Status: Updates Eventually.
It's Been a While
Pick The One You Hate The Least
“Hi Dominik. I’m Natalie. What’s your favorite dinosaur?” I said to Jillian’s kid. Jillian’s kid…what the fuck…
“Thteogothauruth.” Apparently dinosaur names were the only thing he said with a lisp. It was adorable.
“Good choice, those are my favorite too. Bandit, what’s yours?” Excellent job, Gerard Way. Name your child Bandit and your dog Susan. Just…excellent job.
“Umm...umm…rhino.”
“That’s not scientifically a dinosaur, but in your mind it can be anything you want, kid.”
Aiden walked in then. “My favorite dinosaur is the T-Rex, as uncreative as that may be. But I regret nothing. You know, one time, when I was about you age, I met this really cool T-Rex. His name was George, and I saw him every day on the way to the bus. You know, it was a normal exchange. Hi, how are you, he’d give me a fresh stalk of broccoli every day, the usual….” I let Aiden continue on with his ridiculous story while Jillian ushered Becca and I out the door.
“Need any help, guys?” The saleswoman was surprisingly and comfortingly casual for a bridal shop. “Umm…got any dresses in lavender?” I asked. Lavender was nice. We could save black for the funerals.
“Sure, honey. For you two?” She pointed to Jill and Becca.
“Yup,” I said. “And my wedding dress is here too. Under the name Natalie?”
“Sure honey. Be back in a flash. Our purple rack is right over there in the back. Your sizes should be toward the left.”
“Rules!” I said, before the search began. “No shorter than the knee, no lower than the boob. Nothing obnoxious, nothing too tight, and nothing that will question the bride’s sanity. Go!” Becca ran frantically along the rack, plucking off dresses and dumping them across Jillian’s arms. Jillian groaned with every new shade of purple she would potentially have to wear.
“I like this one,” Becca said in response to the sixteenth dress.
“Believe it or not, I like it too,” Jill replied. They emerged, the dress suddenly giving them both unusual amounts of grace. It was long, tighter around the torso with a silk sash tying to the side. But no obnoxious bow. The bottom had a subtle dusting of sparkles, and the color was dark enough to contrast with my white dress but light enough to be pretty rather than sassy.
“I’ve got your dress over in this room, honey. I can help you put it on if you’d like,” The shop attendant offered, after showering Becca and Jill with compliments over how they looked in the dress. “Umm…you guys want to see?” I asked.
“Fuck yeah, I do,”
“Not missing a chance to see you in white.”
“Alright…warning, this could take a while…” Wedding dresses were a bitch to put on. I do sympathize with Elizabethan Era women.
Ten minutes later, I called out to them. “Ready?”
“Let’s see it, bride to be!”
“Alright then…”
“Thteogothauruth.” Apparently dinosaur names were the only thing he said with a lisp. It was adorable.
“Good choice, those are my favorite too. Bandit, what’s yours?” Excellent job, Gerard Way. Name your child Bandit and your dog Susan. Just…excellent job.
“Umm...umm…rhino.”
“That’s not scientifically a dinosaur, but in your mind it can be anything you want, kid.”
Aiden walked in then. “My favorite dinosaur is the T-Rex, as uncreative as that may be. But I regret nothing. You know, one time, when I was about you age, I met this really cool T-Rex. His name was George, and I saw him every day on the way to the bus. You know, it was a normal exchange. Hi, how are you, he’d give me a fresh stalk of broccoli every day, the usual….” I let Aiden continue on with his ridiculous story while Jillian ushered Becca and I out the door.
“Need any help, guys?” The saleswoman was surprisingly and comfortingly casual for a bridal shop. “Umm…got any dresses in lavender?” I asked. Lavender was nice. We could save black for the funerals.
“Sure, honey. For you two?” She pointed to Jill and Becca.
“Yup,” I said. “And my wedding dress is here too. Under the name Natalie?”
“Sure honey. Be back in a flash. Our purple rack is right over there in the back. Your sizes should be toward the left.”
“Rules!” I said, before the search began. “No shorter than the knee, no lower than the boob. Nothing obnoxious, nothing too tight, and nothing that will question the bride’s sanity. Go!” Becca ran frantically along the rack, plucking off dresses and dumping them across Jillian’s arms. Jillian groaned with every new shade of purple she would potentially have to wear.
“I like this one,” Becca said in response to the sixteenth dress.
“Believe it or not, I like it too,” Jill replied. They emerged, the dress suddenly giving them both unusual amounts of grace. It was long, tighter around the torso with a silk sash tying to the side. But no obnoxious bow. The bottom had a subtle dusting of sparkles, and the color was dark enough to contrast with my white dress but light enough to be pretty rather than sassy.
“I’ve got your dress over in this room, honey. I can help you put it on if you’d like,” The shop attendant offered, after showering Becca and Jill with compliments over how they looked in the dress. “Umm…you guys want to see?” I asked.
“Fuck yeah, I do,”
“Not missing a chance to see you in white.”
“Alright…warning, this could take a while…” Wedding dresses were a bitch to put on. I do sympathize with Elizabethan Era women.
Ten minutes later, I called out to them. “Ready?”
“Let’s see it, bride to be!”
“Alright then…”