Last Night
So there i was about to snuff it when i heard the phone vibrate a long loathsome tone. As i fumbled about my pockets to find what the meaning of this intrusion was i discovered a txt from the demon god manny. He decided to tell me about an "off the hook party" that was happening at the flat of champion st near the round table. As i walked into the room i was surrounded by paintings and the sparkle of gold all around me. It was now that i realised i had not just come to any party, but the party of champions!
As i tried to find the entrance to the lounge through the hidden passageway i heard a fearsome growling noise from behind the book case. When i looked behind it i found a cat. "how do you do?" said the cat, I jumped back in surprise and screamed what! a talking cat! Unfortunately this couldnt be far from the truth it turns out it was just manny standing behind me making growling sounds and then pretending he was the cat talking.
As we laughed it off manny led me down the dark dangerous hallway to a lounge that was filled with characters far and wide. Supposedly they had all come from the planet hoyts. (No planet that i've ever heard of but what is one to think when they meet a room of people who you've never met. I mean really it's racist to assume they aren't from a different planet if they tell you they are)
So i sat down quietly and observed the situation at first. Then suddenly i found i had a beer in my hand. It turns out manny had magically turned my hand into an ever lasting beer. I yelled "Manny i dont want my hand to stay like this forever!" to which he replied dont be a pussy 1 beer belcher i'll change it back later when youre drunk enough". After much debating i agreed and began to socialise with the other hoyty toyties (my nickanme for them). I met an interesting 2 headed being called Nicole Milly which was incredibly surprising. I asked them "isn't it annoying to have 2 heads" to which they replied "hey it elps you get a HEAD in life" and we cackled hysterically. Later i found out they weren't one being but they were just sharing a blanket.
After most of the hoyty toyties left there were only five of us left myself, manny, nicole, milly and a strange shape shifting lion called lucan. Before this point i had never actually talked with lucan but i had been told that he was actually a lion that could transform into a human. When i asked why he wanted to look human i was told to shush and that noone was supposed to know his true form. Although i was more curious than ever i had to bite my tongue for now. After sometime we were barely on the planet anymore (which makes me wonder if i somehow got transported to the planet hoyts again). Having said that i still partied hard the tunes of fat boy slim but after sometime people began to become dreary and bored. Manny suggested an epic plan. To go on a trip to the demon world! a world which had laid dormant for centuries.
So off we went and packed our bags and got ready for a large adventure into the demonic realm. By now i was getting thoroughly pissed off with one of my hands being a bottle of beer and i began pleading to Manny to turn my hand back. unfortunately my pleading was not granted with a good reception as my pleading attracted the attention of large demon pets called agilians. Manny told us all to run and hide and that he would take care of it but before hed even said that we were all hiding behind a rock hoping that we would live to see another day. After manny had listened to them rant about being a demon pet for many hours they finally left and we clambered out from behind the rock. I asked Lucan why didnt you turn into your lion form and help us, and at that very moment i knew i had made a dreadful mistake. Lucan towered over me with a beard like none you have ever seen and bellowed at me "HOW DARE YOU MENTION MY TRUE FORM! NO BEING IS MEANT TO TALK OF THIS!" at this moment i couldn't decide what i was more surprised about, the fact that lucan had actually said something or the fact that his beard was just incredible, either matter i knew i had to cool him down quick. I profusely apologised and began begging at his knees for him not to kill me. At which point he began to laugh, I said "why are you laughing?" and he began to laugh even louder. "I DIDN'T ACTUALLY EXPECT YOU'D THINK I WAS SERIOUS! THIS WAS ALL JUST A BIG JOKE, YOU'VE BEEN PNUK'D!" and suddenly Ashton Kutcher appeared to tell me over and over that i had been punk'd so i said "YOU'RE THE PUNK" and somehow let out some demonic power and transported him to a different realm. I asked Manny "why do i have this power all of a sudden?" and he said "well, you see, that beer bottle on your hand contains demonic energy and in this area demonic energy is increased. Even with the little demonic energy you have compared to a mere mortal your power is limitless." This only brought more questions, why were there demon pets when this place was supposedly abandoned? why did i have a beer for a hand that gave me magic powers?, what kind of people does manny hang out with..? and more importantly WHAT IS THE POINT IN BEING HERE. Unfortunately none of the these questions were answered except for one.
We made our way forwards through dark magma ridden caves and dark patches. It all felt so creepy here, I was all for excitement but this was just pure absurdity. Eventually We came to the kings quarter where the ancient demon kings used to rule this world from. And up the top we saw the sight of all sights. A giant disco ball and a karaoke machine with any song one so chose to dance to. At this point i knew this night was going to be a great night. After dancing for an hour I blanked out. and woke up in my flat in the middle of London supposedly days later. I began to wonder what had really gone on that night and why i had gone along with these foolish endeavors just to have a dance party in the demon world. As i went back to sleep Manny appeared in my room (creepy i know but hes a demon he can teleport where he so chooses). He said "so man ready for another adventure" and i said "where to this time?" to the beginning of time!" I said to myself "here we go again!" and got ready to disembark on yet another dangerous journey.
The End
As i tried to find the entrance to the lounge through the hidden passageway i heard a fearsome growling noise from behind the book case. When i looked behind it i found a cat. "how do you do?" said the cat, I jumped back in surprise and screamed what! a talking cat! Unfortunately this couldnt be far from the truth it turns out it was just manny standing behind me making growling sounds and then pretending he was the cat talking.
As we laughed it off manny led me down the dark dangerous hallway to a lounge that was filled with characters far and wide. Supposedly they had all come from the planet hoyts. (No planet that i've ever heard of but what is one to think when they meet a room of people who you've never met. I mean really it's racist to assume they aren't from a different planet if they tell you they are)
So i sat down quietly and observed the situation at first. Then suddenly i found i had a beer in my hand. It turns out manny had magically turned my hand into an ever lasting beer. I yelled "Manny i dont want my hand to stay like this forever!" to which he replied dont be a pussy 1 beer belcher i'll change it back later when youre drunk enough". After much debating i agreed and began to socialise with the other hoyty toyties (my nickanme for them). I met an interesting 2 headed being called Nicole Milly which was incredibly surprising. I asked them "isn't it annoying to have 2 heads" to which they replied "hey it elps you get a HEAD in life" and we cackled hysterically. Later i found out they weren't one being but they were just sharing a blanket.
After most of the hoyty toyties left there were only five of us left myself, manny, nicole, milly and a strange shape shifting lion called lucan. Before this point i had never actually talked with lucan but i had been told that he was actually a lion that could transform into a human. When i asked why he wanted to look human i was told to shush and that noone was supposed to know his true form. Although i was more curious than ever i had to bite my tongue for now. After sometime we were barely on the planet anymore (which makes me wonder if i somehow got transported to the planet hoyts again). Having said that i still partied hard the tunes of fat boy slim but after sometime people began to become dreary and bored. Manny suggested an epic plan. To go on a trip to the demon world! a world which had laid dormant for centuries.
So off we went and packed our bags and got ready for a large adventure into the demonic realm. By now i was getting thoroughly pissed off with one of my hands being a bottle of beer and i began pleading to Manny to turn my hand back. unfortunately my pleading was not granted with a good reception as my pleading attracted the attention of large demon pets called agilians. Manny told us all to run and hide and that he would take care of it but before hed even said that we were all hiding behind a rock hoping that we would live to see another day. After manny had listened to them rant about being a demon pet for many hours they finally left and we clambered out from behind the rock. I asked Lucan why didnt you turn into your lion form and help us, and at that very moment i knew i had made a dreadful mistake. Lucan towered over me with a beard like none you have ever seen and bellowed at me "HOW DARE YOU MENTION MY TRUE FORM! NO BEING IS MEANT TO TALK OF THIS!" at this moment i couldn't decide what i was more surprised about, the fact that lucan had actually said something or the fact that his beard was just incredible, either matter i knew i had to cool him down quick. I profusely apologised and began begging at his knees for him not to kill me. At which point he began to laugh, I said "why are you laughing?" and he began to laugh even louder. "I DIDN'T ACTUALLY EXPECT YOU'D THINK I WAS SERIOUS! THIS WAS ALL JUST A BIG JOKE, YOU'VE BEEN PNUK'D!" and suddenly Ashton Kutcher appeared to tell me over and over that i had been punk'd so i said "YOU'RE THE PUNK" and somehow let out some demonic power and transported him to a different realm. I asked Manny "why do i have this power all of a sudden?" and he said "well, you see, that beer bottle on your hand contains demonic energy and in this area demonic energy is increased. Even with the little demonic energy you have compared to a mere mortal your power is limitless." This only brought more questions, why were there demon pets when this place was supposedly abandoned? why did i have a beer for a hand that gave me magic powers?, what kind of people does manny hang out with..? and more importantly WHAT IS THE POINT IN BEING HERE. Unfortunately none of the these questions were answered except for one.
We made our way forwards through dark magma ridden caves and dark patches. It all felt so creepy here, I was all for excitement but this was just pure absurdity. Eventually We came to the kings quarter where the ancient demon kings used to rule this world from. And up the top we saw the sight of all sights. A giant disco ball and a karaoke machine with any song one so chose to dance to. At this point i knew this night was going to be a great night. After dancing for an hour I blanked out. and woke up in my flat in the middle of London supposedly days later. I began to wonder what had really gone on that night and why i had gone along with these foolish endeavors just to have a dance party in the demon world. As i went back to sleep Manny appeared in my room (creepy i know but hes a demon he can teleport where he so chooses). He said "so man ready for another adventure" and i said "where to this time?" to the beginning of time!" I said to myself "here we go again!" and got ready to disembark on yet another dangerous journey.
The End
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The epic Party
JARGON