And After All This Time, I'm Still Into You

My head is pounding, and it feels like my brain is trying to escape from my skull. I groan as I sit up, my body aching. Taking in my surrounding, I see that I'm not in my bed, but on the floor of my room. That explains the body ache. I pick up my arm and scratch it, the carpet leaving tiny marks all over. I yawn and my shirt rides up. I must’ve changed into some pj’s last night.

I look down and confusion sets in when I realize what I'm wearing. I'm in one of Alex's old glamour kills shirt and All Time Low booty shorts. My wedding dress is on the floor next to me, a giant red stain on the front.

"Oh no. No, no, no, no, no." I moan as I remember last nights events. My hand gripping the wine bottle and yelping when it slipped through my grasp, dropping onto my dress. I remember as I cried, kicking the wine bottle to the other side of the room.

I continued to cry as I walked to the bathroom, stripping myself of the dress and throwing it in the sink to run under water. When it didn't do any good, I cried some more, taking it back to my room and grabbing my current outfit out of one of the boxes. It was after I changed, drunk and exhausted from crying, that I slumped onto the floor and passed out.

I'm going to have to take this to the cleaners, I thought to myself as I held my head in my hands. I take off the shorts, grabbing my jeans from yesterday and putting them on. I put my socks and shoes on and grab my coat, not even bothering to change out of the shirt. I run into the bathroom, grabbing some Advil from the medicine cabinet and popping 2 in my mouth before going back to my room to grab my phone and the dress.

Looking at the time, I realize it's almost 10. I rush downstairs and fly past my parents, grabbing my moms keys and heading towards the front door. "I'm going to the dry cleaners. I'll be back in a bit."

"Don't you want some breakfast?" My mother yells back and I shake my head. Truth be told, I'm nervous that the longer I wait, the harder it will be for them to take the stain out. I know I'm overreacting though. Once I pull into the parking lot of the nearest shopping center, I find the dry cleaners and park, hurrying out the car and into the shop.

"Is this all for you?" the young women at the front asks the girl at the counter. She nods and the women takes her things, handing her a receipt.

The girl turns and I realize she's wearing a grey JAGK hoodie. "Hey! I like your shirt!" she says and I realize my coat is open. I stare down at the shirt, the words 'So Alive' staring back at me amongst the flock of birds, a moon and a field. If it wasn't for the tiny pink pig next to it, you'd think it was just another shirt. I look back up at the girl and it's as if something has sparked her memory. "Do I...know you from somewhere?" she asks and I immediately shake my head. This town is packed with All Time Low superfans. She probably has seen me around when I used to be with Alex. Our relationship was never a secret from his fans.

"I'm sorry. I don't think so. Maybe a concert?" I say and she looks like that could be it.

"Maybe." she shrugs. I smile at her and she walks out of the shop.

This town is always going to have some sort of reminder of Alex everywhere I go. Sighing, I take my dress up to the girl at the counter. She smiles up at me and asses the dress, glancing up at me as she does.

"All Time Low fan?" she asks, a slight hint of humor in her voice.

I shake my head. "Not really." I mumble.

"Oh, sorry. I just assumed. The shirt and all. Kinda eavesdropped on your conversation. I know that they're a big supporter of Glamour Kills, too." she said bashfully.

"It's okay. I mean, this is All Time Low territory, right?" I asked in a chuckle. She nods, taking the dress and putting it on a counter at the back.

"Yeah and it's cool because these fans are so cool about it. Like, they know the guys go out and they don't bombard them. It's awesome to see them react like that. I mean, I know they're probably all tired from fans around the world and it's cool that at home they could just be regular guys." she says.

"I take it you're a fan?" I ask and she blushes. I chuckle.

“You know...you do look kind of familiar. Maybe you just have one of those faces.” she says and shrugs.

I chuckle. “Maybe. Ok well, I guess that's all." I say, trying to let her know I'm done talking. She hurriedly prints my receipt and I thank her, telling her I'd be back by the allotted time to pick up the dress.

On my way home, I decide to drive past Alex's parents house, debating whether I want to stop or not. My car slows down and I look up at the house. A house that held so many memories during my high school years. I breathe out slowly as I feel tears gathering in my eyes. I quickly wipe them away, admitting to myself that maybe going wouldn't be such a good idea. Putting my foot on the pedal, I press down, driving away from the house.

I drove aimlessly around the neighborhood, taking in all that has changed since the last time I had been around here. A lot had changed in 3 years, but stayed the same as well, if that made any sense. I look up ahead, smiling as a familiar sight comes into view. I park the car and walk up, the thin layer of snow crunching beneath my feet.

The park, with its swings, slides and sandboxes. The picnic tables. This place hadn't changed at all. Walking over to one of the tables in the back, I sit down, my hands brushing away some snow as my fingers reach over to trace over the markings. There were so many. Each of them held a meaning. I look up, my eyes settling over to the end of the street, the two story house in the distance sticking out amongst the other. There's nothing special about it. It looks like every other house on this street. But the familiarity of it is what stands out from all the rest.

The house was a big step for us. It was a sign of what this was; this was real. We were married, actually married. We had fallen in love with the house the moment we saw it, but had decided to move in once we were married. First time we stepped into that house as a married couple was something I'd never forget.

We pulled up to the house, my gaze immediately going towards it, my eyes lighting up with excitement. I didn't even notice as Alex had gotten out of the drivers seat and came to open my door for me.

"Oh." I chuckled. "Thank you. Such a gentleman." He took my hand and led me out of the car, shutting the door behind me.

"Only for you." he winked.

We walked up the pathway, lined with pebbles, towards the house. Once in front of the door, Alex turned to look at me, smiling as he held our new set of keys in his hand.

"Ready?" he asked and I nodded my head, grinning from ear to ear. He put the key in the door, turning the lock and pushing it open. I made a move to step in when he held me back. "Wait! I have to carry you over the threshold!" he said excitedly and I rolled my eyes but let him pick me up nonetheless.

I wrapped my arms around him and he smiled at me, making my heart do back flips and somersaults. Alex pecked my lips and mumbled an 'I love you' before entering our new home. He put me down and closed the door behind us. I took in the house. Our house.

"Can you believe we own a house now?" I asked, amazed at all this.

Alex kissed my shoulder. "It's the first step of many towards us growing up. Next we'll be having kids running around and shit." My eyes widened and I looked back at Alex and he laughs. We had discussed kids before, but now it seemed more real. "Hey, don't look so scared. We don't have to think about that now. But later down the line, I want all your babies running around here."

"Little Gaskarth babies? Sounds like a deal." I giggle and kiss his lips quickly.

"I would say let's go christen every room of this house, but everyone is going to be here soon." Alex whispered in my ear, causing chills to go up my spine.

"Then we better make this quick." I mumbled, kissing him hard as my fingers found his jeans.

The door to the house opened 20 minutes later, Jack coming in with a box in his hands.

"Are you guys decent?" Jack yelled as he put the box he was carrying down, his hand immediately going to cover his eyes. "We know you guys were fucking. Why do you think we took so long to get here."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the blush that crept up to my cheeks as I walked out of the kitchen to meet Jack. Alex came over and put his arm around me, pulling me to his side.

"Hey, the things me and my wife do are none of your business anymore."

Jack uncovered his eye and smirked at us. "Psh, whether you live with me and Rian or not, the things you do will always be our business. It comes with the price of being a member of the All Time Low family."

"Well, things are changing Jacky." I said as I went towards the door. "Now we don't always have to know when you're taking a shit. Or when Rian and Kara are having shower sex. Oh god, that is one thing I won't miss. Paper thin bathroom walls." Alex chuckled and we all went outside where Rian, Zack, Kara and Lisa were taking stuff out of a moving van.

"Ah! How was the honeymoon?" Kara said as she ran up and hugged me, Lisa close behind her.

Me and Alex went to wine country for the weekend. Nothing big but amazing nonetheless. We decided since we're always leaving to travel, that we wanted to stay close to home for a few days instead of weeks like most people. It was exactly what we needed. We came straight from there to the new house so I hadn't really got to talk to Lisa and Kara.

"It was...romantic, amazing...it was exactly what we needed." I said as I blushed.

"Okay, well, you have to tell us more about it later. Right now it looks like the guys need help." Lisa said and we looked over to see the guys who were laughing around, not even getting any of the boxes. We rolled our eyes and made sure to put them to work.

"Moving is such hard work. I didn't know you had so much shit between the two of you." Jack complained later on during the day as he threw himself onto the couch.

"Well, I'm hungry so I think we should take a break." Zack suggested.

"I just ordered some pizza. Should be here soon." Kara said, leaning against Rian as he kissed her forehead.

"One problem though," he said as he held his girlfriend. "You don't have any furniture."

I looked around. It was true. Alex and I had yet to shop for furniture. All we had was our bed, which was nothing but a simple frame and mattress that we were only using till we bought a better one, and one couch. Everything else we had was just dressers and boxes of our random shit and clothes. We had a lot of clothes between the two of us.

"Yeah, one couch is not enough. Because I want to just lay my ass here and not let any of you fuckers sit." Jack said.

"Get your fat ass off my couch." Alex said, jumping onto his best friend. Jack grunted but didn't move off.

"I think I seen a park down the street when we were coming up here." Lisa said. "It had picnic benches. We should just go there."

"Yeah, it's not too cold or hot." Zack said, chiming in as he stood up. The doorbell rang. "Perfect timing!"

We all got up and followed him to the door. The pizza delivery man looked surprised to see a group of people coming to the door to get the pizza. We all went around him, going out the door as Alex paid him and locked up the house.

When we got to the park, there was a few people there so, knowing that our crowd would be loud and probably disturb everyone, we went to the farthest benches towards the end of the park, away from everyone else.

We talked while we ate, reminiscing about the good times. Jack was convinced Alex would not be fun anymore now that he was married.

"Now he'll have to ask before he comes out to play." Jack said, sticking his tongue out at me.

"Jack, you're an idiot. We lived together and it was almost like we were already married. And I never held him back from doing anything. I am not a demanding clingy bitch." I said throwing a piece of crust at him. It landed on his shoulder and he picked it up, eating it.

"Yeah, but now you live together without me." he whined with his mouth full.

"It's okay, Jack." Lisa said, putting her head on his shoulder. "I'm sure Jenna won't keep Alex away from you. Just like I'm sure Alex won't keep Jenna away from me."

Alex shook his head. "As long as she comes home every night to give me some sweet lovin’, we're good." Everyone laughed.

"Nothing is going to change just because we're married." I said.

It was then that Alex had the bright idea to pull out his keys, carving his name into the wooden table. We each did the same, carving anything and everything we could. From ATL RULEZ to Rian is a potato.

"JKL?" Rian asked Lisa as he peered over her shoulder from him writing Kara + Rian.

"Jenna Kara Lisa. Duh, Ri." she said rolling her eyes. She looked over at Alex and his handy work and smiled. I peered over and smiled also.

"We're immortalized." he said proudly, looking over his work.

A breeze of air washes over me, chilling my body and bringing me back from my memories. My fingers trace over the letters. Alex+Jenna, an infinity sign under it. Words that once held so much meaning, now just a shadow of a memory. I sigh as a whirl of snow flutters down from the sky, my sign to leave. Getting in my car, I take one last look at the house, starting the car and driving away.