Pocrescophobia

Oh, the universe is just crying out to me that today is a really important day. It's even stronger than the day when... yeah. The trees are swaying with the vicious wind, the sky darkens slightly, though there are no clouds threatening rain. Then again, it is pretty early in the morning. How early? Too damn early. I woke up before the alarm went off, which is definitely a sign. I barely even get up with the alarm. Eh, maybe it's just me being paranoid. Probably.

Rather than quickly dressing like I usually do, I instead take my time today. I have plenty of time today, and somehow, I'm not exhausted like I usually am after I wake up. Weird. Whatever. So I just make my jolly way around my room, trying to pick out a nice outfit for the day. Hmm, band t-shirt and jeans, or sweater and jeans? Such a tough choice. Eh, it doesn't matter, I'll end up looking perfect either way. I decide to actually not straighten my hair for once, leaving it in its wavy mess. Why not? Hmm, this doesn't look too bad... Maybe I should leave it like this more often.

After brushing my teeth, I check myself over once more and nonchalantly walk out to my car. Once I finally pick a random song on my iPod for the car, I drive off, enjoying the nice, dark morning. I love mornings without the sun. I'm not really sure why, but I've always loved being outside when it's dark. Well, in the morning mostly. It gets a little creepy late at night.

Anyway, I pull up in the nearly empty parking lot and quickly text Lauren to find out where she is. She replies, telling me that she's alone this time (ugh, sweet), and that she's sitting outside next to the tree we go to sometimes. I briskly walk to the tree with the nice view of the dull parking lot and even duller school. A familiar figure is huddled under the tree, probably texting someone. Oh, Lauren. Always texting someone. As I approach her, she lifts her head up and smiles at me slightly before going back to her phone. I plod down next to her serenely; we don't even really need to talk to be at peace around each other. The sky changes slightly, finally lightening into a light blue sky, the first touch of the sun coming out to warm my face. Time passes by quickly, and as each minute passes, people start to pile into the parking lot with their friends, clutching warm cups of coffee in their hands like life support. I notice Arden's friend, Cheyenne, pull up into the parking lot a couple of minutes later, but after she gets out of the car, I notice something else. Holy shit.

It's him. He's fucking back. Oh my god, what do I do? Should I go up to him? Should I approach him in school? I can already hear whispers breaking out in every direction at the sight of him. He still looks so perfect, yet so deathly skinny. Before I can think anything else, my legs are already pushing me up and leading me in his direction without my assent. He's standing next to Cheyenne's car, nervously talking with her. What am I doing? What am I doing? They don't even seem to notice me until I'm halfway across the parking lot.

Finally, she notices me, silently pointing me out to him. As our eyes lock, a look of pure fear that I've seen before, and now dread, takes over his face, sending jolts of something across my body. Guilt, maybe? But as she pulls him away, he stops her silently, standing his ground. Okay, good, he's not running away, it'll make this easier. But what is this? I don't even have to answer really, because I already know, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. My body and my brain are yelling at me to do it.

I finally reach the trembling boy, wrapped in layers, within minutes, and he stares apprehensively at me, trying not to break eye contact. Once I finally reach him, I don't say anything, my tongue dried up in my mouth, my heart beating rapidly, my body going cold, yet also adopting a warm, fuzzy feeling. His brown eyes finally lose all courage and fall to the ground, before he takes a deep breath and looks up again with a hard expression on his face. I barely even notice that everyone's staring at us, trying to guess my next move.

His pink lips open to speak, and I'm paralysed with fear.

"What, are you here to--" he starts, but I quickly cut him off with something that nobody was expecting. I placidly placed my hand behind his head to grasp his soft obsidian hair, bring my hand forward, and in front of nearly the entire school, I kiss him.

=

Oh dear god, it's so perfect, even though he's too shocked to respond. I bet that if he was thinking straight, he would've pushed me away without a thought. I can hear the collected gasps of the crowd around us. I didn't even think about people, how now I'll probably become one of the targets of the people I used to hang out with. But for once, I don't even care, because the only thing I can think about, the only thing I can feel, is his lips on mine.