Pocrescophobia

These past few weeks have been pretty mediocre. Nothing's really happened whatsoever. I mean, some shit went down in my group, and half of the people I used to talk to aren't talking to me anymore, but I don't really care. As long as they aren't saying any shit about me, because honestly, they stopped talking to me for no reason because I've done absolutely nothing to them. But whatever.

I have this feeling that something's going to happen. A feeling deep in my loins. Just lying there dormant until something big goes down. Safe to say, my paranoia is at an all time high. Fucking paranoia. I've been on edge for the past couple weeks, and I'm sick and tired of it honestly. I'm done with this shit. I just want whatever's going to happen to just happen already so that I can stop jumping every time someone walks by me.

So I've been lighting candles all around my room to help calm me down, though my mom keeps yelling at me because apparently, I'm going to 'burn the house down.' Whatever. I mean, they're on a completely stable surface, and it has a glass thing around it, so it's not like anything would happen. Plus, it actually helps. And it helps my room not smell like a piece of shit. But whatever, Mom. Whatever.

Oh well, there's only a little bit of school left. Hopefully after school ends, things will cool down a little. Okay, that's bullshit, I know they will. Things are always better when I'm out of school. No one tries to impress me or talk to me or bother me unless they can actually reach me on my phone, but I usually turn off my phone for weeks on end. But that only encourages them to come over to my house. Just like they did that one time I didn't come to school. Fuckin' idiots.

Now that I've changed, they've started to leave me alone more. I figure that they're just not bothering anymore because I won't entertain them with pointless bullshit. And that's what they need to survive. Blissfully ignorant entertainment for blissfully ignorant lives. Ah, what can I say? I was one of them not too long ago, it just makes me sound like an ass. I think that they're too stupid to come out of it, honestly. It sounds mean, but really. I don't really expect them to come out of the ignorance. I mean, hey, at least I was somewhat of a good person still to my friends and stuff, but they're just overall assholes to everyone. But, hey, you never know. Ugh, my mind's all over the place.

Back to the point. Something shit's gonna go down. And I have a feeling that it's gonna be big.