Lost in London

It was impossible to hide the deep blush on her cheeks as Reilly walked back to the side of the stage to rejoin her friends. She was met by two excited looking boys, who quickly hugged her and told her how great she was.

"I had no idea you could dance like that," Louis said, giving her a squeeze. "You looked like you were having a fantastic time," he commented.

"I was," she agreed, looking around. "Where's Niall?" she asked.

"He went for a wee. He'll be back," Harry said.

Reilly caught the look between Louis and Harry, and it was obvious there was something they weren't telling her, but she didn't say anything. The heat in her cheeks had started to fade away, for which she was thankful, but the shock of being kissed by a complete stranger in a very public manner was still there.

Olly had gone through several songs before Niall returned. Something about him seemed off. He stood, arms crossed in front of his chest, to Reilly's left almost an entire arm's length away. He looked straight ahead, appearing to be intently watching his friend's performance. But it was like he wasn't really watching at all.

After three songs of standoffish behavior, Reilly took a step toward him, Louis' arm falling from her shoulders as she did so. She got the feeling that Niall wanted to step away from her, but didn't. Slowly, she inched closer to him until their arms were almost touching. Niall let out a quiet sigh and dropped his arms to his sides.

His body language gave off the impression of being open to conversation, but the air between them was thick with tension. Reilly quickly decided to try her luck anyway.

"Are you okay?" she asked, not knowing what else to say.

"Fine," he said abruptly.

"What's wrong?" she asked quietly, so quietly she wasn't sure he would hear over the loud music and thumping bassline.

"Said I'm fine," he said, crossing his arms once again.

He didn't look at her and gave off a vibe of not wanting to talk to her. She didn't understand why but since he'd just snapped at her, she didn't bother trying to ask. It didn't seem worth getting yelled at. Instead she just took a small step away from him. He relaxed noticeably, keeping his arms crossed and his eyes on the stage.

Feeling defeated, she went back to Louis' side and linked her arm through his. Her mind wandered back to the previous night when Niall had comforted her, and then further back to when she was still in high school, when Zachary left. A familiar sinking feeling settled in her stomach and a soft, sad sigh escaped her. Both boys she was standing with must have noticed because Harry's long arm reached around Louis and gave her back a reassuring rub, and Louis placed a kiss on the side of her head.

By the end of the set, all Reilly wanted to do was dance away the way she felt. She was thrilled when Olly approached her and asked if she would go back out and dance during his encore. Pulling her hair back into a ponytail, she followed him back onto the stage. Thousands of people stood in front of her, screaming excitedly for one more song. The music started and Reilly lost herself in it.

But it was over as quickly as it started. She walked off the stage with Olly and immediately noticed Niall was missing once again. Her stomach sunk again and the high she felt from dancing in front of so many people quickly dissipated, leaving her wondering, once again, why he suddenly wanted nothing to do with her.

"Where's Niall run off to?" Olly questioned when he noticed the blond haired boy was nowhere to be seen.

Harry and Louis exchanged a look similar to the one they'd shared when Reilly had made the same inquiry earlier. "He's left," Harry said.

"What? No. Ring him and tell him to get back here," Olly said, but neither boy made a move to do so. "Alright, I will," he said.

"I don't think that's the best idea," Louis said. "He's not feeling well at the moment."

It was obvious the boys were making excuses for Niall, and Reilly didn't bother to stick around to hear what else they would tell Olly. Instead, she wandered down the corridor until she was alone. She slid down the wall to the floor and pulled her knees to her chest. Was he mad that she had gone on stage with Olly and danced? It didn't make sense that he would be upset that Olly kissed her. After all, he had told her that he didn't have a crush on her even though Louis had joked that he did. Nothing made sense, and she hated that he was once again not speaking to her.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket in hopes that maybe he had sent her a text with an explanation, any reason for his behavior. A message showed on the screen. Her stomach flipped, and then dropped when she opened it. Liam had sent her a picture of himself making a stupid face. She giggled in spite of herself. She hadn't known the boys for very long, but one thing she learned she could always count on was Liam, Louis, or Harry making her laugh.

"Reilly?" a voice broke through her thoughts. She looked up and saw Olly standing over her. "Listen, I'm terribly sorry if I've caused any problems between you and Niall. I didn't know. And I know I didn't ask, but I got caught up in the moment and the song. It was stupid. And I'll ring Niall to tell him the same thing," he said.

Reilly looked at him quizzically, sliding her phone into her pocket as she stood. "Niall and I are just friends. Barely, at that. I just met the boys last weekend," she explained.

"Oh," Olly said, his face brightening. "Well, the lads said," he paused. "Nevermind. It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have kissed you. It was impulsive, and you're very beautiful, but I'm probably much too old for you." Reilly raised an eyebrow questioningly at him. "I'm twenty eight," he said.

"No. You're kidding?" she said and he shook his head. "I never would have guessed."

"You are very sweet, Love" he said. "Listen. I want to ask you something. And you don't have to answer now. But I was wondering if you'd like to come work with me, as a dancer. I don't actually have any dancers yet, but it's something I've been thinking about."

Excitement washed over her for a fleeting moment. While she would love nothing more than to be able to dance every night, she knew she couldn't accept the offer.

"I'm really flattered, and I would love to," she began. "But I can't. I'm here for school and it takes up probably about eighty five percent of my waking life. I was barely able to make time to come here tonight," she said. "I'm so sorry, Olly. I had a wonderful time dancing with you tonight, though."

Olly's expression had fallen, but he nodded in understanding and insisted that she have his phone number in case she changed her mind at any time. In turn, she gave her phone number to him and informed him that with enough advance notice for shows in the area she would be more than happy to dance with him again. They chatted for a little while longer before saying goodbye with a hug.

"Did Olly find you?" Louis asked when she found the boys again. Reilly nodded. "Great. He wanted us to stay for awhile, but we told him you probably wanted to get going. That's alright?" he asked.

"Fine," she replied and followed the boys toward the exit.

Reilly was quiet on the drive home. She watched the buildings pass by while Louis and Harry talked about anything and everything. Every so often one of them would ask if she was okay, to which she would give a positive reply, though all she wanted to do was understand what she'd done wrong.

It wasn't an uncommon thought in her head. She had wondered for years, even before her mother died, why her father never really seemed to want her, why her sister never seemed to care about her. She had no memory of doing something so awful to make them feel that way. And her mother had loved her enough for all of them, that at some times it didn't really seem to matter. But it got so much worse when she died. Questioning what she'd done went from a couple times a month to a couple times a week, and then to daily, and then to multiple times a day until she was almost constantly one the verge of a breakdown.

It was about that time she started taking extra classes at school, and at the local community college so she didn't have to be home as often. She volunteered to help coach a youth soccer team, and found more dance lessons. Anything that kept her out of the house. And no one ever questioned where she was, because no one ever cared enough to worry about her, or even notice she wasn't around.

At some point on the drive the boys had managed to convince her to stay with Louis for the night. Even though she wouldn't talk about it, they could tell something was eating away at her, and declared that she shouldn't be alone. She tried to put up a fight, but they wore her down easily. It seemed to make sense once she considered that she had lunch plans with Liam and Zayn the next day.

"Hungry, Love?" Louis asked, looking at her in the rearview mirror. Reilly just shook her head, opting not to give a verbal response.

She rested her head against the car window and let out a sigh. Harry turned to look back at her while Louis glanced into the rearview mirror again. Neither said anything, but exchanged a look of concern. Harry raised his eyebrows at Louis, who responded with a nod, a wordless agreement that he would talk to her.

The boys went back to talking to each other, while Reilly continued to watch as the buildings passed them by. Lights speckled the dark city around her, but she didn't notice. She was too lost in her jumbled thoughts, lost in her feelings she didn't understand, lost in the image of Niall being angry with her at the concert. She felt alone, lost in a city where she had only just barely begun to know anyone.