Pocrescophobia

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, today is the day. Today is the day. The day that we go to retrieve my lovely Arden from his temporary home. And he doesn’t know it, but when we get back, we have a whole day of magnificent shit in store for us. Or maybe the next day, so he can spend the rest of his day home with his parents. But I can’t wait to finally take him out on a date.

Actually, I’m so excited that I only get about one hour of sleep for the entire night and end up heading over to Lauren’s, where Shae is spending the night (not like that, ya dingus), early so that I can gain some composure. Some balance and composure. Hah. Love that band… Anyway. So we just hang out for a couple of hours before I get a text from Arden’s parents saying that they’re leaving, so we head out briefly after said text. Unlike most other rides, I don’t get a single inch of sleep, instead choosing to bounce around happily in the backseat, marveling at the perpetually changing yet unchanging scenery outside the window and listening to my band of the week, Brand New.

The trip is longer than I remember, maybe because I’m so excited to get to Arden or maybe because usually, I sleep at least half of the time. But this time, not even the exhaustion of the sleep lost last night can get to me. Shae and Lauren end up shouting at me to ‘calm the fuck down’ at least 7 times. Such nice friends.

So anyway, once we finally pull up to the facility, I can barely contain my excitement and jump out of the car the very second that it stops, rushing out of the car to sprint across the parking lot and finally get inside the building. Once everyone else catches up, those lazy fuckers, the worker leads us through the familiar route to Arden’s room. Halfway there, I notice a familiar figure turning into a corridor and I run up, ignoring the shouts of the worker leading us, to the figure and give the unguarded person a full out bear hug.

With a jump, the familiar person turns around and soon, a bright grin spreads across his beautiful face as he hugs me back.

“Arden!” I grin, hugging him with my own might. I’m surprised he’s not crushed by the force with how tiny he still is. “Cyan!” he greets back, hugging me back and burying his head into my neck. “I missed you so much, baby,” I tell him. A small giggle leaves his mouth as we part. “It’s only been 2 weeks,” he teases drily, but then adds, “but I missed you, too.”

I take his exceptionally smaller hand in mine and lead him back to our group of others looking excited to see Arden. Well, I can’t blame them. Not at all. Just seeing his bright smile lights up my day and keeps me satisfied for the two weeks we’re apart. Once Arden greets everyone, we start to head up to his room where his things are to start loading them up. Well, his parents volunteered to load his things up (with much protest from the rest of us) while we let Arden take us around one last time to say goodbye to the people we’ve all become at least acquaintances with. Well, when you see people twice a month for a few months, you tend to become friends with them. Plus, they’re pretty cool people. I’m glad that Arden made friends with people like this and that he wasn’t surrounded by vindictive bitches that were only making him worse, not helping him get better.

Even though it’s generally early in the morning, Arden’s room is filled with familiar faces. Most of them tired, albeit, but still there, and still awake enough to make pleasant conversation until Arden’s parents return. And he’s forced to say goodbye to the people he’s grown close to for the past few months. Deciding to give him privacy, the rest of us stand outside while he says goodbye to everyone. But about fifteen minutes later, everyone walks out of the room, looking more teary-eyed than when I left. Especially Arden. Aw, my poor baby. I wrap my arm around his shoulder in a comforting gesture and as he leans back into me, the rest of us say our farewells and promise to keep in touch.

We walk down to the front desk in a slow journey where many workers stop us to wish Arden luck and dote on how much of a great boy he is. I find it adorable when he blushes profusely and buries himself deep into my shoulder. So, his parents finally check him out of the facility and he follows us out of the building, looking up to the deep blue sky and smiling brightly, enjoying his freedom. He takes my hands in his and starts to leap around, taking me with him. With a deep laugh, I join him, so mesmerized by the happiness of the boy who gives me happiness.

We skip merrily to the car, leaving the other four laughing behind us as we skip in unison. Until I die, I will skip with you in unison. So, the others finally catch up to us, and Arden and I decide to ride together in his parent’s car he can spend time with the both of us and so that Lauren and Shae can have a little more alone time.

“So, how does it feel?” Deborah asks Arden. “To be out? Wonderful,” he replies serenely. “And, uh… thanks, guys. For being supportive and stuff. For not just sending me to a therapist and pumping me full of pills or just ignoring me and making it worse,” he adds shyly. Deborah turns around, sending him a genuine smile and I feel slightly uncomfortable being in the intimate moment. “It’s no problem, baby. We’ll always be there for you. No matter what.” Well, even if it really uncomfortable, it’s still nice to see that his parents really care about him.

The rest of the car ride is spent joking and talking with Arden and his parents until we finally arrive in front of his house in the middle of the afternoon. We all help out to get Arden’s stuff inside and unpacked once we all pull up. Once we’re finished, we all hang out a little, shooting the shit until Lauren and Shae announce that they have to leave, but it’s awesome that Arden’s back and that we have to hang out sometime soon. A few minutes after they leave, Arden and I go up to his room so that he can show me the stuff that everyone got him before he left. I’m only half focused on the actual presents, but more focused on the bright smile lighting up his face as he gets lost in his descriptions of the people and memories.

“Cyan? Are you even listening?” he scolds me. “Of course I’m not, darling,” I reply, giving him a short kiss. “Sorry, Arden, but I’ve gotta split,” I start, and as he starts to pout, I shake my head. “You should spend some time with your parents, y’know. But I’ll be back tomorrow and we’ll hang out all day, okay?” He nods in response, causing me to smile at him. “Great. I’ll pick you up at noon. See you tomorrow,” I tell him. “Okay,” he answers.

Before I can leave though, I turn back to him and engulf him in a hug. “I’m really proud of you, Arden. I really am. God, it takes so fucking much to accept help and go through what you have. When I was… going through a bad time, I couldn’t even do that. I just… you mean so much to me, and even though we’ve been through so much shit together, I just wanted you to know that to me, it’s all worth it. You’re worth it.”

Arden sniffles a little bit in my shoulder and I hug him tighter for a bit before wiping the small tears from his cheeks and giving him a small smile. “I hate to leave, but I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?” I tell him gently. He nods softly and leans up to give me one last kiss. “Okay.”

And then we part and I walk out the door, starting to gather the plans altogether in my head. Tomorrow’s going to be completely perfect, and nothing can change that.