Pocrescophobia

So after he spills his secret, we just lay there for a bit together before heading back to laze around for a while, enjoying each other’s company. For a while, we don’t really speak, too afraid to break the careful silence bound together by the strings of his fear. But I can see where he comes from in many ways. Although I’m still not sure if I forgive him, I think that I can one day. And I’m willing to… look past it for now so that we can enjoy our time together. I really enjoy being around him, and even though he did a lot of horrible things to me, I enjoy being around how he is now. I really, really hope that he did change and that he’s not just lying, because that would be a huge bummer that would most likely ruin my life even more than it’s ruined right now.

Hmm. Anyway, we head back to my room and I grab my laptop to log onto Netflix and pick something out. We lay parallel to each other on my bed as I pick out the episode of Soul Eater I was last watching. I curl up to Cyan slightly, trying to assuage the thoughts that I know are pushing in the back of his mind. I know because that’s what mine do all of the time.

“You watch Soul Eater, too?” he asks once it starts up. I nod into his shoulder. “Yeah, I started it a few weeks ago. You watch it?” He just replies “yeah” softly and we fall into a comfortable silence quickly, not needing redundant words to fill the room devoid of noise unnecessarily.

=

A few episodes pass and then finally, my roommate is existential once again as he strides into our room. He nods to me and then continues to his bed before there’s a double take and he notices the boy next to me on my bed.

“That him?” he asks simply. I nod as a reply. Cyan and I are both too enthralled with the action on my laptop screen to really register his sudden appearance.

“Well, don’t blame me if you don’t remember me because you’re not listening and you get in trouble, but dinner is in a few minutes, so get your ass and your boy toy’s ass down there in 5. Deuces,” he says sassily. I wave him off.

“Yeah, we’ll be there in a few minutes, Kendrick,” I tell him and then reluctantly pause the episode, much to the protest of a pouting Cyan. I grab onto his hand and weakly attempt to pull him up off of the bed, but he uses his superior strength to pull me back down next to him and grab me so that I can’t get back up again. I sigh. “Come on, Cyan, we need to go,” I whine, struggling to get up. With a sigh, he stands up suddenly, leaving me on the bed. “Okay.”

I give him a look of askance and get up as well, but before we can go anywhere, he grabs onto my wrist gently and pulls me back to him. “Hey, I want to ask you something,” he tells me. My eyebrows furrow at him. “What?” I reply. He looks down at me, slightly nervous. “Would you wanna… be my boyfriend?” he asks. After a few seconds, I give him a small smile and nod. “Yeah, sure.”

And all of the worry in his face quickly wanes as he gives me a huge smile and we stand there for a minute or so, looking like complete idiots, I’m sure. But I don’t really care, honestly. Finally, I snap out of my trance and give his hand a short tug, and start moving towards the door, still hand in hand with Cyan. Cyan, my boyfriend. It sounds so… strange. Yet it fills me with this warm feeling. Ugh, I’m so girly. It’s not like I care though. I can be as girly as I fuckin want.

And so we make our way downstairs to the cafeteria where I spot the group I sit with at our usual table. I nonchalantly lead Cyan over to the table and everyone stares up at us and our entwined hands questioningly, but thankfully not with disgust. But I see one set of eyes follow Cyan with such acuity that I highly doubt that she has any good intentions in her mind. And of course, I can only be talking about Ashlie. Are you fucking kidding me? I look up at Cyan and notice him looking down at me with a caring expression. Okay, good. Because honestly, she could probably steal him from me easily, and I really don’t want her to.

We walk past them to get our mediocre meals and then sit at the end of the group, directly across from Cora and Harmony. But Ashlie is still eyeing Cyan like he’s lunch. Dinner passes slowly as we eat and make steady conversation. Thankfully, everyone seems to like Cyan. But the bitch keeps trying to butt in on conversations and catch his attention. He seems amused at it. Whew. I mean, I wouldn’t blame him. She’s gorgeous and skinny and nice to certain people. And female. But he seems to brush off her every attempt.

Finally, the end comes and we all go to Rebekah’s room to hang out together. We all sit around the room, a few on the bed, a few on the couch, one in a chair, and then Cyan and I next to each other on the floor. Easy conversation flows through the room and I sigh quietly, laying my head lightly on Cyan’s comfy shoulder. A voice breaks through my thoughts.

“So,” Cora starts, “How did you two meet?” Oh no. Cyan gives me a slightly scared look and I just shrug at him. “Um, well… it’s kind of a long story. And not really a good one. All that matters is that we’re here, y’know?” I answer, giving Cyan a pointed, trying to communicate that I’m trying to forgive him. The others give us a slightly dissatisfied look but brush it off, nodding. “Okay,” she tells us, not wanting to pry. But one won’t give up. “No, it’s not okay. Tell us. We all so desperately want to know,” Ashlie says desperately. What’s her fucking deal? Rebekah hits her upside the head. “Shut up, Ash. Lay off. They don’t wanna talk about it.” Oh, Rebekah, I love you so.

“No, really. Do tell.” Everyone tells her to shut up, but she still tries. Multiple times. She is seriously pissing me off right now. Finally, the quiet one snaps.

“Ashlie, I know that you feel that Arden is threatening your status as the pretty queen bee because he’s skinnier than you and superior to you because he’s actually a good person, but you don’t need to be a big bitch about it, so I suggest that you leave right now before I fucking slap you with my book because if you ask one more time, I will not hesitate to do it,” Harmony states serenely, shocking us all. She merely looks up from her book, staring at Ashlie stoically until Ashlie finally huffs, standing up and storming out of the room, making sure to glare at me and slam the door as loudly as possible. I’m threatening to her?

For a while, everything is silent as Harmony goes back to her book and everyone stares at each other in a state of shock. Finally, Rebekah breaks the silence.

“Okay, well… um, Cyan, tell us about yourself,” she chimes, trying to break the awkward vibes in the room. And then everything goes on as we ignore what happened mere minutes ago.