Come Home Soon

I haven’t seen you in years. You went to war right after our first ‘I love you’ exchange. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I wonder if you do. I wonder if you’re even still alive. War is brutal- I know that much. But do you remember that day?

--
“Jack!” I gasped, laughing as you took my picture. “Stop! I look bad today!”

You just giggled adorable and pulled my hands away from my face, grinning and saying, “It’s absolutely impossible for you to bad, Alex,” and with that, our lips were attached sweetly.

I heard the click of the camera and broke apart, seeing your arm outstretched and the camera lens facing us. I laughed and took it from you, looking at the picture. It was something you’d see on tumblr- Cute tumblr boys sharing the perfect kiss. I grinned and turned the camera around, snapping a picture of you.

“Douche,” you laughed, wrapping your arms around my waist. “I’m going to miss you.”

I sighed. “I’ll miss you, too. Do you promise to stay safe? For me? I don’t want to be waiting for you to get off a return plane and not see you because you got shot and died.”

You smiled. “I swear I’ll be safe, baby. You know why?”

“Why?”

You rested our foreheads together, grinning and looking in my eyes. “Because I’m hopelessly and utterly in love with every little piece of you, and I won’t let anything get in the way of such strong love.”

Butterflies filled my stomach and I blush, but I said, “I’m in love with you, too. And I believe that you won’t let anything break us.”

--
I look at photos of us, specifically the one of us kissing that day, all the time. It’s my way of remembering that the man I love is still there. Did you get my letters? And the photos of us that I sent you? Do you still love me or have you forgotten me? I don’t want you to forget me. You mean so much to me. I’ve loved you for six years and I can only hope that you still love me.

I smile as I remember all our memories, like how you were so scared to ask me out in our sophomore year. It’s still as clear as when you told me you loved me.

--
You approached me, wringing your hands and looking really nervous. I grinned up at you- I was sitting, you were standing- and said, “Hey Jack, you okay?”

I thought you looked adorable when you were nervous, but I wondered what it was about. You nodded vigorously, biting your lip and looking everywhere but me. “I-Um, y-yeah,” you stammered.

I laughed a little. “Are you sure? You look nervous. What is it?”

You took a deep breath and asked hurriedly, “Doyouwanttogotothebeachwithmetomorrow?”

“Sorry, what?”

“Do you want to go to the beach with me tomorrow?” You asked, your words still slightly rushed.

I smiled. “Jack Barakat, are you asking me on a date?”

You blushed and said quickly, “O-Only if you want to, like we don’t have to, that what I was going for but if you don’t want to then fuck this is embarrassing and I’m just going to leave.” You started to walk away and I jumped up, chasing after you and grabbing your hand, pulling you back around.

“Jack! You didn’t hear my answer. Yes, I’d love to go on a date with you,” I laughed, and you looked so relieved.

“Y-You do?”

I nodded. “Yes! I really like you. I’ve been waiting for you to ask me out for forever.”

You grinned, looking cuter than ever. “I’ll text you and we can figure out details.”

“Sounds good.”

--
That night was one of the best of my life. Maybe it was the way you set off butterflies in my stomach every time you said anything and I just about died when you slid your hand in mine, but either way, it was amazing. I remember the way you walked me up to my porch and we stood there awkwardly for a minute before you asked hesitantly if you could kiss me and I just laughed and told you that I didn’t kiss on the first day. You had been so disappointed, but respected it and started to say goodnight, but I shut you up by kissing you and when I pulled away, you said you thought I didn’t kiss on the first date. I told you I only broke my rule for the people who are really special to me and so far, it had only been you.

I wish you were here with me now. I miss going on dates with you and kissing you and having sex with you. I really just miss you. I miss having you sneak in my window at night when you’re supposed to be asleep but missed me too much. I always thought it was the sweetest thing ever.

That first time we had sex is one of my favorite memories. Another thing I hope you won’t ever forget because I know I never will.

“Are you sure?” You had asked, hovering above me with our lips ghosting each other’s. I was nervous, absolutely, but I was also a virgin. You weren’t. You knew what you were doing.

However, I knew I wanted you more than anything. I loved you and it was the night we had told each other so. I wanted to prove how much I loved you, so I nodded and said, “I love you and I trust you. I know you’ll be gentle.”

My words had proved to be true. The initial pain had been horrible and I had cried, but you had made everything better. With that one certain push in, all the pain had melted to pleasure and with every thrust, my back had arched off the blanket on the bed and you had found a way to somehow make every push in better than the last.

I’d never felt better than I did that night and I know it was because it was you on top of me and taking my virginity, not someone I didn’t love.

But do you remember the day you left? That was the worst day of my life. I hated knowing that you were getting put in danger every second of the day and you would be across the world from me where the time change was so different that we wouldn’t be able to communicate other than writing.

--
You hugged me over and over. We were both crying and repeating ‘I love you so much’ between kisses. The night before we had had sex for the last time before you left and it was the second best experience of my life (my first time being the best) and my heart was getting broken.

You kissed me hard and I could feel the desperation in it. I kissed back the exact same way. You cried harder and that set me off, too.

The final whistle for boarding is blown and you kissed me once more before trying to wipe your eyes free of tears and you hugged me for the last time. “I love you so much, Lex,” you had told me. “And I swear I’ll come back, baby boy. Don’t forget me.”

I smiled sadly and nodded. “I love you, too. Stay safe, Jack.”

You nodded and kissed my forehead before turning slowly and getting on the plane. I watched as you fly away, tears streaming down both our cheeks. You watched me out of your window, one hand placed on the glass. I could see you blow me a kiss and I blew one back, waving goodbye.

--

And then here comes today. Soldiers are supposed to come home today- The war is over. But are you alive? They lost their letters to families if someone dies when the opposite side blew up your camp. I haven’t heard from you since. I’m terrified that I won’t see your familiar eyes when you step off the plane.

I see the plane you should be on land and soldiers start getting off, finding their families and hugging them, I love you’s being exchanged. A few minutes pass and I don’t see anyone who looks remotely like you. My eyes fill with tears and a sob rips its way from my throat.

“No,” I murmur to myself, “No, you said you wouldn’t let anything get in the way of such strong love. Don’t you dare lie to me Jack, please, please get off the plane,” I beg to no one.

More soldiers come from the plane, none of then you. Tears are streaming down my cheeks and I’m sobbing, ready to kill myself to be with you when I finally see jet black, messy hair atop a tall, lanky man dressed in camo. The man has dark brown eyes that I could lose myself in and I scream, sprinting towards you. You drop your bags and catch me as I jump on you, crying tears of joy now as I murmur, “You’re alive, you’re alive, oh god I missed you, I love you so much, Jack, oh my god, you’re alive and I missed you so much, baby,” I ramble through my tears into your shoulder as you hug me, saying similar things to me.

You set your hands on my hips and gently push me away. I’m still crying hard and you smile at me, a worn out, tired smile that I love all the same. “Alex…”

“What?”

You get down on one knee and I gasp, tears coming faster as you dig around in your pocket. You pull out a ring- Where you got it, I don’t know. “Alexander William Gaskarth, I’ve been carrying this ring around since the morning after I told you I loved you all those years ago. We were too young to get married then, but I knew I was going to war and I knew I wouldn’t be able to find a ring on the battlefield. So baby, I’ve missed you more than anything in this world and I love you with all my heart. Will you marry me?”

I nod and you grin excitedly, standing up and hugging me again. I push you away and kiss you gently, savoring the taste of your chapped lips that I’ve missed so much over the past six years. I know what we’ll be doing tonight and I know you know it, too.

But with you back home and both of us happier than ever, nothing matter except for you and I and the love that we share.