to if you love Niall isn't simple?" she questioned. There was a hint of venom in her tone that only confused Reilly further.

"What?" she asked. The lines in her forehead deepened as her eyebrows pulled closer together.

Lexie rolled her eyes. "Oh, come off it, Reilly. I could see and hear everything that just happened. Can you not answer me about Niall because you have feelings for Harry?" she spat.

"What?" Reilly asked again. "Lexie, are you insane? I love Harry, but only as a friend," she said.

"You and Niall are 'just friends', also," the blonde shot back.

Reilly closed her eyes for a moment and took a slow breath in. It was hard to believe the low blow her friend had delivered. She let the breath out, equally as slowly, and opened her eyes again. "Wow, Lexie. Jealous much? I can guarantee, one hundred percent, that Harry and I have never, and will never cross the friendship line. Whatever you think you saw, you didn't, okay? For one, I would never do that to you. And two, I absolutely don't have those kinds of feelings for him. We just kind of get each other. I'm not going to apologize for that, even if it bothers you," she snapped.

Lexie stayed quiet for a long time. "Alright," she said finally with a sigh. "You're right. You shouldn't apologize for your friendship with Harry. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry, Rei," she said, looking down.

They talked for a little while longer, and then said their goodbyes, with Lexie letting Reilly know she would have to miss their regular Sunday call. Though she liked having a regular schedule, it worked out for her as well. Sunday was the day she and the boys had planned to have their gift exchange, though she wasn't sure if it was still happening, since they all had sent her gifts when they found out she was going to be alone at Harry's for Christmas.

After hanging up, she sat looking around Harry's living room. Her family would be leaving sometime that evening, and she would go back to her apartment the following day. There was a part of her that was happy to get back in her own space, and another part of her that had grown very accustomed to Harry's place in the week she'd been there.

She didn't want to over analyze anything, so she pushed the thoughts from her mind and made her way down the hall to Harry's room. The door was closed but not latched. She gave a little knock as she pushed open the door, revealing Harry sitting on the floor with the contents of his suitcase scattered all around him.

"You call this unpacking?" she joked, leaning against the door frame.

Harry looked up at her with a childlike grin stretched across his face. "Well, it's not in the suitcase anymore. That's the first step, isn't it?" he said. Reilly gigged and nodded at him. "You alright?" he asked her, his expression turning serious.

She nodded and gave a tiny smile that was too quickly replaced with a look of seriousness. "I'm sorry if Lexie goes off on you the next time you talk to her. She thought, well, I don't really know what she thought, but she asked in a not so pleasant way if there was something more than friendship between us. I told her there never has been, never will be, but I don't know. She thinks she saw something, I guess, when you came in." Reilly shrugged. "I don't know."

Harry waved his hand through the air, dismissing her concerns without bothering to take them to heart. "Don't worry. If she has a problem, I'll handle it," he told her. She nodded slowly, and he stared at her for a long moment. Long enough to make her the slip into the habit of feeling uncomfortable under his gaze. "I have to ask," he said finally. "You called Liam, and you called Louis that night you were apparently really upset. Why didn't you call me?" he asked.

A soft sigh escaped her and she walked into the room. She sat down on the floor across from the curly haired boy and pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. "There were a couple reasons, actually," she told him. "First, because I knew you were already gone. I couldn't remember when Liam and Louis were leaving, and I was trying to find someone to go to. I didn't want to be alone. And second, because I knew if I called you, you would come straight back here, even if I told you not to." His lips twitched into a tiny smile, indicating she was correct in what she was saying. "I couldn't take you away from your family," she concluded.

Harry nodded in understanding, but his eyebrows pulled together like he was confused. "But, I just would have come back to get you, and then taken you back to Holmes Chapel with me, so you didn't have to spend the holiday alone," he said.

She shrugged at him, and rested her chin on her knees. "You did more than enough for me by leaving a key on my counter so I could come here if I needed to. It was like you knew something was going to happen," she said.

He shook his head. "I didn't know, but I had a feeling. What happened, anyway?" he asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," she told him.

"Okay," he replied, and pushed himself up off the floor. "Let's go make food. I'm hungry," he said, holding a hand out to her.

That was one of the things she loved about Harry, the ease with which he accepted that there were times she didn't want to discuss certain things, and didn't let it bother him. She reached out and grabbed onto his hand, and he pulled her up, and then into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around his middle and squeezed him before letting go. One the way to the kitchen, she stopped into the guest room where her things were and grabbed the letter from her mother. Maybe she didn't really want to talk about it, but she was going to anyway.