Pocrescophobia

For these past couple of weeks, I've actually been experimenting. The experiments have been very helpful actually. For one, I found that girl, Brooklyn, and tried things out with her, but it just wasn't the same. We didn't even get to sex before I lost interest, but she understood and we're actually pretty good friends now. I also tried some stuff out with a couple of guy friends that I have that I know are gay. But again, nothing. So, I've come to the conclusion that I'm exclusively attracted to Arden.

Great.

But at least no one's told anyone about my... sexuality that I'm still not fully sure of. I mean, people here are usually pretty accepting of it, for Texas, I mean, but I'd still get some shit for it. And well, being humiliated or alienated is my greatest fear. And there's a lot that goes into that, but now my paranoia is starting to set it. At least it's not out of control yet. I don't want to have to start taking my meds again. Plus, I'm not sure if my mom can afford them right now.

Everything's just starting to go downhill. I really wish that Arden was here. I really, really do.