The Saints Can't Help Me Now

Steve-O throws his silly Indian hat on the ground and walks away. “I’m done, I’m fucking done! You guys have been trying to piss me off all day and you’ve done it, I’m fucking pissed off.” They finish the bit at the temple without Steve-O and he goes to sit in the jeep by himself and pout. Of course I am chosen to go calm the beast.

I open the door of the jeep and slide in next to him. He’s shaking and won’t look at him. “Steve, what’s going on?”

“People are just pissing me off today.” He punches the seat in front of him. “Believe it or not, I have my limits. Most of the shit I back out on is shit my dad would be disappointed to see. I’ve disappointed him enough. I don’t give a shit if he’s proud, I just don’t want him to be ashamed of me. I want him to tell people that I’m his son.”

His hand is shaking. “Why are you shaking?”

He laughs in a sickening way. “You don’t give a shit. You’re just here to make me go back out there, to do your job. No one gives a shit about Steve-O!” I look down at the floor and open the door. I step out of the jeep with one foot. “Where are you going?”

I sigh and get all the way out. Without looking at him, I start. “I’m not about to sit here and listen to your petty woe is me no one cares bullshit. I am the last person you should have said that to and you know it because you know I fucking care about you. I’m your friend. I’m worried about you. But, since I don’t care, I’m going to leave and let you sulk in your little fucking pity party.” I slam the door and walk away back to the crew. As they tear down equipment, I take my phone out and call Johnny.

“Hey sweetheart.”

My cheeks turn red. “Hi Johnny, what are you up to?”

“Oh, just laying around. It’s 1am here.”

“Oh, shit, I forgot. Sorry.”

He chuckles. “It’s okay, how it going in India?”

I sigh. “Steve-O just told me that I didn’t give a shit about him. No one does. And then when I got up to leave he asked me where I was going.”

“He must not have brought enough with him.”

“Enough what?”

Johnny sighs through the phone. “Steve-O’s going through a rough patch right now where he feels like he needs to self-medicate.”

My eyes go wide. “Oh shit. I didn’t know.”

“He gets all fucking woe is me and egotistical and shakes and gets pissed off and wont comply with anything. Basically, he’s a bigger pain in the ass than usual.”

“The fucker hurt my feelings. I’ve been up with him every night, listening to him talk about everything and he tells me I don’t care.”

“Well, everyone else knows you care. He’ll snap out of it. Steve-O aside, how are you?”

“I’m okay, I just miss everyone.” I just miss you is all.

“You’ll be home in a few days, and then you’ll be sick of it and want to go back to India.”

I scoff. “Doubtful.” Jeff motions that it’s time to go. “I gotta go, I’ll see you in a few days.” I try not to sound too excited.

“Good. See you soon.”

“Goodnight, Johnny.”

“Talk to you soon, sweetheart.”