Craving More

I never wanted love. I could never bring myself to fully give my all to someone who did or had the potential to make me feel like I deserved all the love there was to be given.

And then Harry came along.

He was like any other boy that had tried asking me out...at least that's how it all seemed in the beginning. Of course I was too stubborn to let him in. To really show him the way I felt towards him. He was always so patient with it, which I am still to this day thankful for.

I continuously had a wall up, while he was comfortably open about his feelings towards me. I'm not sure if that's why I stuck around for so long - or if its why I ran away after being with him for almost eight months.

I told Harry at the start of us that I wasn't looking for my prince charming. I said that he better not try to change my mind of my views on love either. Last thing I needed was a cheeky 18 year old boy trying to make someone as radical as I am fall in love.

I met him at the coffee shop in uptown London, having just moved there from somewhere in the states. I had been working the night shift with Emma, very few people entering now and then.

There was soft humming from the speakers going on, Bon Iver's music playing, when I had heard quiet laughter from the entry way, a couple people coming inside. I didn't bother to look up from the journal that was laying on my lap, so I continued to inscribe whatever came to mind.

I loved to write. It had always been my dream to become a writer, ever since I was a kid and still at home. Of course, everything changed when I left home at sixteen. But then again, that all inspired my writing that much more.

I wrote about all the placed I've been, things I've seen, adventures I'd go on. But I would make them sound a bit more glamourus than they actually were.

"Cora! Back to earth! Your turn to serve the costumers." Emma said as she headed to the back room.

I nonchalantly put my thick book away after marking the last page I was on, then made my way to make the drinks that the people asked for. The orders were already on a piece of paper, and I assumed the people that had just ordered were sitting down already because they weren't in sight, plus I couldn't see past the counter, me being only 5'2.

"Two green tea's to stay!" I yelled out.

I leaned my petite figure closer to the other side of the counter, finally being able to see a boy with a grey beanie on his head walking over to where I was. He was scanning me with his lovely vehement eyes. I could see the dark brown curls peaking through the beanie he wore. He appeared to stand at about 5'11, most likely able to tower over me had there not been a wide counter breaking the closeness.

He handed over the exact change into my hand.

"Thanks, love." He had such a deep husky voice, making him seem maybe a couple years older than he looked, yet the smile that followed after he spoke made him look a bit younger.

"Have a nice night." I said softly, looking him in his eyes as intently as he was looking into mine.

He continued to look at me, only taking a couple steps backwards. I figured he wasn't about to ask for some napkins or food to go with his hot beverage, so I finally walked back to the chair that I was sitting on earlier, being able to have a clear view of the store.

I heard soft mumbling of voices from the table that was positioned to the window out looking the city life going on outside. It was quite a peaceful evening, very few teenagers and adults going out to a bar or heading home from one.

I took out my journal yet again, hoping that there wouldn't be any more people wanting our service.

I could tell from where I was that the two boys had been or were speaking of me. I could feel the eyes going over my body.

"Can I help you boys with something?" I looked up from my writing, getting rather annoyed with the stares.

"He thinks you're hot!" The curly haired guys friend spoke to me, eyes widened and pointing his finger to him.

The one with the beanie smacked his loud friend on the head, causing him to smack him right back in return.

They both stood up from their seats, the legs scratching the floor as they moved.

I just silently watched them leave our shop, the one that thought I was hot turning his head to the side, giving me another quick glance before his tall figure disappeared completely.

That was the first time I ever saw Harry. I never had expected he would play such a huge role in my life.

"I'm always gonna be there for you, Cora. Even if you feel you don't need someone to rely on for that. And if you try to run away... I'll still be there. Of course after I've roamed every continent searching for you. I'll always love you."

He said those words to my face only a couple months ago after I'd told him about the first time I ran away from someone who had said they were in love with me. That guy didn't try find me when I had moved from whichever city I was living in at the time. And all I could wonder about now was if Harry meant what he said to me at the time. Was he looking for me right now? Or is he just sitting at the coffee shop writing music, humming quietly to himself like he always did when I was too busy with costumers to go sit and keep him company. The way he claimed he used to do at his run down apartment before I moved to town.

I held back all the emotions I felt building up inside me and put my earphones in to drown out the thoughts that made me crave for his affection.

I looked out the window of my new apartment in New Jersey, viewing the beautiful city lights sparkle all around. Eventually I decided to lay my head on the small table, resting for a bit. Preparing myself for what the next chapter of my life may hold without Harry Styles at my side, I closed my eyes and let sleep wash over me.