Pocrescophobia

Friend. The word runs through my head repeatedly as I conclude that I should really start to reevaluate my choice in friends. At least some of them. Because honestly, they're not real friends at all. Here, let me elaborate.

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My alarm goes off, but I've already been awake for an hour, not able to get back to sleep because of the nightmares that've been flooding my sleep for the past 7 years. Great, another day of putting up with stupid bullshit. But as my mom walks into my room, I decide to ask her something.

"Hey, Mom?" I ask, yawning from the lack of sleep. "Yes, baby?" she responds.

"Can I stay home today?" I plead, batting my eyelashes at her innocently. She sighs, but I know that she'll give in. "Why do you wanna stay home?" she asks, but I just shrug. "Mental health day."

With another defeated sigh, she just nods and runs her hands through my bedhead. "Sure, but only this time, okay? You can't skip school all the time. I need to leave, but call me if you need anything, okay?" she says and I nod in agreement. She leans down to give me a kiss on my forehead.

"Just make sure to get some sleep and call me if you need anything. Love you." I lie back down on my bed thankfully and sigh. "Love you, too, Mom," I answer truthfully as she walks out of my room.

The next long 30 minutes sees me trying not to think about Arden and then stressing about that. Why can't I stop thinking about him? I mean, it must just be the guilt, right? Yeah, it's totally just the guilt. Oh god I can't even think about what I'll do whenever I see him in school. I still need to apolog--

No no no no, stop. Time to think about other things. Hmm... let's watch this mindless television show to get my mind off the boy. And if push comes to shove, I can Facebook stalk my enemies and laugh at their stupidity, which is one of the most common sources of my entertainment. It's also my favorite source of entertainment. But once school had started, texts start to fill up my inbox, causing my face to fall in a frown. Ugh, I hate people constantly, obsessively texting me. Like, my life doesn't revolve around you, and yours shouldn't revolve on me. Have some goddamn independence instead of sending me constant texts freaking out about where I am. And none of the people sending the texts are my real friends. Because my real friends have some character. It doesn't matter. I never answer the texts anyway.

As the hours pass, I feel myself growing progressively bored, but it's better than being stuck in a room with only faceless idiots. Lunchtime rolls around and as I fix myself a Ramen noodle and sit on the couch, I hear a knock on the door. Ugh, why? I reluctantly stand up and head over to the door, dreading opening it. And I was right. On the other side of the door are a few of my 'friends' and a few guilty looking actual friends. Because they actually know that I don't want anyone around me if I'm home from school.

"Cyan! We all missed you, so we thought we'd visit. School's boring anyway. So can we come in?" one of the idiots asks. I sigh, shrugging and turning around while I leave the door open in an empty invitation. They all eagerly pile into my house, looking around excitedly, treasuring every minute that they're in my presence. I mean, I know I'm that amazing, but honestly. They need to calm their bits.

This was a horrible idea. The next two hours are filled with mindless chatter as they all start to get comfortable, and I start to get uncomfortable. Thankfully, my three friends here help out a little, toning down the conversation and distracting them successfully. Presently, I'm laying my head in Lauren's lap sleepily as the others blather on about something stupid. And I start to tune in at the part I least wanted to hear.

"So yeah, that stupid faggot wasn't there again. Maybe he finally went and killed himself," one of them said. And needless to say, that angered the fuck out of me.

"Excuse you?" I say, my body shooting up from lying on Lauren. He looks a bit scared, but holds his ground.

"What? It's not like anyone would care. He's worthless anyone. Everyone only likes him because of his brother." By this point, I'm nearly shaking. I can't believe someone would say something like that. Even I had my limits.

"That is not something you fucking joke about, Michael. That's an actual person with a life, not just another face you hate. You don't joke about someone killing themselves. Get the fuck out of my house," I seethe. The faces stare blankly at me until I snap, sending them out of the door.

"I said get out!" And soon, they all pile out, save for the three good people. But they seem to realise that I want to be alone and leave, apologising again. I wouldn't have even minded if it was them, but honestly. I really have to start making changes around here. Especially in my choice of friends.