Sequel: Achluophobia ›
Status: Done
Pocrescophobia
I'll put my life back together in silence
Instead of making me start school the day after I got here, my lovely aunt and uncle let me have a few days and the weekend to get adjusted to the new state. Thankfully. I would rather eat my own intestines than start school the day after I got here. Hell, I barely wanna start school whatsoever. But at least there, no one knows anything about me, and I can just slide by for the next two months while I put my life back together. Although, I can just feel that over the next few days until school starts, they'll be trying to make me eat.
Well, I can always do what I do; stay up really late, then sleep late enough to miss breakfast and lunch and try to slide by until I'm really forced to eat. That's what I always did at home. When I wake up though, both are gone to work, though there is a note telling me to have a good day, make sure to eat, blah blah, sure. Time to get on Netflix and watch random things repeatedly. Yes, most teenagers actually do things on Fridays, but even when I was back at home with all of my friends, I'd always make excuses during the weekends. I hate hanging out with people mostly. I have a lot of social anxiety, which makes having as many friends as I do really difficult. So, staying in has always been my division.
Oh, and speaking of my social anxiety. I'm already starting to feel the immense paranoia and anxiety about starting school that I usually get a few days prior to the first day of school. Great. Just great. Oh, Arden, this is why we can't have nice things..
=
The next few days pass slowly, with a few arguments started by me trying to slip by without eating. But in the end, they forced me and I just felt horrible for the next few hours, thinking of all the calories and fat entering my body. It happens every time I eat, honestly. I feel absolutely horrible. Sometimes I even end up having panic attacks. But Mom and Dad never noticed, so I'd just suffer through them alone. Hell, even Cheyenne never noticed. I never let her notice.
=
Today is the dreaded day. The day that I start my new school. Oh no no no no no, I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can face anyone, even anyone I don't know. No, come on Arden. No one knows anything about you. Come on. No. Oh god, this was such a mistake. What am I gonna do? What if I get lost? What if I can't find any of my classes? What if I have to ask people? What if I have to stand in front of the class and tell them something about me? What if I pass out? What if people find out about me and shun me? What if--
No. Don't think about it. Let's think about something else. Think funny things, think Tumblr things. Think stupid things. Too punk rock for you. Cats. Text posts. Funny gifs. Stupid things. Come on, come on, work your magic so I don't pass out once I walk into the school.
Thankfully, when I walk into school, my aunt and uncle at my side, I don't pass out. I do, however, stare at the ground while some people look at me and immediately begin to whisper. Oh god no I can't do this, no. They're already judging me. 'Oh, look at that new boy, he's so fat and ugly, gross.' I can't do this. Before I can run out of the school, though, I'm gently pulled forward by Aunt Dana into the office as they talk to the receptionist and get my schedule. Once they hand me my schedule and tell me that they're sending someone to show me around, Dana and Charles leave after wishing me good luck and telling me to just call if I need them to pick me up. Such lovely people, really.
A few minutes pass as I try to ignore the receptionist's gaze as much as possible. I'm saved quickly by a cheery looking brunette girl walking in, smiling at me with a friendly expression. Okay, hopefully this won't be too bad and she's not a total bitch. She strides up to me, sticking her hand out towards me. Oh, I love it when people shake my hand honestly. It's better than people hugging me, and not many people do ask to shake hands.
"Hi, I'm Tamryn. And you are?" she says in a confident voice. I shake her hand tentatively. "Arden." She grins widely.
"That's a cool name. Nice to meet you." I nod at her slightly, letting go of her hand and shoving mine back in my hoodie. "Likewise." She turns to the receptionist quickly and waves before leading me out of the office into hell. "Okay, where's your schedule?" she asks once we're out. I quickly hand her my schedule being held tightly in my hand, already having been folded and unfolded at least a dozen times.
Tamryn smiles brightly at me once reading it and starts to walk in some direction. "Okay, we have almost all classes together, but ones we don't, I know my friends have, and don't worry, my friends aren't horrible people. They'll probably like you unless, you know, you're a horrible asshole, and then they probably won't like you. But anyway," she rambles, speaking all together before taking a deep breath and starting again. "I can show you to most of your classes, but you can just learn where things are by following me to classes." I nod slowly, barely remembering anything she said other than that we have classes together.
"You're not much of a talker, are you?" she asks, giggling. I just shrug my shoulders, giving her a small smile. She smiles again, to which I give her my own. Her smiles are almost contagious. I think I could get used to this girl. "I like you, Arden. You know, you're welcome to eat with me and my friends during lunch. Unless you wanna eat by yourself, then that's cool."
"Nah, that'd be cool," I say, not wanting to eat by myself and suffer the stares of everyone by myself. Tamryn smiles at me again. "Cool."
Now off to my first class: English.
Well, I can always do what I do; stay up really late, then sleep late enough to miss breakfast and lunch and try to slide by until I'm really forced to eat. That's what I always did at home. When I wake up though, both are gone to work, though there is a note telling me to have a good day, make sure to eat, blah blah, sure. Time to get on Netflix and watch random things repeatedly. Yes, most teenagers actually do things on Fridays, but even when I was back at home with all of my friends, I'd always make excuses during the weekends. I hate hanging out with people mostly. I have a lot of social anxiety, which makes having as many friends as I do really difficult. So, staying in has always been my division.
Oh, and speaking of my social anxiety. I'm already starting to feel the immense paranoia and anxiety about starting school that I usually get a few days prior to the first day of school. Great. Just great. Oh, Arden, this is why we can't have nice things..
=
The next few days pass slowly, with a few arguments started by me trying to slip by without eating. But in the end, they forced me and I just felt horrible for the next few hours, thinking of all the calories and fat entering my body. It happens every time I eat, honestly. I feel absolutely horrible. Sometimes I even end up having panic attacks. But Mom and Dad never noticed, so I'd just suffer through them alone. Hell, even Cheyenne never noticed. I never let her notice.
=
Today is the dreaded day. The day that I start my new school. Oh no no no no no, I don't think I can do this. I don't think I can face anyone, even anyone I don't know. No, come on Arden. No one knows anything about you. Come on. No. Oh god, this was such a mistake. What am I gonna do? What if I get lost? What if I can't find any of my classes? What if I have to ask people? What if I have to stand in front of the class and tell them something about me? What if I pass out? What if people find out about me and shun me? What if--
No. Don't think about it. Let's think about something else. Think funny things, think Tumblr things. Think stupid things. Too punk rock for you. Cats. Text posts. Funny gifs. Stupid things. Come on, come on, work your magic so I don't pass out once I walk into the school.
Thankfully, when I walk into school, my aunt and uncle at my side, I don't pass out. I do, however, stare at the ground while some people look at me and immediately begin to whisper. Oh god no I can't do this, no. They're already judging me. 'Oh, look at that new boy, he's so fat and ugly, gross.' I can't do this. Before I can run out of the school, though, I'm gently pulled forward by Aunt Dana into the office as they talk to the receptionist and get my schedule. Once they hand me my schedule and tell me that they're sending someone to show me around, Dana and Charles leave after wishing me good luck and telling me to just call if I need them to pick me up. Such lovely people, really.
A few minutes pass as I try to ignore the receptionist's gaze as much as possible. I'm saved quickly by a cheery looking brunette girl walking in, smiling at me with a friendly expression. Okay, hopefully this won't be too bad and she's not a total bitch. She strides up to me, sticking her hand out towards me. Oh, I love it when people shake my hand honestly. It's better than people hugging me, and not many people do ask to shake hands.
"Hi, I'm Tamryn. And you are?" she says in a confident voice. I shake her hand tentatively. "Arden." She grins widely.
"That's a cool name. Nice to meet you." I nod at her slightly, letting go of her hand and shoving mine back in my hoodie. "Likewise." She turns to the receptionist quickly and waves before leading me out of the office into hell. "Okay, where's your schedule?" she asks once we're out. I quickly hand her my schedule being held tightly in my hand, already having been folded and unfolded at least a dozen times.
Tamryn smiles brightly at me once reading it and starts to walk in some direction. "Okay, we have almost all classes together, but ones we don't, I know my friends have, and don't worry, my friends aren't horrible people. They'll probably like you unless, you know, you're a horrible asshole, and then they probably won't like you. But anyway," she rambles, speaking all together before taking a deep breath and starting again. "I can show you to most of your classes, but you can just learn where things are by following me to classes." I nod slowly, barely remembering anything she said other than that we have classes together.
"You're not much of a talker, are you?" she asks, giggling. I just shrug my shoulders, giving her a small smile. She smiles again, to which I give her my own. Her smiles are almost contagious. I think I could get used to this girl. "I like you, Arden. You know, you're welcome to eat with me and my friends during lunch. Unless you wanna eat by yourself, then that's cool."
"Nah, that'd be cool," I say, not wanting to eat by myself and suffer the stares of everyone by myself. Tamryn smiles at me again. "Cool."
Now off to my first class: English.
