Pocrescophobia

A few days after I ran out of the restaurant, I finally decided that I shouldn't cower away in my house any long, so I met up with Myles and Tamryn and finally explained why I was here. Safe to say, there were a lot of tears, and this time, not mainly on my part. Tamryn was really torn up by it. I was touched that she already cared so much about me though we'd only been friends about a month. And also I told them that I'd be going back to Texas in less than a month. I also hoped that it would give Myles grounds to break up with me. But he seemed to cling on tighter. That's when I finally took things into my own hands and did it myself. I can't be selfish anymore. I can't do that to him.

"Look, Myles," I start as soon as Tamryn leaves. "Um, I have to talk to you." He nods at me, not even knowing what I'm going to say. Oh, so innocent. It makes me feel even worse. "Yeah, sure."

We both sit down on my plain bed, him looking so naive. I'm not sure if I can do this. No. I need to. "So what's up?" he asks. I look down at my hands, clearing my throat. "Look..." I start off, and immediately, his face drops. "Oh," he says before I can say anything else. I give him a confused look. "Oh?" He nods. "Things are never good when someone starts off saying look with that tone of voice. So, you're dumping me?" he asks. Dear god, he's better than I thought. But I still feel bad. I clear my throat once again. "Yeah... I'm really sorry, Myles. I mean, you're really awesome and like perfect, but I'm going through a lot of shit right now and I'm leaving in like three weeks and--" but he cuts me off with a raised hand. "It's fine, Arden. Really. I understand." And I feel like a weight's been lifted from my shoulders.

Why couldn't he have asked me out at any other time? Why now, when I can't really have him? Sigh. Well, at least he's understanding. And perfect. He's gonna make some guy really happy one day. But it's for the best. I'm not really attracted to him, and I'm leaving in three weeks to a state about 14 hours away. Plus, it's just not fair to him. Or me. Ugh, stop dwelling on it, Arden. He's fine.

Myles leaves a few minutes later, and I'm left to my thoughts again. And then I start thinking about when I go back in just less than three weeks. Oh glob, will Cyan be exactly the same? Will Mom and Dad send me to a rehab? Will all of my friends randomly abandon me?

No no no no no. Stop! Things will be okay, Arden. Things will be okay. You will make things okay. You will not blow things out of proportion this time. Things will be okay.