Sequel: Achluophobia ›
Status: Done
Pocrescophobia
I hope he breaks you down
Well, it's official. I have an attraction to Arden, mentally, physically, sexually. Yes, sexually. I woke up this morning and I had a little problem. Turns out that I had a little dream about him last night. I had to take a fucking cold shower. I fucking hate cold showers. Well, of course I would, seeing as I usually take showers that are hotter than Satan's piss. I don't see how people could stand under cold water for more than three seconds. Fucking cold showers. Just ruin my day.
Cold showers completely ruin my day, and I see a lot of ruined days in the future. And ruined underwear.
Well, a bunch of stuff's happened in the past couple of weeks. Minor things, mind you, but still things. I read some books, was forced to watch The Perks Of Being A Wallflower with my lady friends, brought my grades up a bit, made a few new friends, started watching some new shows, started listening to a bunch of new bands, stuff like that. Time's passed by so quickly though. It's been over a month since Arden left and I'm starting to question if he's ever coming back. Probably now. Good job, Cyan. Good fuckin' job.
I really need to find someone. Just to get my mind off of things. But I don't seem to be attracted to anyone anymore. Plus, I don't know if I should try to find a guy or girl and if I do find a guy, what if someone finds out and-- Okay, Cyan, fucking shut up right now. That's not very punk rock of you. Stop it. Just find someone nice, and try to be happy. That's your goal. Find someone. Try to be happy. Stop fucking freaking out again or it's back to the therapist's for you.
Hell, I could always ask out Brooklyn again or just start to look around again. Oh lord I have no idea what I'm going to do. Who I'm going to do. But I'm starting to get really lonely, and yeah, I have great friends, and that's wonderful, but it's just not the same. Plus, all of my friends have significant others and it just makes me feel awkward being there. And lonely.
God, I reeeeaaaaally need to get someone so I can stop lying around and whining about everything. It leads to nothing good. I think that I'm not psychologically capable of being alone. It just doesn't mesh with me. Not at all. Eh, fine. I guess I'm getting someone.
=
Day 6 and the search has been going horribly. No one catches my eye. I even tried to date Brooklyn for a while, but I just couldn't do it. You know what, fuck this. I'm just gonna get a job. Plus, we need the money. I can tell that Mom's start to get really worn down, physically and emotionally. Plus, it'll give me a chance to distract myself.
=
A few days later, I am officially a Kroger employee. Congratulations, Cyan, you're finally doing something right. Plus, jobs equal money for concert tickets. The only reason I haven't gone to the last few concerts I wanted to go to was that I didn't have the money. But now I can, ha ha! Success. Hopefully this whole job thing works. If not, then I don't know what else to do.
Cold showers completely ruin my day, and I see a lot of ruined days in the future. And ruined underwear.
Well, a bunch of stuff's happened in the past couple of weeks. Minor things, mind you, but still things. I read some books, was forced to watch The Perks Of Being A Wallflower with my lady friends, brought my grades up a bit, made a few new friends, started watching some new shows, started listening to a bunch of new bands, stuff like that. Time's passed by so quickly though. It's been over a month since Arden left and I'm starting to question if he's ever coming back. Probably now. Good job, Cyan. Good fuckin' job.
I really need to find someone. Just to get my mind off of things. But I don't seem to be attracted to anyone anymore. Plus, I don't know if I should try to find a guy or girl and if I do find a guy, what if someone finds out and-- Okay, Cyan, fucking shut up right now. That's not very punk rock of you. Stop it. Just find someone nice, and try to be happy. That's your goal. Find someone. Try to be happy. Stop fucking freaking out again or it's back to the therapist's for you.
Hell, I could always ask out Brooklyn again or just start to look around again. Oh lord I have no idea what I'm going to do. Who I'm going to do. But I'm starting to get really lonely, and yeah, I have great friends, and that's wonderful, but it's just not the same. Plus, all of my friends have significant others and it just makes me feel awkward being there. And lonely.
God, I reeeeaaaaally need to get someone so I can stop lying around and whining about everything. It leads to nothing good. I think that I'm not psychologically capable of being alone. It just doesn't mesh with me. Not at all. Eh, fine. I guess I'm getting someone.
=
Day 6 and the search has been going horribly. No one catches my eye. I even tried to date Brooklyn for a while, but I just couldn't do it. You know what, fuck this. I'm just gonna get a job. Plus, we need the money. I can tell that Mom's start to get really worn down, physically and emotionally. Plus, it'll give me a chance to distract myself.
=
A few days later, I am officially a Kroger employee. Congratulations, Cyan, you're finally doing something right. Plus, jobs equal money for concert tickets. The only reason I haven't gone to the last few concerts I wanted to go to was that I didn't have the money. But now I can, ha ha! Success. Hopefully this whole job thing works. If not, then I don't know what else to do.
♠ ♠ ♠
title cred: I Hope He Kills You - HandgunsI literally got this idea during my shower bc I was thinking about how hot I love my showers and baths and then I was like cold showers, gross.
-Sarah.