The Saints Can't Help Me Now

Instead of being back on the set of Jackass with the boys, I sat in a doctor’s office. My nausea had turned into puking and that was my last straw. Johnny offered to come with me, but I declined. I’m sure I just had a bug, and hopefully they could give me medicine or tell me when it was going to stop.

The doctor asked me the normal questions and I had the normal answers. He left and then came back a few minutes later to give me the physical examination, and then left again. He came back with a clipboard and a smile.

“You are not having in stomach complications, Miss Crowe. You also do not have any flu or illness.”

I look at him, confused. “Well, what’s wrong with me then, sir?”

“Congratulations, you are expecting.”

My eyes go wide. “Expecting what?”

He chuckles a little. “A child, Miss.”

I was in disbelief. “Please tell me you’re joking. I have the flu, right?”

His look turns more serious. “I am serious, Miss Crowe. If you’d like, we can go through your options.”

“What other options are there besides killing it and having it?” I can't kill it, it's my fault it's in there.

“Well, there is ‘killing it’ as you so eloquently put it, but if you decided to have it you could put it up for adoption if you feel like you are not equipped for parenthood yet.”

I was still in shock. It still hadn’t hit me that there was a child growing inside of me, and I had no idea who the father was. The doctor gives me my examination papers, and recommendations for a gynecologist in the area. Johnny was supposed to pick me up and take me back to where they were filming today, but I didn’t want to see him. My mom is at work. Frieda can’t drive.

I call Johnny. He answers with a friendly greeting, as always. “Hey beautiful.”

I nervously respond. “Uh, hey hon. My mom is going to pick me up because I’m going to use her insurance for my medication.” Bad lie. Does he buy it?”

“Okay, so what was wrong?” Thank god he bought it.

“Just a bug. They gave me anti-nausea medication.” Good lie.

“That’s good. So will I see you later?”

I don’t want to see him right now. What do I say? “I have plans with my mom tonight. Sorry hon. We’re going to a movie.”

He sounds sad. “Okay, well I’ll talk to you tonight sweetheart.”

“Bye.”

I hang up and pace the outside of the clinic, trying to think of who to call. I think of the best person to call.

“Hey..”

“Can you pick me up?”

“Um, yeah. At home?”

“No, I’ll text you the address.”

“Okay, I’ll be there soon.”

“One more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t tell anyone you’re coming to get me.”