The Saints Can't Help Me Now

I wake up the next day unsure of what actually happened last night. I know that sex happened because I wake up naked in bed with Bam. I know we came back to my apartment because I’m in my room. I don’t remember the initial transition between bar to apartment. I don’t remember having sex after returning. I look under the blanket and see bite marks all over my body. I definitely don’t remember those. I look at Bam who is turned away from me. His back is obliterated with scratch marks. I definitely don’t remember that either. I groan and cover my head with the blanket. The light hurts. My head starts throbbing. Ugh, that hurts too. I come to the conclusion that I am a mess. I get up, trying as hard as possible to avoid the light, slip on some clothes, and go into the living room.

Frieda has her normal position on the couch. Does she ever work? I sit down next to her and she sips her tea while watching something on the TV. “You are loud at the sexing, Liebling.” I blush. “I do not have the care. You had all of the drunk when you arrived. Do you remember?” I shake my head. She laughs. “We all have the nights of those.”

“Wait, Hold on.” I put my hands on my head and close my eyes, trying to focus really hard to remember what happened. “Okay!” I start. “I fell off the chair at the bar, Bam picked me up and we left, and then we…” I stop and blush. “Well, nevermind that. We left the bar and got back. What happened after that? Shit!” I lay my head back on the couch and keep my eyes closed.

“You attempted the speaking of German to me. Very amusing.” She giggles.

I roll my eyes. “Oh god. What else did I do?”

“You called me Liebling many many times, and you traveled to the room and had the sexing for many hours.” She smirks.

I feel pressure on my body. “oof!” I look to see and grinning half naked boy on my lap. I think Frieda about pees herself to see Bam Margera in her apartment without a shirt on. I smile and kiss his very scratched up back. “Hey you.”

“Oh, so you don’t regret fucking me drunk yet? That’s a good thing, especially since I will probably have these fucking scars for the rest of forever. There is blood where I slept, you fucking bitch.”

“You should have been prepared. And how can I regret something I don’t remember?” Frieda looks shocked that he just called me a fucking bitch. I giggle her facial expression. “It’s okay Fried, he means it with love.”

He catches glimpse of my bruise. “Oh shit! Did I do that?”

He gently touches it and I wince. “No, it happened yesterday afternoon. Hey, how did you drive last night?”

He laughs. “I wasn’t near as wasted as you were. I wasn’t even on your level, babe.” I get butterflies, and gulp hard. Babe. No one has called me babe in so long. It feels good. “What happened yesterday?”

God dammit, I’m trying to get off the subject. “Oh, I got hit by a ball. It was an accident. No big deal.”

“By who?”

“It doesn’t matter! It’s fine! It was an accident.”

“it does matter! They hurt you. No one hurts my babe.” He kisses the ugly bruise. “Except me of course.” He giggles and pokes a hickey on my neck.

I yell and push him off my lap. “I hate you.”

And so Bammy is back in my life once again.